Chapter Seventeen
Breaking And Making Promises
Right now I was really missing watching weird movies with Kyler. Not stupid movies, but weird ones that we'd find at random times. Like 'Manic' or 'The Princess and The Warrior' - both having to do with insane asylums, but still weird. Once I even found a movie called 'Mysterious Skin'... the only movie in the world that made me feel as though I was about to vomit. But I held it in. I hadn't been able to find it again in order to let Kyler watch it. Still, I missed watching movies with Kyler. And making mac-n-cheese instead of popcorn to watch movies with. And orange soda. So that all my food and drink were orange colored. I love orange.
I've probably gained fifty pounds by being left to do nothing, laying on the edge of the bed on my stomach, with my hand hanging off the side as I stared at the wall. It was a peaceful experience, though, learning to warp myself into my own thoughts in order to pass time. I think I was actually teaching myself the true concept of patience. But still, I felt as though my mass was enlarging to where gravity was becoming heavier lately. The scale says I'm losing weight, but it's lying to me. Evanen say's I'm losing weight - it's scary to him - but I think he's lying. All guys lie. What makes me trust them now?
I'm fat. I'm going back in time to be a fat, nasty, pimple-face, boobless girl.
I felt a cool hand lightly press in between my shoulder blades assuringly. For a moment, I considered responding by either looking to see who it was (most likely Evanen) or saying something, but now that I was already in the zone of self observation of the cognitive state, I didn't even twitch.
"Hailence," Evanen said in a hushed voice, probably assuring himself that I wasn't asleep. "Hail.. I got something for you." At this, I sighed. What now? The dress Kyler was burried in? That is, if she was burried in a dress... Either way, I lifted my head and looked to Evanen.
"What is it," I asked suspiciously. The tone of my voice made him hesitate for a moment, but then he was up and pulling something out of his inner jacket pocket. For a moment, my heart stopped a beat, and then I lunged at Evanen. "You didn't!"
"Oh, not again," Evanen moaned, but I snatched the notebook from his hand.
"I can't believe you actually got this for me," I said in utter delight, sitting back on my feet on the bed. On the front cover of the notebook was the words 'Hailence Truit's Writing - A Complete Waste Of Time', and Kyler had her little notes along with mine to fill in the rest of it. My random notebook was back with me at last. I flipped to a random page to see the words "Knowing life's diseases are her curse..." and Kyler's cursive digging into the page almost angrily "Her only ease is knowing life could be worse." I traced my fingertip over the words, remembering Kyler's scolding me on that depressing day.
"You're not cursed," her voice hissed, "You're simply blessed with knowledge. Only those who go through the worse know more about the joy of being alive." And then I couldn't remember what we did after that. I wonder if she came back to life, who would know more about the joy of being alive? Her or me?
Evanen moved beside me on the bed and held a pen in front of me. I looked from the notebook to the pen, and grabbed it slowly. I flipped the notebook to an empty page, and for a nice moment, I just stared at it. And then I lowered the pen and placed the tip of it in the middle of the page. I rotated my hand into a circular movement, and watched the black ink follow the pen around the paper. Then I widened the circular scribbles until they'd reached the max of the paper.
"Truly poetic... I can see the charm in that discription of... okay, what'd you do that for," Evanen asked, looking at the swirling mark on the paper with confusion.
"It's nothing... which is exactly what I felt like writing right now," I stated, and flipped through the pages to show how many different pages had random things like smiley faces, stars, scribbles, and random shapes on them when I felt like writing something, but not writing anything. "Is it dark outside?" I shut the notebook and looked at Evanen.
He nodded. "Why?"
"Could I go to the garden?" Evanen looked at the door and hesitated.
"I don't think right now is a good time. I'm in the middle of something, actually," Evanen said slowly.
I bit my bottom lip. "Do you have to come with me?"
This brought Evanen's look from the door straight back to me almost suspiciously. "I definitely don't believe that's a good idea at all."
"Well, why not? You can't possibly think I'm going to run away. You'd find me in a second," I pouted. Then an idea sparked. "Besides, you wouldn't have to worry about the others coming after me. Not after that threat you said. I'm sure they wouldn't try anything, seeing as they're obviously all for this criptic 'Rising'. And if I feel as though anybody else is around, I'll call for you." And I tapped the silver necklace around my neck. Suddenly, I realized how ironic it was that I was the one trying to convince Evanen to let me out of the room rather than the other way around.
Evanen hesitated, obviously not liking the idea of this, but I could see he was going to let it by. "Fine," he said, "Come on, then." I got up and went around the bed to follow Evanen out the bedroom. He led me downstairs while I was listening for any noises, but there was none. It seemed like everybody was dead or something. But the moment we reached the back door, Cecilian appeared.
"Where do you think you're going," Cecilian asked testily.
"I'm going nowhere," Evanen said boredly, and he turned to me. "Remember.." He tapped the necklace and I nodded. I took one last glance at Cecilian, who was giving me such a look that I absentmindedly reached up to touch the light scars on my cheek from her swipe. I walked out the backdoor, and didn't paused to enjoy the outside air until I was pretty sure nobody was at the door anymore. Then I took a deep breath, slowing my walk towards the garden and looking up at the sky to see the million spendid stars against the black of space.
I entered the edge of the garden at last, my notebook still in my clutch, and continued to slowly glide towards the fountain. When I got to the edge of the pond, I bent down, placing the notebook beside me, and looked at the dark water. I could barely see those nervous fish flitting about underneath the dark sheeth, but I wasn't that into fish anyways. What I did like was the feel of water, so I continued to touch the tip of my fingers to the surface of the pond. I pulled back my hand to rub the water on my fingertips together. Then I turned to grab my notebook. There was one problem, though. It was no longer beside me.
I hesitated, looking at where I had placed it as though waiting for it to appear again. Then I continued to look from the spot to behind me. Nobody was there. I looked at the water. I didn't see any shape of a notebook underneath the blanket of the pond. I looked back behind me, unsure as to whether I should be worried or not.
".. A Complete Waste Of Time, huh," I heard a voice say from the opposite side of me, and I twisted around to look, my heart jolting with startlement. Mikel sat there, looking at the title of the book, but not opening it. Then he looked at me. "Sounds delightful to me." And he held it out for me to take. I hesitated, but took it back from him.
"I didn't hear you come," I said slowly and unsurely. I flipped through the pages real quick-like in order to make sure they all were there. Not that I'd know if one was missing or not, but it assured me for some reason.
"I was actually here already," Mikel stated assuringly, "I heard you coming, but I was trying not to startle you too much."
"Oh," I said, looking back down at the notebook.
Suddenly, Mikel said, "So, what do you write in there."
I hesitated, and opened it randomly. "Different things. Sometimes just facts, or things I want to remember. Other times it's small stories... or poems." I flipped the page, my brows furrowed.
"Can you read me something," Mikel asked curiously.
I thought about the promise I told Evanen, and I stood up suddenly, "I think I need to go." And I started to leave when Mikel was suddenly blocking my way. My heart jolted again, and I realized I was far away from the house, out here by myself with Mikel. What if everything Evanen had said was true. I gripped my necklace suddenly, getting ready to call for Evanen.
"Wait," Mikel said, taking notice to my sudden panicked structure. "I'm not going to hurt you or anything, I swear. It's just.. you don't have to go right now. I mean, everybody's busy at the house right now..."
"I-I know, I just think that maybe it's not good to stay here.." I started, and moved to go around him. Mikel blocked the way again.
"What's wrong? Did I say something or do something? Did someone else say or do something? Haven't you noticed that I've been trying to prove to you that I'm not intending to hurt you," Mikel asked, suddenly looking hurt. I was now the guilty one, and I hesitated before letting go of my necklace. Then I bit my lip.
"It's just...," I sat down at a bench, followed by Mikel, before continuing in a mutter, "You were the one in my head not long ago. Telling me to go out here." I looked up carefully. "Weren't you?" Mikel looked a bit sheepish, and I knew it was true.
"I didn't mean to mess you up like that or to scare you. I was actually.. well.. I was planning on trying to get you out of here," Mikel responded guiltily. I smiled, realizing I had obtained my goal without even knowing it. But then I thought about how strong Evanen was, and how he could probably defeat Drewdon.. and how this necklace could probably be a mic or something.
"I don't think I'll be leaving anytime soon," I said in defeat. "We'd probably have to wait until Evanen became less attached to me." I put up my hands into claws and said, "He's like a bandaid... can't rip him off of me or it'll hurt, so you got to wait until my sabaceous glands excrete enough oil to just make him slide off like ice." And I put down my hands.
"But before the Rising, of course," Mikel stated thoughtfully.
"Yeah, bef-," I paused, "Wait, why before the Rising?"
Mikel turned to look at me, a silver film glowing over his eyes that I'd never noticed before. "In case he tries to give it to you."
I hesitated, "Give what?" Not AIDS, not AIDS, not AIDS...
"Give... do you not know what the Rising is about," Mikel asked in confusion. I merely stared at him, and he looked disturbed. I like making people looked disturbed by staring at them, but something told me that being ignorant towards the Rising wasn't a thing to joke about. "Everybody's so worried about you messing up the plan with the Rising, and you don't even know what it is?"
"I guess not," I said, "I thought it was something like an initiation... you know, how in psychology they talk about initiation rites, where people are celebrated for passing a stage in life. Like promotions or graduations... and in this case I figured it was a vampire thing for celebrating your 21st birthday or something." Mikel had turned into stone. I stared at him a moment, mainly at his eyes which were glowing in the darkness with that silver film... it must be an animal thing to help him see. But he wasn't exactly looking at me. Just through me, as though he were indeed a statue. I went back to biting my lips, and tore my gaze from his eyes to my notebook, flipping through the pages to read through them. I decided I wasn't going to try to wake him up.
"He's throwing a party," Mikel suddenly said, and I continued to read to show that I didn't quite understand that random burst of thought. "Evanen... well, more like Cecilian... they're throwing a party soon, inviting plenty of our type of people, in order to celebrate his 21st birthday. That's the initiation rite. The Rising isn't a celebration... it's more of a... set date of Evanen's true purpose." I looked up from the notebook.
"And what's his purpose," I asked curiously.
Mikel looked back towards the house before saying in a quiet voice, "Power."
I was now putting this statement together with the before one. "So, when you say 'in case he gives it ' to me... you're saying before he.." I didn't feel like finishing that sentence, but I knew it was right by Mikel's affirming look. I could hear Cecilian's threat of not to try to get Evanen to turn me. Not to screw up the Rising. They're afraid he'll turn me, then. "I don't... but I haven't... I can't stay here forever!" I stood up, looking around as though there would be flashing red lights that said "Exit".
Mikel gripped my wrist and pulled me back down on the bench. "It's all right. I know what you mean... you can believe that." He looked back at the house once again. "Listen, Evanen's about to come out here to get you. I know he told you not to talk to me and all, but I need you to promise me something very important."
I looked in the direction of the house but couldn't even see the edge of the garden. "I don't know," I said uncertainly, not exactly ecstatic to have to make another promise. Mikel lightly moved my head to face him.
"The party... I said it has a lot of people like us there. I need you to promise me that you won't leave Evanen's sight," Mikel said, sounding suddenly desperate. He glanced into the darkness once again.
"I... I don't know," I said with hesitation, feeling suddenly nervous.
"If you do get out of his sight, find me," Mikel ordered firmly, "Don't talk to anybody or wander off anywhere. I'll be nearby, so you won't have to look too far, okay? Promise?"
I bit my lip again, looking down, "I promise." When I looked up, he was no longer there. I looked around with wonder, but there was no sign of him anywhere. Vampires are weird. Whatever happened to goodbye or something? But, no, all I got was darkness. For some reason, I felt unexplainably depressed. It was the same way I felt when Kyler would leave from visiting my house.. a sort of feeling as though...
"Hailence, you need to come back in, now," Evanen suddenly said from behind. I continued to look at the spot where Mikel's eyes had been not a second ago. "Was someone out here?" Evanen started to sniff about, and - afraid he would sense Mikel's previous presense - I jumped up.
"Okay, let's go."
I stood up and walked over to Evanen, and to further distract him of his surroundings, I held out my hand expectantly. Without even hesitating, Evanen gripped my hand and started walking ahead to tug me along. I think it's a type of technique he uses to remind him to walk slowly... which in my language is known as speed walking. But when I tugged back on his hand a bit, he'd slow down in his own walk.
For a moment, I thought it must suck in some sort of way to be a vampire. Being too fast, too strong, too advanced for the world they're in. So in order to fit in, they'd have to slow themselves down. And I myself hated to slow down for anything. I liked to go as fast I could... such as a computer. Who hasn't gotten mad at a computer for stalling a fraction of a second.
I kept looking behind me to see if maybe Mikel would be following us, or if I could spot a shadow of him off in the garden - which was now a good distance away. But there was only blackness. Maybe I'd be able to see better if I had silver films over my eyes. Then I could see through anything. At least, that's what I was pretty sure that film meant. What else would it mean? For a second, I wondered if vampires could see in color in the dark. Because we can't see colors when it's dark. Only shades. Once light is showing, our rods (used to see in the dark) go out and our cones (used to see color) go on. Then in the dark, the rods turn on, and the cones turn off. So vampires most likely are like animals, with loads of rods, but not as many cones.
"Hey, Evanen," I said slowly. He turned to look at me, and I noticed automatically there was no film over his eyes. "Can you see extremely well in the dark?" He smiled and looked back towards the house.
"I figured you'd know that by now, seeing as I'm almost absolutely positive we've had this conversation before," Evanen stated. I remembered the blur of that dark night when I couldn't sleep, testing him to see if he could actually see me, and the feel of his rock-face.
"Right. Rocks and grapes," I said in realization. "Well, how come you don't have some sort of reflectant light on your eyes like cats and owls and stuff?" We turned a corner into the view of the house. I glanced up at the stars in the sky again, knowing I probably wouldn't see them for awhile. I felt like a dog.. a regular house pet, who doesn't get to go outside except for certain periods of time. I used to wonder what it would be like to have to live in a world of a box, never to know about the outer world. Sometimes I'd wonder if they'd ever even questioned about what was past the world. Or if they just took it for granted, like how I do with the Earth. Just assume this is the limit of life.
"I don't know. I'm weird," Evanen replied, almost annoyed, but he contained himself as we were entering the house. "Look, I just want you to know, we're having a party here."
"What's the party for?"
"It's just a party.. type of happy birthday thing," Evanen responded shortly, "And I've got it scheduled for you to be fitted for a dress and all that stuff girls do to satisfy society." He sounded like anarchy. I'm not sure what that means or if it's right, but in my head, he sounded like anarchy.
"Fitted for a dress," I spat as though the thought of it tasted horrible, "Can't we just go find a two dollar one from a flea market?"
"Absolutely," Evanen stated, and I smiled, "Not." I frowned and rolled my eyes. That's when I spotted Mikel watching television in the living room. I paused, confused as to how he could be sitting there as though he'd been there all along. Evanen pulled me along, glaring at Mikel, who wasn't even looking our direction, but was watching television aptly.
"One more thing," Evanen said darkly, "During the party, I want you to.."
I interupted him, "I know, I know. Stay in your sight at all times. And when I lose sight of you, I'll scream until you find me again. I promise." And I gave a big shark-smile from Finding Nemo. That was always my favorite part of Finding Nemo; the part when the shark showed up and gave that big ole smile that showed his three rows of his bottom teeth, and then he'd say in that deep, slightly breathy voice... 'Hello'.