Chapter Thirty-eight

Centaurs and Spiders and Owls, Oh My…

Hermione crept as stealthily through the brush as she could while chained to Draco, who obviously was unaccustomed to excursions in the woods. He ran into every bramble and bush and tripped over every tree root in his path. After the fourteenth time Hermione shushed him for complaining, he stuck to making grumbling noises in his throat that sounded like he was talking with his mouth shut. Hermione was having a slightly better time of it, but not by much; she'd been in the forest often enough on her missions with Harry and visits to Grawp to know what she was doing, but it was still very dark and the vegetation was very thick.

Hermione paused and bit her lip, looking around, using her wand for light. "I wish I knew where we were," Hermione muttered.

"We're lost?" Draco hissed angrily. "You got us lost in a forest full of dangerous creatures while looking for enormous spiders?"

"No! I mean, I know where we are, I'm just not sure where the acromantulas are." She performed the four-point spell; it showed that they were facing northwest. "The castle is southeast from here, and I know the path to Grawp's lair is that way… ah! There's the clearing!"

"The spiders are in there?" Draco yelped, leaping away from the direction she was pointing.

"No, no, that's where we were all attacked by centaurs… thanks to you," Hermione said lightly.

"Sorry," Draco said with a large sarcastic smile.

"Don't mention it," Hermione said coolly. "After all, that's what got Umbridge out of this school."

"Wait… what?"

"Harry and I—well, I suppose it was just me—I led her in here, when Harry and I left her office that term," Hermione explained absently, heading farther northwest. "The centaurs surrounded us, and Umbridge made the mistake of calling them 'half-breeds' with 'near-human intelligence.' If Grawp hadn't shown up, we'd have all been killed. Anyway, Harry told me later that I'd accidentally taken the same track that had led him and Ron to Aragog. So that clearing is on our way."

"Can't we cut through it?" Draco moaned as she headed around it.

"No," Hermione told him. "There's no cover. That's how the centaurs were able to surround us—we were in the open, and they were hiding in the trees."

Draco sighed, then shook his head. "Is there anything you haven't done?" he mumbled.

"What?"

"You've had every adventure known to wizard kind," Draco pointed out sourly. "Dementors and trolls and giants and acromantulas and murderous centaurs… wasn't it enough for you three to single-handedly win a freaking war against some of the world's most powerful wizards? Wasn't that exciting enough?"

"Nope," Hermione said with a smile. "Now be quiet… we're getting close."

"How can you tell? All these trees look the same," Draco grumbled, lowering his voice all the same.

In response, Hermione aimed her lit wand tip at the ground so that Draco could see that the crunching sounds he'd assumed were made by leaves and twigs were, in fact, incredibly large spiders (though they still weren't close to an acromantula's size). Shuddering deeply, he crept a little closer to Hermione. "So… these acromantulas," Draco whispered. "You said Potter and Weasley met them."

"Yeah, so?" Hermione muttered distractedly, intent upon untangling herself from a particularly vicious bramble.

"So they won't hurt you, right? They know you, like that giant does?" He figured this was why she was so calm about approaching them.

"Oh, no—I was petrified when Harry and Ron came in here and met them. Besides, Aragog—the chief or whatever the acromantulas call their leader—he told Harry and Ron that he wasn't going to prevent the other spiders from eating Harry and Ron. Said that since Hagrid was the one who raised Aragog from an egg, Hagrid was under Aragog's protection, but he wasn't going to extend that to anyone else. There!" Hermione finally tugged herself free. "Harry and Ron were attacked, nearly killed—"

"WHAT?" Draco yelped.

"SHH!"

"Oh, this just keeps getting better and better," Draco snarled. "Giant evil intelligent spiders, us alone, me unarmed, and they've already threatened to kill you lot once. Just great."

"We'll be fi—look out!" Hermione shrieked, pointing behind him.

"Yeah, right, Granger, like I'm really going to fall for that. Sure, there's some big huge monster behind me." Rolling his eyes, he glanced over his shoulder, intending to make his point. Instead, he came face to face with a spider as big as a Blast-Ended Skrewt.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Get down!" Hermione shouted, but there was no need; Draco was already diving behind her as the spider moved forward. Hermione drew back her wand and slashed it forward… and just like that, the acromantula was blasted on its back.

"Ha!" Draco gloated, strutting forward. "Those things aren't so—AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The acromantula rolled back upright with impossible agility. Hermione, who had been expecting this, took aim again. Draco, who hadn't been expecting this, ran like a bitch.

"Argh!" Hermione was jerked sideways by the chain and was forced to follow as Draco tore through the trees like a wood chipper, heading back the way they came. "MALFOY! Stop! You're going to get us killed!"

Hermione didn't know what to do. The spider was giving chase, and Draco was showing no signs of slowing. If she tried to stop him by yanking on the chain, she'd waste precious seconds that would allow the acromantula to catch her. If she turned around to aim, she'd get yanked off her feet by Draco before she could get a spell off, and running backward would probably send her straight into a tree. In vain she fired off curses over her shoulder, but the spider dodged easily.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"STOP!"

"Running will not save you, useless human!" the spider said, its pincers clicking loudly.

"AAA—OOF!"

Draco ran into something large and furry and fell backwards. Hermione, not missing a beat, spun round and hit the pursuing spider with a jet of red light. It stopped, rolling over again, and before it could get back up she hit it with three more quick spells.

"ARGH!"

"The spider's down, you idiot—"

"Murderous centaur! Murderous centaur!" Draco screeched, diving behind Hermione again.

"Hello," said a sad, doleful voice.

Hermione froze, recognizing it at once. Whipping her head around, she saw that the large, furry object Draco had bounced off of was in fact Ronan, the chestnut-bodied, redheaded centaur who had been against killing her and Harry. "Ronan," she breathed fearfully, backing up a step and accidentally stamping on Draco's foot. Draco barely noticed; he clutched her shoulders and ducked his head down, whimpering in panic.

"Wait," Neville called as they stood at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Dean and Seamus halted immediately, Harry and Ginny a bit more reluctantly. Luna simply stood gazing vaguely into space. "What?" Harry demanded.

"Harry—shouldn't we have some sort of plan before we go in there?" Neville asked timidly. "You know… a plan of action… or at least a weapon?"

"We have wands," Ginny reminded him.

"Yes, but… I mean, maybe we should get Hagrid…?"

"Yes, let's do that!" Dean said quickly.

"Hagrid's down at the pub," Harry said shortly.

"Well… well, one of us could go and get him…"

"There's no time for that! Hermione could be hurt," Harry snapped.

"I know, I know, but… well… it is dark…"

"Are you lot coming with me or not?" Harry burst out angrily. "If you're not, just say so, because I don't have time for—"

"Potter?"

Harry jumped. A tall figure was walking towards them across the darkened lawn—Snape.

"Is that you, Professor?" Harry called.

"Yes, yes—what are you doing down here?" Snape asked.

"I… what are you doing down here?" Harry retorted. He wasn't going to let a teacher, any teacher, prevent him from rescuing Hermione. Given Snape's new insanity, he might be easier to get around, and Harry had to take that chance.

"I'm on my way to the gate," Snape said with a shrug. "I was planning on taking the Floo network, but I don't fancy being covered in ash when I get there."

They all stared at him, noticing in the light of their wands that Snape appeared to have taken great care in his appearance. He seemed freshly showered; his hair wasn't greasy at all. He was back to wearing black, thankfully, but the smile on his face completely destroyed any evil points the black clothing could have given him, especially when combined with—

"Are you wearing perfume?" Ginny demanded incredulously.

"Who, me? No, no, of course not," Snape said hastily, backing away slowly. "It's… potion ingredients, you know, horrid smells all the time… well, I'll leave you to… whatever you're doing…"

Harry, Ginny, Dean, Seamus and Neville gaped at him as he hastily retreated; even Luna looked mildly interested. "What was that all about?" Seamus wondered.

Ginny rounded on Harry. "Okay. I know Hermione's in there alone with Malfoy, and I know there are dangerous things in that forest, but Harry, we have to stop Snape. We have to figure out what he's up to. Never have I wanted to play detective with you and Hermione and Ron like I do right now, but since the world is completely out of whack at the moment and we've got these four instead of those two, I say we follow him first. Hermione's capable of holding off until we get there, and I want to know what Snape is up to."

"It could be important," Dean added, nodding emphatically.

"And we'll probably get lost in the forest anyway," Luna added serenely. "For ages, until the Glob Sludge gets us…"

"Glob Sludge?" Neville repeatedly anxiously.

"Yes, it's quite horrible, you know—"

Harry frowned, tuning out of the conversation. Hermione was alone in the forest with Malfoy… but there was no way Fred and George could have gotten her wand from her cuff. She could take care of herself for a few more moments… and they did need to figure out what was up with Snape… if he was meeting someone in Hogsmeade, they could solve the mystery once and for all… and if Snape had somehow had a hand in putting those visions and dreams in Harry's head…

"All right," Harry muttered. "But if it takes more than a few minutes, we're heading back up here."

Dean, Seamus and Neville hastily nodded, and the six of them hurried off after Snape.

Unlike her last encounter with the centaurs, Hermione had been prepared for something like this, just in case. Therefore, she had a better idea of what to say. Hastily she stuffed her wand in her arm cuff and held up her hands in the classic position of surrender, willing herself to stay calm.

"Ronan, I know you and the other centaurs didn't want me to come back," Hermione said, trying not to babble but only halfway succeeding, "and I've only been going to see Grawp until today, like Hagrid arranged with you. I haven't even been in here very often since school started, what with how busy I've been. I didn't mean to intrude on your territory. It's just that there's this prank war going on, and we were stranded here. I just wanted to capture an acromantula for revenge. I know it was wrong of me to go where I told you I wouldn't, I just—"

"Be at ease," Ronan interrupted. "You are one of the three who killed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. We now call you 'the Daughter of Athena,' and I am honored to be in your presence. Please extend my regards and apologies to the Chosen One for our previous treatment. I will not harm you, nor will any other of my kind, but I implore you—make haste towards the safety of the castle. There are other dangers lurking in this forest."

"Thank you," Hermione said, sighing in relief. "And… I'll tell Harry what you said." She pointed her wand at the spider, and it rose into the air, hovering a few feet off the ground; it would follow where she led it. She started to push past Ronan, Draco following her closely and still shaking, but she paused and looked around uncertainly. "Erm… that is the right way to the castle, isn't it?" she asked, pointing.

"Yes."

"Thanks. Goodbye, Ronan."

"Goodbye, Daughter of Athena."

Draco gaped after Ronan as he cantered away, then hurried forward to walk close to Hermione, as the spider was floating uncomfortably close behind them. "You weren't sure where the castle was?"

"I just wanted confirmation," Hermione insisted, but Draco thought she looked a tad shifty.

"You could have walked us into the middle of a nest of werewolves!"

"Considering it's nowhere near the full moon, I doubt it," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

"Still!" Draco sighed, glaring at her, then looking back at the spider apprehensively. "You sure that thing isn't going to attack?"

"Positive. Now hurry up; it should be about a half hour walk to Hagrid's from here, minimum."

"Why are we going to Hagrid's?"

"You'll see when we get there."

Draco frowned. "What was all that about with the centaur?"

"I guess they've all changed their minds about us now that Voldemort's dead," Hermione said with an irritable shrug.

"No… I mean the 'Daughter of Athena' stuff."

"I don't know. I guess that's their way of honoring us. The Chosen One would be Harry—everyone's been calling him that."

"Where do you think they got your nickname?"

"I don't know… Athena was the goddess of wisdom."

"And war, right?"

"Yes, but not like Ares. Ares just liked blood and mayhem. She liked championing causes."

"So she was a goody-goody like you," Draco said cheerfully. "Eh, makes sense, doesn't it? Of course, she was a virgin, and you're a tramp—"

"For crying out loud, will you shut up about that already?" Hermione grumbled.

"No. It's true. And I'm going to make sure everyone knows it."

"You're going to make a fool out of yourself, you know."

"Gee, like I've never done that before," he said, rolling his eyes. "It'll be worth it. The tattoo was." Hermione gritted her teeth. Seeing this, he pressed on a bit more gleefully. "I bet even now everyone's talking about what happened at Quidditch practice on Monday."

"Shut up," Hermione growled. "That's old news."

"Yeah, but the week's been so quiet there isn't much else to talk about but Monday," Draco pointed out smugly. "Yeah, I bet the team told everyone about how you tried to 'chew off my major appendage' and all. Of course, they might start thinking that 'chew off' was slang for something else, something with a more positive meaning—"

"You're disgusting."

"Says the girl who's shagging Snape."

"I AM NOT—look," Hermione snapped, stopping and turning to look at him, fighting to keep her rage in check, "I thought we had a deal. We call a truce until this prank is over."

"But you're just so hot when you're angry," Draco said mockingly.

"Okay," Hermione said, glaring dangers at his smirking face, "I'm tired, I'm cold, I'm covered in dirt and scratches, my senses are on high alert for evil creatures, you have no wand and I have a giant spider under my control. A giant poisonous spider, I should say. Is this really the best time to be making me angry?"

Draco's smugness changed immediately to nervousness. "All right, point taken."

"Thank you."

As they continued onward, however, Draco couldn't resist once last dig.

"You're welcome. I figure I should be a little nicer to you, anyway." Hermione shot him an incredulous look. "What? I mean, after all, since you've been chained to me, you haven't been able to shag Wood or Snape. Must be terribly frustrating for you."

Hermione let out a small scream and marched on. Draco followed with a grin on his face and bounce in his step.

He watched her march angrily towards the castle, amused and thoughtful at the change in her. Her revelations about Ron would make life a lot easier for Draco… after all, the euphoria centering on Ron had been all that kept her from losing her cool when Draco attempted to attack her. That euphoria had since been replaced by determination and vengeful wrath, with which would surely come satisfaction, but that was nothing like what Ron's return had given her. He could get under her skin now… and the idea was more appealing than ever.

"So," Draco said after granting her a few minutes' peace, "what's next in this devious little plan of yours?"

"Hopefully," Hermione said stiffly, "you'll break your nose walking into a tree."

"Well, what's after that?" Draco asked cheerfully, to ensure that she couldn't have the pleasure of bothering him.

Hermione heaved a sigh. "We're going to Hagrid's."

"Why? That great oaf might try to steal our big evil dangerous spider."

"Better not let Grawp hear you saying mean things about his big brother," Hermione said coolly, then smirked when Draco looked around nervously.

"That's not funny," Draco insisted, glowering at her—and promptly walking into a tree. Hermione burst out laughing.

"Oh, ha, ha," Draco said sourly, rubbing the side of his head. "Now come on. We've got people to prank, don't we? What's next?"

"Oh, I just love it when you're all business," Hermione said dryly. Before Draco could retort, she continued. "We're going to Hagrid's to send a message to Harry. We found out last Wednesday that he had detention in the greenhouses today; with any luck, he'll still be there."

"Hagrid has an owl?" Draco asked.

"Yes," Hermione said, not meeting his eye.

"Okay, then."

"Now be quiet," Hermione said, pushing ahead. "Remember what Ronan said about other dangers in here."

Draco swallowed and decided she was probably right. They marched back through the trees with only the occasional complaints and bickering matches. The way back was much easier; they'd managed to clear something of a path on their way through the forest.

After a long while, Hermione veered off their path and onto a slightly clearer trail that she frequented on her visits to Grawp. Winded, cold and irritable, they kept quiet, until Hermione whispered, "Careful—we're pretty close to Fluffy."

"Fluffy? You're worried about something called Fluffy?"

Hermione paused, then lowered the spider to the ground so that she could maneuver her still-lit wand better. "Tell you what. Take this and just look through those trees right there."

Draco took Hermione's wand and held it aloft. Three seconds later, as his eyes widened in terror at the sight of the giant three-headed dog chained to a large tree, he started screaming hysterically.

"Hagrid named him," Hermione said simply with the utmost satisfaction as she reclaimed her wand and waved it; a haunting melody started playing, and the dog's eyes closed quickly.

"Oh, my god," Draco moaned, shaking badly. "We've got to get out of this forest, Granger."

Hermione paused and looked around, suddenly appearing puzzled. "Oh, damn—I think we're lost again."

"WHAT?"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," she said, grinning smugly.

"You little…"

"Temper, temper! Remember—giant spider, giant dog, giant giant…"

"I hate you."

"Likewise. Ah, here we are."

They emerged quite suddenly from the forest and found themselves in Hagrid's pumpkin patch. "Come on," Hermione told him, and went and rapped on Hagrid's front door.

"This shouldn't be too hard to explain," Draco muttered, looking at Hermione and then at himself, their clothes still under the illusion charms, the both of them looking like they'd lost a fight to an army of bowtruckles, and the acromantula floating overhead.

"Hagrid's pretty nice about helping us, no matter what we've been up to," Hermione called over Fang's barks. "But it looks like he's not home." Heaving a great sigh, Hermione set the spider down carefully and waved her wand at the door. It promptly popped open. "Stay here," she told Draco, grabbing Fang's collar and pulling him away from Draco.

"Hey, why?" Draco demanded, casting an apprehensive look at the spider.

"Someone needs to watch it."

"Well, it sure as hell isn't going to be me!"

"Fang doesn't know you!"

"Fang met me in our first year! We ran from the Dark Lord together! It was a bonding experience!"

"Well, dogs have short memories," Hermione snapped, slamming the door on him. She turned to head for Hagrid's table and, having overlooked the problem of the chain, nearly cut off her own hand.

"Forget something?" Draco asked, holding up his wrist when she reopened the door irritably.

"Shut up," Hermione growled as she let him in. "Don't touch anything. We won't be here long… I just need to write a note to Harry."

Grabbing a scrap piece of parchment and a quill, Hermione wrote one note to Harry and another to Hagrid, apologizing for helping herself to his house. Then she led the way outside, Draco grumbling behind her about dog drool.

"Bloody beast… probably the little brother of that Fluffy monstrosity…"

"Hi!" Hermione called out, and Draco looked up, expecting to see Hagrid's owl. What he saw instead made him gape at Hermione in horror.

"Oh, hell no," Draco breathed. "Are you insane? You want to send a letter with that?"

"He'll do fine," Hermione insisted. "Have you got a better idea? If Hagrid isn't here, we're going to have to use what we've got."

Draco sighed as Hermione moved towards it. "I've got a bad feeling about this," he muttered.

"Harry, slow down!" Neville puffed. Ginny, Dean, Seamus, Neville and Luna were all extremely winded—so was Harry, really, but he was refusing to let it slow him down.

"We've got to save Hermione!" Harry snapped. Their pursuit of Snape had been useless; Snape had Apparated immediately once leaving the grounds. Thus they had no idea where he was going, though they doubted Snape was going to Hogsmeade, as there wouldn't have been much point in Apparating a few feet, and most wizards considered it rude to Apparate directly into someone's home anyway. "I knew we shouldn't have wasted time on Snape…"

"Harry, if we collapse from exhaustion, we're not going to be able to save anyone!" Ginny panted.

Harry glared at her but halted, and the others gratefully stopped, breathing hard and clutching stitches in their sides. "Hurry up," he called impatiently, pulling the Marauder's Map out of the pocket of his cloak to check that Hermione was still in the forest. He received a pleasant surprise, however.

"Hey!" he called. Ginny looked up from where she'd collapsed on the grass. "Hermione and Malfoy made it out! They're at Hagrid's!"

"Oh, thank god," Ginny gasped, wiping the sweat off her forehead and sighing in relief.

"That's great," Neville said.

"LOOK OUT!" Seamus bellowed, and Harry dropped the map, fumbling for his wand and whipping around to see something the size of a baby elephant flying at them in an erratic sort of way. Its wingspan was roughly fifteen feet, and it was twittering madly, its enormous body oddly shapeless in the dark. The five Gryffindors and Luna scattered, yelling.

"Argh!"

"Run!"

"It's a Kacknarc!"

Harry tried to raise his wand but too late; he was knocked flat on his back by the large, feathery mass of the creature. It zoomed over and past him, still babbling incoherently in its own language.

Harry twisted around and took aim. "Stup—"

"No!" Ginny shrieked, knocking his wand down. "It's Pig!"

Sure enough, the freakish creature was not attacking, but flying round and round Harry and Ginny like an overexcited racehorse. At last, Pig landed and stuck out its leg, nearly decapitating Luna with his claws.

"Hermione must have sent it," Harry muttered, snatching the note from Pig's leg and glaring at it.

"She had to get a cat, didn't she?" Ginny said. "Couldn't get an owl, could she? No, she figured it'd be just fine to borrow other people's owls instead. Good plan, Hermione. Makes perfect sense."

"Nothing has made sense in a very long time," Harry said wearily.

"What's it say?" Luna asked curiously as Pig took flight again, heading back to Hagrid's. Harry cleared his throat and read it aloud.

Dear Harry,

Ron has betrayed us. The twins carried Malfoy and me into the forest and left us there; they stole Draco's wand. I already have a plan for revenge, but it involves Dean, Seamus and Neville. You have to keep them out of the dormitory. Meet me at the broom shed by the Quidditch pitch, and I'll explain everything. Come as fast as you can.

Love from,

Hermione

P.S. I hope it didn't startle you too badly to see Pig flying at you.

"That's putting it mildly," Seamus growled, glaring after Pig.

"What's this about us being involved, then?" Dean asked.

"I don't know," Harry said, stuffing the note in his pocket along with the map. "You best come with us to the broom shed."

"Why the broom shed?" Ginny wondered, frowning. "Surely she's not thinking of flying… she hates flying."

"Who knows? Come on," Harry said, already striding across the lawn. Ginny and Luna hurried after him.

Dean, Seamus and Neville looked at each other. "What do you think?" Dean asked. "Should we go?"

"Hell yeah," Seamus said gleefully. "This ought to be good."