Deacon seemed in good spirits the next day. We headed to Sound Check for rehearsal and to meet with my manager, Bucky, to go over tour details and plan out the set lists. My drummer's sister Haley was there to watch Maddie. She had taken on the role of tour nanny for me since I'd had Maddie. Maddie adored Haley, which was great, and it allowed Deacon and me to do what we needed to do on the tour and also to have some alone time.

I sat at the table waiting for Bucky. I could see Haley with Maddie over in a corner, reading her a story. I smiled to myself seeing Maddie happy and occupied. Maddie had always been a serious child, well-behaved and pretty adaptable. I had stayed off the road almost a year after she was born. Not only did I want to have time to learn to be a mama, but I thought it was important for Deacon and me to have quiet time to heal our relationship and for him to work through all the emotions that came with finding out Maddie was his daughter. I didn't plan on taking as much time off after this baby came. I hoped he or she would be as easy as Maddie had been.

Dr. Norris had told me that every pregnancy was different and so far, that was true for me. I had amazingly only had a couple weeks of morning sickness with this one, compared with almost my first trimester with Maddie. I actually felt really good and more energetic, so I felt very confident about being able to do this tour. Dr. Norris had given her approval, so long as I took naps and didn't overdo, but my plan was for us to tour up through my seventh month and then I was willing to take a break. Bucky and Deacon were both a little hesitant, but it was my decision and I felt good about it.

I watched Deacon as he worked with some of the band members. I was glad to have him leading my band and being my partner. I knew that many people thought, since he was technically my employee, that I called all the shots and that he was not my equal. But I relied on him for everything and he always had an equal say in what we did and how we did it. He was truly a partner.

I smiled as I watched him. As I focused on his hands on the guitar, showing one of the other guitar players a riff sequence, I thought about those hands teasing me that morning. Sliding over my breasts, tweaking my nipples, then running his fingers down over my stomach, pausing briefly to spread his hand over me, then moving down between my legs. I felt that warm tingle as I remembered him sliding his fingers inside me, taking his time with me, making my toes curl with the need for release. I remembered begging him to let me come, but he continued to tease, until finally he covered me with his body and entered me.

"Hey, Rayna," Bucky said as he sat down next to me.

I exhaled slowly, startled out of my daydreams. I wondered if my face had turned red. "Oh, hey, Buck," I said, trying to gain control over my emotions. Although Bucky was just ten years older than me, he had always seemed kind of fatherly and it felt a little like my father had just caught me doing something naughty.

Bucky smiled and winked. "You look like you were deep in thought."

I shrugged and looked away. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Bucky looked up towards the stage. "Hey, Deacon!" he called out. Deacon turned towards us and gave a nod of recognition to Bucky. "I've got some updates," he went on. Deacon took his guitar off and walked down to where we were sitting. He took the chair opposite me. Bucky pulled out some papers. "So, I've got good news. Every venue has sold out." He looked between the two of us and smiled.

That was good news. I smiled. "Great! I knew that curiosity would get people to buy tickets." Deacon frowned at me.

Bucky shook his head. "I still think you could cut this tour a few weeks short and we'd be more than fine." Deacon nodded his agreement. This had been a battle we'd had since I found out I was pregnant. We were already cutting the tour short as it was and they wanted me to do even less dates.

I rolled my eyes. "Look, y'all, I'm fine. My doctor says I'm fine. I don't know why y'all are so worried. I already said I would stand still while I sing." I flipped my hand at them. "If Wynonna Judd can tour eight months pregnant, so can I." I saw their looks. "And I'm not touring in my eighth month. Calm down. Besides, I worked the last time I was pregnant."

Bucky shook his head. "You were working on an album, Rayna, not a tour." He sighed. "You don't have to do this. You're in excellent shape financially and your fans would definitely understand."

"No. My fans want to see me. Even big and pregnant, they want to see me. Maybe even because of that, I don't know, but I do this for them. I'm already taking time off when I really should be touring, so I want to do this as long as I can." I could see the concerned looks and I understood, but it was my call. "I promise, I'll tell y'all if I feel like I can't do it, but right now, we're moving ahead as planned." I crossed my arms and looked at each of them firmly.

Deacon ran a hand over his face and gave me that look that said he was giving in, but he wasn't happy about it. "I'm going to keep a close eye on you," he said.

I smiled at him. "Oh, I know you will," I said with a wink. He glared at me and I just kept on smiling.

"Well, ok then, let's rehearse," Bucky said. And we did.

The bus left early one morning headed for Boston, where we were starting the tour. When Haley took Maddie to the little enclosed bunk we had for her so that she could take a nap, Deacon and I took advantage of the time and headed for our room at the back of the bus. We quickly and hungrily undressed each other and then Deacon had his way with me, as Tandy called it. And then after an intense, heavy make out session, he had his way with me again.

I laid back against the pillows, breathing hard. Deacon lay on his side next to me. He put his hand on my stomach and spread his fingers over it. At nearly fifteen weeks, I already felt huge. But Deacon had been fascinated by everything about my changing body. It was hard not to think about being pregnant with Maddie. Teddy had not been as interested, probably because he knew she wasn't his. I know it had to have been a strange feeling for him to watch me get bigger with someone else's baby.

Deacon leaned down to kiss me and I smiled at him. He looked at me carefully and I thought I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes. I wondered what he was thinking. "Tell me about when you were pregnant with Maddie," he said quietly.

Ah, there it was. We really hadn't talked much about it, but ever since the day I'd come home wearing new maternity clothes, I could tell he was working that over in his head. He'd been going to extra meetings and he had seemed more thoughtful. He'd spent more time running his hands over my body, particularly my breasts and stomach, as though he wanted to memorize their changing shape.

I reached up and ran my hand through his hair, then settled it on top of his hand where it lay on my stomach. "What do you want to know?"

He worked his lip for a moment. "Um, how did it feel, how did you feel, that kind of thing."

I smiled. "Well, in the beginning I was so sick, not like this time. I felt terrible. But once that was past, it was really wonderful. At least until towards the end, when I just felt fat and huge." I made a face.

He took a deep breath. "Did you always know she was mine?"

Tears stung my eyes as I looked at him. I could see the pain there. I nodded. "I always knew it. In my heart. Teddy and I had always used protection, so I was sure."

He looked away and hitched his breath. "Did you…did you want to tell me?"

I nodded, as tears rolled down the side of my face. "I actually tracked you down at the cabin. After you'd left rehab. I wanted to tell you. But, you know, Tandy was with me and you were pretty wasted when we got there. And she talked me out of it. I was really scared, Deacon."

He nodded. I could see the tears streaking his face and then he turned and looked back at me. "I'm so sorry," he said, his voice almost a whisper.

I shook my head and reached for him to pull him close to me. "No. I'm sorry. I wish I had been stronger then."

"No, Ray, you were right to do that. I was a drunk. I couldn't have done it then. I wish it hadn't had to be that way, but it was." He held me tightly.

"I wish I could make it up to you, Deacon, somehow. I wanted you with me every day back then."

He lifted his head and kissed me softly on the lips. Then he put his hand back on my stomach. "This is how you're making it up to me. Not that you needed to do that. But this feels right."

I nodded. "It is right. All of this is right." I turned on my side. He reached his hand down my thigh and pulled my leg up over his hip, then slid into me. I groaned. "Oh, God, babe, that feels so amazing," I murmured and let myself give in to the sensations and how good doing this felt.

Afterwards, as we were laying wrapped up in each other's arms and legs, he asked, a little hesitantly, "So, uh, what about sex?"

I laughed at his discomfort in asking. "I hope to keep having it every day until this baby comes," I said.

He looked at me and his eyes widened. "Really?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah. I wanted it every single day when I was pregnant with Maddie." I looked away for a moment. "Didn't get it, but I wanted it."

"You didn't?"

I shook my head. "No. He wasn't really interested. I just took care of myself when it got to the point where I really needed it." I looked up at him and smiled. "And I imagined being with you."

It turned out that touring pregnant took more out of me than I had expected. I didn't have one of those high-powered shows with a lot of dancing and moving around the stage anyway, but even standing relatively in place wasn't as easy as that sounded. I had forgotten how hot the lights could be and, in my condition, I felt hotter than normal. We had to build in a short intermission so that I could change, since I seemed to sweat more than normal. Deacon hovered more and that started to annoy me, so we fought more.

We were five weeks into the tour, in Cincinnati, when I snapped. As was typical, our second encore was "Postcard from Mexico." Because it was a call-and-response song with Deacon, we had a little back and forth. I could feel a drop of perspiration run down my face and I could tell he'd seen it too. He frowned. It felt hotter than normal; had they turned off the damn fans? We finished the song and I turned and waved to the audience, then headed off the stage.

As soon as we had cleared the side stage, Deacon was practically on top of me. "Rayna, are you ok?" he asked. He put his hand on the small of my back.

I whirled around to face him. "Where the fuck are the fans? Or did they put heaters out there by mistake?" I was shouting and everyone backstage turned to stare. Deacon looked shocked by my outburst and I could see him clench his jaw. I wasn't really mad at him, but I had no one else to take my frustration out on. "It's not like I don't have my very own personal heater right here" – I formed a circle with my hands right over my stomach – "so I don't get why no one can get the damn fan thing right!" I threw my arms up and stalked off towards the bus.

Thank God the bus driver had the engine going and the air conditioning on. I sat down in the very first row and picked up the hem of my top, waving it back and forth to generate a breeze. I could see that Deacon sat in the row across from me. I didn't look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me. No one, not even Bucky, said a word to me as they got on the bus. I leaned back and closed my eyes until we finally got to the hotel. I was having a major diva dip and I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't do this often and usually I could snap out of it quickly, but I was so uncomfortable anyway and all I had asked for was plenty of fans to keep me reasonably cool onstage. How hard was that to manage? I just couldn't let it go. I found myself getting annoyed all over again.

I knew I was being childish and I was treating Deacon badly when it wasn't his fault. I was tired and I was cranky and I was hot as hell. When we got to the hotel, we rode up the elevator in silence. I knew I needed to say something to him, but now I was embarrassed and what I really wanted to do was cry. We got to our suite and I immediately went to the door that led to the adjoining room where Haley and Maddie were. I blew past Haley without a word and went into the room where my daughter was sleeping.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake her. The light coming in from the other room was enough so that I could see her little body rise and fall rhythmically as she slept. She was wearing her favorite pink baby doll pajamas, her long dark hair spread out against her pillow. Just sitting beside her watching her breathe was calming. I reached out and touched her hand very softly. I was glad she was such a sound sleeper.

Just then a shadow crossed in front of the light. I turned and Deacon was standing there watching me watching Maddie. I knew he was worried about me and I felt tears prick at my eyelids. He walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I sighed and reached up to grasp his hand. He wrapped his fingers over mine and squeezed, then helped me stand up. I reached for him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing myself against him. He ran his hands over my back, resting his chin on my head. Finally he stepped back, took my hand and led me back to our room, nodding at Haley as we walked past her.

When we got back to our room and Deacon had locked the door, he turned to look at me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I whispered, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and walked over to me. "Let's just take a shower," he said and he reached for the hem of my top and pulled it up and over my head. Then he pulled my pants down over my stomach and slid them down my legs. He put his fingers in the waistband of my panties and slid them down as well and I stepped out of them. After he removed my bra, he started to unbutton his own shirt, but I pushed his hands away and finished doing it and pushed his shirt off his chest and then slid it off him. I unbuckled his belt, then unzipped his pants. He helped me slide them down and then he took off his boxers. Taking my hand, we walked into the bathroom and he started a shower. As we stood waiting for the water to heat up, he leaned down and kissed me gently. In the shower, he soaped us both up and carefully ran the soap sponge over my body, holding my gaze the entire time, not saying a word. He was gentle and sweet and I felt so undeserving.

When we were done and he had wrapped me in a towel and dried me off, then himself, he led me, still without words, to the bed. He helped me in, then laid down next to me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me softly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his kisses until they got more insistent. His hands wandered over me, teasing me in the ways he knew I loved best and I moaned into his mouth with pleasure and with my increasing need. Finally he turned me the way he wanted and pushed into me and the diva dip was finally forgotten.

The last thing I remembered was him whispering, "One thousand, eight hundred and seventy nine."