I know, I know these Author's Notes are really damn annoying, but... It's really important.
My life is so fucking messed up right now, it's not, and never ever will be funny. I've tried reading jokes, talking to friends, and even other things that I can't and won't explain. My life sucks. And I know it won't get better. Because my life is so fucking messed up, that nothing will get better. My 2 recent posts on Facebook:
1. Why can't life be harmless and not stupid? Why can't life be full of people who care not about themselves, but about their family and friends? Instead, life is filled with assholes, and life is stupid.
I know nobody's perfect, and life doesn't always go the way you want... But sometimes life is just a heck of a lot easier when there aren't so many stupid reckless people out there.
Right now, (my name), is feeling... Angry, irritated, pissed, sad, annoyed, confused, depressed, overwhelmed, and miserable. But mainly confused and depressed.
2. "Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare." ― Ned Vizzini
"I feel like a defective model, like I came off the assembly line flat-out fucked and my parents should have taken me back for repairs before the warranty ran out."
― Elizabeth Wurtzel
I'm not posting this for sympathy, so don't get me even more depressed or mad than I am right now, or you seriously will never hear from me again. In a really super bad way.
I'm done. I just can't do this anymore. I can't live. There's not enough motive for me to go on any longer.
"Every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn, just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song. Though it's been a while now, I can still feel so much pain. Like a knife that cuts you, the wounds heal, but that scar- that scar remains."
Shit I feel so worthless right now. I'm gonna post one more chapter for GLC: Our Future, but then I'm taking a break until I feel better. Which will take a while. Because like I said before, 'Like a knife that cuts you, the wounds heal, but that scar- that scar remains.' So it's gonna take a while. It will never ever get better, but I will still post chapters. Just not for a while. I'll still read reviews and PM you guys.
"These four walls
They whisper to me
They know a secret
I knew they would not keep
It didn't take long
For the room to fill with dust
And these four walls came down around us
It must have been something to send me out of my head
With the words so radical and not what I meant
Now I wait
For a break in the silence 'cause it's all that you left
Just me and these four walls again
It's hard now to let you be
I won't make excuses
I've made my peace
It didn't take long
For me to lose the trust
'Cause these four walls
Were not strong enough
It must have been something to send me out of my head
With the words so radical and not what I meant
Now I wait
For a break in the silence 'cause it's all that you left
Just me and these four walls again
Yeah
It's difficult
Watching us fade
Knowing it's all my fault
My mistake
Yeah, and it's difficult
Letting you down
Knowing it's all my fault
You're not around
It must have been something to send me out of my head
With the words so radical and not what I meant
Now I wait
For a break in the silence 'cause it's all that you left
Just me and these four walls again"
'Four Walls' by Miley Cyrus. Explains so much right now.
I'm sorry to be saying this bullshit, and being like this. It's just. This is somewhere where I have a fake name, being 'Hi My Name Is Bubbly Bubbles' isn't my real name, and I can express my feelings without someone I know being like "Oh shut up, your life rocks. You have it all." Which I don't... And saying things like "Oh honey, it's okay." AND IT'S NOT OKAY!
Wow. It's came down to me explaining my feelings to strangers. That's low and just proves I have no life, and no friends. Another reason to not continue my life. Shit, am I seriously saying this? Oh well, it doesn't matter.
And my life is so fucking messed up right now, because someone I dearly love to death, is drinking herself away, her kidneys are shutting down, and she's basically dying. I've known her all my life, she was there the day I was born. No it's not my mom. And my life is just a piece of shit right now. A nice big pile of shit. Yup. Picture a HUGE pile of shit. That's my life.
Well, that's an update on MY stupid, shitty, pointless, dumb life. How's yours?
I'll post one more chapter for GLC: Our Future, and I'm taking a break.
Bye. I don't even care if you review. WOW, I seriously must be messed up if I'm not asking for reviews...
It would make me feel better, but there's no way I can even have the strength to ask. So I won't.
Bye.