Author's Note: Okay to be honest I'm not really expecting that there will be reviews. Anyway, this chapter is not the one that you've been asking but I hope it will do for now. This is in Rin's point of view.
The first time I met him I feel I could freeze by his cold stare and I was nervous when his father told us that he wants us to be married. I can't imagine to be married to a totally handsome and cold creature. I first thought it will not last because of the invisible wall he made between himself and the world but I was wrong. As I spend time with him I see many things other than his cold façade and blunt words. Those moments when his eyes will soften when I look at him, his worry face when he since there is something wrong, his angry face when I accidentally do something stupid and hurt myself and his peaceful sleeping face when he arrive tired from work.
Those moments that I slowly treasure and without me noticing it I am already in love with him. I want to please him, to make him acknowledge me and notice me. I tried my best to be a good wife to him but he never touches me even during the first night of our marriage. I realize it was hopeless when I see many beautiful women keeps chasing him even though they know he is married to me. They are all beautiful compare to me who is plain and have no asset to be proud off or wealth to show off. I close my eyes in frustration and can feel hot moisture of water in the corner of my eyes.
I can feel no movement on the other side and during this time of the night when I silently cry. It is during in this time of night I long to be embraced, to be locked in his strong arms, to be kiss and feel love by him. Tears start to fall from my eyes as I silently try to hold my sobs not wanting to wake him up. I feel so hopeless and alone. I don't know if he notice my fake smile or my frequent attempt to show my feelings to him but I guess it's impossible since he tend to brush it away or paid no mind to it. Every time it happens my heart aches and tears often threat to fall but I have to remain strong but I can't help but hope that in his heart even just a slightest chance for me. I close my eyes as I think of these thoughts.
I am standing in a void full of darkness until I see a light that looks like window and before I knew it I am standing in our hallway. Then I see him, my husband walking toward the door, I notice something is wrong. Is he leaving? Then I see my other me standing just a feet away, I'm crying then it struck me, his leaving me. He keeps walking toward the door without looking back; without stopping. My heart clench, it hurts, I tried to stop him but my hand just passes through him. There is no way I could stop him, I can't reach him, why? I look at him with tears streaming on my cheeks.
'Please turn back, please turn back and look at me,' my mind keeps pleading. 'Even just a glance, please.'
I want to shout but I can't. I can't bear to look at him leaving me. I shut my eyes and feel the darkness envelope me.
I gasp as I woke up, it was only a dream. I touch my cheek and feel it's wet. I've been crying while I dream but it feels so real. What if he really is planning to leave me? What should I do? I don't want him leave, I want him to stay. A stream of hot tears started to flow out from my eyes. I tried to suppress my sobs not wanting to wake the other person sleeping. It hurts so much that I can feel my hear shattering. What should I do?
It's the same morning as always but the dream keeps flooding back to me. I put an extra effort in hiding my sadness in my smile as we eat our breakfast, I'm just thankful that he did not say anything as I keep quiet. Our breakfast is finish and this is the time of the day that I hate the most; leaving me in this house alone. I always hate it but today it's accompanied by hesitation, I want him not to go but my throat seems dry as I look at his back. He is about to leave, my heart ache with worry. What if he will not return? What if my dream is true? Maybe he will not return today? No, I need to stop him; I don't want him to leave but how. I want to stop him but my feet is rooted on its place, I want to cry.
'Please don't leave,' my mind shouted.
He turns back to me as if he heard my silent pleas and I can tell he is confuse, maybe he read my worries in my face. His eyes soften a bit as he close the distance between us. I smell his masculine musk, his silver hair hang steadily on his back as he lifted his claw hand to touch my cheek. I'm shock but the warmth of his palm against my cheek calms me down as I hold his hand, he never touches me like this before. It washed all my worries, I close my eyes to enjoy this moment and before I knew it I am kissing his cheek. I feel embarrass and frighten that he will get angry. I feel his hand moving, his going to push me away. Before he could do anything I quickly broke the contact and hurriedly left.
When I reach our room I close it and lean on the door. I touch my lips and blushed. I notice that the ribbon that holds my hair is gone; maybe it fell due to my panic. But I can't believe that I did it. What should I do when he returns? But I feel lighter somehow; I was able to show my feelings to him even just for a short time.
Author's Note: I would really hope that you will not raise your hope for a happy ending for this story since I'm a kind of person who loves to do things in my own pace and please don't hate me for that. Anyway I really appreciate for reading this chapter and for the reviews. I'm really grateful for your thoughts and encouragement, even though I always make mistakes. That's why I'm thankful for you guys.