Chapter Twenty-Seven
Miranda isn't sure if she did the right thing calling him, but it's too late to change her mind now. She should have called a cab and not Kurt, but now that he knows about Kenny, he will come, because he is worried and she wouldn't be able to keep him away now, even if she tried. She simply needed someone and he's the only person who she could think of with her parents gone and her sister having an open house all day. But he is Kenny's father after all and she really didn't ask for much, just for him to take her and Kenny to the doctor and Kurt promised to be there as soon as possible.
She is sitting with the crying kid in her lap, he is burning from fever and she isn't able to bring his temperature down. She tried to call their doctor, but he doesn't have time for house calls until the evening and she doesn't want to risk her son's health by sitting around, waiting. She feels helpless and hates herself for it. Whenever Kenny gets sick she panics, she doesn't handle his suffering well, she never did. Tanya is a pro at keeping her sane, taking the situation in her hands. Miranda wishes her sister could be here now, but she has made enough sacrifices for them already.
When the doorbell rings she rushes there with Kenny in her arms.
"Hey, thank you for this, I really had no one else to call," she explains, because relying on him makes her even more insecure.
She wanted to do all of this without him and now here she is, asking him for favors. She already regrets calling him, even though there is no way back now.
"It's okay, how is he?" Kurt looks at the kid and she can see the worry all over his face,
"Not well, can we leave right now?"
She reminds herself that her son should be her main focus now, she will deal with her conscience later.
"Sure."
"There's his coat," he points at the rack and Kurt helps her dress Kenny, then holds him while she quickly throws on her coat.
She is surprised to find a baby seat in his car and the sight of it makes her smile. He is really trying to be a dad and she appreciates his efforts. She puts Kenny in the seat and sits in the back next to him. Kurt checks on them before he starts the engine, to make sure they are settled in.
"We might have to wait there longer. Are you sure we are not holding you back from work or anything else?" Miranda asks hesitantly. Had she thought of this earlier, she might never have called.
"I'm sure, it's the least I can do," he sounds confident and she promises herself not to question his presence again.
"Fortunately he isn't sick too often, but I can't get used to seeing him like this," she constantly keeps an eye on her son next to him.
"The doctor will help, he'll be fine," he says confidently.
"I know," she looks at his face in the rear-view mirror and for a moment she feels a sudden calmness spread over her.
She is aware that she shouldn't use him like this, that calling him was a bad idea, but she is still glad he's here with her, with them, his presence makes it a lot easier.
o-o-o
"He is finally asleep," she whispers, turning to Kurt.
They came back from the doctor about an hour ago. He gave Kenny a shot and prescribed medication, that they got in the pharmacy on their way home. Miranda finally feels that things are looking up and she doesn't even know how to thank Kurt for being there all this time. She doesn't want to send him away, because she sees that he is worried about their son just as much as her. But she also knows that sooner or later he will have to leave. She just wishes it would be later, he should at least stay until her sister comes home.
"Tanya should be home in an hour, so if you have to go, I understand," she says softly, her words contradicting her feelings.
"I should be going," he replies and she desperately tries to think of how to make him stay for at least another hour.
"Maybe you could stay for a quick dinner? It's the least I can do in return, for helping us out," she offers cautiously.
He glances at her and she's trying to figure out what could be going on in his head. His wife is probably waiting for him at home, she knows that. And she doesn't want to come between them, that's not her intention. She's just been through a shocking afternoon and doesn't want to be alone.
"Let me make a phone call," he responds after a short period of silence and Miranda has no doubt who he is about to call.
"Of course," she nods.
Kurt leaves the room and she turns her attention back to her baby boy. He is finally sleeping and seems peaceful, but she knows it won't last too long. The effect of the shot will soon wear off and he will be crying and suffering again. Seeing her child in pain is the part of motherhood she will never be able to get used to. And at times like this she regrets that she chose to take up parenting on her own.