Chapter 5 – The Reaping
-Elena-
Just like me, my mom started writing when she was a girl. I've meant to go through her journal to learn about her as a teenager and a young woman, but I've just not found the time… or maybe I'm afraid it'll make me miss her even worse than I do.
Caroline is using her Iphone to take pictures of the pictures that we've found so far, while Bonnie and I flip through the journals. I like how my mom stashed related photographs in with her journal entries – it makes her memories seem so real, easily imagined, like I'm living them with her.
"Awe, listen to this!" Bonnie sighs through a smile, "Elena came home from school this afternoon with a chip on her shoulder for Caroline. It appears as though the two of them had a falling out over who was going to marry Matt Donovan." Caroline and I laugh at the same time, remembering our big blow up in third grade.
"Didn't we stake it all on who he sat by during lunch that day?" Caroline asks
I nod, still laughing. "And I still say you only won because you're mom packed you a rice krispy treat and all I had was a PB&J."
"You know what they say," Caroline's voice is light as she reaches for another journal from the box, "the way to a mans heart is through his stomach."
"Look at how cute he was!" Bonnie shows me a pic of nine year old Matt Donovan – his pee-wee league football picture – before handing it over to Caroline to capture with her phone.
"We should take all of this downstairs and go through it." Caroline suggests, "This one is from her senior year in high school!"
My mom at eighteen – I bet she was handling the movement into adulthood a lot better than I did. By that time I was heartbroken, playing both sides with the Salvatore brothers, and still a little unsure about whether or not I should keep fighting at all. The idea of giving myself over to Klaus seemed so much easier than to keep fighting – I'd lost so many people by then… but looking at us now, my two best friends laughing about another picture they'd found of us on our way to our first co-ed dance in middle school, I'm so glad that I pushed on. I kept fighting, just like Stefan asked me to when we spent that weekend at the lakehouse – at the time I thought he was being ridiculous, suggesting we might actually make it out.
"Come on." Bonnie's voice pulls me from my thoughts of how we had nearly lost each other, all of us, so many times. "Grab that box."
Shaking my head to get my mind refocused, I smile and do as she says though I'm still quiet by the time we make it back into the kitchen. It's a good thing though, other wise I wouldn't have picked up on Klaus' near-whisper to Stefan as Katherine walked away.
"You're an oak, my friend." That's what Klaus said to him – a wicked smile on his face, watching the three of us pass and giving a quick raise of his eyebrows when he spotted Caroline.
Something is wrong – Stefan's upset, angry maybe? I could feel it radiating between us the moment I stepped into the house – the pushing against my lungs doubled when I locked eyes with Stefan, making my way to the living room with the boxes.
XXXXXXX
You're an oak. What does that mean? An oak… Strong? Sturdy?
I've been trying to figure out the relevance of that statement for more than an hour now. I wasn't able to check in with Stefan as Caroline and Bonnie quickly started in on the journals and he and Klaus headed out to check on the fire for the clambake. I'll forget about it, reading through my mom's journals or while laughing at some silly picture of one of us, but then just like a tidal wave I remember the jumping on the back, the kisses to his face, the close stance, the sweet embrace – all set to a soundtrack of Klaus' voice saying You're an oak, my friend.
"Mommy, look, it's Uncle Jeremy!" Allie giggles. She loves to look at family pictures and she's weaved her way into the girls group pretty easily. "He looks like Grayson!"
"No kidding!" Caroline agrees, showing Allie another picture of Jer. They're sitting cross-legged in the floor while Bonnie is on the couch with a sleeping Liam to one side of her and a drowsy Lola on the other.
"Did you know your parents broke up right before college?" Bonnie asks in a quiet, easy tone as not to rouse the twins. I shake my head no, prompting her to tell me more. Reading directly from one of the journals, Bonnie says, "Grayson broke up with me – or maybe I broke up with him for being so insecure. Either way, Grayson is being ridiculous, I've told him over and over that there is nothing between him and I, but he's jealous none-the-less and we really had it out this morning.
Grayson has to report for practice on Monday, so he's leaving for Charlottesville tonight instead of going with the rest of us on the fifteenth – apparently an extra six days of practice will make a difference (whatever you say, Coach!). I guess Lee told him about seeing me with him last night and Grayson acted like I'd done something wrong by playing a game of pool! I mean sure, he's got that bad boy way about him – very Patrick Swayze (Roadhouse, not Dirty Dancing)… but it doesn't mean anything. I LOVE GRAYSON. It doesn't matter how blue his eyes are or how persistent he is. "
"Ohhhh, Mrs. Miranda had a secret admirer!" Caroline teases as she puts Allie's hair in pigtails.
"I had no idea!" I smile, intrigued by the idea that my parents who had always appeared to have it all together, all the time – solid as a rock – had their own little triangle to deal with.
Bonnie has flipped a few pages forward and starts to read again as Stefan and Jeremy move past us and into the kitchen. I smile up at him when he runs his hand against my shoulder and leaves a kiss on my hair – a sweet, passing gesture to let me know he's happy that I'm happy.
"They meet up again?" Caroline asks in a restrained gasp, trying not to disturb the twins.
I guess I missed something while I was watching Stefan in the kitchen – sad that I was missing our 'couple time' while he cooks. Usually, I'd be in there helping… we'll I'd be in there assisting if necessary – I'm no good in the kitchen! I am having a great time with Bonnie and Caroline, but my time with Stefan still feels precious, even after being together for as long as we have. Maybe I'm gun-shy, like some kind of post-traumatic stress, but sometimes in the back of my mind it feels like the time Stefan and I have together is limited – like at any moment the other shoe could drop and our peaceful life here in Thailand will all be shattered.
"What? Read that again." I ask over Jeremy's voice telling us to come on out – "everything's nearly ready, no thanks to you all." Jeremy teases, tossing a hand towel at Bonnie before following Stefan out with the cooler of drinks, adding "That's okay, Stefan's a great housewife!"
"The next night, you're mom met him" Caroline says 'him' like it's a plague, "at The Grille and they went to a party together!"
I'm shocked – like really surprised and I want to know more about this mystery guy and how long my parents stayed broken up, but Bonnie needs me to carry Lola to their bedroom while she carries Liam, and Caroline starts out to the beach with Allie.
-Stefan-
So I've loosened up a bit, thanks to the Thai-basil Sangrias that Caroline put together – mine is less mixed drink, more straight brandy, but it's doing the job. I know I'd planned not to drink, but after Katherine pulled her little stunt I needed to calm down.
Just try to have a good time, for me. That's what Elena said yesterday in the market when we were still alone in our secluded life and had a few more hours before anyone invaded it. Invaded is a harsh word, but that's how it feels to me.
The clambake went down pretty well, actually. The fire pit is burning down to small, harmless flames and embering logs, the seaweed folded to side, dehydrated. I don't know how long we've been sitting out here, but we started just as the afternoon was turning to evening and now there is just a cuticle of purple left on the black-ocean horizon. I'm at the end of the table and count four, no six, magnum-size bottles of Pinot Noir, many bottles of Singha beer, what's left of the large glass pitcher of sangria, two empty bottles of whiskey shared by Damon, Jeremy, and Klaus, and the brandy – half full – next to me. Needless to say, the lot of us are drunk, less me and Caroline, and Elena hasn't had but a couple classes of the sangria.
She's sitting at the opposite end of the table with Allie nearly asleep in her lap, still picking at her food, every few minutes sending a sweet, soothing look down my way. I know I've said this before, but she is truly beautiful. The ease in which she smiles, the way she giggled with glittering tears in her eyes at Caroline's announcement, now holding our sleepy little girl in her lap and gently rocking her as she listens to Jeremy and Bonnie giving tips to the expecting parents – Elena is simply, the most stunning woman I've ever seen.
"Oh gosh, I can't wait to get Grayson out of diapers!" Elena comments after Jeremy tells Klaus about the less glamorous side of being a father.
"Ten times? Really?" Klaus' eyes are wide, a disbelieving smile on his face. "In a single day?"
"Yes." Bonnie gives him a serious, get ready for it look, "sometimes more."
Damon takes a swig of brandy or whiskey maybe, I'm not sure which he's drinking now that we're running low, then gives a near slur when he says, "Maybe you'll get lucky and get a stay at home wife like Stefan over here."
Again with the stay at home wife jokes…
Like I said, pretty much everyone is drunk and of course, they find that hilarious, but it's getting just a little old. It began just as soon as I started cooking. You're a stay at home Dad? I still don't know why Jeremy would say that like I'd just admitted to being a cross-dresser. Yes. I'm a stay at home dad – Elena wants to work, she can work. I've had nearly two hundred years to live – I get to experience the only thing I'd missed out on, while Elena is able to have her dream job. So what, do you wear an apron and those little dishwashing gloves? Stefan Salvatore, the French maid! Yes Damon. That's exactly what I do.
I guess I'm not laughing like the rest of the group – not as drunk and never being too good at being the butt of the joke. Damon notices and quips, "Oh come on now brother, no need to get all broody on us." Another drink of whatever amber alcohol he's working on, "Is it that time? Are you menstrual?"
Roaring laughter. It goes on a bit… Jeremy is nearly out of breath. It's that funny, I guess.
I give Caroline a quick look, accidentally. She can't help me with this. Klaus is in on it too and its not a good idea for her to move against him.
"I've never understood your quick change, Stefan." Klaus chuckles, his hand high on Caroline's thigh, the other grabbing my shoulder and giving me a shake as I tear my eyes off of my brothers face in order to look at Klaus. "One day you're ripping it up in Chicago with my sister and the next you're basically Elena's lapdog."
More laughter… less enthusiastic than before - the mentioning of me 'ripping' and Klaus' sister, Rebekah, must be a little sobering.
Elena stands up, adjusting Allie, now asleep, on her shoulder.
"I can take her." I offer, starting to stand – I'm more than happy to leave this conversation – but Elena just shakes her head no and starts towards the house. My eyes follow her as far as I can without actually getting up from the seat – longing to go with her and lock all the doors once we're inside, alone.
"I've wondered that myself." Katherine sighs, leaned back in her chair, watching her bare feet making circles in the sand. I think she's still pissed off at Klaus and Jeremy for telling Allie to call her great-grandma Kathy.
I try really hard to hear if maybe Grayson is crying – consider lying and saying I need to use the restroom. I'd start picking up the plates and cleaning up, but that would ensue another laugh riot. Through a fake smile – the same smile I've had for most of the dinner – I say, "I don't guess I know what you're asking, why did I stop killing people?"
"Stefan." Damon should probably be cut off, but Katherine is refilling their tumblers as he leans over to me. "They want to know how you became Elena's little bitch?"
That fake smile, it's slipped away and I'm glaring at Damon and considering throwing him out of the chair he's in, but Bonnie tosses an empty clam shell at him – scolding him in that tone of hers that has always had a way of making me feel like my teacher had just gotten on to me. Damon just laughs it off, rubbing his forehead where the shell hit him.
"You are kind of whipped, Stefan." Jeremy adds, playfully cringing away from Bonnie. "She's my sister, and I love her, ya know, but you let her push you around."
"Elena doesn't push me around." My voice is flat, a false-calm tone as I stack a couple of the empty dishes up and remember Elena's request that I try to have a good time… for her.
Katherine gives a fake gasp, "Realize he didn't deny letting her boss him. He just clarified that she doesn't abuse him."
I don't respond, just give her a quick, warning glance. She's pretty liquored up and much more courageous than earlier – instead of backing down, she cuts a look right back at me.
"That's why Elena and I could'a never'ah worked." Damon tells the group, leaning onto the table and giving a serious face like he's discussing facts, one hand wrapped around his new full tumbler while the other bobs up and down while he speaks. "Elena likes to be the boss. She likes her man to wimp out and bow down and let her do whatevvvver she wants."
"Oh shut up, Damon." Caroline finally speaks up – cutting her eyes to me for a moment and I shake my head 'no' lightly, letting her know this isn't a big deal. I'm fine. Don't get yourself into hot water with Klaus over me. Still she continues, "You and Elena didn't work out because you're an ass."
When the laughing kicks up, I actually join in on it this time. They aren't going to understand and that's okay – they can cut into me if they want, but this is what works for Elena and I. I've been able to provide to her all that she's asked – from the house to the cars, a perfect little family and the ability to continue to work… I'm not at all uncomfortable in my role.
It's hard to explain, but I can feel Elena coming back from the house even before I notice Bonnie and Damon looking over my shoulder.
Going back to her seat at the opposite end and sipping from her glass, Elena says in a half laugh, "What did I miss?" like when you're coming in at the tail-end of a joke but don't want to be the only person who doesn't get it.
"Oh we've covered a lot, Sweetheart." Klaus laughs. "I fear you've missed far too much."
She looks at me with her nose wrinkled up – just adorable – while our drunk guests proceed to laugh a bit more.
-Elena-
I'm regretting hanging around in the house for so long – I put Allie to bed, checked in on Grayson and the twins, gathered up my mothers things and put them in our bedroom, then started back out, but my curiosity got the best of me and I sat down with the journal Bonnie had read out of. I read a few more entries and it looks like my mother actually had a full on romance with some guy while my dad was off at spring training before the football season started up! I mean, it only lasted a couple of days – my mom's freshman year started and she had to leave 'him'. Apparently, she had a pretty tearful goodbye with him the night before she left for school! The last line of that day's entry was "I may never see sapphire eyes like his again, but I have to let him go. For a thousand reasons, he's wrong for me. It's hard to love two guys when one is all right and the other is all wrong, but your heart can't bare the weight of hurting either of them."
Until I spotted Stefan and saw his tense body and felt that odd discomfort that I get when he's bothered or frustrated, I was thinking of how nice it would have been to have my mom around when I was going through my very own love-triangle with a guy that was all right and another that was all wrong – I bet she would have had the perfect advice to give me…
"What'd I miss?" I ask, hoping I don't sound as nervous as I feel – maybe Im just anxious for the night to be over so I can go and read more of my mothers journals, but I feel like something may have gone wrong while I was inside. Even through Stefan's faux-smile, I know he's feeling a bit peeved – from the looks of Damon's glassy, intoxicated eyes, I can guess who the instigator is.
Klaus answers me – says something to brush me off and calls me sweetheart in the sickeningly sweet tone that he uses when he's feeling macho – but I'm not really listening. Stefan's looking at me like he does… that way. The way that makes me forget what's going on around me. The way that gives a burn to his eyes that I can feel against my skin – In an effort to keep my witts about me, I give him a goofy look; scrunching up my nose and furrowing my brow a bit.
"We were talking about babies." Bonnie smiles, standing to gather some of the empty dishes.
Stefan, always the gentleman, immediately interjects – "Bonnie, sit. I've got all this." He says with that smile of his – the one that could put Prince Charming to shame – beginning to gather up a couple of the plates around him. His dark green eyes quickly meet my brown and I wonder if he can feel how proud of him I am – my magnificently sexy husband.
"Yea Bon-bon," Damon's voice is wobbly and I consider telling him to go easy on his drink when he tosses the rest of it back, "that's woman's work…" Turning to Stefan, he sits his glass down hard on top of the stack in Stefan's hands. "Here ya go, little lady."
His name comes from my lips the same way I've said Allie's name a thousand times before when she's being disorderly. "Damon!"
I'm surprised that she hears me through Klaus, Jeremy, and Damon's cackling laughter, but Katherine quickly puts me in my place. "Oh leave him alone, Elena. You're not his mommy."
Before I can respond, Jeremy leans towards me and speaks too loudly – a sign that he's drunk, "We're trying to figure out when Stefan lost his mancard."
Lost his mancard? Stefan Salvatore?
"Sorry?" I force out a chuckle so that I don't sound quite as pissed.
"Oh come on, sit down." Damon frowns at Stefan and they have a short-lived stare down before he adds something about him ruining the night by trying to leave and Stefan reluctantly takes his seat.
"How has he lost his mancard?" I ask again, this time louder and through a frown that I'm trying to pass off as a smile. Stefan can tell I'm not particularly happy with the topic and says my name softly with a shake of his head.
As if he's trying to block me from seeing Stefan, Damon leans far onto the table and says to me, "Don't be stupid, Elena." I shrug as if to say, what?! "You've done nothing but boss him around since the day you met him."
"And how's that?" I ask, not really all that concerned with my tone any more. Honestly I'm not all that bothered by them calling me bossy, but it's ridiculous to think that Stefan is somehow emasculated because he doesn't force me into doing what he thinks I should.
Klaus gives a laugh, "Well for one, the poor bloke wasn't even allowed to nourish himself properly."
I look at him like he's just told me the world is flat. Stefan must be able to tell that it's getting to me, as I hear him say "They're drunk, let it go." And Caroline adds, "Let's change the subject."
Damon ignores the suggestion, "And all the stupid decisions that you made him go along with. Remember before the ritual with Klaus, you were going to drink that thousand year old holy water or whatever – the stuff Elijah gave you. Remember that? Stefan's all," Damon changes his slurry voice into a whining, high pitched tone, "whatever Elena wants even if it kills her or kills me or if the whole damn town gets turned into a cemetery, so long as Elena doesn't get mad at me"
"Yea, if it weren't for Bonnie you'd of woken up a vampire!" Jeremy laughs like this is a joke. Damon and Klaus and him talking to Stefan like he's beneath them because he treats me with respect.
"You're right, Jeremy." I turn to my brother, "Stefan should have let Damon finish feeding me his blood and break my neck before Bonnie even had a chance to do the spell with John."
"That's not what I mean." Jeremy tries to correct himself, no longer laughing now that he realizes what he was saying was ignorant. Stefan let me decide what to do about the Sun and the Moon Ritual because I had two options – die or be a vampire, and it takes a strong man to let the woman they love choose death… unlike Damon.
Damon rolls his eyes and sits back in his chair, "Even in Wilmington he was a being pussy!"
"Watch your mouth, Damon." Stefan glares at his brother, speaking in a low, too-calm-to-be-good voice.
I get a good look at Stefan and know he's having trouble staying in his seat. From the flexed neck to the lowered brow and lips pursed to a straight line, Stefan hasn't been this angry in… well, since the last time we were with our friends, I guess.
Before Damon can say anything else, I stand up in an effort to break their building tension - the last thing I want is a Salvatore brother fight, no matter if its tradition or not. "You think he was being weak? By letting me do what I felt was best?" How can they not realize the strength it took for Stefan to trust me? "Nearly every time, Stefan knew he was going to get hurt if I was wrong, but he still trusted me and you think that was weak?"
Damon does his raised eyebrows, big blue eyes thing that he does when he's being crude – "All I'm saying is, if you would'a been my girl, none of that shit would have happened at all."
"Oh, and how's that?" Caroline asks, sounding just as angry as me.
I notice that all the laughing has stopped – our fun clambake where the kids played in the sand and Stefan and a-still-sober-Damon sat around the bonfire drinking and joking is over - three hours later the real topics have suddenly come to the surface.
"I would have turned her." He snaps his fingers, "and like that, Klaus would'a been out of the picture."
The push/pull thing that Stefan and I share, it's so strong right now – literally tugging at me and I start moving towards him without realizing it.
-Caroline-
"You still don't get it, do you, Damon?" Elena asks him without taking her eyes off of Stefan – they've got these matching smiles like they're the only ones in on the joke, like they share a huge secret.
You know what it's like when you're watching a romantic movie and the big scene is coming up – where the lead finally fesses up to loving their best friend or their co-worker or their sworn enemy or whatever? That feeling in the air that makes you want to love on the person next to you or really squeeze into your pillow, longing for your own real-life romantic comedy? With Elena standing next to Stefan, leaning against him with her hand on the back of his head and his arm loosely around her hips, his thumb grazing up and down on the bare skin above the waist of her shorts, I lean into Klaus without thinking about it – I don't know if Klaus realizes it, but he's resting his head on mine as we watch Elena and Stefan, our very own romantic comedy, looking at each other like they just might catch fire from the invisible heat between them.
"Besides the fact that he's gorgeous," Elena laughs, tossing her hair back as the cool wind blows in on us. The smile on Stefan's face widens as he looks up at her – I swear, that guy knows how to look at a girl and make her knees weak. I've never been on the receiving end of it, even when he and I 'dated', but anyone can see the effect he has on Elena. "Stefan has a brilliant mind," She runs her other hand through the short hair above his ear, then holds his face in her hands. "He's an amazing father, my very best friend - amazing in bed." She teases and Stefan sweeps her onto his lap. They laugh like the six of us aren't even here – like this candle lit table is set for two instead of eight. I'm beginning to wonder if Elena's speech is for Damon or if it's some sort of foreplay. Sliding her hands down his shoulders, gently squeezing his biceps, Elena says "And he's the strongest man I've ever known. Even though he knew he might lose me, he gave me the only thing I needed to make it through those years…" With the way she keeps looking at his mouth and the hungry look on his face, I almost turn away. I mean, it's getting way intense between them. For God's sake, I'm starting to want to kiss them! "Stefan gave me control of my life when everyone else was stealing it away." Stefan moves like he's about to kiss her, his hand cupping the back of her head, fingers weaved into her hair, but he stops himself just short. "I belong to Stefan."
I can't take it anymore – my eyes move away from them and over the table to find Damon and Katherine glaring at them, Bonnie and Jeremy cuddling and smiling with that same romantic-comedy-movie happiness on their faces. When they both look away simultaneously, I know that Stefan and Elena must be finally making out… Elena's back of the throat, half-sigh, half-moan tells me I'm right.
-Stefan-
I know you probably think I'm being melodramatic when I say that the second she smiled at me, whatever frustration I was feeling with the line of conversation regarding my choice to let Elena live her own life disappeared, but it's true. It's the effect she has on me – or maybe it's that frequency that we share. Something about the way it reverberates into my muscles calms me down when I'm angry and, when she kisses me like she just did, it ramps me up to a tightly wound, overzealous state of desire.
I want her. Badly. Maybe worse than I ever have and that's saying a lot.
Damon might have been getting a little out of hand, but it started off light. They were just screwing with me the way guys do – it's part of being a guy and having a bunch of guys knowing too much of your business. I could have put a stop to it at any time, but I was trying to go with Elena's request for me to have a good time… she bites my bottom lip when I pull away from our kiss and I have to say, I'm glad that I let their heckling continue!
That kiss and her sweet, soul-crushing moan into mouth, it could've been the start of something incredible. I'm tempted to pick her up and toss her over my shoulder, caveman-like, but I remind myself that this is her night with her brother and her girlfriends. I keep my eyes closed for a long moment, forcing my longing for her back into that tight pit in my stomach, but when I open them I find Elena's dark, endless eyes looking into mine with a sexy, mischievous sparkle about them. Teasing, she leans into to kiss me again – I think she's checking to see if I'd let her and I don't move a muscle, fully willing to continue on – but Elena presses her teeth into the soft, ruby flesh of her bottom lip and stands up from my lap.
The table has started up a conversation, but Bonnie calls to Elena when she trails her fingers down my arm and leaves me tense and turned on and watching my body's only relief walking back towards the house.
-Bonnie-
"Where are you going?" I have to speak loudly as Jeremy and Damon are debating football versus rugby with Klaus, while Caroline plays on her phone and Stefan watches Elena walking away like she's just taken all the oxygen out of his lungs.
The way they are around each other makes me smile, so happy that Elena made it to the life that she deserves. I've always liked Stefan – even when he was a vampire – but human Stefan is so easy to be around and I love how he adores my best friend.
Not stopping, but turning around and walking backwards, Elena giggles and responds to me while looking at Stefan, "I'm going to take a shower." Then crosses her arms over her stomach and in a quick motion pulls off her top, revealing her apple green bikini top and the body she's always had – toned and curvy and not a sign of two pregnancies on her flat stomach. In a very flirty tone, she gives Stefan a playful challenge when she says, "First one to the bathroom wins?"
Stefan stands up and nods at us with an excited look on his face, his voice a little scratchy when he says, "You guys know your way out, right?" then takes off in a full sprint, kicking sand up behind his long strides chasing after a giggling, tipsy Elena.
"GO ELENA!" Caroline yells with her hands cupped around her mouth, Klaus cheering on Stefan and the rest of us just laughing at the ridiculousness of them.
I'm pretty sure she lets herself get caught; Elena doesn't even get to the steps of the deck before Stefan catches her and she's squealing like a teenager when he tosses her over his shoulder like she's weightless and gives her bottom a playful swat.
Caroline, Klaus, Jeremy, and I are still laughing when they disappear into the house and Katherine says in an annoyed tone, "Well. That was adoreable."
Poor Katherine. Poor Damon. I think sometimes Stefan and Elena forget that they aren't the only ones who've had a rough go, ya know. They've been through just as much, but have much less support! Not to mention they're both kind of damaged. Caroline starts in on Katherine and how she shouldn't be so rude, but I know the truth behind Katherine's irritation and put my arm around her shoulders, rest my head against hers to let her know I care.
She's been so worried about coming for this trip – It's hard to ignore something is wrong when you're looking at a perfect version of what you should be, Bonnie. She and Damon are struggling as is and even though I thought she was absurd for thinking being here would make their problems seem magnified, I now see what she means. Especially about the kids…
-Elena-
"The windows." I say. I think I say it. I don't know if he can understand me – with his mouth sucking at the skin just below my ear and those rough hands of his grabbing at me, pulling my leg up around his waist – the weight of him pressing against me – I'm much too vocal and much too lost in the million sensations I'm experiencing to be sure if the words are actually audible.
Stefan sits back on his calves and pulls of his shirt – that Greek God body of his stuns my lungs in place as my eyes trail down him like I've never seen him before. "Leave it." He says in a rough whisper, sliding his arm beneath me and pulling me onto his lap, my legs straddling him, and his mouth finding mine in hard, hungry kisses that set me on fire, tensing the muscles in the lowest low of my torso.
"Stefan." I say his name in between kisses, fearful that I'm about to be had by Stefan Salvatore like never before with an audience to witness me coming undone.
"Hmm?" It's not really a verbal response, just a deep vibration from his mouth and into my body as he kisses and licks and sucks down my neck, my chest, between my breasts – all the while I'm fighting to stay conscious to reality. It's so hard not to get lost in him and the way he makes lose control.
With his callused hand against my back, my body uncontrollably arches into his when he unties my bikini top and I've almost forgot what I'm trying to say – that we need to shut the windows and turn off the light if we don't want an audience. Laying us back onto the bed, I've got his earlobe between my teeth and his solid body pressing hard against my most sensitive areas when I hear Caroline or Bonnie give a loud belly laugh from afar.
"Wait, Stefan." It's a moan, I know, but what can I do? We've barely got started and I'm already breathless and overheating.
He stops – basically freezing in place – he heard the laugh too and now gets what I was saying about the windows. In a quick, fluid motion, Stefan pushes himself off of me and off of our bed – a determined look on his smiling face when he holds his hand out to me and says, "You, do not move."
Covering my giggle with my fingers, I watch my shirtless, Roman sculpture moving quickly to get back to me – to make love to me the way only he can. The entire exterior wall of our large bedroom is made up of four wide windows and I get to watch the muscles of his back and shoulders role beneath his warm, olive skin, his cut arms flexing with each movement – each passing second building the anticipation in my body.
When he closes up the last one and turns to find me on the bed, eagerly waiting for him on my knees, he gives me his beautiful champion smile when he looks me over, saying, "Didn't I tell you not to move?"
I laugh, anxious. Dying to have him! For him to have me! He knows what he's doing to me – now moving slowly towards the bed with his emerald eyes burning into me, making me shiver from the heat of his gaze.
Climbing onto the bed in the same position as me – both of us topless, on our knees – just a couple of feet between us and being squeezed by the gravity we share, Stefan's voice sounds so soothing, so warm when he says, "I love you," those burning eyes of his trailing down me, then back to meet my brown. "So much."
I'm kind of caught off guard – he's gone from a very playful, Naughty Stefan to an incredibly sweet, romantic version in less than a second. I'm about to respond, tell him that I love him too and that I feel so lucky to be his wife, but he's switched back to Naughty Stefan and grabs the backs of my thighs with his hands, pulling my legs out from under me and I fall onto my back as a loud, unexpected laugh comes from my mouth instead.
Moments later, my fingers are fisting in his hair and breathy, begging sounds are escaping my lips from the pure ecstasy of his hot mouth on my inner thighs when Grayson's cry breaks our reverie.
I don't know why – frustrated with our luck of being interrupted I guess – but I laugh, both of my hands on my face and Stefan nearly collapsed on my stomach.
"You've got to be kidding me." He groans, his scratchy, unshaven face against my bare skin feels amazing… not that it matters now.
"He's gonna wake up the twins…" I warn. Stefan looks up at me and I see him put together what I'm saying – if Grayson wakes up the twins, then there's no way we'll be able to pick this back up anytime soon – and he hops off the bed, fastening his shorts and moving towards the door.
"I'll go." I offer, rolling onto my stomach.
"Nope. You stay there." He smiles, leaning onto the bed and kissing my lips slowly once, then a second kiss a bit quicker before moving away. "This. is. happening."
Laughing, I say, "Yes sir." Then he exhales a frustrated sigh before leaving me in waiting.
I don't know how long I lay there listening to the laughing and inaudible tones of the voices of my family still having drinks on the beach, but I start to get sleepy, my eyelids feeling quite heavy and my body relaxing nearly to the point of sleep. Deciding to close them for just a moment – just to rest for a second – I see Stefan's disappointed face in my minds eye and decide I need to stay awake. Hopping back onto my knees, my eyes land on my mothers journal and once again, curiosity takes over.
By the time Stefan makes it back from putting Grayson back to sleep, I'm wearing his shirt and sitting in the armchair by his desk, curled into a tight ball and reading about this 'timeless romance' my mother had during a six day break up with my father.
"Oh no." Stefan groans, his face lax, aggravated. When I start reading a book or a manuscript for work, it's very difficult for me to stop until I'm finished… him finding me with a book in my hands is not a good sign as far as he's concerned.
I smile at him apologetically. "It's my mother's journal. I've only got a few more pages." Furrowing his brow, Stefan runs his hand through his hair, then rests his hands on his waist. "I swear, just five minutes."
Pressing a heavy exhale through his nose, he says, "Five minutes?" I nod, smiling – seriously, he's adorable – "I'm going to shower, then you and me," he motions with his hand between us, "this is happening. I swear to God, Elena, I'm going to burst into flames if I have to have you any longer."
He's joking, I know – but still, he's kinda not. I've been kind of a prude lately, so I'm sure my flirty behavior last night, then just a bit early, is really causing him some pressure.
"Yes. Shower, then we'll reconvene." I laugh as he kicks off his shorts and heads into the bathroom, "Wouldn't want you to spontaneously combust." Then turn back to my mom's journal entries to try and learn more about her mystery man… She's yet to say his name and I don't know why I need to know who it is so badly, but I'm determined to figure it out.
We met at his house. I know. What am I doing? Why am I still spending time with him? My parents would kill me if they knew what I was doing with this him – the way he touches me, how he talks to me - it's like no other boy ever has. But then again, he's not a boy is he? I think it's his confidence that does it, that makes me want to learn everything there is to know about him – his brother, his ex-girlfriend, his shady past. It doesn't hurt that he's so good looking - beautiful like no other man… but then again…
Miranda, what has gotten into you? There's no future here. Your future is with Grayson – that's what I keep telling myself. Over and over, chanting it in my mind on my way down hwy 177 to go to his house. Parking my car. Walking up to his door. Ringing the brass bell at the entry way. But then there he his, smiling at me like he does, looking at me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world – raised eyebrows and sapphire eyes. Then the next thing I know, he's asking me if I'd like to stay the night, kissing me goodbye when I resist, and I'm worn out from making love writing in my journal about a tenuous romance that is destined to end badly.
I hear Stefan step out of the shower, the water now off, as I turn the page, a loose piece of off-white paper falling to my lap. It's a poem…
The reaping of a soul, it is a harvest you know,
Bringing up your past for what's due.
A smile or a tear, of all that you fear,
It's the choices you've made come through.
What you sew to the soil, a seed left to grow,
will one day find its way to the light.
What you've done in the past will soon find its way,
Bad deeds breaking through the night.
Be careful, my dear, we all pay for our sins,
a choice holds a rippling effect.
The reaping of a soul, it is a harvest you know,
And it will soon be time to collect.
I'm going to hell. I'm cheating on my fiancé and going against everything I've ever been taught – going against my parents only wishes! You can't do bad things to be people and expect your life to turn out blessed and fine, like the universe will somehow forget about your sins. So I'm either going to hell or I'm going to pay greatly for all the lying and sneaking around to see him.
It's his eyes… I can't leave him because of his eyes. So blue. So cold. So surprisingly earth-shattering when he wants me.
Wow. My mom had a full on affair…
The door to the bathroom opens and for a moment, I fear I'm going to let him down, but when Stefan steps into the bedroom in a pair of black boxer-briefs, his hair a wet, sexy mess, and his impeccable body still damp, each muscle highlighted by the reflection of the light on his wet skin, I close the journal, tossing it onto the bedside table, then meet his hungry smile with one of my own.
My husband is simply gorgeous – perfectly built the way a man should be.
When I stand up to go to him, he looks me over and gives me a shiver through all the way down to my toes when he says, "You have no idea how hot you look in my shirt."
I walk directly into him, pressing my body against his the moment he pulls his teeshirt over my head. This time our kissing is deeper, hotter, more focused – I feel the bed against the back of my legs first, then my back when he lays us down it.
With his mouth on neck again, his rough hands on my breast, I turn my head to the side so he can full access to do what he does – drive me crazy, set me on fire, steal away all of my senses. He's pressing against me hard, my hips coming up to meet his when he grinds against me and I let out a loud plead, my eyes rolling back a bit.
Usually, he stretches it out – the foreplay – makes me wait for him until I think my body may turn into a puddle of liquid, but he lifts himself off of me, kicking off his boxers then pulling off my panties before returning to me. I want him to continue with the kissing on my neck, so I turn away again and he understands, sucking hard on the most sensitive area of my neck. My eyes open wide and I inhale sharply - surprised, and thoroughly enjoying, the force he's using.
Stefan is never overly eager – I don't know how he keeps the control he has, but he stays at it until my hand is fisting into the covers beneath us and the other is digging into his flexed shoulder. There's nothing but him and me – just his breathing in my ear, his warm body against all of mine, the frequency between us nearly sparking like static electricity from the friction. Even my vision is unfocused, but I catch the corner of a picture that's nearly fallen out of my mother's journal and for a moment I try to see who it is.
But then he moves into me and I cry out and arch against him and I think I say his name just before he's kissing my lips again and our tongues are moving together in the same bump and glide, sliding friction as our bodies.
-Stefan-
It's ridiculous, I know, but you'd think this time was the first time with Elena by the way my body is having trouble staying in control. I guess it's because how long I've waited to be with her like this, but where I'm usually able to sustain quite awhile, I can feel myself coming way too close to the edge.
I stop, try to get my senses toned down a bit, but Elena is bringing her hips up to meet mine and I swear to God I'm about to die.
"Ahh, Elena." My voice is so rough, gravel-like, when I say her groan out her name – I'm trying to tell her to wait, but she pulls my face mouth back to her neck and I'm unable to resist.
I'm half sucking, half biting her like she likes, moving fast and hard and her hoarse cries have nearly got me there – I mean I can hardly breathe she feels so good, squeezing me, holding onto me and meeting my movements.
I say her name again, right into her ear – I need her know that I'm about to lose it, I'm nearly finished; I just can't take how good this is. But when I say it once, I say it again as I get closer. Words cannot express how much I love her, how beautiful she is, what she does to me. Even her name feels good.
Elena's breathing starts to get that rhythm-less pace, her body tenses, and I know she's nearing the edge as well – then she opens her mouth and says in her sexy, raspy cry, "Damon."
***MORE TO COME***
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