Chapter 8

I'm Still Here

Author's Note: Apologies for not updating in a while! Life getting in the way and whathaveyou. Anyhoodle. I was so excited to do this chapter you don't even know asdfghjkl. I tried to copy the montage-y part in the movie as much as I could, so it might be a little dumb. But eh. I had fun writing it. This is how it's set up: There'll be a small scene to each lyric. The scenes are in order, as much as they can be, and this is all just essentially a big pile of little scenes. Enjoy, reviews are a gay Matt Smith in Christopher and His Kind

Kisses and cumshots,

Melanie

I am a question to the world,

Not an answer to be heard;

Or a moment, that's held in your arms.

It was a few days into the journey, and Starla had to admit, she was having a great time. The duties she did for Silver were a lot easier than what she was usually forced to do when on a ship, and she found herself gravitating closer and closer to Jim. It was odd, she'd never felt close to anyone, really, not after her parents were killed. She was a mystery, it seemed, even to herself. She caught herself acting more like a teenager, rather than the pirate she was raised to be. Looking back on the past week or so, she realized that she was much more brooding and thoughtful; she laughed more and was well-behaved. It was strange for her; but she liked it.

She was sitting at a table, down in the kitchen. She was helping Jim and Silver with preparations for tonight's dinner, and became lost in thought, as she so often did. Starla looked up from her own pile of potatoes -freshly peeled; you're welcome- and towards Jim, who sat across from her at the table. Evidently, he was lost in thought as well. The young woman raised an eyebrow, and nudged his foot with hers, causing him to look up at her. She gave him a questioning look, What's wrong? But he just shook his head, smiling lightly. She sighed audibly, and he looked up once more. Eyebrow raised, Starla gave him one of her best 'looks.'

At least he smiled. "You can tell me," she said to him quietly, and Silver looked up from his position inside the kitchenette when he heard her voice. Jim shrugged, giving her a weak smile.

"Just… thinking about home. Missing it, actually," he coughed out a laugh. He looked away from her then, choosing instead to gaze up at the sky. Within moments, he was once again somewhere far away.

And what do you think you'd ever say,

I won't listen anyway; you don't know me,

And I'll never be what you want me to be.

The night was filled to the brim with beauty. Starla stood by the railing on the deck of the Legacy, gazing up in wonder at the endless expanse of the sky. There were flare ups around the ship; shining purple and blue. She leaned against the mop in her hands, mesmerized by the colours. It was truly beautiful; she'd never get tired of a view like this. Sighing, she leaned the mop against the railing and stretched, holding her jacket tight against her; it was a little chilly.

Looking up, Starla could see Silver teaching Jim how to tie a proper knot, up near the crow's nest. She smiled when she saw the impatient and bored look on Jim's face, and she stretched her arm up to wave at him. Catching his attention, Starla gestured he should come down and walk with her. He grinned, and nodded that he would.

She let out a laugh as she saw Jim climbing down on the rope he had previously been practicing on; looks like his knot-tying skills were enviable. When he jumped from his rope to the deck, landing beside her, she told him as much, and he laughed with her.

Seeing the elation written plainly on his face, Starla decided she loved it when Jim laughed. He looked absolutely delightful when he did. Upon realizing that she was staring at his face with a blank look upon her own features, Starla quickly cleared her throat, running a hand back through her hair and looking down. Jim linked his arm with hers, and she grinned as they ran from Silver's perch and his shouts trailing after them.

And what do you think you'd understand,

I'm a boy, no, I'm a man;

You can take me, and throw me away.

It was a hotter day than Starla was used to, and it was starting to get quite uncomfortable. Her breath came out in pants as she swabbed the deck with Jim, sweat dripping into her eyes. She stood up then, straightening her back and reaching a hand up to rub at her neck. She looked down at Jim, and didn't envy him whatsoever. He was ordered by Silver to scrub the deck with a hard brush, on his knees. At least she had gotten the mop.

She groaned and pulled the clip from her hair, letting the waves fall in a cascade and tickle her bare arms. She'd thrown on a simple white cotton dress today; it was sleeveless, cinched at the waist, and fell plainly to her ankles. Currently she was barefoot, as it was much too warm for her boots.

Groaning, Starla dropped the mop and sat on the deck, lying on her back with her eyes closed.

"I'm dead. It's killed me," she said aloud, trying not to smile. She could hear Jim chuckle from beside her, and she turned her head, opening her eyes to look at him. He was on his knees beside her, and, as she watched, he pretended to wobble back and forth, before he feigned a faint and fell down, angling his head onto her stomach. Rolling her eyes, she reached her hand over to run her fingers once through his hair. Realizing what she had done, she snapped her hand back quickly, and she felt a heat rise into her cheeks.

Why was she acting like such a child around him? All she and Jim ever did was laugh and play around; he didn't even know that much about her, nor she him. Yes, of course they had talked a lot, but never about anything substantially important. Why was she so… Not herself with him?

Feeling bold, she ran a hand through his hair once again as she lost herself in thought. When she was with Jim, everything was a game, and laughter. She was usually bitter, and didn't care for anyone. Why did everything suddenly shift?

Jim's eyes had fallen closed when Starla first touched her hand to his hair. It felt nice; very natural. It was at times like this when their fleeting first kiss came into his mind, and this time was no different. He wished he'd had the courage to talk to her about it, or to do it again.

Their thoughts were interrupted when they heard Silver approach.

"Jimbo! Starla! You two have a job to do. Get to it," he said, hands on his hips as he stared down at the two teenagers. Starla sighed and waited for Jim to get up off her, as she removed her hand from his hair. It took him a moment, but he did, rising to his feet and stretching his arms up. Starla stood up beside him, watching the two men and fidgeting with her star.

"How long do I have to keep at this?" Jim asked Silver, gesturing at the water bucket and brush. Silver picked the bucket up, and trust it into Jim's hands.

"Until I tell ya you're done," he said, pointing down at the deck. Jim muttered under his breath, tossing the water down the deck. Silver's mechanical eye changed from yellow to red, showing his frustration.

"Are ya goin' to complain about every little job I give ya? Tell me Jimbo - Are ya a boy, or a man?"

And how can you learn what's never shown?

Yeah you stand here on your own;

You don't know me, 'cause I'm not here.

He wasn't feeling good this morning, Starla could tell right away. She was on kitchen duty today, preparing lunch for the crew so Silver would have time for other jobs. Hearing footsteps behind her, she wiped her hands on her apron and pushed the stray hair behind her ears, smiling in greeting. It was Jim, of course. But he was distracted; lost in thought. He walked in with a nod in Starla's general direction, looking down at the floor. She rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand, and gave him a look of concern that he didn't see.

"You alright, darlin'?" She asked him as she turned around, getting back to her food preparation. He came up beside her, diving in to the chopping of vegetables required for the recipe.

"'M alright," he said, rubbing at his neck.

Eyebrow raised, Starla stuck a hand on her hip.

"No, you're not," she said to him, and waited until he looked up at her. He stopped his chopping and looked at her, his eyes tired and weary. Definitely something wrong. She sighed and gave him a light and sad smile.

"Even if you don't want to tell me what's wrong, just remember I'm here," Starla said quietly, before turning back to the counter. Jim resumed his previous action, and they stood there in silence for a few minutes.

Finally, she heard Jim sigh lightly, and she waited patiently for him to begin.

"Had a dream about my dad last night," he said. Starla bit her lip, and still waited for him to encroach the subject. "Wasn't much, just a sort of memory. When I was a kid, my mom used to get me these… make-it-yourself toy things. And I'd gotten a set of boats. I remember picking my favourite, and putting it together for my dad. I was just a kid; it seemed like the coolest thing in the world. And when my dad got home from work, I ran up and I showed him the stupid thing; the toy I'd made and wanted him to have. And he just ruffled my hair and walked right past me. Didn't even look at me," he said in a hushed voice, not looking at her. She didn't know what to say. I'm sorry that happened? No, she couldn't think of what to say. She wasn't good at comforting people, and couldn't relate to what he'd just told her.

So she let go of the bread dough she was kneading, and wiped her hands on her apron. She turned to Jim, and did something she hadn't done before. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and gave him a warm and sturdy hug. It felt like he really needed one, and she was happy to help. He seemed shocked at first, but after a moment he relaxed, wrapping his arms across her back and squeezing tight. He rested his head in her neck; the sort of way a boy would hug a girl when he needed comforting, not when she did. Starla could feel his breath tickle her skin, and she lifted her left hand up to rest at the nape of his neck. Her eyes fell shut as she turned her face in to his neck.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but eventually Silver came down to check on them. They'd jumped apart at the sound of his voice, and then shared a look before getting back to their cooking. They weren't really friends, and yet they weren't anything more than friends.

At least he seemed happier the rest of the day.

And I want a moment to be real,

Want to touch things I don't feel;

Want to hold on, and feel I belong.

It was where she went to think at night. And she definitely needed some good thinking time. She felt like such a twit… She was raised to be a pirate. She should be excited to kill Jim, not excited about getting to know him. Why was it a big deal in her eyes, getting closer to James Hawkins? She needed to stay focused on the mission; what she needed to do. She shouldn't be focusing on whether or not she and Jim were friends yet. What did it matter?

Starla's mind was quite clouded, and she needed to think. Therefore, she made her way up to the crow's nest. It was late in the evening, and most of the crew was down in the galley, telling stories and drinking. She could hear their laughter from here, and smiled to herself.

Sighing, she sat down in the suspended circular watchtower. Resting her head on her arms, she thought. She really doesn't know Jim that well, but she felt like they understood each other, in a way. They were familiar. Does being familiar with someone count as friendship? She didn't think so.

Starla groaned and lifted her head, eyes scrunched closed, and began to hit the back of her skull against the wood behind her.

"You're an idiot; focus on your job," she said to herself, still banging her head. She heard a chuckle sound from somewhere in front of her, and her eyes snapped open. Starla looked up to see Jim climbing into the crow's nest, and positioning himself to sit next to her.

"I doubt you're an idiot," he said, still smiling. "Everyone's down in the galley, aren't you coming? Silver's telling stories and… Well, he's actually kinda great," he said, looking as if he was surprised to discover he believed that. She smiled at him, bumping his shoulder with hers.

"Yeah, I'll be there eventually," Starla told him before shrugging. "Just not really into it at the moment. Thinking too much." She shrugged once more, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

"Anything you wanna talk about?" She heard Jim ask, and she smiled. Oh, if only she could.

"Thanks Jim," Starla began, opening her eyes and shifting slightly to lean her head on his shoulder, "but it's nothing terribly important. Over-thinking things. I'm fine," she assured him. They were quiet then, and she could feel the soft rise and fall of his chest, hear the pounding of his heart. Starla closed her eyes once again, and just sat there with Jim under the stars.

She wasn't sure if she had dozed off or just didn't notice at first, but soon Starla realized Jim had his arm around her shoulders, his head resting atop hers. Her eyes flashed open and she could feel her mind racing. No. Stop it. I can't be like this with him; I'm part of the mutiny. In her mind she knew that she should have gotten up, moved away, something; but her body would not respond. She remained in that position with Jim, until one of the crew members came up for the late night watch.

She and Jim didn't say a word to each other as they left the crow's nest. They walked silently together across the deck and towards the steps that would take them below and to the crew's sleeping quarters. When they reached the entrance, she stopped Jim by reaching over to grab his forearm. He turned to look back at her, questions in his eyes. Starla looked down, running a hand through her hair, before looking up at Jim, nervousness fluttering away in her stomach.

"Listen… I just wanted to say… Thanks. For being a friend, I mean," she said with a smile, trying not to put too much emphasis on the word 'friend.' Jim raised an eyebrow and gave her a smile.

"Oh, we're friends now, are we?" He asked, smiling wider. Starla rolled her eyes, patting her hand on his chest as she walked by and towards the door. Jim's hand gripping her wrist caused her to turn around, and this time she searched his eyes, her own full of questions. His hand lingered on her skin a moment, before letting her go and using that hand to rub the back of his neck. Starla encouraged him to speak with her eyes, patiently waiting for him to begin.

Jim looked dreadfully nervous, and Starla let a small smile creep onto her face. She felt like a small child, but she didn't care. Finally, Jim took a deep breath, and spoke to the floor.

"I - Uh. Look, I'm no good at this. I wanted to say that - I'm glad you're… Alive. And here. With me. I mean - here on the Legacy. Yeah, that. Uhm… Heh," he lifted his eyes to Starla's, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips. She could see the heat rising up his neck, and had to smile. A warm one this time. For the second time in as many days, she stepped up to Jim and wrapped her arms tightly around him, giving him a proper, lingering hug. Her face turned into his neck, and he didn't hesitate this time. His arms went around her at once, pulling her closer.

They stood there for a moment, until Starla began to pull away. But she didn't remove her hands from his shoulders, nor did he move his from her waist. He stared at her, searching with those bright blue eyes of his, and Starla could feel that small flutter inside her begin its dance once again.

Jim leaned in towards Starla, whispering her name, and she automatically leaned towards him, eyes falling shut. For the second time, their lips met in a small, nervous kiss. Their mouths moved together in harmony, as if they had been meant for this. Jim's hand reached up to cup the nape of Starla's neck, and her fingers tightened on his shoulder; they held each other in place.

After a few moments, Starla pulled back, breathing hard. She looked up into Jim's eyes, biting her bottom lip lightly. His face was flushed as he gazed down at her. They stood staring at each other a moment, before Starla smiled. His returning grin shone bright as a star.

Dropping her hands from Jim's shoulders, Starla stepped back. The former dropped his arm from her, watching her intently. She simply smiled once again, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Goodnight," she whispered, stepping back and giving him a small wave of her hand, before walking down the steps and towards her hammock, a ridiculous grin playing at her lips.

And how can the world want me to change,

They're the ones that stay the same,

They don't know me, but I'm still here.

Starla woke in a daze, the sounds of movement on deck loud above her. Laughter and shouts could easily be heard, and she groaned before sitting up on her hammock, eyes bleary. She had been up quite late last night, and didn't fall asleep for a while after she'd gone to bed. Last night was… Interesting, to say the least. Enlightening, maybe that was the right word.

Jim, the kiss. She had been lying in her hammock, making sure her back was to Jim's hammock as he'd clambered down the steps, sometime after she'd come down, walking to his impromptu bed. She'd listened to him remove his shoes and jacket, and get himself comfortable. For a while, she simply lay there, listening as well as she could; listening until he was silent. She waited until she could hear the sounds of his deep and even breathing, letting her know he was now fast asleep. She'd smiled then, and only after she was sure he was comfortably asleep, did she close her eyes and let herself sleep as well.

Starla shook her head of errant thoughts, not wanting to think about that right now. She sighed and stood up, stretching out her back before reaching down to grab her boots and slip them on, not bothering to tie them properly. She reached over to grab her jacket, making sure her gun was still hidden from sight within its new home inside her pack.

Pushing her hands through the sleeves, Starla walked drowsily towards the door, reaching up to contain her hair in a messy bun. Reaching the steps, she could see it was a very bright day outside, and could tell that it was somewhere between late morning and early afternoon. Slept in, then. She groaned internally and headed towards the galley, hoping to find Silver.

Instead she found Jim. He sat in the middle of the dining area in the galley, apron on and doing a pile of dishes. She smiled at him, blushing lightly. She wasn't sure how to act around him, now that they had obviously broken the friend barrier. Starla slipped her jacket off and replaced it on the hook where her apron hung, pulling it over her head and tying it around her waist. She walked over to Jim, grabbing a bucket as she went and turning it upside down, placing it next to Jim's. He smiled as he looked up at her, and she sat on her little bucket next to his, reaching over to grab a dish towel and assist him.

"Morning. Well, afternoon technically," Jim said to her, sharing a small, secret smile with her. Starla resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and smiled back at him.

"Hello darlin'," she replied quietly as he handed her a plate.

"How are you this fine day?"

Starla smiled, looking up into his eyes. "I'm brilliant," she told him honestly, and they sat there looking at each other for a moment. Jim was leaning closer to her, and Starla smiled as her eyes fell shut.

Footsteps alerted the pair to someone coming down into the galley, so Starla quickly opened her eyes, and began to dry some cutlery as Jim pulled away, blushing yet again.

Starla looked up to see Silver walk up to them, before loudly dropping an enormous pile of dirtied dishes in front of them. She let out a small sigh and raised an eyebrow at Silver, but he only grinned.

"Get 'em done by tonight," he said simply, gesturing at the dishes before walking back up on deck. Jim stared open-mouthed at the pile, and Starla groaned.

"Great," the young woman mumbled quietly to herself. Jim looked mildly angry as he stared at Silver's retreating figure, and picked up a large pot to scrub it vigorously, challenging Silver in a way. Starla sighed and waited for Jim to hand her the next dish to dry.

And you see the things they never see,

All you wanted I could be;

Now you know me, and I'm not afraid.

She remembered laughing with Jim as they did their chore, making it more fun than it was. She remembered finishing the dishes, and stretching afterwards. She remembered sitting in front of Jim, leaning her back against his legs, as they talked about anything they hadn't covered before. She'd even told him sleepily about her parents' deaths, and being taken in by Silver - excluding the whole pirate thing, of course. What she didn't remember, was falling asleep. One minute she was telling Jim about traveling as a child through space -with her merchant parents- and the next, she was being woken up by a light shake on the shoulder.

She was startled beyond belief when she was woken up, not noticing she'd drifted off. But when Starla awoke with a small jump, she instinctively looked towards the door, trying to estimate the time. It was dark, and much quieter than it had been during the day. She looked up to see a tired-looking Jim smile at down at her, as he stretched his arms out. A heavy coat she easily recognized seemed to be weighing Jim's shoulders down a notch, and she smiled. So Silver had come to check on them. She couldn't help but smile to herself as she stretched her back out. She had noticed Jim and Silver becoming closer friends, and was glad about that.

Starla felt Jim rise behind her, and he walked around to face her, hand held out. She smiled gratefully as he helped her stand, feeling good when her back aligned and straightened. She silently studied Jim for a moment, noticing his yawn and guessing he'd fallen asleep as well. She smiled and grabbed his hand, dragging him with her to the door.

"Sleep. Need some," Starla told him with a smile, and he chuckled in agreement, giving her hand a light squeeze as he followed her into the evening air.

And I wanna tell you who I am,

Can you help me be a man,

They can't break me, as long as I know who I am.

Starla watched Jim and Silver carefully, throwing small glares at Silver every so often, as she sat in the empty and unused longboat, whittling at a small block of wood. They were way below deck, at the bottommost part of the ship. Silver was teaching Jim about the longboats, and presently he shouted instructions at the younger man, as they released the opposite longboat from its rigging. Sighing, Starla dropped her knife and block of wood, shooting another glare at Silver. He had specifically instructed her to stay out of this lesson. So there she was, sitting around like a useless follower. It was a tad annoying, if she was being honest.

Silver and Jim got the boat properly set up and it was floating down through the open door on the floor, Silver inside. He saluted Jim in thanks, before directing the lesser boat down, completely free of the ship.

"Finally," Starla whispered under her breath as she and Jim watched the older man disappear. She stood from the longboat and stepped onto the catwalk, making her way towards Jim.

She smiled as she nudged him in the arm, trying to catch his attention. But Jim, standing next to the large opening and staring down into nothing, looked distracted and somewhat hurt. Starla bit her lip, gently resting her hand on his shoulder.

"Jim?" She asked, her voice just a small whisper. He shook his head, closing his eyes a moment before walking past her, to the door that would eventually take him back on deck.

Starla stood there a moment, running a hand back through her loose waves. She thought back for a moment, wishing she'd paid more attention to Jim's lesson with Silver. Did Silver say something? Did she? Starla tried to think through what happened that afternoon, and nothing really came to mind. Sighing and fiddling with her annoyingly long tresses, she followed Jim's route through the ship, making her way back on deck.

They can't tell me who to be, 'cause I'm not what they see.

Yeah the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreamin' for me.

And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe.

It was odd the rest of the day, after what had happened with Jim down below. Jim was quiet and reserved, not talking to anyone, not even Starla. Silver returned from his small journey and found she and Jim unusually quiet in the galley. He teased them, but the young woman just shook her head at him, shrugging her shoulders and pointing at Jim when he turned around. Silver seemed as baffled as she was, and that night at dinner she sat alone and in silence, worry clouding her thoughts.

That night, she lay in her cot, listening to the sounds of the crew members' snores and breathing, trying to get comfortable. She had her book on her lap, and was sticking a lit oil lamp on the wall just beside her, giving herself some light to read to. She made sure the light was low, as to not wake anyone up. Sighing in contentment, Starla opened the tattered novel to its dog-eared page, bringing her knees to her chest as she attempted to get lost in a different world.

Before she could even finish a single sentence, Starla heard a quiet voice.

"Starla?" She heard being called out, and she shut her book, sighing.

"Sorry about the light, I'll turn it down," she called in a whisper, reaching to the lamp. She heard footsteps make their way towards her, and she looked up when Jim came into the light. He gave her the tiniest smile, and moved to sit next to her on the hammock.

She crossed her legs, looking at him curiously as she set her book down on the floor. Jim raised a hand to fiddle with his hair, not looking at Starla.

"I'm sorry I acted like a brat today," he began in a quiet voice, and she waited for him to continue. Jim chuckled without much humor. "It's stupid, really. I just… Well - Silver's been really helpful to me, and I guess I started seeing him as… Well an uncle," he looked at her then, flashing a small smile before continuing. "It sounds stupid, I know. But… Well, when he left today, on the longboat, I just got this weird feeling… And I remembered the day my dad left. It reminded me of it, in a way," Jim finished. He had his hands in his lap, and fiddled with his fingernails, refusing to look at Starla.

She looked at him silently for a moment, studying his features in the dimming light, before reaching over to lay her hand on his shoulder. It was a gesture she did often, something they were used to. He reached his hand up to lay over hers, and they sat silently in a position that was normal to them now.

"I'm sorry Jim," Starla whispered to him, still watching his face. "Truly, I am. And it doesn't sound stupid," she assured him, rubbing his fingers with her thumb. He looked up at her, his eyes bright in the darkness. Starla smiled at him, and he smiled back, just for a moment, before looking back down at the wooden floor.

"I was ten," Jim began in a small voice, still staring into the floor, "- like you were. Just a kid. I remember waking up one morning, hearing my parents shout at each other. They shouted a lot. Mom yelled something like 'Please don't go!' and I heard the front door slam. I jumped out of bed, looking out my window. And there was dad, bag packed and headed towards a ship on the docks. I remembering running as fast as I could down the stairs, and I could see my mom, crying at a table," his voice had grown very quiet now, and Starla watched him, her heart breaking.

Jim took a breath before continuing. "So I ran out of the Benbow, just standing outside and watching as my dad got to the dock. I froze, completely in denial for a second about what was happening. And so I ran. I ran as fast as I could, to the docks. I didn't know what I would say, but I didn't care. I just wanted my dad to stay," Jim took another breath, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them. He gave a harsh laugh, "I fell a couple times, running down the path. It's how I got these," he said, reaching up with his free hand to point at the small scars under his eyes. "But I got up and I ran, thinking about nothing but begging him to come back. I reached the dock, but it didn't matter. The ship was already leaving, him on it. He didn't look back when I yelled his name, nor when I begged. That's the last I ever saw of him," Jim finished, voice impossibly quiet.

Starla had her free hand over her mouth, shock and hurt written across her face.

"Oh, my Gods," she whispered. What do you say to that? Starla dropped her hand from her face, letting out a shaky breath. Leaning forward, she rested her head on Jim's shoulder, her arms winding around him to give him a light hug.

"I don't think 'sorry' really covers it," she said with a humorless chuckle. She felt terrible for him; even though she'd lost her parents, they didn't leave her by choice. His did.

Jim stood up from Starla's hammock, his back to her as she looked up with questions in her eyes. He reached up to wipe at his face, and she looked down, not wanting to intrude on his moment. Starla looked up when he turned around, and his eyes boring into hers as he grabbed both of her hands gently in his, pulling her to her feet. She stood, not taking her eyes from his. Gently, he leaned his head forward to rest on her shoulder, his face turned into her neck. She almost smiled as she reached a hand up to rub the back of his neck, the other resting lightly on his shoulder. She had whispered to him, but she couldn't remember what. Just simple cliché things, like "It's all right." His arms snaked around her back, holding her so tight, but she never once complained. He needed someone with him, and she was glad he chose her.

They stood together for some time there, eyes closed as she listened to him breathe. It was a very peaceful moment, and despite how upsetting the tale he'd told her was, she was glad that he felt comfortable enough to tell her.

After a while, Jim pulled back from Starla, looking down into her eyes. His were bright and clear, looking into her own dark ones. She gave him the lightest of smiles, letting her right hand cup his cheek. He smiled back at her, whispering "Thank you," and reaching up to place his own hand over hers.

Jim leaned down slightly, placing a small kiss at the corner of her mouth. He then pulled away, dropping his hand and turning away, leaving her to stand alone, watching his retreating figure with wide eyes. After a moment, she sighed, leaning down to blow out the oil lamp before lying back down in her hammock.

"Idgit. Letting yourself get in too deep with this boy," Starla mumbled to herself before letting exhaustion envelope her.

And I want a moment to be real,

Wanna touch things I don't feel,

Wanna hold on, and feel I belong.

The next day had a different feel to it. After Jim telling Starla what had happened with his father, and the moment they had shared; she knew things would change once again between them. They weren't just playful teenagers, flirting without regret. He had shared something quite personal with her, and she actually cared. That morning as they did their duties together -preparing food, sweeping the galley- she'd catch him looking at her sometimes, just studying her. Then they'd share a secretive smile and get back to whatever they were doing. She'd catch herself staring at him as well, lost in thought. He'd tease her about that, but Starla would just laugh and they'd share another smile.

Things were good; and Starla was truly happy for a change. She felt like a teenager instead of a pirate, and loved the feeling. If she was honest with herself, she preferred it this way.

Second thoughts about the mutiny clouded her mind all day, and sometimes she sat in silence, just thinking through what she should do. She couldn't be part of the mutiny anymore, she just couldn't. She couldn't do that to Jim, after what they'd been through.

Jim interrupted her reverie, as she sat in the bright light of day on the ship's railing. She smiled at him, jumping down to stand beside him.

"Silver's taking me for a ride in the longboat. Teach me how it works," he said, a wide grin brightening up his features. She smiled for him, his excitement washing off on her.

"Come on," he said, grabbing Starla's hand and pulling her after him. He led her through the inner pathways of the Legacy, finally coming out at the bottom of the ship. She saw Silver, readily sitting in the longboat and waiting for Jim. The latter turned around to give her a goodbye smile and squeeze of the hand before jumping into the boat.

Starla waved goodbye to the two of them as the boat floated down below the ship, finally blasting off with Jim at the helm. She grinned to herself, and walked back towards the door. Her joyful expression soon fled, though, and she felt herself frown, brows knitting together as she thought.

Starla couldn't keep on like this, and she knew it full well. She couldn't continue to be this close with Jim, when sometime in the near future she would be betraying him. Her heart contracted at the mere thought, and she closed her eyes, leaning against a wall and rubbing her eyes in frustration. What could she do, to make things right?

And how can they say I never change,

They're the ones that stay the same,

I'm the one now, 'cause I'm still here.

Sometime later, Starla heard the distinct sound of small engines, and ran over to the edge of the deck to look down. Sure enough, a longboat containing Silver and Jim was returning to the Legacy. She smiled, dropping the mop and running towards the door that would lead her to the docking bay far below. She jumped down the steps and ran towards the bay. Starla could hear the sounds of laughter coming through the open doorway, and she stepped through, grinning at the two men.

Jim looked up at her as she walked over, and she gave them both a small wave in greeting.

"How was it?" She asked, jumping into the longboat after they'd secured it. Silver laughed and elbowed Jim in the side.

"This one can maneuver a skiff better than I can," he chuckled. Jim sat with his arms crossed behind his head, smiling at Silver. Starla sat herself beside Jim, smiling up at him. Silver looked tired, and he rubbed his forehead with a handkerchief as Morph floated about. Jim looked at Silver, seeming to continue a conversation the woman had seemingly interrupted.

"But I'm gonna change all that," Jim said, leaning forward slightly. Silver was busy petting Morph, but looked up after a moment.

"Are ya now? How so?" He asked, smiling lightly. Jim gave him a small grin, leaning back against the side of the boat.

"I got some plans. Gonna make people see me a little different," Jim finished, crossing his arms behind his head again, eyes contentedly closed. Starla raised an eyebrow, but stayed silent. Silver's smile disappeared, and he looked at the young woman as he spoke.

"Sometimes, plans go astray."

The cyborg shared a look with Starla; and she broke it first, choosing instead to fiddle with the ends of her hair. Jim, eyes still closed, was oblivious to their shared look.

"Not this time," he said, a light smile still lingering.

Silver looked at Starla a moment longer, before lifting his mechanical leg up on one of the benches, needing to loosen one of the bolts. She ran a hand back through her dark waves, and watched Jim as he leaned forward, watching Silver's actions with curiosity. Morph saw Silver's struggles, and turned himself into a wrench.

"Ah, thank you Morphy," Silver said to his pet, using the shape shifter to loosen the bolt. Jim looked thoughtfully at Silver a moment, rubbing his chin.

"So," Jim began, "Ah, how'd that happen, anyway?" He asked, gesturing to Silver's mechanical bits. Silver raised his metal arm, looking at it sadly a moment. Starla's eyes wandered to it as well, remembering the story Silver had once told her, of how he lost his right arm and leg, and bits of his head. She shuddered, looking instead at Jim's patient expression.

"Ya give up a few things, chasin' a dream," Silver said simply, still studying his interchangeable arm.

"Was it worth it?" Jim asked quietly. Starla looked at Silver, knowing full well the only reason he lost some parts was because of his hunt for Treasure Planet. Silver caught her look, and just laughed. He sighed, before moving to the other side of the small boat, sitting on the side of Jim that wasn't occupied. He placed his arm behind Jim's shoulders, shooting the two teenagers a smile.

"I'm hopin' it is, Jimbo," he said, before looking at Starla. "I most surely am."

The three of them sat there quietly a moment, all lost in thought. Starla kept thinking about Treasure Planet, about the mutiny. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, thinking fast.

After everything that had gone on between her and Jim –the playfulness, their opening up to each other, the gentle touches shared- she knew that her heart had made a decision.

She couldn't do it. Gods help her, she won't be able to go through with it. As she sat there in silence, her mind focused on the boy next to her, she finally came to a decision. She knew what she had to do.