Alvin ran downstairs with the box of money, and raced over to the front door, when Dave walked up to him.
"Where are you going, Alvin?" Dave asked.
Alvin shrieked, startled by Dave. "Uh... uh... nowhere..."
"Well, what's the in the box?" Dave asked.
"Nothing!" Alvin said.
"Then, what are you doing with it?" Dave asked again.
"Uh... I was... uh..." Alvin hesitated, as he tried to think of an excuse, "it's just uh... I was... I was taking it out front... yeah, I was cleaning out underneath my bed, there's nothing in here but a bunch of junk and garbage, I was just going to leave it out with the cans for the trash guys to pick up tomorrow."
"Wow, Alvin," Dave said, "you cleaning out underneath your bed without ever being asked? What year is this?"
"Dave? I'm... a little insulted..." Alvin began, "you were the one who once said 'why can't you be more tidy and organized like Simon or Theodore?'... I just want to show you I can be just as tidy and organized as any other brother in this house!"
"Well... I didn't mean to offend you, Alvin, and I'm sorry I hurt your feelings," Dave said, "I was just using them as an example..."
"All is forgiven." Alvin said.
"Well, go ahead with what you're doing Alvin, but be getting ready for bed when you're through." Dave said, as he walked into the living room.
"Don't worry about me, Dave," Alvin called out to him, "I've got it all under control!"
Out the door Alvin went, though ever since Eleanor mentioned what Theodore had told her about the money, her sisters were contemplating on how exactly Alvin got his hands on it, as just finding a box of money of the doorstep didn't seem like a believable explanation.
"I bet Alvin probably robbed a bank, and is using that story as a coverup!" Brittany said.
"All I know is Alvin's got a box full of more money than he knows what to do with." Eleanor said.
"But why would someone just drop a box of money on someone's doorstep?" Jeanette wondered. "You wouldn't just leave your driver's license or birth certificate with someone else."
"I wish I knew..." Eleanor said.
Out in the girls' backyard, Alvin was struggling to climb up the trellace outside their bedroom window, but once he made it up, he peered through, discretely, as he saw the chipettes in their room, conversing.
"Well, if Alvin's suddenly a filthy rich tycoon," Brittany, whipping her ponytail around, "then maybe he might need somebody other than Roberta to spend it on..."
"Oh, Brittany..." Eleanor moaned.
"Just thought..." Brittany said, plotting to ask Alvin out, so she can get her hands on some of his money as well.
Alvin watched in secret, waiting for the right moment to make his move, and when he finally saw Brittany and Eleanor leave the room, while Jeanette started to turn her bed back, he knew it was time. Gently, he tapped on the window. Jeanette looked up for a moment, then shook it off, as she placed her hands on her sweater, getting ready to change into her nightgown. Alvin was beginning to watch in interest, expecting to find Jeanette having a nice body under her clothes, but shook that off as well, and tapped on the window again, this time louder, and harder. This time, Jeanette knew she wasn't hearing things, but where was this mysterious tapping coming from? Again, Alvin tapped, and Jeanette finally realized it was coming from the window outside, so Jeanette raised the sunshade to see what the idea was. When she saw Alvin, she opened the window.
"Alvin?" She asked. "What are you doing out there?"
"Never mind that, we need to talk!" Alvin said, in a low tone.
"What about?" Jeanette asked, as she leaned over the window sill.
"Not here!" Alvin said. "Come out back!"
"Um... okay..." Jeanette said, as she shut the window, though the breeze that followed from the window being shut swayed the trellace, as Alvin lost his balance, and fell off.
Jeanette strolled downstairs, just as Eleanor left the kitchen with a glass of water.
"Where are you going, Jeanette?" Eleanor asked.
"Um..." Jeanette began, "I'm not sure..." Jeanette continued down the stairs, and out the door, while Eleanor dropped her eyebrows in confusion.
Shortly later, Jeanette walked around back, where she found Alvin, picking himself up, and massaging his sore rear end.
"What's going on Alvin?" Jeanette asked.
"Jeanette, I need you to do me a big favor!" Alvin pleaded.
"Well, sure," Jeanette offered, "what is it?"
Alvin looked around to make sure no one was listening to them. "I suppose Eleanor spilled the beans about what Theodore told her, huh?"
"You mean about the box of money you have?" Jeanette asked.
Alvin sighed. "Figures... well anyway, I can't let anything happen to the money, now that words out, I'm no longer safe!"
"You mean the authorities are looking for you?!" Jeanette asked, in dispair.
"No!" Alvin replied. "What I mean is, now that word's out, people are going to be coming to me, asking for all kinds of loans, and before I know, the money'll all be gone!"
"Well..." Jeanette began.
Alvin grabbed the box, and handed it to Jeanette. "I need you to guard this with your life for me!"
"What?" Jeanette asked, as she took the box. "Why me?"
"Because... because... because..." Alvin knew the real reason was because Jeanette is so easily manipulated into doing things for other people, but he tried to think up of an excuse. "Because the only one I trust."
"I am?" Jeanette asked.
"Yeah, you are." Alvin said. "Simon and Theodore would sell their souls to get their hands on this box, Brittany would spend it like a drunken sailor, Eleanor... I'm not sure what Eleanor would do... but you, I can trust!"
"I never knew..." Jeanette began.
"Look... if people ask, I won't have the money anymore, right?" Alvin asked.
"Yeah..."
"They won't know I gave the money to you..." Alvin continued.
"Well..." Jeanette began.
"And if you don't have it, nobody will know what happened to it, right?" Alvin asked.
"But I do have it..." Jeanette told him.
"But they don't know that," Alvin said, "and you're going to act like you don't have it."
"I don't know, Alvin..." Jeanette said, preparing to hand the box back him.
"Please?" Alvin asked, trying to look as innocent as possible.
Jeanette was torn. Not knowing where the money came from in the first place, deep down, Jeanette felt she would be getting into trouble if she hid the money. On the other hand, Jeanette didn't want to just turn a friend down for a favor, even if it made her feel uncomfortable. As Alvin said, in a way, it would be like she doesn't know anything about it, but she would know, and it would bother her.
"Please?" Alvin asked again, quietly.
Jeanette sighed. "Okay, Alvin..."
Alvin perked up. "Thanks, Jeanette, I knew I could count on you!"
"I'll find someplace to hide the money for you." Jeanette said.
"Make sure it's someplace I can have easy access to when I need it." Alvin instructed.
"I'll leave it in the cellar," Jeanette said, "that way, it'll look like just another box of junk down there, and you can get to it from the outdoor entrance.
"Great!" Alvin squealed, as he place his hand on Jeanette's shoulder. "Thanks alot!"
"You're welcome..." Jeanette mumbled.
Alvin took off for home, while Jeanette, reluctantly, opened the doors to the cellar, and walked down to strategically place the box close to the staircase, among different, assorted boxes, so it wouldn't stand out. Jeanette later walked around the house again, this time to head in, just as Eleanor came stepping out.
"I was coming to look for you," Eleanor said, "where did you go?"
"Oh... uh... I lost one of my library books that are due tomorrow," Jeanette lied, "I went to see if I might have left it outside."
"Oh, Jeanette..." Eleanor began, "you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to you neck."
Jeanette didn't respond.
"I say that with effection." Eleanor said.
"I know." Jeanette said, as she walked back into the house, elsewhere, Roberta was flipping through an old yearbook, looking for a picture of Alvin, until she happened to come across it.
"That's the guy I was talking about." She pointed out.
"He's the one who was trying to hit on you?" Her older brother, Derrick asked.
"Yeah, he bought me lunch today and everything." She told him.
"What did you tell him?" Derrick asked.
"Well... I just said that I don't really go out that much... he thought I was suggesting I didn't like him, so I gave him the 'it's not you, it's me' bit." Roberta explained.
"So, you didn't tell him..." Derrick began.
"No." Roberta said.
"You think you should..." Derrick tried to continue.
"No." Roberta said again.
"How do you think he'd react when he..." Derrick began.
"Oh, will you shut up?" Roberta snapped.
"Touchy, touchy..." Derrick said, as he jokingly patted Roberta's head.
"Typical." Roberta said, looking at his picture again. "Just another typical guy for you."
"Aw, come on..." Derrick said. "Who else were you wanting to show me?"
"Well..." Roberta started to flip through some more pages, meanwhile, back home, Alvin strolled back into his bedroom, as if nothing happened.
"Well, did you find your 'simple-minded sap' to guard your money for you?" Theodore asked.
"Do me a favor, Theodore, and keep your mouth shut about the money from here on in, got it?" Alvin asked.
"Sorry." Theodore said.
"It's a good thing none of you have said anything to Dave about it." Alvin mentioned.
"Why?" Theodore asked.
"Well duh, Theodore, if 'the man' knew I had a box full of money, he'd force me to turn it into the cops!" Alvin said.
"Dave is probably going to find out, eventually." Simon said, as he walked back into the room.
"Nah, I'm good with Dave, we've got an understanding." Alvin said.
"Oh my..." Simon remarked, as he pulled his pajamas out of the dresser.
"Besides, it's all taken care." Alvin said.
"What's all taken care of?" Simon asked.
"I got rid of the money," Alvin said, "right, Theodore?"
"I thought you said you didn't want me to say anything about..." Theodore began, when Alvin cleared his throught, "oh yeah, Alvin got rid of the money alright."
"You didn't!" Simon said.
"I did!" Alvin said.
"Who did you give the money to?!" Simon asked.
"Woah, woah, woah, there, Simon," Alvin tried to calm down his younger brother, "what makes you think I'd just up and give away a box full of money to some simple-minded sap?"
"Because you said it was one of your options to get rid of the money." Simon reminded Alvin.
"Well, that's not how I got rid of it." Alvin lied.
"Then exactly how did you get rid of it?" Simon pressed.
"I lost it." Alvin lied.
"You expect me to believe that?" Simon asked, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously Alvin, what did you do with the money? Who did you give it to?"
Alvin faked a yawn. "Boy, oh boy, am I tired... I can hardly keep my eyes open..."
"Alvin..." Simon groaned.
"I better get ready for bed..." Alvin said, with another fake yawn, as he walked out the room, stretching, and scratching his rear end.
If anything was to be said about the man who dropped the box of money on the doorstep in the first place, it could be that he was scared out of his wits, and was in a lot of pain. He was tied to a chair in the middle of an empty room, bloody and bruised by the men who abducted him. The two men who were waiting in the SUV for him were the ones who had been assaulting him, while their accomplice, who took him down in the first place, stood off to the side with a loaded pistol pointed at his head at all times.
"You know what we want, don't you?" One of the men asked.
"Come on now," their victim said, with tremble in his voice, and blood pouring out of his mouth, "let's all be civilized about this..."
"Ain't nothin' civilized about this business!" The other of the two men said.
"Now, you gonna talk to us, or we gonna beat the ever-lovin' stuffings outta you again?" The first of the two men asked.
"Look..." their victim began, "I'm kind of bad at snap decisions, especially when my life hangs in the balance, how about a third alternative?"
The poor man was punched in the mouth again, as one of the men pointed to the accomplice with the gun. "That's your third option... now you better start talkin', you know what this is all about!"
"About... the dough..." Their victim said, coughing up blood as he spoke.
"The stuff you sold us is no good, man," the other man barked, "it's no good at all!"
"And you knew it the whole time, didn't you?" The first man asked.
Their hostage said nothing, so he was met with another fist of brass knuckles up the jaw again.
"Didn't you?!" He asked again.
"It's the best I could do," he wailed, "it's all I could get ahold of for the same price! You know how much the real stuff is these days?! Like nearly twice as much! What am I supposed to do about that?!"
"Not our problem." One of the men responded.
"We don't won't the cheap stuff," the other barked, "we want the real stuff!"
"I tried, I can't get that stuff anymore!" Their hostage pleaded.
"That's why if you can't give it to us, we want our scratch back!" One man said.
"I don't have it..." the hostage said.
"You hear that?!" The other man said. "This son-of-a-bitch done spent all our dough!"
"Let him have it!" The first man said to the accomplice with the gun.
"No!" Their hostage screamed. "I didn't spend it, I didn't spend any of it!"
"So then, where the hell is it?" The first man asked.
The hostage hesistated. "I don't know..." he lied.
"He's lyin'!" The second man said.
"Go ahead!" The first man said, as the accomplice cocked his pistol.
"Wait, wait, wait!" The hostage begged.
A silence fell over the room, as the men moved in closer on him, including the accomplice, as he literally pressed his pistol up against his temple.
"I... I left it in front of someone's house..." The hostage admitted.
"Who's?" They asked him.
"Like I know?" The hostage said. "I didn't ring the doorbell and find who the schmuck was who lived there, I just dropped it and ran!"
"Trying to get rid of our moolah, huh?" The second man asked.
"In a word, yes." The hostage said.
"Man, how retarded do you think we really are?!" The first man barked.
"Oh, I never thought you guys were retarded, I swear!" The hostage said.
"Well, you obviously don't think we're very smart either, do you?" The second man asked.
All the hostage did was squint his eyes shut, waiting for the trigger to be pulled.
"If we ain't gettin' the good stuff," the first man began, "then we're gettin' our money back... and you better get it for us... because if you don't, we not only gonna have to kill you, but anyone else who's had their mits on the money..."
The hostage gulped, as the pistol was drawn away. "Uh... h-h-how long do I have?"
"You?" The first man asked. "We don't trust you... not after you tried to cheat us..."
"So... what are you going to do?" The hostage asked.
"You're gonna drive us to wherever the hell it is you get rid of the cash, and you better hope they give it back to us, otherwise, it's gonna be worst day ever for them and you!" The first man said, as he snapped his fingers, signalling the accomplice to untie him from the chair. Once he was untied, the first man tossed his the keys to their SUV.