*** Hi guys, it's been a while and I truly apologize for my lack of updates. This chapter is going to introduce 2 characters. One is an OC (imagine the Spring Awakening Tour's Emma Hunton) and the other is a younger Harmony. I watched Emma when she starred in the national tour of Next to Normal and she was phenomenal. The character I based her on is kind of the antithesis of Quinn and canon first season Rachel.

She doesn't have the 'ideally' thin body type but she accepts it and barrels through the world, making everyone accept and love her for who she is because she knows she's talented and she won't let anyone stand in her way. And she is beautiful and exceptionally talented just like Rachel is in canon. The only thing is she thrived in a completely liberal arts friendly environment so while Rachel (and Ray for the most part) ended up severely insecure, this OC (Natalie) was actually quite popular and awe-inspiring at Carmel in the way that Rachel couldn't be while at McKinley.

Chapter 9: Throw Shadows at You

Ray's storm-out pace didn't stop although he had left the auditorium a good five minutes ago. The ground would have trembled in his wake if he had such physical weight. He put his trust in William Schuester to do what was best for the show choir and he was betrayed. What could be better for glee club than Ray Redford Berry?

It would be too much to consider Finn Hudson as his nemesis but if he were to consider staying at this godforsaken school, then that was exactly what that towering, half-witted lout would be. Even if nemesis implied some sort of equal ground between the two.

But he wasn't. Staying, that is.

It had to be said that he really did give this a chance and he really wanted to prove them wrong.

He'd miss out on the chance to help Puck stay on track with his academics. Or finding out why Santana has an eating disorder and how to help her realize that she is beautiful just the way she was only to have her slap him for it because she didn't need him to tell her that. He wanted to live in Brittany's world where anything was possible. Ray didn't want to leave them. Not when he finally felt like he could have normal friends.

And he'd really miss being able to see Quinn everyday. But perhaps it would be best. He was but a Phantom to Quinn's Christine.

But those eyes. Her smile. The cross look she gave him that desperately tried to hide one of amusement. The twitching upward eye roll. All the looks that she'd never get the chance to give him. He was going to miss it all. Shaking his head, he wondered if he was cursed to pine after girls that were always out of his reach. First Natalie and now Quinn…

Who said he had to leave? The argument snuck up on his mind, his own steps slowed in pace and he looked around the hall. If he just kept his head down. He could stay; he just wouldn't be apart of glee. He couldn't.

A voice stopped him and his furious thoughts in their tracks.

"Ray…" The woman stepped forward tentatively.

"Shelby?" Ray questioned, caught by surprise, "What are you doing back here?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing." She answered, meekly, he noted. They held the kind of hesitancy one had in the face of temperamental beast. Her eyes did not meet his.

"Why didn't you warn me?" It was a half-hearted question. The reasons were clear but still needed to hear it from her. He felt dejected and betrayed but it was all because Shelby wanted him back at Carmel. Where it was safe.

"Because there wouldn't have been a point." Shelby replied honestly, "And you wouldn't have witnessed all the self-righteous hypocrisy for yourself."

"I guess it doesn't hurt when you are at a school where you control the bias, right Mother?"

Shelby didn't falter, "I just want what's best for you. And I know it hasn't been the same since Natalie left but Vocal Adrenaline was good for you. Now come on, I think we can fast track your transfer."

"Wait, I still haven't decided-"

"It's already been decided!" Shelby said with finality, interrupting anything that her son had to say, "Ray, you can't work with these people. They're not going to support you or your dream. You're too good for them."

"I'm too much for them." Ray corrected, "I just need some time. I don't know for sure if I'm ready to give up just yet. Above all things, you taught me to never quit."

He was contradicting himself, he knew but thinking about all that he gained in the last week that he was at McKinley made him more hesitant. He had friends. Friends that he made without his mother's interference.

"That didn't stop you from quitting Vocal Adrenaline." Shelby countered, the bite in her voice made him flinch.

"You know why I left, Mom."

"Because they were bullies and you didn't want to stand up to them."

Ray flinched at the harsh truth but refused to let up, "And what if I want to stand up now?"

"Here? Of all places, Ray… You have no one here!"

"I have Noah! And Santana, Brittany too."

"Puckerman?" Shelby scoffed. "He's hardly the best influence or the best friend you make him out to be."

"Mom, I have friends here. It hasn't been a long time but I know I'm not afraid to talk to them or speak up for myself with them. I can be me."

Shelby shook her head but relented as much as she could, "How about we compromise?"

"What did you have in mind?" Ray asked sceptically.

"Watch VA rehearsals today and for the rest of the week. Help me coach. It'll do you some good to give some critique for once." She proposed, "Then you can make your decision."

With that, Shelby turned a heel and stormed out, executing the exit that took Ray ages to master with an ease that he still couldn't pull off.

"What are we going to do?" Kurt asked worriedly. "Glee club is done before it's even started!"

Tina Cohen-Chang nodded in agreement, "W-we're d-d-d-d-doomed."

"Hold up, y'all," Artie raised his hand and all attention turned to him, "That Ray Berry kid is crazy over show choir. I'm pretty sure he's the one that got Ryerson fired so I highly doubt that he'd spend all that effort and just quit."

"I'm gonna have to agree with Artie, guys." Mercedes joined in, "I mean that boy's a diva with a capital E-L-T-O-N. He's gonna come back. What else is he going to do at the school? There aren't any other music clubs at this school where he could sing."

"T-t-t-there's a-always d-drama?" Tina interjected. "I-I'm in t-t-hat club. T-they want t-to do a m-musical in t-the spring."

"It's not the same. For any of us" Artie argued, "I mean drama's great and Ray would probably be the best but what parts are there for people like me?"

"Besides, I want to sing." Mercedes added. "I bring my own drama to the song. I don't want to act out somebody else's."

"Then I suppose we need to get Ray back to glee somehow." Kurt stated with a glimmer in his eye.

Mercedes' eyes narrowed, "And what's got you so worked up, white boy?"

"I don't know about you but I want to know if Ray Berry is as Broadway as we think he is." Kurt leaned in and said it as if were a secret.

"What?"

"He knows Broadway!" Kurt repeated as if that would make his schoolmates understand.

Finally, Tina's eyes widened and she understood what he was getting at. "D-d-do you r-really think h-he's… gay?"

"Broadway! His dream is BROADWAY. And did you see that boy's ass in those pants? No straight teenage boy wears pants that hug the behind like that."

"But did you see the rest of his clothes?" His new bestie rebuffed. "I thought all you guys are supposed to be fashion forward."

"I thought he looked fly for a new guy." Artie said.

Kurt and Mercedes eyed the sweater-vest he was wearing, "Of course you do."

"Aren't y-you stereot-typing him?" Tina added meekly, "I-I mean, y-you're just s-saying that b-because y-y-you-"

She broke off suddenly at Kurt's deer-caught-in-headlights look. It was clear that while someone else's sexuality was free for discussion but his own was off the table, no matter how obvious it was. "I just m-mean that w-w-we shouldn't j-j-judge him b-b-because of B-b-roadway. H-h-how are w-w-we going t-to get him b-b-back?"

The conversation veered away from Ray's supposed sexuality and Kurt was grateful for Tina's tactful change of the thought. And while Kurt still vehemently avoided talking about his own sexuality, the possibility of having another gay boy at McKinley was a welcome one and made him feel a lot less alone.

It helped that Ray was easy on the eyes. Damn those tight yet still highly unfashionable pants.

Ray thought it was both ridiculous and borderline inhumane that Coach Sylvester demanded two or more Cheerios practices a day but he had to admit that her desire for perfection was admirable. Also, the sight of Quinn Fabray in her element was certainly a magnificent one.

He wondered briefly why he came here of all places but the auditorium seemed tainted now and getting a ride from Shelby was certainly out of the question.

"Ray?"

Uh oh.

"Hey, Quinn. You look quite radiant today, like always. It's not like I didn't see you earlier, obviously because we did share that pleasant conversation before your boyfriend was sentenced to glee club and I quit."

Quinn did a double take, the rush of information taking a second to sink in. "What?"

Ray blushed, "Not that this matters at all considering I was recruited minutes before quitting but-"

"Yo, Berry! Shouldn't you be squawking with the other misfit songbirds right about now? The hell are you doin' here perving on the Cheerios?"

Quinn answered for him with her usual Head Cheerio glare, "Lopez! Don't you have some equipment to clean up?"

"Wanky…" Santana smirked deviously before strutting up to Ray, "How 'bout it, Berry? Want me to… help clean some equipment?" She brushed her leg against his crotch making him stumble over then back away hastily.

"I-I-I'm okay. I mean shouldn't- You- Isn't the e-equipment outside where you guys conducted the practice?"

Quinn huffed and looked away from the whole exchange, angry with herself for letting Santana get to her like she was.

"Relax Munchkin, you ain't ready for this jelly." Santana tapped his chest teasingly before questioning him, "Seriously though, what's up?"

"Did you need something, Ray?" Quinn asked. It was wishful thinking on Ray's part that Quinn actually wanted him to ask her something.

Ray shuffled a bit but Santana's unrelenting glare hinted at her intolerance to waiting, "I came here to see you, Santana. I need to-uh… I need a ride home."

Humming, Santana crossed her arms and asked, "What's in it for me?"

"Would a dinner at Breadstix tomorrow evening be sufficient payment?"

"Breadtix, huh," She pretended to deliberate, enjoying Ray's discomfort and Quinn's growing ire, "You certainly know how to charm a girl, Berry. Fine, come on."

Santana dragged Ray away before he could protest. She threw another evil smirk Quinn's way, "See ya, Quinnie!"

Quinn's eyes narrowed and a surge of pure rage came rushing out. "Don't call me Quinnie, Satan-a." She seethed.

Sniggering, Santana merely shrugged and flipped her off, "Oooooh, burn."

"GET BACK HERE AND CLEAN UP, LOPEZ!" she roared.

Though Ray flinched at the tone, Santana just hollered back, "RELAX, PURITY QUEEN. I GOT NECKBRACE TO TAKE OVER CLEAN UP DUTY!"

They were almost at the parking lot when Ray chanced a look back at Quinn, only to find that her hapless boyfriend had made an appearance. He was too far away to see that Quinn was looking back in his direction before she was engulfed in Finn's arms.

Santana chuckled to herself as she heard the rage at their retreat. Berry might be a true-born geek but he had his uses. Pissing off the Ice Quinn? Probably the best one.

"I didn't think you had it in you, Frodo." She commented as she started up her car. "Making Quinn jealous by asking me for a ride home and offering to take me out to dinner? Brilliant."

Ray reddened and started to sputter, "I- that's not- what?"

"Oh please, like you didn't plan that?" Santana glanced sideways to see his non-verbal protest, "Wow. You didn't plan that. The little respect I had for you in the last five minutes is gone now."

"Of course I didn't! Please tell me you didn't believe I could be that manipulative and callous!"

"Please," Santana rolled her eyes, "I totally believe you could cut a bitch when you need to but for some reason you're missing the backbone."

Ray blushed, "Well… I didn't, but thanks…?"

Santana shrugged, "So what made you make a deal with the devil?"

"I needed a ride home, Santana. And I was hoping to take the long way home, if you don't mind."

"Wanky." Santana smirked, "But why me? Puckerman would rather ask the Spud for a ride home before asking me and Spudson ran over a mailman."

"The Spud?"

"Hudson. Finn's about as smart and animated as a potato… so I call him Spudson or the Spud."

"Oh." Ray shrugged and turned to look out the window. "You seemed like better company." He ignored the pointed look and continued with a fake smile and hollow joke, "Also, I'd rather not step in Noah's truck right now. Frankly, it smells like smoked cannabis and perspiring posteriors."

"Aaaand that's why I go through the effort of driving myself to school." Santana wrinkled her nose just thinking about the state of Puck's car. "Why can't you just say it smells like fucking weed and sweaty ass?"

"Because I sound more dignified and professional that way." Ray answered back, "Besides, you understood everything I said so what does it matter?"

Santana scoffed but didn't argue. "Okay, so you wanted a ride, fine. But I ain't your psychiatrist. Long way home, my ass. We're taking the short way and I'm speeding so you can keep your long winded, dignified mouth of yours, shut."

"How did you know I wanted to consult with you about something?"

"I think I'm just a Midget whisperer." She laughed as Ray huffed and stomped his foot. "Look, I don't know what you expect but I ain't exactly the sentimental, heart-to-heart types. I barely have one myself."

"I know, I just wanted some honest advice and you seemed like the only one that could give it."

Santana side-glanced and seeing just how pathetic Ray looked, she relented. "Ugh, fine. What's got the stick up your ass grinding?"

Ray grimaced at the mental picture, "Ew."

"Totally not gay." Santana affirmed aloud, she almost sounded disappointed.

He chose to brush off the comment and moved on to the real issue that he was concerned with, "My mother wants me to transfer back to my old school…-oooof!" Ray lurched forward as Santana slammed on the breaks.

"What?!"

"She thinks it would be safer and more productive for me to attend a school that caters to my… talent."

"Thank the fucking Lord."

"I'm sorry?"

"Look, Frodo. There's only so much that Puck and I can do to make sure those future has-beens don't wail on you. And you don't make it easy for us."

"I'm… sorry to be such an inconvenience."

"Shit. That isn't what I meant. I just- you're messing with the status quo. I don't know if Puck-" If I, she thought to herself, "would be able to handle the stains when the shit hits the fan."

"I'm not following."

"I'm a bitch because everybody else sucks and I'm not afraid to tell it like it is because people are afraid of me." Santana began to explain, "And they don't mess with Britt because of that. What helps is that she's popular. You don't have that security. And pretending to be Puck's long lost cousin isn't gonna go far, especially since Puck's been put on probation with the school."

"So you're saying that it's better if I go?"

"If you're not going to do something about…" She gestured to him, "… all that, then yeah."

"What am I supposed to do? Just pretend I'm not me?!" Ray snapped back, "I refuse to hide who I am."

"I'm not saying hide yourself, Frodo. I'm saying that high school is a stage. You need to show off your acting skills and make them see what they want to see, just to get by."

He shook his melancholically and admitted: "I don't think I could do that for three years, Santana."

"Then get the fuck out of here so we can all move on."

Ray blinked, realizing that Santana had stopped in front of his house, "…Thanks for the ride. I guess."

"Look, Berry. It's a tough time at McKinley, we all know that, no matter where we are on the pyramid. You can get through it with your head held high and your stupid sweaters doused in dyed ice. You can sell out and sell it by joining the football team or something. Or…" she shrugged, "Or you can go back to your little hide-y hole behind your mother's bitch face."

"Hey!"

"'s not a bad thing, chico. Hey, maybe you can learn a thing or two and get your own bitch face. It helps around here."

"…I don't know how I feel about these choices."

"Hey, why have someone play Devil's Advocate for you then you can consult Satan herself? 'Sides, who said anything about choices? You can do all three and create a whole new shit storm on your own terms."

Ray rolled his eyes but took the time before getting out of her car to share his gratitude. "Thanks, Santana."

"Whatevs, Berry. You still owe me some breadsticks." Santana quirked a small smile before putting her car back in drive. Ray was just about halfway to the door when Santana rolled down the passenger window and hollered, "See you tomorrow, Hobbs! Don't be late. Ain't nobody got time for that shit."

And with that she sped away. Ray grinned broadly when he realized that might have been Santana's way of saying that she wanted to see him tomorrow but that was something he would never try to confirm with her. He valued his life too much.

"Ray Redford Berry, dost mine eyes deceive me?"

The intrusion made Ray jump a little and when he turned around he found that speaker was his old friend Jesse. Jesse, his coiffed curls, gelled to perfection yet made to look as if it didn't take most of the morning to fix up. Ray touched his own hair self-consciously. Despite their rivalry, there was always a touch of inferiority when he compared himself to his Junior counterpart.

"Jesse Eugene St. James," he greeted warmly with just a bit of cheek.

Jesse's friendly veneer broke as he very nearly growled at the mention of his middle name

Raising his hands to signal a ceasefire, Ray pointed, "You used the middle name first, Jesse. I was merely retaliating."

"Fine. But after spending nearly an hour waiting in my car for you to get here only to have you come rolling in with a hot little Latina, I deserve a little break."

"'Hot little Latina…'" Ray echoed and then he grimaced, "She would destroy you if she heard you call her that. I apologize for being so rude, I have a lot on my mind."

Jesse shrugged indifferently, he didn't care about the girl but it was rude that his best friend would ignore his presence and he made his opinion on the subject known. "Is she your newest infatuation, Ray? Never thought you'd move on from the Girl-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Seriously though, I'm sure you could do better than her, she looks like my mother's future klepto-maid."

"You can say her name, Jesse. We're not five. And Santana's more than one of your twisted, elitist stereotypes." Ray might have believed that Santana Lopez was a cruel, outspoken, rude individual but she never deserved this kind of hate from someone that didn't even know her.

Jesse scrunched his face, hating when his best friend got all sensitive and PC. Still, he relented. After all, orders were orders. "Fine, fine. Your little girlfriend is nice and utterly gorgeous and is more than the blah blah stereotype box I, as a privileged white male, have no right to put her in… Can we go now?"

"Can you take this seriously? And no, she's not nice… She's also not my-" Ray paused as his brain caught up, "Go? Go where?"

"Vocal Adrenaline rehearsals? Shelby called me during class saying that you needed a ride."

"Oh yeah." He replied duly. All certainty he had in leaving gone as fast as Santana's speeding exit.

"Well?" Jesse intoned impatiently, "I'd like to get there in time for my solo."

Getting into the car, Ray sighed, his conversations with Shelby and Santana still lingering in his mind and tuning out Jesse's latest rant on how In the Heights was an affront to the Broadway stage.

He didn't even have the heart to argue vehemently.

Ray never expected a welcome wagon coming back to Carmel but the sight of his former peers' blinding showfaces was too much for him to stomach. They really did need to work on selling those because at the moment it looked like they wanted to kill him in his sleep.

"Oh my God, Ray!"

"You're alive!"

"It's so good to see you! Your voice has been missed dearly here."

"Definitely!"

The second biggest test to his acting abilities was happening here, the Vocal Adrenaline automatons were being faithfully obedient to whatever order their coach had given them before his arrival. Of course, some VA members were sorely lacking such abilities. The handshakes were tight to the point of pain. The hugs were too stiff and the smiles were too fake to make him feel comfortable.

"Alright guys!" Shelby called out from her place in the audience. She wasn't alone and Ray noted the young teen beside his mom with interest. She was almost as tall as Shelby, taller than him surely, and her features were soft despite having a practiced dour look planted on her face. She was a show-baby. "We have two guests sitting in on today's rehearsal. Ray may be joining our ranks again as you can see and he needs to catch up with our routines. And this is Harmony Andrews, she's a prospective recruit from Defiance Middle School."

The immediate tension rising up in the air reminded Ray why, in some ways, McKinley was a breath of fresh air. Jesse had treated him with much the same coldness when Shelby initially brought him to Carmel. This wasn't just a competition here. It was a bloodbath. He waved at her with a smile only to receive a hateful glare in return.

"Ray?" Shelby called out, "Come sit by Harmony."

Ray nodded and rushed off the stage so the club could resume practice. He seated himself to Harmony's right side, placing his right elbow on the rest so he could hold his head in his hand and observe both the rehearsal and the new girl simultaneously.

His pitch perfect hearing was attuned to the nearly pitch perfect show choir but he barely paid attention to their choreography. The pitch perfect shouts from his mother told him everything. Instead, he focused his mother's newest protégé. Harmony Andrews. She had striking eyes. They seemed to analyze everything. Her rigid posture signalling that she was ready to strike or at least backstab someone for a solo.

Straightforward and single-mindedly ambitious. That made her a perfect fit at Vocal Adrenaline. If she were anything like Natalie-

"Gerber baby." The new girl inserted it without prodding, the interruption made his head slip from his hand and he jerked his head up.

"….Bless you?"

Harmony huffed. "I was the Gerber baby. You were staring at my face so I assumed you were wondering where you'd seen it before. Now, you can stop staring."

She didn't leave Ray a chance to counter as her whole focus was once again on the show choir on stage. For the next hour or so he sat through the rehearsal with gritted teeth as Harmony made remarks about being a child star and how he gave up the opportunity of a lifetime by leaving Carmel.

The poor armrest he gripped to hide his increasing annoyance stood no chance. Still, he tried to devote the rest of his attention on the performance, as always, noting any weaknesses that his mother might have missed. His pitch perfect ear tuning out the snide remarks Harmony slid his way. He remembered what it was like before, Vocal Adrenaline were a proud bunch and they had little patience for the loudmouthed freshman even if he was Coach Corcoran's son. After a few weeks as co-captain, he gave up, instead proposing ideas and giving critiques through Jesse. It annoyed both his mother and his best friend and even now, he could feel his mother's side-glances and expectant looks.

She was never hesitant to give her opinion on their performance. Her opinions were harsh but honest. Not to the point of Coach Sylvester's level of cruelty but enough to crush your ego in shattered pieces. The stars knew how to take those shattered pieces and make themselves better with them.

The house was as empty and hollow as ever but still Quinn cherished the moments when she was alone. No father to barrel up and down the halls drunk and praising Fox news for their criticisms of the socialist president. No mother passed out on the couch or fussing over her weight and dresses. It was just her.

A double-edged sword, no doubt. Being home alone also meant that she was inevitably bound to hear from her toughest critic. Herself. She crossed the foyer quickly, avoiding the false smiles painted in each family photo. Of course, there were no pictures of her from before high school. No trace of Lucy to be found. And yet she was still there, everywhere that she wasn't. In that negative space.

Her room was safe enough, she thought as she placed her backpack down by her desk. The vanity was tucked into her walk-in closet and all other mirrors relegated to her bathroom. Just books and movies and Motown records her sister got for her while she was away for college. Her national cheerleading trophy on display along with the rush of gymnastics and dance medals, grossly overshadowing the spelling bee trophies and attendance awards that she received before. It was her space. Quinn's space. Lucy's space. Her room was a mash-up of both worlds she dared not show anyone else.

Her phone buzzed, she rolled her eyes at ID. Finn had texted and it was still barely legible even by normal text-speak standards. She told him not to get a touch screen phone but did he listen? No. So now she had to deal with translating the mistakes his Sasquatch sized hands and general laziness caused.

Sryl u cudnt hng ut 2day. C u tmrew

While he was a generally clueless boyfriend, he did have his moments. The moments that came few and far between used to make her smile. But the hunt was over and she had the boyfriend all the girls wanted. Now it felt like every little thing he did annoyed her. Santana told her once that it was normal but considering the circumstances, listening to Santana Lopez' advice alone wouldn't be the wisest thing to do.

Still, Quinn mused. Did having a boyfriend really mean being annoyed by spending time with him?

The question mulled over until Quinn couldn't take it anymore. Her choice to be away from him today didn't mean she wanted to spend the rest of her free afternoon thinking about why she didn't want to spend time with him. There was only one place to go when she wanted to escape her own thoughts. It was the one place no one in her social circle would be able to find her in.

The library.

"CUT!" Shelby shouted near the front of the stage, "Cut! Guys, this is just pathetic. Let's move on to the ballad. At least I won't have to see you're mediocre dancing bore me to death."

The piano began to play and as soon as the first few chords were struck, and for the first time since he got here, Ray smiled. Their particular selection for their ballad made him nostalgic.

"She can kill with a smile. She can wound with her eyes. She can ruin your faith with her casual lies. And she only reveals what she wants you to see…. She hides like a child but she's always a woman to me."

And just like that he was back in Freshman year, sitting where he was now… in complete wonder of a girl, more of a shadow now, that made him feel alive again for only a moment. But what a moment it was.

Natalie Bishop.

He could still see her clearly. Walking on stage with practiced timing made to look effortless. A single microphone placed centre stage waiting to come alive. He could still see her, her face clouded in darkness as the piano keys the intro and when the spotlight hit, everything began.

"She can lead you to love. She can take you or leave you… She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe. And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free. Yeah, she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me."

He could still see her caramel-coloured hair shine auburn under the beating light and the memory did make his heart ache a bit. Although they were friends now, impressing Natalie Bishop with superior vocal performances was almost a frequent (and heated) contest between him and Jesse. Ray sighed, remembering her mischievous smirk and her soft eyes. Like any future star, she enjoyed the attention. She was dedicated and relentless, driving him mad with her own drive for perfection. She saw something in him that she saw in herself, one of the reasons they bonded so well in the short time they had together.

A part of him was and always will be in complete awe of her star-power. Of who she would be. Of who she was now. She was the perfect co-star and both he and Jesse knew it. Maybe that's why they fought so hard for the chance to stand beside her as her leading man.

"Oh, she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time. Oh, and she never gives out. And she never gives in… She just changes her mind."

Ultimately she chose Jesse, only to leave a week later to go on tour with a Tony Award winning teen musical about sexual awakening. Neither Jesse nor Ray begrudged her for leaving. It was the chance of a lifetime.

Despite the drama, they understood, let bygones be bygones and wished her well. It was quite anti-climatic in Ray's opinion but he didn't mind the lack of dramatic flair in that instance. Regardless of the outcome, he could never forget her. The softness of her lips as they grazed his own after he begged her to pick him. The tears that stained his shirt when she begged him to take the part. To go with her. The feel of his own tears dripping down his face when he told her he couldn't. He wasn't ready.

"She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel. She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool. But she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree. And the most she will do is throw shadows at you. But she's always a woman to me…"

The ache was softer now. Less painful. And as the outro played a different memory appeared in his mind. One with a girl who had lighter, blonder hair whipping around with a spin. Always walking away from him with a chance that she would look back, guarded eyes that challenged his own to see her for who she really was passed the walls she put up. A shy smile after revealing something as embarrassing as snorting laughter. Not even two weeks and he couldn't get her out of her mind. So much for learning a lesson.

"She'll bring out the best and the worst you can be… Blame it all on yourself because she's always a woman to me."

A sharp poke to his shoulder broke his reverie, he turned to see Harmony's face, contorted in annoyance as she whispered, "Could you please stop humming?"

"Pardon?" he replied dumbly.

"You've been humming throughout this whole number!" Harmony pointed out loudly, garnering the attention of Shelby and the other VA singers. "

I don't squander grand opportunities like Vocal. Adrenaline." Her eyes burned with contempt and condemnation, or at least they tried to.

"First of all, I'm sorry that I bothered your viewing of their performance but frankly, judging by your awe-filled expression, you didn't catch that Gabrielle threw the whole performance off because her belting made it difficult for their voices to blend. Or that Adrienne's singing sounded forced because she was dry heaving before rehearsal. Or that Jesse was using too much vibrato for his part in the chorus because he's competing with the others even though he has no lead." Harmony was gobsmacked but Ray was in no mood to stop now that his tirade had begun. Two in one day was definitely his record. "Secondly? I didn't squander anything. My reasons for leaving Carmel and VA are my own, and I don't need to explain myself to you. And if I come back… guess what? My reasons would still be none of your business."

He got up and stomped away, his mother beaming with pride as he marched up to the stage. "You guys heard me! I may not be on the team anymore and I may not have been the best co-captain when I was but I still know music… and I know how to put on a show. That mess that just happened right now? Pathetic. Run through it again and this time do it right."

As a freshman in Vocal Adrenaline, Ray would have never spoken to his fellow teammates and upperclassmen with such tenacity but he was so sick and tired of feeling so powerless. He was sick of feeling like he had no voice. Music was special. Glee was special. And being part of something special made you special. And whatever he decided, he needed to stop letting other people be the only ones fighting for him.

***** Aaaaaaand that's all for now folks! I've had that chapter mostly written for a long time. I have an outline for the next couple of chapters so hopefully it doesn't take as long :D

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