Day Four: Voyeur

Giggling, the Joker put the binoculars to his eyes and looked through them again, squinting at the apartment across the alleyway. Cat-thing still hadn't noticed the Bat standing in the corner. He was lurking in the shadows by her door, and she was pulling off her skin-tight costume, squirming as she slipped it over her bra, and wiggling it off her legs. The Joker tried to suppress a laugh at the thought of the Bat watching him change. He'd probably let him, and would taunt him about it later.

Catwoman, though, was blissfully unaware of the bat and the clown as she took off her underwear (the Joker dropped to the ground in silent laughter) and slipped into pajamas. She bent over, and the Joker was pretty sure he saw Batman eying the visible skin.

Batman said something and stepped out of the shadows. Cat-lady turned and took a step forward, crossing her arms. The Joker flipped on his headset, so he could listen to their conversation.

"... Scare a girl. How long have you been there?"

"Long enough."

Catwoman turned away, stooping over again. Of course she didn't think Batman had watched her naked. She thought Batman was perfect.

He'd thought that too, on top of the ferris wheel. He'd thought it as Batman carried him down, and then, he'd clearly remembered something important.

"Are you alright?"

"It just occurred to me that you've spent the past week robbing banks."

"Ah. That." Which was how he'd ended up back in Arkham. Batman had apologized, then adopted a more flirtatious air, which involved telling him that it was his own fault.

"Darling, you could have stopped me at any time."

"A-self control," Batman coughed.

Of course, it had only taken Joker a few days to break out, and he'd spent all of his time since then spying on Batman. But this was the Bat's first trip to Cat-lady's house, and he had to say, he was pretty excited. He was pretty sure they were going to... do stuff. Lots of stuff. And he was equal parts interested and intrigued.

"Honey," Catwoman was saying. "I have no idea wh-"

They stepped out of his microphones range. Disappointed, the Joker pressed the binoculars harder against his eyes.

Batman had his arms crossed and looked stoic, almost chilly- unmoving. Catwoman touched his chin and walked in a circle behind him.

I wonder if she's figured out he was watching her change?

The two figures got tangled up for a minute, Batman's cold presence vanishing. Then he shoved her away and said something, looking agitated. Catwoman took a step away from him, and shouted loudly enough that the Joker could hear her.

"Like hell it is!"

"Selina, I-" He said something quietly.

"What kind of slut do you think I am?"

The Joker turned off the headset. He was beginning to feel like he was intruding.

"I know what you've been getting up to! It's a shame I had to hear it from Red Hood and not you! Him! Of call people!"
"Selina-"

She slapped him across the face. "Get the hell out of my house!"

Oooh. The Joker watched eagerly as Batman clambered out onto the fire escape.

"No! Fuck you! You're using the goddamn door!"

She yanked Batman in by his cape, half-dragged him across the room, and shoved him out of her door. Panting, she locked it, and headed over to do the same to her window. Along her way, she managed to pick up two cats.

The Joker dropped his binoculars when he realized she was looking directly at him, and waved nervously.

She waved back, then lifted her middle finger, and yanked the curtains closed.

The Joker sighed. Sometimes, Batman really was perfect.

And, he reminded himself. Currently single.