Kakashi woke up the next morning feeling anxious to meet the demon inside. It's been a while since Kakashi was last nervous, specifically when he ran after his two students after finding out that Sasuke went to Orochimaru. More so than battling the Akatsuki because for Kakashi, when he chased after Sasuke he felt like he had failed as a teacher and wanted to make it right, although that wasn't really an option.
In short, Kakashi was not feeling too good as he put on some clothes, went about his daily hygienic routine and headed down for some breakfast. Once he arrived at the kitchen he was met with the familiar face of Akio,
"Did you figure out what you're going to tell Kioshi today?" asked Akio
"Not really, but what's to plan? It's pretty straightforward" Kakashi shrugged "Hey guess what, I'm half-demon. What's there to it?"
"That's blunt" Akio noted "But whatever you want, it's better not to beat around the bush anyway but maybe deliver the news a bit more gently"
Kakashi didn't respond as he began eating some pancakes Izumi left out for them since she knew they were leaving early. Kakashi ate everything quickly as usual then looked at Akio in a gesture to imply that he was ready. However, for some reason Kakashi could not fathom, Akio just sat there staring outside the window in deep thought.
Kakashi didn't bother forcing the issue and sat quietly as well, waiting for Akio to start things up. After five minutes of complete silence Akio decided to speak up
"Well, whenever you're ready ask Kioshi to summon you." As soon as the words left Akio's mouth Kakashi began the summoning jutsu and soon enough he found himself face to face with his loyal friend, Kioshi the dragon.
"I'm going to be honest I didn't expect to see you for another two days or so" Kioshi greeted
"Nice to see you too" Kakashi replied and pbserved his surroundings glad to find that Kioshi was on her own, probably having a morning flight or something. He faced her again and explained "Change of plans. I have something I need to tell you"
"Well spit it out" Kioshi told him as she lay down and gave Kakashi a lazy nod
"I'm half-demon" he stated calmly waiting for her reaction. He studied her features trying to understand what she was feeling but noted that her only reply was a raised eye-brow
"Sorry, but there is no way that a pathetic creature, such as yourself, be compared to legendary beings, let alone be one." She replied "maybe your half dog or something"
"This is serious" he sighed. He expected Kioshi to burst out like Naruto would've done, but he was surprised at this calm Kioshi standing before him.
"So am I" she huffed "Demons are at league with us dragons, If you were half demon you would've at least been bigger or had certain physical features or something. I know for a fact that sealing doesn't affect your outer appearance but you're claiming to be half demon" she ended with a snort
"Why would I lie to you?" Kakashi asked in annoyance
"For the hell of it" Kioshi retorted
"Yea Akio let me come here to have a little bit of fun" Kakashi said sarcastically "and Naruto doesn't like ramen and you're very shy"
"Watch it" Kioshi growled starting to spread her wings in warning. Kakashi sighed and ran his hand through his hair in irritation.
"Come on, the sooner you understand this I can remove the seal and I can confront the White Wolf" Kakashi urged her
"The White Wolf?" Kioshi stared at him in shock "No way"
"What?" Kakashi asked her for a clarification
"Nothing it's just that its story is famous among dragons. Parents tell it to children so they won't venture outside for fun or an adventure. Humans can't be reasoned with and some of them are really strong so its best not to meddle with them is the moral"
"What's the story?" Kakashi asked curiously
"During an era where humans were increasing in numbers rapidly, the demons and dragons of the earth found themselves outnumbered by a lot. Yet, they paid no head since humans where much smaller, and so in default they figured weaker. At first they lived side by side however, territory wars soon broke out. The first and most major war between the two races, demon and humans, thus began. The White Wolf led the smaller army of demons against the humans however; the humans surprised all the creatures of the world when they demonstrated vast knowledge and power in the ninjutsu arts, especially sealing arts. Demons were being sealed left and right and at that point, the war reached its peak. During the war a lone ninja challenged one of the generals of the demons, The White Wolf's son, and sealed him away forever. The White Wolf was outraged and sought out this human himself. After a fearsome battle, the ninja managed to seal the White Wolf inside of himself gaining great power and a victory against the demons" Kioshi retold the story
"Heard the same story with much less detail" Kakashi said "Apparently that ninja was the founder of the Hatake Clan. His seal allowed for the White Wolf's chakara and will to spread among his descendants. Since I'm the only one left…" his face etched in worry
"You're the recreation of your ancestor" Kioshi completed his sentence looking at Kakashi in awe
"It sounds nice when you look at it like that" Kakashi snorted "Wait, so you believe me?"
"I can't see how you would know that name unless you knew" Kioshi explained "Apparently humans did not record history that far away so it's defiantly your clan's secret or something."
"And you're not freaked out or anything?" Kakashi asked for reassurance
Kioshi laughed deafeningly "I'm a dragon for crying out loud, equal to demons in strength yet have less chakra, I don't fear any demon nor one stupid enough to get sealed in humans for centuries"
"I wouldn't say it was stupid, just outmatched" Kakashi smirked at her in amusement
"Whatever" Kioshi shrugged a smile still present on her face "But no I still think you're a pathetic excuse of a human whom for some reason or another I call a friend"
"That's touching, really" Kakashi rolled his eyes "Great now to find Akio… Damn it he didn't tell me whether he'd be here or back at his compound"
"Let's just find Ryuu," Kioshi suggested "He'll know"
"Yea you're right" Kakashi nodded as he jumped onto her back and they flew away from the secluded area.
"It went well I hope" Akio asked as Kakashi slipped off Kioshi's back after flying for an hour or so. Kakashi stretched his muscles, nodded towards Akio and then observed his surroundings. Ryuu and Akio were also in a secluded area. Mountains surrounded him from all sides and the land seemed a bit dead compared to the abundance of nature he saw everywhere else.
"It's a special training area for those of us with fire affinity" Ryuu explained "I booked it for the day so you can have privacy"
"Thank you, Ryuu sama" Kakashi bowed down towards the elder dragon
"Any questions before I unseal it?" Akio asked indifferently. He was worried but he knew that Kakashi was worried much more than him so he adopted this relaxed nature in an attempt to comfort his apprentice
"Just one" Kakashi said "You keep saying unsealing it but wouldn't that run the risk of having the White Wolf overpower me and come free?"
"There are two things you need to understand about that" Akio replied "First of all, the only seal that can contain the White Wolf's demon as much as it has seals most of the White Wolf's power as well, as if it's sleeping. However, a seal that powerful works in one way only, completely shut. You can't decide how much of the White Wolf's chakra you want to seal so it's either blocking its power out completely or not having it at all."
"So you're going to remove it?" Kakashi couldn't conceal the worry from his voice
"Precisely" Akio nodded "But do not worry. The White Wolf can't take over you."
"Why not?" Kakashi asked
"Because it's not about strength or brute force, it's all about will. I told you, this thing is half of you and as such you're battling yourself, but not physically. Your emotions control which side of you dominates. Let's say you were extremely angry and your judgment clouds, then the White Wolf will take over, yet not completely. If the White Wolf is dominant for too long, then and only then will you lose yourself completely and the White Wolf returns to the world." Akio explained "Which is why it is imperative that you learn how to control your emotions. Of course, you already do to a great extent I have yet to see you lose your cool. However, doubt, grief and guilt also play a major role in this."
"I get how doubt and grief can help the White Wolf gain control, but guilt?" Kakashi asked in confusion
"When you're guilty, you seek the power to make things right, to make amends" Akio explained then he noticed Kakashi grow extremely concerned. As ninja, it is not strange to feel guilty for various things; in fact it comes with the territory. Yet somehow the concern and fear that flashed in Kakashi's eye back then gave Akio a bad feeling.
"It's natural to feel guilty, Kakashi" Akio tried to reassure him "Every ninja does from a reason, some more than others. You just need to learn how to deal with it"
"That's just it" Kakashi thought "I can't deal with it"
FLASHBACK
Kakashi was standing in front of the memorial rock in silence, listening to the rain patter around him.
"You do you feel the need to come here every day?" somebody asked him not far away. However, Kakashi was feeling a tad sluggish and decided not to answer. He tried to feel the chakra signal with his chakra but it wasn't responding to his will. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder in a comforting gesture yet Kakashi felt uncomfortable with the physical contact and batted the hand away half-heartedly. "Kakashi, let's get you inside somewhere, it's been raining for quite some time and I have a feeling you caught something."
Kakashi found himself being led away and lost consciousness soon after. When he woke up he was in the hospital feeling as if he just ran a marathon with Guy.
"Finally awake" the same voice asked him and Kakashi whipped around the find the Hokage looking at him with concern
"Hokage sama" Kakashi stammered and pushed himself up to a seated position
"Why do you feel the need to visit the stone every day?" the Hokage asked again
Kakashi looked away not wanting to answer that but the Hokage didn't comply with his wished and sat there waiting for an answer. Kakashi knew he had no choice but to answer so he drew in a breath and replied,
"It's my fault they died," he said quietly looking down at his hands and cursing his weakness "I just ask for forgiveness"
"It's not your fault" the Hokage said sternly "This is part of a shinobi's life, we need to learn how to deal with it and accept it."
Kakashi heard his words, but they didn't help in anyway. He knew people died, if the blood on his hands was any indicator. Yet knowing he had the power to save somebody and couldn't, that was what killed him. The Hokage realized that his words had no effect and sighed
"You are able to handle extreme training regimes, the life of an ANBU, torture and so much more, yet guilt seems to stomp you. Every ninja has his weakness, mental weakness that is, yours is guilt. Knowing that is the first step towards learning how to deal with, accepting it and moving on." The Hokage lectured "I can't give you the answer on how to deal with it, you must find that yourself, but I'm always here if you need somebody to talk to."
This time his words seemed to haven to given the young ANBU something to think about. Satisfied that he helped Kakashi with the first step he began to make his exit.
END FLASHBACK
"Problem is that I never really found out how to deal with guilt" Kakashi's thoughts did little to reassure him
"Don't worry" Akio's voice bought him out of his musings, "I'm here to beat some sense into you if it came to that"
Kakashi smiled a bit and took a deep breath; eyes filled with hesitance were replaced with determination "I'm ready"
"Then let's begin" Akio smiled.