The following days brought some calm but it felt as if I was walking on eggshells around him. In truth, the whole episode with the curse had left us both awkward whenever we were alone together. Somehow, it was actually okay in my book. I hoped that it would make it easier once I had to leave the ship and its crew behind. It was what I had planned from the beginning to do but I was till catching myself in thinking how it could be if I stayed. But then again, those thoughts had not occurred as often after the episode with the curse.
After things had gone back to normal, I withdrew slowly from socializing with the rest of the crew. I feared it would be too hard to leave them later because I had to go back to doing things on my own again. The only one who seemed annoyed by it was Russell, the other's simply stayed quiet about it. To come up with an excuse to Russell, I had borrowed some of Christopher's books but they also kept me occupied. Despite my best tries, Russell still managed to corner me on the deck. I could already tell what he wanted to talk about before he even opened his mouth.
''Hey! What's with the sneaking around?!'' He was angry, that much was obvious in his tone.
''Russell…'' I sighed softly, not really interested in explaining myself to him but then again, maybe I owed him that much.
''What?'' He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me with narrowed eyes.
''It's not personal if that's what you think.'' I tried but I knew it wouldn't be enough for him.
''Then why the hell have you been avoiding me and everyone else? What's going on?''
''I'll tell you if you lower your voice.'' I spoke calmly and watched as his hard expression faltered a bit.
''Fine.'' He muttered after a short silence.
''Thanks…'' I breathed softly before taking a deep breath. ''Look, I'm leaving you guys in two days. I'm just trying to make that easier.''
''Easier for who?''
''Me, us… Maybe… I'm just… I like you guys, so it's gonna be hard to leave.'' I smiled faintly and his expression softened drastically.
''Then why don't you stay?'' He asked softly, his face turning a bit red in the darkness.
''I'm not a pirate like you guys-''
''You can be!''
''No, Russell! I can't!'' I sighed. ''I just can't.'' I ended up smiling bittersweet. The main reason wasn't the pirate business but because I couldn't be around Eduard anyone, not with this one-sided love.
He looked frustrated then, like he wanted to solve my problem but he didn't know how. ''It doesn't have anything to do with Eduardo, does it?'' He asked, his voice betraying his otherwise calm expression. Despite asking, he looked like he didn't really want to know the answer.
I studied him quietly as I didn't know what to say. I felt what little determination I had left crumble right in front of me and I took a shaky breath. ''He's… Yeah, it does.''
''I should have known.'' He whispered and looked down. ''That bastard.''
''It's not his fault, it's mine. That's why I'm leaving.'' I tried to smile but it was weak and not too convincing. ''It's for the best.''
He stayed silent and kept his eyes down.
I let out a small sigh.
''I'm going back to my room. Thanks for worrying about me.'' I spoke calmly and gave his hand a soft squeeze before beginning to walk away. I couldn't handle the silence and I knew it would make me cry if I didn't leave. And I wasn't about to cry in front of him again. I looked over my shoulder a last time before heading inside. He stood still but his hands had been balled into fists and he looked deep in thought. For a second, I thought about going back but that thought only lasted a second, then the door closed.
He had listened to her walk away, her footsteps so light compared to the others, while he found himself in an unknown cluster of emotions. He was angry, disappointed and the sight of her showing him that expression made his chest hurt. He wasn't sure why he felt these things and it only made him angrier. It was all Eduardo's fault. It was his fault that she couldn't stay and it was his fault that she looked so sad now and didn't smile.
He let out a breath he had been holding and let his hands relax. He wasn't sure what to do next. He wanted to follow her and do something, he wasn't sure what yet but maybe we would know once he stood there.
''Hey, idiot, what the hell are you standing there for? Did your brain shut down?''
He turned around when he heard the mocking laugh behind him and once he saw the ravenette, he felt all the rage return to him. He moved before he knew it really and he practically flew to the taller male, hands grabbing the collar and shoving him back against the wall. Eduardo let out a groan as his back hit the wall and his hands shot up to grab the ones holding him.
''What the he-''
''What did you do?!'' Russell shouted and interrupted Eduardo.
''What are you talking about, you imbecile?'' He hissed back while trying to escape the strong grip but Russell didn't budge.
''She says she won't stay because of you! She even said she left home because of you and that other-'' He shouted but he was cut off when Eduardo suddenly moved. During the next few seconds, he found himself being slammed against the wall and was now held there by Eduardo, who looked furious.
''Other what?!'' He hissed.
Sure, he had seen Eduardo angry before but this was on a whole new level. His glare made him fall silent while he stood still. When he tried to move to escape the iron grip, all he got was another hard shove to the wall.
''What did she tell you?!''
''Nothing!'
''Listen to me you little-''
''Take your fucking hands of me!''
''What did she tell you?'' He growled deeply and the grip tightened.
''Just… something about marriage to some rival that her dad made, so she skipped town the next morning.'' Russell groaned deeply and mentally kicked himself for exposing the secret.
Eduardo let go of him once he had gotten the answer he was searching for and then stormed off in the direction of his room. Russell slid down the wall and ended up sitting on the floor. He had messed up. While squeezing his eyes shut, he ran a hand through his hair, why did he always mess up?
The conversation I had just had with Russell was still on my mind as I sat on the bed, trying to read. It wasn't going well and I had already given somewhat up when I could hear the loud footsteps approaching our room and I quickly knew who it was. Eduardo opened the door and quickly slammed it behind him again but I didn't bother to react. He had probably just argued with Russell again because he was still mocking him for being so short for two days.
But I quickly learned how wrong I was.
''What's the deal with you?'' His voice was sharp and hard.
''What are you talking about?'' I looked up at him from my place on the bed with a puzzled look. It was obvious to say that he looked pissed and I readied myself for a fight.
''Why did you lie to me?''
''Lie about what?'' I asked and stood up, having slightly raised my voice to match his tone.
''About why you left!''
I narrowed my eyes slightly. ''Why I left was my own choice. What could I even lie about?''
''Really? So you didn't run away from something?'' He asked and leaned closer to me.
''What the hell are you on about?''
''I'm talking about the deal your worthless father made!'' He was shouting now.
''Russell… that little…'' I muttered and balled my hands into fists. ''Look, that has nothing to do with you!'' I shouted back.
''I don't care! Why didn't you tell me that you're engaged?!''
''Because I'm not! It wasn't my goddamn choice!''
''Who is it?''
''What does it matter?!''
''It just does! Who is it?!''
''It doesn't matter!''
''Tess!''
''It was Caleb, alright?!''
''That two-faced liar….''He muttered and looked away from me.
''Sounds like you remember him…'' I huffed slightly, ''but it doesn't matter! Besides, you're the one who just suddenly walked away!''
''Don't you dare say that I just walked away! You know exactly why I left in the first place!'' He huffed in anger, ''if it didn't matter then why didn't you tell me?!''
''Because I didn't want you to know! Now, I don't want to talk about this anymore!'' I shouted and went to pass him to get outside but my arm was grabbed and I was held back.
''We're not done here!''
''Yes we are, Eduardo! Let me go!'' I tried to yank my arm free but his grip was too tight.
''You're not leaving before I say you do!''
''Stop it!'' I yelled and turned, not really knowing what I was doing before I heard the sound and saw my hand slap him. His grip around my arm disappeared as that hand went to cover his cheek instead. He looked at me in surprise, like he didn't believe what had just happened.
''You want to know why I really left that place? I left because everything turned worse when you were gone and I couldn't stand being there without you. I missed you! I missed you enough to leave all that behind and I've tried to find you for years! Is that what you want to hear?!'' I continued shouting at him while he simply stared at me. ''You left me in that hell of a home! Did you seriously expect me to stay put and just accept my fate?! I thought you knew me better than that!''
''Do you even know how we broke that stupid curse back then? That kiss was supposed to mean something, be a symbol, otherwise it wouldn't have worked and we wouldn't have switched back. Do you even realize what that means?!'' I shouted and realized how quick I was breathing. I felt pathetic and my body started to shake. ''… but it looks like even ancient curses can be wrong.'' I finished with a shaking voice and pressed my lips tightly together. ''You've changed for the worse… I regret ever running into you that day.'' I knew right then that I would begin to cry any second and quickly turned around to escape the room.
I felt like jumping off the ship and escape this nightmare. While choking a sob, I could still feel my hand throb from slapping him. How hard did I hit him? I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration and felt a few tears run down my face.
''Tess?''
I opened my eyes again while I felt my chin and mouth quiver. I found Morgan staring at me, the usual cheerful smile missing on his face.
''Ah, I guess this explains the shouting I just heard.'' He sighed audibly and moved to me.
I didn't say a word as his hand found me shoulder and he lead me across the deck. I didn't question where he was taking me because I feared if I could keep the sobs back if I opened my mouth. He lead me to his room and didn't address me before he had closed the door behind us and made me sit down on the bed.
''Now, what happened?''
''We… we fought.'' I took a deep breath and let my eyes focus on the floor. I bit my lip as I recalled his surprised expression. He had even looked a little hurt. ''Oh God… I even slapped him.'' I breathed and squeezed my eyes shut in regret.
''From what I could hear, you both yelled an equal amount.''
I clenched my hands. Screw that I had slapped him, how dared he to act like that in the first place?! I felt anger replace my regret while my expression turned into a frown. It wasn't his business anyways so what gave him the right to act like it was?!
''Tess.''
I looked back at him once he addressed me and I unclenched my hands.
''What he did in there… what he said is unforgivable.''
''Now, now… don't you think that's a little drastic?'' He chuckled faintly.
''No.'' I muttered and took a deep breath. ''It's over. I'm not even going to look at him tomorrow and then I'm getting off this ship.''
''Are you sure? All of the guys seem to like you.''
''Thanks but… some of the things I said in there… It's for the best anyways.'' I forced myself to smile again and let out a shaky breath. ''After I leave, will you please tell the guys something for me?''
''You owe me a favor then.'' He chuckled at me and nodded.
''Sure…'' I chuckled softly and kept my eyes cast down. ''You guys are the closest I've been to a family for a while and I just wanted to thank you for that.''
''If you change your mind about staying, we'll be here.''
''Thanks.'' I hummed and looked up at him while his large hand ruffled my hair.
''You can stay here tonight. Then we'll see what happens tomorrow.''
''What about you?''
''Don't worry about me. Just forget about this now and get some sleep.''
''Thank you, really.''
''It's fine, really. Get some sleep.'' His large hand tousled my hair before he left the room.
When the door closed, I started crying again and I couldn't stop before I felt drained.
I just wanted to get off the boat.