Author's Note: Hey everyone. Kind of a shorter chapter this time around as this was my day off, but my boy and I had to go to a birthday party. And now I'm tired because I've been up for nearly twenty four hours at this point. I think the chapter after this may be the last chapter, but I'm not totally sure yet. Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows. Hope you like this chapter.
Chapter Five
After a few hours holed up in his room, Chihiro finally gathered his courage and a laptop bag with the coat stuffed inside and swept out into the hallway. He was dressed a bit more presentable than before, in a pair of khaki shorts and the oversized, grey sweater from the morning. He patted down his hair and glanced carefully through the dim, red hallway. There was no one around. It was midday now, so he assumed that those who were still affected by a horrendous hang over had gone to take a nap, and others were keeping busy around the academy. Hopefully no one came creeping out of their room soon.
Scattering down the hallway, Chihiro kept his bag close to his hip, his trebling hands wrapping tightly around the handle. He had pondered all day about what he was going to say to Mondo to attempt to fix their detrimental mistake last night. His mistake. Technically Mondo had done nothing wrong, except for make incredibly aggressive moves in Chihiro's directions. Ones he didn't really counter, and actually welcomed eagerly. It was Chihiro who hadn't been honest the whole time. So apologies were in order. And an explanation, if the biker cared to hear it.
He came to a quick stop before the man's door, nervously outstretching his hand to tap on the ringer. His finger lingered over the button and he darted his hazel eyed attention back and forth down the hallway. Still alone. No Junko peeking around the corner to make another horrible accusation. No other students passing by to confirm any rumors she had created. With a sharp breath, he pressed the button and then leaned forward to listen to the intercom. His entire body was trembling, and for a moment, he considered dashing down the hallway back to his room for safety. But that wouldn't solve anything. He had to be brave for once in his life. He had spent so long running from his problems, though. That wouldn't be any different from the normal.
"What?" spat Mondo's disgruntled voice from the other end, sending a chill down his spine. The young boy withdrew his finger, biting down on his lower lip as he pressed another button.
"It's me… Chihiro… I… want…" he began slowly with his lips close to the speaker, expecting to get no answer after this. "I want to… talk… please…" He released the button, standing up straight and waiting for the door to pop open. There was no response. Not even static from the intercom to let him know Mondo was thinking about responding. Dead silence flooded the hallway. Mondo wasn't going to let him in.
The seconds passed by, agonizing and slow, and Chihiro took a step back. Retreating to his room was for the best. The biker wasn't going to give him any time from here on out, not with the terrible feeling of betrayal that was most likely filling his body. From down the hall, the programmer suddenly heard a click of a door handle, and he knew it was time to run. He couldn't be caught lingering outside Mondo's room.
Just as he was about to make his escape, the door in front of him crept open, Mondo standing with a towel in his hands, his tired, violent eyes narrowed. Nervously and without invitation, Chihiro pushed into the man's room and closed the door behind him. He was so concerned about being seen in front of Mondo's door that he didn't even realize how desperate he seemed bolting inside. "Sorry I took too long. Just got outta the shower," the biker murmured, turning his back on the small boy as he ran the towel against his head, attempting to dry his now messy hair. Chihiro rested awkwardly with his back against the door, clutching his laptop bag shakily against his chest. "What'cha want?"
With his hands clutched so close to his chest, he could feel his heart beating so hard. It was going so fast, he thought he may pass out. "I… I brought… your coat back," he stammered with a blush spreading across his cheeks like wild fire. Taking a hand from the bag to hold it at his side, he accidentally dropped it at his feet. He fell to his knees, keeping his head low as he dug through the bag, retrieving the long biker jacket. His eyes focused on the intricate golden designs laced upon the back. Whatever kept him from looking at the jacket's owner.
A hand reached down and suddenly snatched up the jacket. Mondo tossed it across the way in his messy room, the coat landing amongst another pile of clothes that were headed for the laundry eventually. "That it?" he grunted, again turning his back towards the smaller of the two. Chihiro shakily got to his feet, heaving the bag over his shoulder. He knew that running from the room meant that this would go unsolved forever. It was obvious that Mondo was angry. He was furious, and the blonde felt lucky that the biker was being so "nice" about it. He wasn't yelling, but he also wasn't holding him and telling him it was alright. He was biting his tongue. And Chihiro could leave. Leave things unspoken between them. Leave the explanations down, the threat of his secret coming to light resting on Mondo's anger. Leave their friendship and whatever could have been at the door. It would be awkward and hard to swallow at first, but they would get over it. Chihiro would learn to run away like he did from his other problems.
But he knew down in his heart, he didn't want to run this time. "No… we need to talk, please," Chihiro breathed slowly, his heart still beating furiously. "I… was going to… tell everyone eventually," he then muttered, everything he had rehearsed in his room flooding together and rushing out of his mouth. "But I didn't know how to tell anyone because I knew people would treat me differently," he continued then, his face beginning to sting when the tears started. The tears always started. If he wasn't hiding himself within the crowd, he was crying.
"The problem is you didn't say anything to me," Mondo grunted, patting his hand hard against his own chest, although resisting turning around. It was like he was trying to hide his own anger by not looking at the programmer. "You were letting me get too close and-"
"You came onto me!" Chihiro yelped, this time throwing his bag defiantly to the ground. It was empty at this point as he had simply used it to conceal the jacket on his way to Mondo's room, but he threw it down with enough force that it made quite the thump when hitting the ground. It was enough to cause the biker to throw a curious glance over his shoulder. The programmer was visibly shaking, from nerves, and budding anger, as he stood pressed against the door with his tiny fists balled at his sides. "We were drunk… I drank too much and I forget… I grew up dressing like a girl to hide my insecurities… and last night I was so happy that someone was giving me such attention that I forgot…"
Mondo turned halfway with his hands stuck in his pajama pockets, feeling the heartbreak ringing out in the small one's fragile, cracking voice. "I never thought anyone would ever be interested in me because… I don't like who I am," Chihiro murmured, bringing the back of his hand against his cheek, rubbing away the thick stream of tears dripping down his skin. His voice fell quiet and he sobbed into his hand then, averting his attention towards the floor. "I'm weak… I got picked on when I was little because I wasn't like the other boys… they didn't like to play with me… so I dressed like a girl and now… I'm just…" Pressing both hands against his face, he sighed heavily into his palms, feeling his warm, shaking breath scatter all over his heat splotched skin. The area beneath his eyes stung and he shut his eyes tightly, freeing another river of tears.
The biker took a heavy seat against his unmade bed, resting his elbows against his knees. He was angry. He didn't like people lying to him, and of all people within the academy, he didn't figure Chihiro would be the one to deceive him so bad. He felt sorry for the kid, though. Knowing that yelling and being aggressive wouldn't help their situation, he attempted to hold down his rage for the sake of Chihiro's fragile state. Regardless of how the secret came to light, it was an extremely huge thing for him to admit. "So do you like guys… or do you like girls because you're a… guy?" Mondo questioned with half a shrug, trying to make sense of everything that had been announced to him within the past day. It was hard to stare at the adorable boy before him, with his longer blonde hair styled so gently. The one he was used to seeing in skirts and knee high socks. Bows and make up from time to time. It was hard to look at him and think he was just having a conversation with another guy.
Chihiro took in a few quick huffs, slowly dropping his hands from his face. He rubbed his eyes with his sleeves, frowning heavily. "I have never liked anyone," he admitted, tugging at the edge of his sleeve, which was now soaked with his tears. "I have never thought to be attracted to anyone, boy or girl… I was too concerned with hiding who I was to… try to involve anyone else." He wrapped his trembling arms over his stomach, awkwardly shifting his weight against the door. He wanted to sit beside Mondo for a little bit of warmth, and possibly some comfort, but stepping any closer would be pushing his luck. "I actually thought I would be alone forever… get out of school and just… keep to myself. With my computer programs and stuff…"
"Why'd you sit with me last night, then? And drink with the guys?"
The boy wavered on his heels, shrugging. He had no intention of misleading any of the guys last night by sitting amongst them. Their game seemed much more interesting than following around the girls on their drunken escapade around the academy. Plus, he had seen the way some of the girls teased one another when drunk. They could get downright catty and mean with one another. He actually felt safer getting drunk with the boys because he knew they would take care of him… thinking he was a girl. "I never spend time with any of you… I don't know much about any of the boys… so I thought I would try hanging out with you…"
There was a long silence between them and Chihiro considered just running out of the door. He had done nothing but make a fool out of himself, even if he had gotten somewhat of a point across. All he did now was show Mondo that he was weak. Crying like a child, and cowering behind his hands and insecurities. But Mondo wasn't yelling. He wasn't cussing and throwing his fist in the programmer's direction. So he remained, a little hope lighting into his heart. "Sorry I yelled last night…" Mondo finally spoke up, running his hand through his damp, messy hair. Since just out of the shower, it hadn't been styled and just hung loosely around his neck and over his forehead. "You told me and I… was so shocked that being mad was the only thing…I could do."
Chihiro frowned deeply, bringing his fist before his lips and resting his chin against his fingers. He apologized again in his mind, but couldn't muster any more than a squeak. Mondo's reaction last night was enough to make him sick, quiver from head to toe. It was terrifying. He had only seen Mondo get THAT angry with one other person, which resulted in a near fist fight between him and Leon. But the biker swore to never hit a girl… when the secret was let out, Chihiro expected to get punched. "I got mad cause… I really like you."
Like? He liked him? Last night he assumed it was just the alcohol bringing about such feelings between them. Although Chihiro's heart had been lit aflame with the kisses and the touches, the blonde assumed that Mondo was just being a guy. The kind of guy all the girls judged him to be. Grimy and rude. He never thought someone like that could actually… like him. Surely he didn't share those same feelings now, knowing the girl he once crushed on was a boy. Certainly Mondo wasn't that kind of guy. The blonde narrowed his eyes, clearing his throat. It burned again. "Liked?" he mumbled, cocking his head slightly to the left.
"Liked… yeah," Mondo admitted with a small blush springing to his cheeks. He turned his head to the side, staring at a pile of dirty laundry that was collecting in the corner of his room. For a moment, he felt embarrassed that his room was in such disarray, but he was sure Chihiro wasn't focused on the state of his cleanliness right now. "I was drunk and stupid, and forcing you into things you probably wouldn't want sober and… then I got angry."
"You didn't force me," Chihiro mumbled, letting his hands drop to his sides now. He pressed his palms against the back of the door, pushing himself away from it slightly. A miniscule smile tugged at his lip for a moment through the tears, but it quickly vanished. He didn't want to make light of anything that happened last night. They were two guys who made out drunkenly last night. Whereas Chihiro was almost alright with that fact, Mondo probably felt violated. "I should have… said something about… being a boy. You had every right to yell."
"Not like that," Mondo grunted sharply, angrily clutching the bed sheets within his palms. "I never asked you… never could even get the courage to speak to you… ask you out or anything, and I tried to bed you in a night… Guy or not, you don't deserve something like that… so, uh…" He took in a deep breath, shaking his head as he closed his eyes. "I ran out of there before I hurt you… physically. I scared myself and I know I scared you."
Standing from the bed, he headed towards the door, his hands cocked on his hips. He tossed a sideways glance towards the door, disappointed by the entire event. Then a smile came to his lips. Chihiro stared at him timidly, pressing his back against the door once more. Just seeing his lips curved in that manner made a small grin appear on his face as well. A confused one, but a smile. "So let's just… call it even then. You're sorry for lyin', I'm sorry for gettin' angry. We forget this whole thing happened…"
Chihiro nodded slowly. That wasn't exactly how he wanted things to go, but he expected it. It wasn't like he thought Mondo was just going to up and completely accept the fact that he had shared an intimate night with another boy, and then come running back into his arms wanting more. But the fact that he at least accepted Chihiro for who he really was beneath those skirts was enough for now. "Yeah, we can forget," the blonde mumbled, brushing back a strand of his thin, wispy hair behind his ears. "Just promise that you…"
"I won't tell anyone," Mondo quickly finished with a sure nod. "That's your thing… not my place." He suddenly extended his hand out towards the young programmer, staring at him with a kind smile. Chihiro felt warm and nervously outstretched his own hand, shaking it firmly. "Man's honor."
"Thank you," the programmer murmured softly, immediately turning away and disappearing into the hallway with his laptop bag. He didn't think to check for anyone gathered around as he raced towards his room. The conversation ended better than he assumed, but even with Mondo's support about his inner demons, it didn't change the fact that now the programmer's little heart was all aflutter with emotions for the biker. Emotions that were now going to remain unrequited as they probably wouldn't speak normally until graduation where they would part ways, and Chihiro would wander into the real world, scared of the next person who took interest in him.