Thank you to everyone for the comments, follows and favs (again some very kind comments that I really appreaciate). Sorry if this is a bit too dark for some xx
Chapter 3
In the few minutes before Mr Kaplan called Lizzie back she had called Red to tell him of the development. The news that Lizzie had reached out is met with silence; she can always surprise him but he's shocked she's done this, he didn't want it to be this easy, he wanted not to find her at all.
"Bring her here." He instructs.
"And if she resists?" Kaplan asks.
"She won't" Red says.
"And if she does?" Kaplan pushes further, wondering about the relationship between Red and the FBI woman.
"She's not to be harmed." He says then pauses, "If she needs anything..." Red trails off.
"Of course" Kaplan replies before disconnecting and dialling the number Lizzie left.
In the car Lizzie has time to think it all through. She knows for certain her instincts are right. If Raymond Reddington wants her then there is no point running, no point hiding. And she thinks Elizabeth Scott Keen is no coward, she won't run from the future but instead, meet it head on.
When they arrive at their destination she's escorted up the steps and handed over to a sombre looking Dembe. He doesn't speak as he leads her inside and she can't bring herself to look at him. Dembe shows her into a dimly lit room, where she thinks, her future awaits.
"What are you doing here?" Red asks looking none too pleased to see her. Is this how it will be from now on she wonders, since he no longer has to hide his distaste?
"I understood you were looking for me." She replies.
He just tilts his head back slightly, "why did you come?" He asks her, his tone hard, almost abrasive.
"I'm sorry if I robbed you of the satisfaction of infiltrating a Blacksite or storming a safe house but I thought there was no point in putting off the inevitable. You wanted me, so here I am" she explains.
"Why did you come?" He asks again, his tone darker still.
Within her anger bubbles but it's tempered by her belief that this is the right course of action. At the very least she's saved the bloodshed that would have been caused if Red had sent someone in to retrieve her. Why has she come? There are a million good reasons but also not a single one. She doesn't respond.
Red stands silently, examining her for a few moments.
"There is blood on your clothing" His statement more of a question, tilting his head to indicate her left arm.
"They put a tracker in; I thought it best if I removed it." She replies without glancing down at the now drying blood.
"Did you clean the wound?" he starts to say something further but as he steps in she flinches. It is the smallest of movements but he sees it.
She recovers quickly, "I did what I could, it's not going to kill me, let's put it that way" she says darkly.
Her words anger him, and it doesn't go unnoticed by her. He wants to say something but he can't comfort her, that would be wrong. Besides, she's lost all faith in him, even if he told her how he felt about her, what he's grown to feel despite every effort, she would never believe it. He's robbed her of trust and faith; she'll believe only violence and greed now.
He extends a hand, indicating that she should sit. She hesitates, wondering why he wishes to remain in her company. They haven't seen each other for months so perhaps he has a genuine interest, or perhaps he wants to know how they finally figured out the Raymond Reddington/Elizabeth Keen mystery.
"Where were you?" He asks when he's certain his anger is under control.
"At a safe house with Ressler and some other field agents" she explains.
He shakes his head and she braces herself for yet another of his G-Men comments, "and what incompetency allowed you to escape undetected."
Despite the uneasy relationship she's had with Ressler she feels herself bristling at the slight, "they are prepared for someone trying to get in, not someone getting out".
"And yet you evaded their security measures and detection long enough to remove a tracking chip and place yourself in great danger" he says.
It makes her pause but then she replies, "I didn't want Ressler or the rest of the team hurt trying to protect me."
"It's their job to protect you, with their lives if necessary" Red says, his tone betraying him, revealing the anger she saw moments ago.
"No, it's not" she says, challenging him again but she can't keep the sorrow from her expression and for him it's almost heartbreaking.
Time passes and they are both lost in thought, it's Red who finally interrupts the silence. "Have you eaten?"
"I had dinner with everyone before I left" it's the truth, she did eat with everyone before she said she was going for an early night, before she lied to them, but it's more that the idea of food is turning her stomach just now.
"Would you like some wine?" He asks quietly, trying to gauge her emotional state from her body language and responses. Her silence worries him, but what would be an appropriate response in a situation like this?
"No" she says shaking her head. "I'd like to get cleaned up if possible" she tells him, thinking about the dirt on her clothes and on her hands following her trip through the woods.
He stands and leads her out of the room, up the stairs and to the left. He stops at the door of a room, opening it and motioning for her to go inside. "You should find everything you need in the bathroom, and there are clothes for you in the wardrobe and dresser" he says stepping back from her.
She walks in and stops in the middle of the room looking around at the furnishings. It's very Red. Or who she thinks him to be; luxuriously decorated with expensive fabrics and furniture.
"If you need anything" he says, leaving the sentence unfinished and stepping in to pull the door closed.
"What do I do? If I need something" she asks, panic rising in her and apparent in her tone. She's exhausted and that's why she's so easily flustered but a quick glance round the room has revealed no telephone or other device, how will she tell someone if she needs something. Will they check on her or just abandon her until she's needed?
"You can chap on my door; my room is across the hall. Or if you prefer you can ask Dembe, he is in the room opposite the staircase" Red says, a frown touching his features.
"I won't be locked in?" She says in disbelief.
"No Lizzie, you are free to roam any area of the house, it has an excellent library and a well stocked kitchen both of which you should feel free to use. The only thing I ask is that you first speak to Dembe or I if you wish to go outside" Red says watching her closely.
She just looks at him. Confused by the casual arrangement he is explaining. He bids her goodnight but she just stands staring as he closes the door and leaves her alone.
The silence in the room leaves her with her own thoughts and that's impetus enough to make her move. In the bathroom she takes a long hot shower, attempting to remove the dirt and some of the tension from her body. It's ineffective on the later but it's still a relief to feel clean. Using what she finds, and what she brought with her, she cleans and dresses the wound from the tracking chip. In the dresser she finds a whole array of clothes, surely more than she'll need for her stay. The thought makes her shiver slightly so she dresses quickly in soft yoga pants and a long sleeved T-shirt and slips into bed.
However, try as she might she can't sleep. Every time she closes her eyes she sees trees, she knows she's running through the forest but she's not sure if the memory is from today, when she ran here or from the night she ran from The Stewmaker. Neither are pleasant memories for her so instead of sleeping she just spends the hours thinking about Sam, her time spent with him, their conversations.
Just after dawn she showers again, dresses in more of the clothing that stocks the dresser and wardrobe and makes her way downstairs. Red hears her from his place at the dining room table. He's surprised she's up so early and he listens to her soft footsteps as she hesitantly makes her way through the rooms finally finding the dining room, pausing when she sees him.
"Good morning" he greets her.
"Morning" she says rather self consciously as she steps into the room.
"There are cereals and fruit for breakfast on the side table or you can have something hot if you prefer" Red tells her, indicating the selection of foods to the side of the room.
"This'll be fine" she says going over and pouring a small amount of cereal and milk.
Red is reading a newspaper, pretending not to watch her but he's using every sense and his peripheral vision to get an idea of what she's doing, how she is. He is aware of her little hesitations, before she finally takes a seat a few places down from him.
He sees that try as she might she can't seem to eat anything. It's not without effort, she stills as if talking to herself, preparing herself or chastising herself for her weakness but it seems of no benefit and she continues to push the cereal around the bowl without consuming anything. Finally she gives up, settling back and nervously rubbing her hands together before stilling and waiting quietly for whatever will happen next.
"Perhaps you'd like to see the library" he says to break her from her thoughts.
Her reactions are slow as she turns to look at him.
"Did you sleep at all last night?" He asks, aware of her lethargic movements.
There seems no answer to his question, or at least none that will stop him asking anything further so she just takes a deep breath and looks away from him.
When he stands she follows, allowing herself to be taken to the library in the back of the house. It's an impressive room, floor to ceiling shelves of books, all leather bound and enticing looking. But it's the view from the window that catches her eye; it was dark when she came in last night so she couldn't have known what was out there.
The front of the house opens up into a large lawn, which drops away slightly 30 metres from the house but then continues. Some distance away the area is surrounded by trees but the sweep of the grass as it extends into the distance is mesmerising. It's obviously well maintained, as far as her naked eye can see it's carefully cut and cared for. The interior ground manicured perfectly, and while the area beyond is similar; it also retains the natural undulations of the earth, slightly rising and falling in a hypnotic way.
Red watches as she settles in a seat at the window, the seat that he prefers when he is in this house, himself captivated by the wide expanse of the garden. Hours pass and she doesn't speak, he lets her be, lets her consider all the details her eye can pick out. When tea arrives he prepares her a cup and serves it to her without a word. She takes the offered cup and he's relieved to see her drink from it.
Another hour passes and he thinks it's time for a change of scenery. Or at least to move from looking at it, to getting into it. Fresh air will undoubtedly do her good. He goes upstairs to her room and chooses a warm sweater that she can wear outside. It's not a particularly cold day but he wants her to be comfortable.
When he returns she's just as before, "Lizzie, why don't we step outside, look a bit more closely at the grounds".
She thinks for a beat then slowly rises from her seat, taking the sweater he offers. They silently go outside and make their way to the grounds they've been watching for the window.
Lizzie steps almost reverently onto the grass of the main lawn. It's soft underfoot, cushioning her steps. She closes her eyes, breathes again, enjoying the slight weightless feeling that it gives her. Around her she can hear birds and in the distance the unmistakable sound of the sea. She doesn't know where they are, she doesn't know what will happen to her but there is a peace from this.
Red can feel it, the release of the tension she was holding, it's not all gone, not by a long measure but there is a lifting. He lets her guide the way as she meanders around the manicured lawn. Finally she reaches the steps, leading down to the larger garden. Red is somewhere behind her, giving her space, leaving a distance, so she turns to look at him, almost asking permission. He nods his head as their eyes meet and she holds his gaze for a moment before making her way down the stairs.
"This is beautiful" she says softly but just loud enough for him to hear.
He closes the distance between them, not able to stop himself accompanying her on the journey that he himself has made so many times alone.
This time she chooses a more deliberate path, walking the periphery and using the distance to watch the rise and fall of the ground. About a quarter of the way round she stops and turns back to the house.
"Are you tired?" He asks her, assuming that's why she's stopped.
She nods her head in response, "I'd like to go back now".
He starts back first, moving away for the edge and toward the centre of the garden. She follows and he adjusts his pace until she catches up. They walk back in silence.
When she gets back she goes up to the room she's using, closes the door and lies on the bed fully clothed. But still she doesn't sleep.
Red waits for her to emerge but she doesn't, she hasn't eaten, she's had nothing to drink but the tea in the library. Tomorrow he might need to push a little harder.