CHAPTER 23 – THE REAPING

-Caroline-

"I don't want you to go…" Klaus and I have only been together for a few years, but if there is one thing I've learned about The Original, my used-to-be-hybrid, still bad ass husband, it's that a perfectly-placed pout with a good-sized plea always breaks his steely demeanor and I get my way… almost always.

"Caroline." Klaus sighs, adjusting the straps of my duffel, Matt's navy blue and white diaper bag, the drawstring laundry bag heavy with dirty clothes, and a large canvas bag carrying the numerous gifts that Matt and I have received during our two day stay, all weighing down his square shoulder and simultaneously taking away the power of my pout. "You cannot travel, love. What choice do we have?"

"He's right, Sweetie." Mom has been constantly using her soft-talk voice and every pet-name in the book like she's suddenly forgotten that I'm in my twenties and Klaus is… Klaus is, well, a million or whatever. The moment she made it to the hospital and got to hold Matt, my over-worked, under-appreciated, strong-fronting mother crumbled into the woman I remember from when I was a girl and Mom and Dad were still married and my life was nothing less than a storybook fairytale. "Daddy's got to go back to Dallas to get you all moved back to Virginia," Mom cooes at her milk-drunk grandson, so asleep that he doesn't register his grandmothers ear-to-ear smile or her sing-songy tone of voice as she looks at him like the miracle he is. "You and your Mommy will stay here so Nana can give you itsy-bitsy kisses on your sweet little cheeks!"

I swear I'm not aggravated with my mom at all – quite the opposite really – but between my hormones running all over the place, her agreeing with Klaus' plan to get back to Dallas for the weekend to wrap up a few things and supervise the moving company, and the fact that Klaus is still gathering things for his departure, I lose my temper and smart off at my mom much like the little bratty teenager that I once was. "Are you going to talk to everyone in third person or are you just doing this to annoy me?"

Immediately, I feel ashamed of my outburst – and not just because of the scowl on my mom's face or the quite saying of my name in Klaus' 'that is disappointing' English-accented tone. After a few long seconds of heavy silence, I'm just about to look up from my hands knotted together in my lap and apologize, but Mom speaks first.

"I wonder where Dr. Fell is?" A change of subject – thank God. "I'm supposed to meet Professor Stanton for lunch."

"Professor Stanton?" The name instantly rings a bell – a 'what a bitch she is' bell. "As in Professor Amy Stanton?"

I guess the rotten thoughts I have for her are evident in my voice as Mom gives a matching frown with her nod, telling me she doesn't much care for the lead case investigator for CCIR, Cold Case Investigations and Research, either.

"She has these two kids – interns," Finally laying Matt into his basinet allows Mom's real voice to escape from whatever prison that holding my newborn son had trapped it in. "up and running at all hours of the night. Copies and coffee and scans and taping tiny pieces of paper to bigger pieces of paper in order to fit symmetrically in file folders."

I chuckle a bit, remembering how the interns at my office – er, my old office – despised Amy for tasking them with that job. These people had college degrees and were spending hours and miles of scotch tape as they took post it notes, business cards, receipts… really anything in the evidence files that were not 8.5x11 and taping it to blank sheets of common sized printer paper. God, what a torture chamber that woman led! Between her condescending ways of leading her team and the 'right-now' orders that seemed to come to her at a moments notice, by the time CCIR left Dallas pretty much everyone hated Professor Amy Stanton!

"How much longer will they be pestering you, Liz?" Klaus asks, something about the way his eyebrows raise in the slightest signals to me that his brain is beginning to turn into that planning and scheming man from the past – God how I love that magnificent mind of his. "It seems as though I can remember Caroline telling me about them keeping you busy soon after we returned from Thailand."

"Yes, that's right." Mom sighs heavily, as if she hadn't realized just how many weeks she's been forced to work with the non-profit group. Their goal is great – using DNA to free anyone wrongly-accused – but geez, Amy Stanton makes you want to burn the evidence just to get her out of your hair!

"Is there any chance, even a small one, that opening these cases may prove to be, shall I say, unkind to those of us with a history in this town?"

My mom shakes the loving grandma look pretty quickly as Klaus eloquently reminds us all that he and I are murderers who run with a pack of other murderers.

"No." She says confidently, her hands finding her hips as she moves into that Sheriff Forbes stance that used to make my skin crawl. "They are looking into the murder cases, not the animal attacks. Everyone will be fine and hopefully, Professor Stanton is nearly finished… they plan on collecting the evidence files back to 1900. Last I heard they were wrapping up the forties."

I'm just about to ask Klaus if he was here during that time, but his expression is soft and Dr. Fell pushes through the swinging door with a wide, happy, red lipped smile and a stack of papers in her arms – I wonder if anyone else finds it odd that she immediately scans the room when she enters.

"How are you today?" She asks cheerily, pushing her hair behind her ears, showing off the large diamond stud earrings she's wearing as she takes a quick peek at Matt, wrapped tightly in the blue and white blanket Elena gave us. Turning back to me, I notice how perfectly her makeup is applied and to be honest, I'm feeling a little dumpy in comparison… all the way down to her shiny red heels and black pencil skirt. "I expected you to have much more company, Caroline. Where is everyone?" Meredith asks, nonchalantly flipping through my chart.

Hmm.

Klaus and I share a very quick, fleeting look at one another and I swear he has a hard time not grinning – not at all bothered by the fact that my suspicions about Meredith being very interested in a newly single Stefan Salvatore are absolutely spot-on.

Poor girl… I've been in her shoes - always choosing the wrong guy.

I mean, Stefan is a great guy, until Elena serendipitously found her way back into our lives he was a wonderful boyfriend even –thing is, even with their current state, nothing will ever tempt him away from Elena… but that doesn't mean we can't use this very pretty, successful woman to start up her jealous streak!

I hardly even hear the going home instructions that she's telling me as I imagine how fun watching Elena freak over another woman actively pursuing 'her Stefan' will be!

When Meredith says, "So, that's about it. You guys are good to go so long as you have a car seat installed.", I am smiling like the cat that ate the canary… the Elena needs to be taught a lesson canary, that is!

Klaus and Mom watch her walk out, each of them calling 'thank you's and 'we really appreciate it's and whatnot while my mean-girl brain kicks into over drive as I try to figure out how to link these two, Stefan and Hot Dr. Fell, together in a way that will both drive Elena crazy and right to his feet, begging him to come back.

By the time Klaus has all of our stuff in mom's SUV and I've awkwardly put Matt into his carseat for the very first time – may I take a minute to mention how crazy adorable my baby boy is? I mean, listen, I know you're going to think I'm biased, but really, he may be the most handsome little guy that there ever has been! From the wispy blond hair on his head to his full lips… he's going to be a heartbreaker – anyway, by the time my room is void of all of the belongs we've accumulated in our short stay and Matt and I are being carted out of the room, him in his carseat being held by his terribly proud father and mom pushing me in a wheelchair, I can't think of any way to connect Stefan and Meredith again.

There really is no reason for them to see each other… I mean I've racked my brain and I'm usually pretty good at creating drama where there is a lack of it.

Sheesh, maybe it's the hormones… I dunno.

"Oh Caroline!" Mom is pushing me through the automatic doors of the lobby when Meredith calls for me. "Caroline! Wait.." She smiles over her shoulder, then turns back to the man in scrubs she's talking with, seemingly ending the conversation with him quickly – stepping back as she finishes up her last sentence then turning hastily to come to Mom and I.

"Is anything the matter?" Mom's voice is calm, but I can hear the worry in her words and to tell you the truth, my stomach is a bit knotted, as well.

Meredith looks confused for a moment, her large, dark eyes moving from mom's worried face to mine, back and forth, then finally back to mine as she figures out what this looks like. Being stopped by your doctor on the way out of the hospital is probably not usually good news.

"No, no." Covering her face with her hand, hiding an embarrassed smile and reddening cheeks, Meredith laughs. "No, I'm sorry. Everything is great, really. You guys are free to go and I know you're going to do just fine."

"Then what is it?" Mom asks, releasing her nervousness in a chuckle.

"Um, well uh…" Meredith stutters, "It's not professional. More like girl talk, I guess…"

-Elena-

"Mr. and Mrs. Salvatore," Margo smiles, poking her head out of her office, her phone resting on her shoulder, "it'll be just a few minutes longer. You know how troublesome teenagers are." She laughs, closing the door and leaving Stefan and I alone in the small, vacant lobby. The other night, at the hospital, I was so upset – pissed off really – about Meredith Fell hovering all over Stefan that I was pretty rude and, now, I think Stefan must feel I am upset with him.

I'm not… I mean, no more than usual, with the Katherine deal and now the whole idea of Meredith… but I'm not sure how to tell him that I'm not any more upset with him than when we toured my parents house. When he said those perfect words and left that perfect kiss on my tingling lips…

I'm just regular ol' mad Elena. Great.

That's what I've become – angry with the world. Mad Elena. A woman with two amazing kids and great friends and a job that could not be more perfect if I'd dreamt it up… and Stefan. I have Stefan. I have a husband that loves me through everything, no matter what. A man that has been by my side for nearly a decade now, a man with a touch that still sets me on fire and a smile that makes my heart skip a beat and who treats me like I'm irreplaceable.

I spent a few hours writing last night – still working on my fictional/non fictional semi-auto biographical whatever it is… and here is my latest epiphany.

I don't love him like he loves me. I love him like I love him and that's all I can do. And whether or not he believes it, my love for Stefan is unending and it is unconditional. Writing has really helped me put things into a bit of perspective and on top of my promise to be more assertive and open with Stefan, I've added to that list of 'to-do-Elena-improvements'

Controlling my Katherine comparisons

Wrangling in my worry over Caroline and Katherine… my jealousy (I hate that word, no matter how fitting it may be)

Forming a friendship with Klaus… I mean, lets face it, Human Stefan and Human Klaus have a friendship that I'll never really understand, but I need to support. No matter how weirded out I am by the commonalities between the two of them… their pasts.

And lastly, the big one, I've got to let this anger go.

I'm angry about so much!

What was once sadness time has turned into a living, breathing, monster of anger that sits so tightly between my heart and my lungs that they actually feel constricted when I get set off about something. Losing my parents still makes me feel so cheated, robbed of my childhood and of experiences that I should have been able to share with them! It's been almost eight years to the day – Sunday is the anniversary of their deaths – and to me, it feels like it's been no more than a few months until I think about everything I've missed, everything they have missed, everything that my children will miss not having their grandparents in their lives! Then it just moves forward; I get mad at Damon for what he did, even if it was an accident. Then I'm mad at him for staking Lexi and hurting Stefan so profoundly… and for hurting Bonnie and Caroline and Jeremy and for weaving himself into my head. I get mad at Katherine for hurting him and hurting Stefan. Then I'm mad at Klaus for hurting her and for killing Jena and for stealing Caroline away from me and for being the first fissure in mine and Stefan's relationship so long ago… I could go on and on, but you know the story. You can map it out… ending with Katherine, going on three months pregnant with what could be my step-child.

For mine and Stefan's sake, I've got to come to terms with it and accept it for if I know Stefan, and I do, there is nothing that will stop him from taking care of her child should he turn out to be the father… he'd wash his hands of me before ever considering abandoning the baby.

I'm lost in my thoughts, my epiphany and what I want to write about tonight, when I feel Stefan's eyes on me… a quick, secret glance that he probably wishes I didn't know even happened, but I can feel his gaze on my skin just as I can feel sunlight – just as warm, comforting.

We were supposed to meet with Margo to finish up the paperwork over twenty minutes ago, but when I got here he was sitting in the very seat he is right now, elbows on his knees, eyes on the floor, while Margo's raspy, smokers voice carries through the thin walls as she discusses her 'kid' getting expelled… again, apparently.

When Margo's voice raises, that twinge of guilt in my stomach really picks up as I feel bad for eavesdropping and decide to try and start a conversation with Stefan.

"Pepper called earlier," I smile with the thought of seeing her and Robert tomorrow. "They landed this morning and are going to stay with some friends upstate, but they'll be here around four tomorrow."

Nodding, Stefan slips his phone from his back pocket, checking the screen quickly before sitting it in the empty pleather, blue seat at his side.

"I was thinking we could all go to Lula's. Out near the highway intersection, you know? It's a new place, Cajun I think, southern maybe," I'm rattling. I'm rattling on about absolutely nothing for the sole purpose of keeping him looking at me. Of keeping his soft green gaze looking right into my starved-for-him brown eyes. "It's probably the basics you know, I mean, if nothing else at least they have a good reputation…" Stefan is dressed for the day – business Stefan in a starched light blue button up, tucked into a pair of dark slacks and his hair – his soft, perfectly wheat brown hair – is as always set into a 'this took no effort' mess of perfection. " Maybe we should offer to bring Damon dinner afterwards since my dumb idea left him stuck with watching the kids… A to-go box and a jumbo-sized styrofoam cup of bourbon."

Stefan's lips begin to curve into a smile from my joke and I think he knows what I'm doing – totally aware of my useless rambling – but before we can really enjoy the moment, Margo bursts through the door and calls our names. "Hello, Hello! I am so sorry about that… but let's go on in and I'll get the broker and we'll seal this deal for you two today, okay?"

Stefan waits for me to enter Margo's office, his hand gently touching the small of my back as I pass him and I have no idea if I'm more happy that Stefan and I are buying my parents house, my home, or that he touched me… they are of equal value to me at this moment and to have them both, at the same time, it's amazing.

It's nice to watch Stefan conduct business – really nice… it's sexy. He's so confident with his decisions, the words he chooses, comfortable negotiating with the broker and the realtor. I sit back and watch, ready to add my two-cents should I disagree with him, or find something of concern to me, but after more than an hour of discussion and remembering this Stefan from when we worked at Robert's publishing company together, I want nothing more than to sign the mortgage and take my husband back to our home and make love with him.

End this entire argument once and for all.

Finally finished – I feel like I've signed my name about three hundred times – Stefan and I shake Margo and Mr. Braun's hands, collect our copies of the paperwork and head out to the lobby. I'm walking slow, purposely. I want him to come home with me.

Home.

To our new home.

To the same rooms that we've kissed and talked and laughed and cried in over and over again. Where I had pictured spending my with him and our faceless children when I was just barely seventeen… even then I knew.

Stepping out into the sun warmed day, I feel like I am about to burst with happiness and want and love, all for Stefan, all thanks to him.

"Hey, what are you doing now?" I ask, hoping he doesn't notice that I've reverted back to my same ol' flirty ways from my teenage years. Head tilted down a bit, slipping my hair being my ear, looking up at him with a smile. "We could go back to the house."

Shifting his jacket in his arms in order to balance the thick manila file of our mortgage papers and whatnot, Stefan gives me a surprised look, quickly followed by that smile – that gorgeous smile that I would know from a mile away. It's the way his eyes crinkle with this particular smile – one of thousands, I should add. Something in the way his eyes squint a bit and his lips curl up and snarl at the same time… Stefan's sexy, I want you smile has always, and will always, make me weak in the knees.

"Actually, Elena," His smile fades a little, turning into something less carnal, more apologetic, "I'm supposed to help Caroline out tonight." Of course… Caroline. Ugh. "Klaus is headed back to Dallas to finish up the sale of their condo and her mom won't be in until late."

Act cool, Elena – I tell myself. Don't pout and frown and whine about him picking Caroline over you… just be cool. Remember your epiphany!

"Elena," Stefan frowns, "Please believe me when I say there is nothing more I'd rather do than spend some time with you, it's just I already –"

"No. Yea." I try to play it off even though my face is hot with flush, "It's totally cool, you've gotta do ya know, it's yea."

Seriously. That wasn't even a sentence! I'm an idiot. A mumbling, bumbling, can't even get a date with her own husband, idiot.

Somehow, I manage to get through the rest of our parting goodbye without falling down or having a bird pooh on my head or some other unimaginably embarrassing thing happen – ugh! – but much like the idiot I am, I stand at my car door and watch him leave, smiling and waving like I'm totally fine and not embarrassed down to my spine for propositioning Stefan and getting a huge, fat, rejection.

My faux-smile is hurting my face by the time his truck is out of view and letting my frown take over is the equivalent of dropping a hundred pound weight!

I spend a few moments listening to the voice in my head and the cars passing on Main Street, resting my head against the hood of my car, berating myself once more for being so forward – we could go back to the house – WTH, Elena! Then moving on to mentally preparing myself for the dreaded anniversary of my parents accident and our dinner with Robert and Pepper tomorrow night. Never ones to mence words, I know that they are going to be looking for answers and not afraid to ask the difficult questions… maybe it will be good for us, good for Stefan and I to have some moderators around to help us through this mess.

Maybe that's just what we need… counseling of some sort. I mean, I've thought about it before – I'm sure he has too – but who can we really talk to? Really? Who could we trust with all of the truth behind our relationship? Stefan was a vampire with an addiction to blood. I am a doppleganger who slept with his brother and happens to look like the woman that turned him almost two hundred years ago…

Um no… can't walk into any run of the mill therapists office and drop those kinds of bombs.

Pepper and Robert have been so helpful in the past. I can't help but feel much more hopeful about our dinner and the sure-to-come interrogation by the two people in our lives who know everything and yet, still treat us like we're just kids – their kids.

Yes. This is going to be great. Dinner will be difficult, maybe a little painful to rehash everything, but it's worth it. It'll be worth it in the end. For Stefan and I… I'd do anything.

Feeling much better and the smile on my face not causing me any strife at all, I straighten up and find Margo standing infront of the lobby door, searching the cars, her eyes spotting me quickly.

"Oh Mrs. Salvatore, Mrs. Salvatore!" She click-clacks down the concrete walkway, cigarette smoke trailing behind her. "Your phone! You left it in the lobby!"

I'm about to disagree, my phone is in my purse, but then I see Stefan's black phone in her hand and recall him sitting it in the seat next to him. "Oh yes, thank you so much!" I laugh, then lie to explain why I'm still out here, standing by my car. "I was just looking through my bag for it."

Handing it to me, she says, "We almost missed it, but Mr. Braun heard it ring… I guess you missed a call"

"Oh," I smile, "Thank you, really, for everything." Extending my hand to shake hers, then opening my car door and slipping inside.

I shouldn't.

I can't.

Going through his phone is totally wrong.

But if he missed a call it might be something to do with the kids…

And he never cared about me using his phone before.

Even in Naples, when we were broke up and he caught me looking at his pictures… he didn't care at all!

No. No I can't.

I'm trying to be a better person – more adult. More trusting.

I can't.

I won't.

But then it dings and the phone activates as a text alert comes across the screen.

Caroline: Hot and sexy Dr gave me her number to give…

I have to see it – I have to read it. All of my conviction – all of that being a better person, it's bullshit now. It's meaningless… I think my blood may actually have turned a jealous shade of green after reading just part of the message! Jealous green and angry, ANGRY, red as I realize Caroline is HELPING Meredith Fell try to hook up with my husband – mine.

Stream may be coming from my ears as I flick the screen with my thumb and read the entire message.

Caroline: Hot and sexy Dr gave me her number to give to you! Seems like Dr has a case of the 'Stefan's and you're the only cure! Call her – She's beautiful and funny and smart… and given her history probably a little crazy, so the sex will be epic! ;P

*DING*

A second message from her and I feel tears of rage fill my eyes.

Caroline: Not to mention, Elena is going to go crazy jealous! Score one for Team Stefan!

-Stefan –

I'm trying not to be pissed off. Really I am.

Caroline is just home with Matt, Klaus is gone for the weekend, her mom is, as usual, working, and I know that I'm her only help. No matter how aggravated I am with her, she's my best friend and she needs me to be here. So I'm here.

I'm here. My phone however…

My phone, carrying a text message from her about Meredith being interested in me and Caroline's teenager-like scheme to make Elena jealous, is not here.

"Stefan, I am so sorry." Caroline whispers, nursing Matt beneath a blanket as she rests in front of the small fire I'd built while she filled me in on the current drama. There is always something within this group – misfits, outcasts. All of us just dysfunctional enough to be functional together. "Maybe it's lost in your truck. Like under the seat or something?"

I know where I left it. I remember exactly when I sat it down in that chair in the lobby. I remember exactly how my body was aching for my wife and how my mind felt murky and my thoughts thick… we sat there in that deafening silence for what seemed like an eternity as I tried to find a topic that didn't sound like awkward chit-chat between exes. Anything to break the tension – anything but Meredith Fell or Katherine Pierce.

So you can see why I'm worried. Why I'm angry with Caroline for being so careless. Immature. Tactless.

Swiping at the screen on her phone in a 'calm' way – whatever that is – I'm finding quite difficult. My thumb tapping against the screen is a quick, hard beat as I google the phone number for the realty office and send quite pleads into the universe that Elena did not pick up my phone.

One ring – two… three… voicemail. The office is closed.

At first I feel my chest sink – my phone is locked up in the lobby for the weekend – but then again… The greeting on the voicemail says they close at noon on Fridays and Elena and I didn't finish up until close to three. Odds are, Margo closed up just after we left and Elena most likely doesn't have it. The thought lightens me, giving my voice a somewhat cheerful ring as I leave my message with Caroline offering me a weary, testing smile:

"Margo, hello, this is Stefan Salvatore. I know your office is closed for the weekend, but I left my phone in the lobb-"

"Mr. Salvatore?" Margo's voice has the same raspy quality of a record player needle falling from the vinyl. "Hello?"

"Yes, Hi."

"How are you enjoying your new home?" She asks in a way that tells me she has no idea that Elena and I are… separated… "A young couple such as yourselves will be a perfect addition to the neighborhood."

A knock on the front door nearly does not register – being in Caroline's mothers home, talking to this woman, all the possible scenarios playing out my options in my minds eye.

In order to not get into it the details of mine and Elena's current situation and to cut the conversation short, I simply lie – a white lie, "It's wonderful..." delivered just as I turn the corner from the sitting room and into the foyer, " listen, I left my phone in the lobb-" and I find the love of my life looking right at me through the glass inlet; her long hair pulled over one shoulder, framing her beautiful face half in dark satin, half in the orange light of sunset.

Again she interrupts me and I stop in my tracks from the words spilling into my ears and the recognition of the look on Elena's face – her eyes wide, alert, sharp. Her lips pressed tight. Jaw set. The pin-prickling needles against my skin. With my current state of near panic that Elena may have my phone and those text messages from Caroline, I feel my brow tighten and my jaw clench. "Your phone, right… yes, Mrs. Salvatore has it."

Smile, Stefan. I tell myself. Don't look guilty.

Without saying a goodbye – or saying anything at all, really – I end the call and sit Caroline's phone on the table as I move towards the door, my skin stinging from the frequency I share with Elena.

"Hey, Elena." Because I'm still not sure if she read the messages, I try to sound possibly surprised to see her.

"Is Caroline awake?" Elena pushes past me, using her forearm against my chest to move me – my phone slaps against my shoulder. Stopping her is almost a reflex – my hand taking hold of her wrist, keeping her fist and the phone against me. "Stefan, let me go." Elena's voice is quiet, forced through gritted teeth, but I don't release her though my grip is loose. A quick struggle tells Elena I'm not relenting. "Stefan!"

Fearing that this would end badly for Elena and Caroline's friendship of 20 years, I do my best to thwart her desire to confront Caroline – the look in Elena's eyes tells me it's a useless effort, but I try nonetheless. "It's nothing, Elena. What does it matter?"

"It's nothing?" She huffs. "Caroline tries to set you up with another woman to make me jealous and that's nothing?!"

"It was a joke, Elena." Caroline's tired voice turns our heads simultaneously – she looks exhausted, worried. "Kind of…"

Realizing that holding Elena's wrist is futile now that Caroline has come to meet my vengeful wife, I release my hold on her and wonder why didn't she just stop with it was a joke?

"Really funny, Care-O-Line… I laughed the entire drive over!" Elena jerks her touch from my chest, her voice raising.

Caroline rolls her eyes, crossing her arms as she replies, "I have a hard time imagining you laughing at anything, Elena…"

What an odd situation this is – protective of both parties, angry with each contender in the fight for every blow thrown. I want to reprimand Caroline and send Elena home. I want to tell Caroline that she's crossing a line and remind Elena of how many years they've been friends.

"Why? Because I'm such a bitch these days, Caroline?" Elena matches Caroline's stance. "And with no reason – just a psychotic ex-girlfriend who may be pregnant with my step child while my friends are setting my husband up on dates sure to end in 'epic sex'! Yeah, I'm being way too sensitive about all of this!"

Caroline doesn't miss a beat, "Thank God, I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever realize how ridiculous you're being!"

"Me?!" Elena steps towards Caroline. Caroline steps forward as well. "I'm ridiculous?" I step inbetween them – the four feet feeling much more like four inches.

With a snarky nod, Caroline says, "What kind of wife blames her husband for being taken advantage of?"

"Caroline." I face her, glaring. This does not need to be discussed here. Not between them. What happened with Katherine is between Elena and I.

"The same kind of wife that chooses her 'friend' over her husband and lets him be a vegetable for four years!" Elena actually quotes with her fingers when she says friend… referring to me.

"Elena." Really… this again?

Since the moment Elena – compelled Elena – found out that Caroline and I were together, I've been dealing with Elena being suspicious of my friendship with her. I've explained and I've tried to make her understand what Caroline is to me and what I am to Caroline, how we were only together out of loneliness and lack of option, but nothing seems to cease her worry that I have some deep, longing, love for Caroline.

I, one-hundred percent, do not.

"Oh wow…" Caroline's eyes roll again, though I see that the reminder of what we did to Klaus has stung her, "get over yourself Elena… not everyone wants your husband."

"HA!" Elena gives a saracastic chuckle, "Right… so out of the entire town of Mystic Falls, Stefan is the only person available to stay with you tonight? Not Bonnie, not me?"

"The only person I like."

I try it again – more stern, "Caroline."

"Well that's convenient for us because no one likes you or you're lunatic husband!"

"Elena."

"Then let me do you a favor, sweetie." Mean girl Caroline moves her hands to her hips.

"Puh-leeze…" Elena shakes her head in disgust.

"Since you don't like us, I'd hate to waste your time and keep you as my maid of honor." Elena's mouth falls open a bit. "Maybe Meredith is available…"

Again, I try to interfere. "That's enough, Caroline."

"Whatever you want Caroline, this will be just another time in the long list of things you force people to do… mandatory fun time when everyone is really miserable."

"Was that supposed to be hurtful, Elena?" Caroline smiles her wicked smile, "The last person I'd take 'fun advice' from is you… If its not about you or for you it's not really worth dealing with, am I right?"

"Go to hell, Caroline!" Elena sighs, turning on her heel and heading out of the door.

"God, what a bitch!" It's not loud, and I know she's just venting, but it pisses me off nonetheless.

"Caroline – that is my wife…" She starts to open her mouth, smart off I'm sure, but I feel my brow lower a bit and her lips close tight. "That is my wife and you are my best friend, but don't think for a moment that I'm going to allow you to speak to her like that. Understand?"

She crosses her arms again, rolls her eyes… but she nods her head – Caroline knows me so well that she knows that Elena is untouchable in my eyes. She'll always come first, no matter what.

-Elena-

I just want to slam the damn door. That's it.

I honestly don't know whether or not either of us came out the victor and that may be worst of all – knowing that all the things I wanted to say to Caroline did not get said. Every word that I'd planned out on the way over – how I imagined it going – I lost it all when Stefan wouldn't let my hand go.

And now here he is, his strength too much for me, holding the door by the top of the window frame – my pulling barely affecting him at all.

"Elena, don't leave like this."

"What?" Don't leave like what? Angry? I've just been called self-absorbed, bitchy, a bad wife, and unlikable… "How should I leave, Stefan?"

"Look, she's tired, she's not thinking right…"

"You're taking up for her?!" I let the door go, shocked… but not really. Of course he is. He always does. Stefan and Caroline, the wonder duo. "Why am I surprised?"

"Elena, no." Stefan does that neck popping thing he does when he's getting aggravated, annoyed by me I assume – the slight turning of his head, flexed jaw. Squinting in the low, west sun, the green of his eyes has turned to a hypnotizing, burning amber. "It's just that I don't want you and her to let this affect your friendship."

He's beautifully selfless... concerned about my friendship with Caroline. No matter how irate I may be, that's one fact I cannot avoid.

"Our friendship ended a long time ago… the moment you stepped into our lives, I imagine."

He frowns, "What?"

Wow. I guess I hadn't realized I felt that way… funny how anger and hurt can brew together into a sort of natural truth serum. Just saying it feels like exhaling and I rest my head against the headrest before continuing - breathing deeply

"You two have been friends for years… all of this time?"

"But it's been ending. For years it's been ending…" I turn to look at him, looking up at his beautiful face warmly lit by the setting sun - I wonder if I'll ever have him like I used to… like when we were tucked away in Thailand, in love and delirious with one another. "She's your friend, Stefan… or whatever she is to you."

The clenching of his jaw shadows on his face as he looks away from me for a long moment, aggravated with this topic once more.

"What does that even mean, Elena? Whatever she is to me…" Stefan is turning cold, our gravity, though it was rough and harsh like an ocean swell, had still been inviting up until now. He's not moved away, still looking down into my eyes, but there's a chill passing between us – and it's getting worse with each passing second. "How many times do I have to tell you that she's my friend. Nothing more. Nothing less. How many times can I prove to you that there will never be anyone else for me… Elena, what else can I do?"

I know that. I do. And if I didn't, the look in his amber-green eyes is all I would need to convince myself that what he's saying – what he's said over and over – is the truth… but, I can't help my jealousy over the connection they share.

The way he trusts her.

How she's never hurt him, or made him doubt her.

Hmm. Another epiphany… it's not that I think he loves her, I'm threatened by the fact that she's been better to Stefan than I have.

My voice sounds so small, quiet in the gentle breeze of nightfall. "I just… I wish you needed me like you seem to need her."

"Is that why you asked me to avoid her?" I'm still ashamed about that request – weeks ago, in Thailand, so soon after I learned about what Katherine did… I just give a half nod/half shrug and hope he doesn't know that secretly, I still wish he would remove Caroline from his life. "Elena… I do need her, you're right." Ouch. I should have been prepared for that. Stefan doesn't candy the truth. "She lets me talk things through. She reminds me that I'm not the monster I once was. I may not be a vampire any longer, but all those things that I did – what I've done to you, to us – it haunts me, Elena. And Caroline, she doesn't let me drown in that guilt, she reminds me that I'm not what I've done in my past. And when I thought I'd lost you forever, Caroline never let me give up hope. She never let me forget how much you loved me… and now, she only wants the best for me – for us."

I should look away from him, not let him see how actually saying these things is releasing a torrid amount of emotion that I'm having trouble keeping in check – "You used to need me like that, Stefan." my voice breaks a bit with his name, my eyes watering with sure to come tears. The realization that I've been demoted in his life is, quite frankly, agonizing.

"Do you think that's romantic, Elena? Being needed?" Stefan sounds like I've just said something ludicrous, like he can't believe I'd want him to need me like he used to.

"Isn't that what being in love is, Stefan?"

He stays quiet for a moment – listening to my words, holding them in his thoughts… it's what I fell in love with first, this way that Stefan hears me like no one else ever has.

"For years it seemed like my every breath depended on you – on being near you, on you being happy. Like I wouldn't be able to go on without your love. I can remember laying awake at night, trying so hard to think of a way to win you back from Damon, then how I could break Damon's compulsion – four years later, the morning of your interview in Roanoke… I ran a few miles for no other reason than to try and burn the image of your face out of my mind for a while." I smile. I can't stop it… the curling of my lips as I watch my husband open up to me and remind me of how amazing his words can be. "But being with you in Thailand, having Grayson and Allie… something changed. I don't know, I feel… I feel less dependent on you. And maybe you think that's bad, Elena, but I don't." My smile fades a bit… is dependent bad? "I think about you all the time, still. I wonder what your day is like when I'm not there. I wonder how you're sleeping when I lay down at night. When I do mundane things – eat lunch, get groceries… everything, I think about you. But it's not because I need you, it's because I want you. I want to be in your life and you in mine. I want you to love me and I want to love you… it's not a necessity anymore, but I'll always choose you."

I want to hold him, kiss his face, bury myself in his warm embrace - swallowing hard, holding myself in the drivers seat with white knuckles around the steering wheel. The sound of Matt's tiny cries ends my long moment of silence and I ask without filtering my thoughts, "Then why am I living with Bonnie while you're in an apartment? Why aren't we together, Stefan? If you want to be with me, why aren't you?" I can see it in his eyes, the slight turning of his head, he's the surprised by my forwardness. It doesn't happen often, my catching Stefan off-guard, so I push on – through my voice, trembling with fear of rejection, through the relentless pulling and pushing of our gravity trying to press us together... "I love you. I will love you no matter what happens with Katherine and I know you love me! Stefan, please, forgive me for being so stupid, so cruel… please, come home."

***MORE TO COME***

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**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE 2/16/13 – I promise!**