So, this happened... Ahaha, yeeaaah.
From the very moment I laid my eyes on her, I knew it was her.
The music was mellow and provided the background noise as they guest chatted away. Women laughed politely, men stood tall and proud and everyone looked dignified in their attire. The evening was proceeding as planned there had not been a single thing gone wrong. It would be described as a perfect night by the guests once it was over, the lights turned off and the ballroom left in empty silence. There was a standard to uphold and once the next royal ball would begin, nothing less would be expected by the guests.
All faces were well known and learned, some more respected than others and some more beautiful than the rest. Personality was a forgotten trait while looks, manners, bloodlines and fortune were what mattered in the life of the rich and royals. It was nothing new, per say, but there was a breeze of fresh air that night and it was welcomed like food was to a starving man.
Wearing wine red as the only one in a sea of shades of blue, purple, green, grey and black, she stood by herself while her glance moved from face to face. Her dress was not grand nor a portrayal of her wealth or bloodline, but simple, tasteful and beautiful on her frame. Her dark brown, curly hair fell down her bare shoulders and framed her face. It was her simplicity in the middle of a room of grandness and perfection which made her so beautiful while standing in her solitude.
People knew she was there. This beautiful, unknown woman in wine red who hadn't said a single word in the time she had been standing there and no one had spoken to her, but they knew she was there. The women glanced at her, evaluating her from head to toe while the men glanced at her for much more private reasons.
But I knew who she was and I had been waiting for her.
I hadn't hesitated to seek her out and my heart had fluttered like a baby bird when she looked at me with her wide, brown eyes. I knew from the beginning she was mistaking me for someone else but it didn't bother me the slightest. I was a patient man after all and since I had waited ten years, I could wait a few more minutes. I kept my secret hidden away while finding her warm hand. Pulling her closer to me, grasping her hand and finding her hip with my other hand felt like the most natural thing in the world. I could feel her pulse race once I started to lead her around the floor. Seeing her concentrated expression made me smile and once the singer made the lyrics come alive, it felt as if we were the only two people in the room.
People were looking at us out of the corner of their eyes, some women out of jealousy because they hadn't been asked to the floor yet, but I didn't care. All my attention went to her while we moved in our own, secluded world. When she looked at me again, a faint hue of red had tinted her cheeks and I wanted to steal her away that very moment. I was usually never selfish but when it came to her, all my usual personality traits seemed to change or disappear. She would probably never know or realize it unless I told her, or so I believed until she asked her question.
I let out a small breath as I relived the feeling of having her that close to me. Despite having a good amount of self-control, I had nearly slipped but I couldn't get myself to regret it. My glance moved up and studied the night sky, the stars seeming to clear and bright tonight. It was something I could never get tired of looking at, ever-changing and beautiful but unreachable.
Was I a fool to think that it reminded me of her?
''Jan?''
I straightened my shoulders while turning around as I reacted to my name being called. I felt myself relax again and took a quick breath when I saw who it was. Then I smiled softly.
''I thought you had gone to bed.'' I smiled and let my glance rest on her.
She was still wearing her dress and a sweet smile on her lips as she stepped out on the balcony and into the night air. I watched as she moved next to me with graze and gentle movements, looking nervous. Her eyes found mine in the silence and once again, we were back in our own little world.
''I was planning to but I couldn't find you. I wanted to thank you for earlier.'' She smiled.
She had a natural calm about her, like the sea before a storm, and I felt drawn to her. I wanted her close to me again, feel her pulse react to my presence and her eyes to never leave mine.
''You don't have to thank me for a dance. It was my pleasure nonetheless.'' I smiled and watched as she let out a small breath before her glance moved upwards. She leaned against the balcony railings while her eyes watched the night sky. I reluctantly forced my eyes off her and followed suit, letting mine move back to the darkness above us.
''It's quite beautiful tonight.'' I hummed without moving my gaze.
''It really is. Watching the night sky is never something I'll get tired off.'' She smiled and a pleasant silence followed. I listened to her calm breathing and the sounds of the night and was about to close my eyes, hoping to regain some control of my racing pulse, when she spoke again. ''Do you ever wonder if you're someone's most important person?''
The question caught me off guard and while thinking of something to say, I looked back at her. She looked solemn while pondering over her own thoughts but her expression switched to a much more content one.
''If we had never been brought up to serve someone else, we could probably have lived a more normal life and not worry about trivial matters like serving tea the correct way or how to stand up straight for hours if necessary. We could have been someone's most beloved by now, someone's treasure…'' Her voice sounded so fragile and full of sadness while her eyes stared longingly at the stars.
I wanted to bring my arms around her and draw her close to me, never intending to let her go, but instead, I glanced upwards again while letting out a soft sigh. I let my eyes stay there for a second or two before letting them return to study her profile.
''Have you ever considered that you might already be all this to someone?'' Her glance met mine and I couldn't help but smile softly. ''We might not be in the most promising position to achieve all of this but I do still believe that love finds a way. It's once you give up and think that you've not achieved anything, that it truly becomes hard.''
She let out a small breath while smiling and looking down. ''That's what you said the last time, Jan.'' She looked back at me and her smile widened once she saw the relief wash over my face.
It was the words I had been waiting to hear.
''I thought you had forgotten me.'' I smiled and let my hand cup her cheek while she looked at me in such a soft way that I thought my hearth would stop beating.
''Come on now, as if I would ever forget the boy whose first kiss I stole.'' She laughed softly and it was like music to my ears. She leaned her head against my hand while hers moved up to cover mine. ''I just needed a little time to find all of my memories from that summer.'' She spoke while turning to me. ''You've grown a lot.''
''I believe that you still owe me a dance for that.'' I chuckled and felt my whole body warm up from the memories. ''And you've grown into quite a beautiful woman yourself.'' I smiled, heath tingling in my cheeks despite the slightly cold night air. It was easy to be honest with her.
''Charming as ever.'' She smiled and was about to look away but my hand kept her face towards mine.
''I'm not merely flattering you of out politeness. I mean every single word I've said to you tonight.'' Her hand grasped mine softly as I spoke and her glance wavered from mine. ''I'm always honest with you. Always have been and always will be, please don't forget that.'' I breathed and drew her close to me, so tempted to steal a kiss like she had done ten years ago.
''We're not teenagers anymore, Jan, but all the things I said back then, I still mean those. There was a reason why I never forgot about you.'' Her voice was nothing but a whisper and it made me shudder. ''Dance with me.''
I closed my eyes and smiled. It was the same request she had made back then and once again, I wasn't about to say no to her. Without a word, I moved and brought her with me to the middle of the balcony. I drew her closer to me, much closer than one normally would, and she accepted my embrace without any hesitation. Her hand found mine while our others moved to their places and we started to move in unison. I didn't need to music to find my rhythm, it was a natural thing, always had been, and she followed my lead with a soft hum.
''You've improved greatly.'' I chuckled and leaned closer to her.
''I had a great teacher back then.'' She smiled and looked up at me. ''Quite a natural. All the girls envied me because I had him as my dance partner.''
''Really? Now I believe that you're exaggerating my abilities back then.'' I chuckled and let her twirl around before bringing her close to me again.
''Definitively not. A lot of the girls were fond of you, Jan. You've always been such a perfect gentleman and polite. You always knew when to say the right things and when to smile, even as a fifteen year-old.'' She sighed softly and her eyes met mine again. ''I'm just glad that I got some alone time with you back then and had you as my dance partner.''
I let out a soft breath. ''Actually, I asked the teacher if I could have you as my partner. I didn't want to watch you dance with any of the other boys.'' I smiled a bit bashful, seeing as I had just reviled her once of my secrets. ''The alone time with you was no coincidence, just like the dance we had earlier, I wanted all of that to happen so I made sure it did.''
A silence fell between us as we moved, her dress swaying every time we did a turn. I knew something was wrong. She would only fall silent whenever there was something wrong. Despite knowing this, I didn't stop. If she had anything to say or ask, she would once she knew how to put it.
''And here I was, afraid and having sleepless nights because I thought you had surely forgotten about me.'' She laughed softly while looking down.
I studied her expression dance between joy and sadness. She had always been hard for me to read, unlike most other people, and her expressions could be a complete puzzle to me. The way she was looking now was no different and it made me stop. My hands moved to frame her face and I gently made her look up at me again. Her wide, wet eyes mine met mine and it felt like a blow to the stomach seeing her like this.
''Lena…'' I murmured her name and watched as she closed her eyes when I did. Her cheeks were red and she let out a shaky breath. ''I may not have seen you for ten years, but I knew it was you the moment I saw you standing there. Don't ask me how but I just did. Never think that I have or will forget you, because I most definitively never will.'' I smiled as I watched her react to my honest words. A tear fell down her cheek but it was quickly wiped away by my thumb. ''Please stop crying. I've missed your smile.'' I murmured and leaned my forehead against hers. She was trembling ever so softly in my embrace while she struggled with the tears.
I knew the thoughts she was talking about. I knew how it felt to lie awake at night, left to wonder about everything you've done and all the things you never did. I knew how much hurt you could make yourself feel and how easy it was to blind oneself from what really happened. I had kept myself from being fooled by my own wicked thoughts, relishing myself with the sweet memories of her and that summer which had quite possibly changed my life.
''If I told you that I love you, would you let me?'' I had closed my eyes and asked in a whisper in what felt like an endless night.
''I've been waiting to hear you say that.'' Her voice shook faintly but I could hear the smile in it.
''Then, I love you. I've loved you ever since we danced the last time.'' I whispered while moving slightly and felt my pulse race from saying the words I had been carrying around with me for ten years.
''I love you too.'' She whispered softly and tipped her head upwards.
Our lips met then.
On the balcony of the royal castle as the last two guests still attending the royal ball, we kissed like it was the most natural thing to do. We drew apart to catch air and our lips reunited again. I moved my arms around her and drew her close up against me. I needed her there to know this was real and not just another fantasy spawning in dreams. Her arms moved around me and she let out a soft breath against my lips before they found each other again. I wanted the night to be endless. I wanted the sun to never rise again so we could stay here forever.
I wanted so much in that very moment but I had what was most important to me. Truly.