Disclaimer: I do not own the show or the characters. I just really love them. In fact, I'm addicted to the show. Story is mine! Back off you…you...GARR!

The Thought of Losing and Loving You

"C'mon, Mac. We might as well tell 'im now," Harm said gently, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her close.

"Tell me what…?" AJ asked curiously but cautiously.

"N-nothing!" Mac said, shaking her head and backing away from them.

"Hey," Harm whispered gently, pulling her closer, rubbing her back soothingly. "C'mon, we've gotta tell them sometime. They know us too well to miss that something's changed." He kissed her gently on the head and she leaned against him as the room started to spin again. He turned to AJ. "I don't want her going to Afghanistan." He said simply.

"Harm!" Mac exclaimed looking at him shocked.

"Why?" The Admiral asked, though he didn't have to.

"It's too dangerous," Harm said simply.

"Harm, can I talk to you for a minute?" Mac asked, already pulling him into the bathroom, despite not being able to see straight. "What the hell?" she asked locking the door and turning to him.

"What?"

"Why don't you want me to go?"

"Coz…"

"Coz what?"

"…Never mind."

"H-Harm," she said weakly, leaning against the door.

"Mac?" Harm said stepping closer to her, worried at the sudden paleness of her skin and weakness in the strong Marine's voice.

He would have gone right up to her if she hadn't given him a look that made him stop in his tracks about four inches away. "Harm, please, don't lie to me." He took her in his arms as she feel forward. She leaned her head against his strong chest. "Please, tell me." She said weakly.

"Alright," he sighed. "It's- It's because I love you," he whispered quietly, kissing her softly on the neck.

"Harm, I love you too, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't go with you to help that little boy's mother get her child back," she said looking up at him with those gorgeous hazel eyes.

"But it's dangerous."

Mac pulled away from him. "No more than when you go fly one of you're precious Tomcats in a mission."

"That's not the point. This is different."

"Why? Coz I'm a woman?"

"Noh, Mac, c'mon, you know that's not what I meant." He said reaching out for her hand.

"Then what, Harm?" Mac asked desperately.

"Ya really wanna know?" He asked.

"Yes."

"It's just… I- I just can't bear the thought of losing you." He said with tears in his eyes.

"Oh, baby…"

"It's just, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"Harm, you are not going to lose me," she said reaching up and stroking his hair.

"I know, but… It's just that… I feel like every time I get close to someone, something takes them away from me. And the fact that there's an old saying about how history always repeats itself, and with you looking so much like- well… I can't help but think… I'd kill myself if I lost you too." Mac knew he meant it, not only from the sad, lost, look in his eyes (a look that showed someone who was begging to be understood), but also from the fact that he was actually letting tears fall. Her strong, tough, flyboy, oh, how she loved him.

"Hey, I've gone on more dangerous missions before. I'll be fine," she said gently, wiping away the tears. She chuckled. "Hell, I'd probably be better off there than if you left me here. I wouldn't stop worrying about you." She fell against his chest and he caught her as her legs gave out.

"I'm sorry," Harm said to her. "Mac? You're scaring me. You need to go to bed." He added when she didn't reply. He scooped her up and opened the door. He wasn't surprised to find AJ gone. He carried her to "their" room (God how he loved calling it that) and laid her down on the bed.

"Harm?" Mac called weakly.

"I'm here," he said gently, as he helped her when she struggled to stand up. She stood up and leaned against him. "Are you ok?" he asked stroking her hair.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she said gazing into his baby blue eyes which were filled with love and concern. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. God, don't let it end, she thought to herself as he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. Just then he pulled away.

"I'm sorry. Are you sure you're ok?" he asked looking deep into her hazel eyes, not wanting to push her when she was already weak.

"Better than I was a minute ago," she smiled and gazed into his eyes. "I love you flyboy."

"I love you too Sarah. I love you so much." He pulled her close and this time didn't pull away.

**Okay, kinda cheesy but I was in a bad mood and missing someone special (a friend) a lot, so poured my feelings into this. I also came up with it on the spot. Don't hate me for not updating sooner…I can't very often but will try and get metaldragon64 to do so for me whenever possible. So 'till next time, have a great summer. Oh, and check out my one-shot called a letter from daddy. It's a bit OOC coz I wanted it to be a sort of alternate reality, a what-if kinda thing. So, check it out, and pass the news of me having not 1, but 2 new chapters, on. REVIEW!!!!! Please **