`CHAPTER 14 -THE REAPING

-ELENA-

I've got one of those headaches that is so deeply engrained that the pain throbs all the way down your neck and even resonates in your gums.

I didn't sleep much last night, then the movers show up an hour late and put us on the road later than we'd planned. Most of the seven hour drive was hurried and in heavy rain with Grayson's screaming and Allie's snarky attitude… you can imagine how the day has gone so far.

While I curled up in the passenger seat trying to ignore my crying children, Stefan's grip on the steering wheel grew tighter and tighter, his jaw sitting tense and an annoyed look on his face. Things between us have been pretty easy for the most part – not that we've really had any time together with the last minute packing and the getting the kids together this morning and now we've bee-lined it to our gate – barely making the flight… but where that odd coldness had been is now a polite distance.

Baby steps.

Slow improvements are lasting improvements… funny how quickly I can get angry with him again - not just angry, furious.

I had just got Grayson's travel seat snapped into the seat next to me while Stefan was wrangling Allie across the aisle, the flight attendant going through all the safety jargon and the last order for turning off our electronics hitting the full first class section with a heavy collective sigh.

"Do you have my phone?" Stefan asks, I can hear the frustration in his voice as Allie continues to wail about something or another. If we can just get the plane in the air, she'll pass out like she normally would have in the car if the storm hadn't been so terrible. I nod, slipping my now powered down Iphone into my purse and retrieving Stefan's.

"You've got a text." I tell him, holding his phone out to him from across the aisle.

Stefan doesn't even look over, shrugging as he falls back into his seat and rests his head against the back. "Who is it?"

And that's when I feel the coldness close back in on me… the instant I flip his screen with my thumb and read the text from Damon. It must be obvious on my face – my anger, my fear, the terror of what Damon could be referring to – as the frequency between Stefan and I reaches a painful degree of tension before I read the message aloud.

Damon: Call me. I have HUGE news!

-Stefan-

If it's possible for me to have heart attack then it's going to happen during this flight, today… any minute.

I've been strung at a high tension all day. Allie is finally quiet, watching Despicable Me on my IPad and Elena has just nursed a now sleeping Grayson, so at least they're calm, but Damon's text message has set Elena and I off once again.

The entire right side of my body, the side nearest Elena, is stinging from our frequency and those million tiny little needles that her anger is sending out. My heart is hitting the walls of my chest so hard that it's blurring my vision a bit with each beat. In just over two hours, since Damon's message of 'huge news', I've chugged three bottles of water and a glass of bourbon and yet my throat still feels like sandpaper.

I keep telling myself there is no way Katherine could be pregnant. No way.

But there is.

It's actually extremely possible if she was telling the truth about ovulating…

Since I can't force myself to believe the lie, I've gone off on other routes – other things that he may be talking about.

He got accepted into a law school? No, he just started applying – it takes months.

Maybe he won the lottery? Damon is more of the poker kind of guy versus Powerball.

But I keep coming back to the same answer – what else could it be?

"Elena?" I whisper her name and to most everyone else, it probably looks like she didn't hear me, but I've been captured by her beautiful face for so many years that I notice even the slightest changes - I catch the minor flutter of her lashes, the quick flinch of her eyes as she forces herself not to look at me – focusing on the manuscript laying on her lap. "Elena, it can't be…" I can't even bring myself to say it, so I just pause and swallow the lump of unspeakable words, "… it's only been twelve days."

That's my only hope. I honestly have zero scientific basis for my theory – twelve days cannot be enough time to know if you're pregnant. With Allie, Elena was three months along when Bonnie sensed the pregnancy. Grayson, though planned, I have no idea how far along we were when Elena remembered that she was 'late'. Back then we were still sharing a shower every night and making love with every chance we got. Maybe I'm grasping at straws here, but I can't lose that little bit of us that we got back last night. I can't.

Still not looking at me, Elena's eyebrows purse together, pucking the skin between them into a deep wrinkle as she rolls her eyes at me, at my feeble attempt at discrediting our fears. My worst nightmare come true. I know Elena wants to be the kind of woman that sticks it out and works through it, but the past week and a half have been exactly like what I'd expected – she didn't leave Thailand, but Elena had left me. As much as she wants to love me unconditionally, I think we both know that it's not real – not from her side at least.

"Those tests," I start again, whispering a bit louder and leaning into the aisle between us, my nerves flaring from the pain of those pin-prickling needles of our frequency. "they can't be used this early." A flight attendant passes, giving me a quick glare and I feel my skin heat from embarrassment, shame. Its like everyone that looks at me somehow knows what I've done – my crime. I clear my throat and try to shake the guilt from my voice before speaking again, "And even if she is… it's a small chance that-"

"Stefan." Elena cuts me off, her dark eyes filled with annoyance as she looks my way with raised eyebrows, gesturing towards Allie. She'd been so quiet, watching her movie, I'd almost forgot she was sitting there awake listening to our every word… every thought. "This is not the place to discuss this." She adds, each word formed to perfection the way she does when her anger is at a fevers pitch.

Elena's right – for so many reasons we cannot talk about this over an aisle with our kids at our sides.

As I'm unbuckling my lapbelt, I'm not lost to the irony of what I'm about to do… my minds eye sending crystal clear images of Elena and I through me and the urge to smile at the memory of our trip to Rome feels somewhat tasteless, but what can I do? Our situation is in such a state of reversal from that flight, but that memory, that trip, it's one of the greatest memories of my life.

"Allie," I swear to you, when my daughter looks up at me I can almost see it in her evergreen eyes – she already knows what I'm about to say. "Keep an eye on Grayson for a moment will you?" I hear Elena sigh, or inhale to object maybe, but I continue in order to keep her from putting a stop to my plan. "Mommy and I need to talk."

From the look on Elena's face when I turn to her and extend my hand, the thought crosses my mind that she may slap my hand away and simply refuse. After what seems like a very long moment of her looking at my open hand then my face intermittently, she gives another rolling of her eyes as she stands – stepping into the aisle without taking my hand for assistance.

I don't know if it's hurt or anger, but something flares up in my gut in response to her surly attitude. Reminding myself that I'm the bad guy in this situation, I swallow the insolent remark that tries to escape my mouth – instead, I gesture for her to go ahead of me.

Blame it on the memories of our trip to Rome and the last time we stood in an in-flight lavatory, but I'm having difficulty keeping a straight face and my eyes off of her body as I follow her. Luckily, the instant I shut the door behind me and turn to face Elena, I'm quickly shut down in that department when she says in a seething whisper, "How could you have not known?!"

How could I have not known? I've been asking myself that same question for days, but coming from Elena – with her raspy voice and accusing tone, flaming anger in her teary eyes, the question burns into me in the same way I remember vervain would sear my skin.

I open my mouth to respond, but I have nothing.

"This is not the way I wanted my life to be, Stefan." She continues as I stammer for a response. "Forever connected to Katherine – a step mother to her child! Your child!"

"I know, I'm sorry." I move to her – there is no more than eighteen inches between us but it feels like a cavern. I don't know why I feel shocked when Elena doesn't move away from me – half of me wonders if she's only allowing it because there's not enough space in this small bathroom to put up a fuss. Still, from reading her body language, I know she's angry, terribly upset, and I keep my touch innocent, holding her shoulders and forcing myself not to attempt hugging her.

Again, I'm taken aback when Elena steps into me, her arms slipping around my waist and holding me tightly. I'd prepared myself for an argument of massive proportion and feel my tension easing with each passing second that her body is against mine. I'm relishing in the comfort of her, of her embrace, of how much I love Elena – one hand on her lower back, the other in her hair – when Elena says in a soft sigh, "I love you, Stefan."

Sometimes, it feels like I forget that she loves me – I feel like a passing phase of her life, a season maybe – I guess that's why I was so sure that Elena would leave me after my night with Katherine. I'm thinking about how many times Elena has proven her love to me – in Dallas after Caroline's costume party, in Miami when she took off Damon's ring, in Naples when she begged me to turn her, the way she fought for me when I was with Klaus…

I feel my chest tighten with a million emotions for her, how much I adore her, how much I owe her – I inhale to tell her that I love her. That I swear I'll make things right, I'll fix this. We'll get through this, but Elena speaks first.

"but I can't live with this." Pulling back just enough to look up at me, her words crush me, "If Katherine is pregnant, Stefan, I'm sorry but I can't handle sharing my life with her…" She looks down at my chest as she delivers the final blow. "I can't be with you."

I know I'm the villain. It has not escaped me that I've cheated on my wife, among the hundred other crimes I've committed, but it's like my body revolts against all of that reprobate knowledge and I immediately step away from Elena – as far as I can get, my back pressed against the door as my skin begins to overheat and I feel that anger in me begin to boil.

She can't be with me.

I feel this explosion of words in my throat – accusations and negative truths and a list of times where I've swallowed my pride and stayed with her, loved her unconditionally – but somehow by my being tricked into sleeping with Katherine, Elena cannot be with me…

I've closed my eyes and clenched my teeth, holding my breath in an effort to keep from reminding Elena that she willingly fell into Damon's bed, that she has never denied loving Damon, that she drug me to hell and back with her straddling the line between my brother and I… somehow Elena translates my appearance into sadness, maybe heartbreak, and she says, "I'm sorry, Stefan, I am."

She's sorry.

I exhale through my nose slowly, forcing the anger inside of me back into that hole in my gut. Back to that place where I store all things that I want to say, want to do, when I know I shouldn't. I move from one foot to the other as I struggle to keep my thoughts to myself. I often don't say things outloud – I contain and compartmentalize to a disturbing degree. In that hole, the basement of me – the darkest part of myself – are hundreds of thousands of bottles of rage and despair, fear and sinful desires. Sitting there, stored and ready to break free and slip from my grip and turn me into the monster I've fought for nearly two centuries.

I don't want to hurt her. Never. I just, I can't believe how she openly tells me she doesn't love me the way I love her. It's painful to actually hear her say it.

I don't know how long we stand there like that – me fighting my mind and her watching me like she's afraid I'm about to cry. I'm not. I'm not sad… I'm offended. After all this time, after ever way I've proven to her that I love her – ONLY HER – no matter what happens or what she does or who comes in-between us, I will always love her.

I hear my teeth begin to grind against each other just as Elena says, "Do you think of her? Of that night?"

I wish I could lie to her, but even when I'd let myself reside into that darkness I'd open my mouth to tell her something I knew was bullshit and the truth would come from my lips – her dark, endless eyes pulling it from the deadness inside of me, giving me a hint of life again.

"Yes." I shake my head as those dreams, nightmares, slip into my memory. "Everytime I sleep I have these… images of her and you." Even now, looking at my wife with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed and that blazing look in her eyes, I want her to love me like I love her. "Sometimes it's like she's trying to tear me away from you. Other times I can't tell you from her and it's terrifying."

For a split second it actually feels nice to have released that into the universe – how I've been haunted by Katherine every single time I've closed my eyes – but I soon regret saying anything at all, the moment I see Elena's eyes squint in the slightest and I feel those pin-prickling needles again.

"You're dreaming about her?" She asks, her voice louder than before and carrying that accusatory tone that slices into me. I look at her like I'm confused… I am confused. How could she have misunderstood? "Do you know how hearing that makes me feel, Stefan?"

I watch her uncross her arms, push her hair behind her ears and look me up and down. All the while I'm thinking, no Elena, I have no idea what it would feel like to be cheated on. To be deduced to a choice. But of course, as always, let's discuss how this makes you feel.

"Do you find her attractive?" I hear her question and feel my eyes widen with surprise, pausing as I try to figure out what angle she's pulling. "Do you?" Elena prods, her hands on her hips.

"What am I supposed to say here, Elena?" I hear the strain in my voice and regret it even though it feels like I'm letting go of a weight I'd been toting around on my chest. "How am I supposed to answer that?"

"Truthfully." Elena says curtly.

"So I either incriminate myself or lie to you?" I huff. "She looks just like you, Elena."

Elena gives me this smile – it's very Katherine like, the way it doesn't touch her eyes and spreads across her face in a threatening way. "So that's a yes."

"How could I not be? But Elena, I love you. I love you. Do you not hear that?" She starts to turn away from me as my voice gets more rough, somewhat more forceful, but I take her by her upper arm and pull her back to me. "When I tell you I love you I'm not saying it out of habit or obligation." A knock at the door cuts me off and when her round, chocolate brown eyes move to my mouth, watching me speak, I know she can tell that I'm getting angry. For some reason, Elena has always been turned on by the angry-tension that squeezes us when we're arguing. I can't say I don't like the way our gravity forces us together, but it took a long time for me to understand her attraction to it. Speaking quieter and looking down at my beautiful wife, I feel those contradicting emotions in my guy – anger and desire – as I add, "When I say I love you, I mean those words. I say it to remind you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Excuse me?" Knock-knock-knock. "Hello?"

I turn around and open the door, leaving Elena to consider my words and walking into the suspicious stare of the flight attendant waiting outside the lavatory.

-Bonnie-

I know it hasn't been but like two weeks since I last saw Elena and the kids, but I've been sitting on the chaise lounger reading through some of my Grams old spell books, impatiently waiting on them to show up. Just past two in the morning, I hear a car pull into the driveway and all of my fatigue from the day full of kindergarten children and heavy eye lids from reading disappear. I'm running out of the door and feeling like a little kid who hasn't seen her best friend all summer!

Stefan is always pretty even keeled – upset, he's straight-faced. Mad, he's straight-faced. Happy, you guessed it, straight-faced. But Elena, I can read her from a mile away.

Straight-faced Stefan nods and gives a tired smile as I trot past him in my pj's and house shoes. He's getting out of the drivers seat and I refrain from squealing as Allie and Grayson are probably sleeping. The second I see Elena, I get that daunting feeling that something is wrong – really, really wrong.

It could be that she's tired – from their house to mine is more than 26 hours of travel – of course they're all exhausted. But it's something else – the slow blink, the fake-excitement Elena tries to have as we hug, the half-second too long look we share.

Stefan must have told her…

He makes me sick. I know, I know – Katherine swears he didn't mean to hurt her, but if you could've seen the bruises on her! I had a hard time believing it at first – that Stefan basically forced himself on her, but the bruises sold it. No one is that kinky, not even 'the ripper'.

Disgusted by the thought of him, I follow Elena into the house where Stefan is waiting and notice that he hardly looks at either of his, his eyes on the floor, and I decide that it's good that he's told her about Katherine. Katherine was sure he'd tell her something – give her some story, he's too guilty to hide it she said, but honestly I thought for sure he'd keep it to himself.

Still, it's a good thing Elena knows something happened between them as it's going to make it a lot easier for me to tell her the truth about what really happened! I'll be going against Katherine's wishes, but I cannot let Elena live in the dark about what Stefan really did!

Giving my best smile, I show them to their room and secretly wish I could use my powers to give him brain aneurisms like I used to when he was a vampire. Silly, I know, but when he sits Grayson's seat down I give it a try and feel a load of disappointment when nothing happens.

"Can I use your restroom?" He asks

Nodding, I step out of the guest room and gesture down the hall, "Second door on the right."

I wait until I hear the bathroom door close, watching Elena pretend to be busy moving pillows and putting them back, then say "You two okay?"

Sitting on the bed, facing away from me, Elena releases a loud sigh, "Is it that obvious?" I want to tell her everything, but I know it's going to destroy her – I guess that's why I hesitate, going to sit next to her and laying my head on hers when she rests against my shoulder. "We've been silent for almost a full day now."

"You can talk to me." I try, hoping that she'll start the topic and tell me a bit of the lies that I am sure he's told her. "That's what best friends are for, ya know?"

Lifting her head, Elena gives me this terribly sad smile – the same kind that was pretty standard back when she was compelled and depressed and completely lost. "I know. And I will." I hear the bathroom door open just as Elena adds, "but I'm exhausted right now. Can we talk tomorrow?"

I agree and head out of the room with a quick goodnight just as Stefan makes his way back. I feel the selfish desire to not say anything at all, keep it to myself in order to keep Elena from breaking, but my gut won't allow it – as always, I have to say something even when it's not my place.

So as I climb into bed with an already asleep Jeremy, I lay awake for a long while trying to decide my words and plan out everything I know.

She'd come back to the house after she and Damon got into a fight.

After a few drinks, they started fooling around – I don't know if I'm going to tell her that Katherine made the first advance, as it doesn't really matter. It takes me hours to figure out what I'm going to say and how, but by the time I finally fall asleep I'm pretty content with my decision.

Tomorrow I'll take Elena to lunch and unload… Stefan raped Katherine.

****MORE TO COME****

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PS: Sorry for the late delay – lots of things going on with work/holidays/family. I should be back on a weekly update schedule now! Thanks for reading!