A/N: I'm back! And if you're curious about what Vez's gown looks like, wonderful Deviant artist lika-143 has designed 3 possibilities, which I uploaded to the tumblr [vezely . tumblr . com]. Please vote on your favorite when you have time.
Chapter 31 - Elvish Ethics
Vezely gently and slowly ran the tips of her fingers down the length of the gown's long skirt, which she hung from the door of her room's empty wardrobe. The fabric held a softness she was not accustomed to; a delicacy she would not freely choose as a covering for her body - a body of a warrior.
She had almost forgotten to remove the newly purchased garment from its brown packing paper when Legolas and her road back up to the guest villa after the burial ritual and her brief meeting with the Captain that morning. She returned to her room, while Legolas went to meet with Aragorn and Gimli to discuss matters involving the imminent arrival of guests. It was important that Aragorn, himself, and Gimli be prepared to mediate the council with not only the Elven Delegation, but the ambassadors from Dale and the dwarves from Erebor, since they would also be in attendance, along with Eomer and his advisors from Rohan. The crowning of the king was a pivotal turning point in the history of Middle Earth, and Aragorn would have these meetings duly organized in order to glide everyone into an era of extended peace. There would be a number of powerful leaders in attendance, especially from Elvendom: Elrond from Rivendell, Celeborn from Lothlorien, and Thranduil from Mirkwood. While the Elves would be using Minas Tirith to also hold their own Elf-only councils, for the Elves were going through their own period of transition, their interaction with men and dwarves was also critical, especially now that Sauron's presence and territorial inroads were rescinded.
Vez understood this was a pivotal moment for the West, yet it was even more critical for Rhun and she hoped she would be permitted to discuss certain matters with these various ambassadors, in particular those from Dale and Erebor who actually fought against the Easterlings in the north. She needed to know the number of causalities, and whether any retreated or were released and returned to Rhun. The Easterling Coalition was composed of a vast number of clans, whose homelands were spread out in various corners of Rhun from the Eastern borders of Rhovanion to Far Rhun; a coalition she helped forge through her own engagements as a general. While the Coalition had a marked solidarity in fighting style, armor, and weaponry, and all had pledged allegiance to the Dark Lord under one Easterling banner, they maintained their regional cultures, dialects, and customs. Because of this, the Coalition had always been susceptible to fragmentation and Vezely had suspicions of deserter clans who would easily take advantage of Sauron's defeat in order to return and claim a land now vacant of most of its militia.
On top of this, Remi's information about dissent amongst the Variag prisoners had her less than assured about making it back to Rhun peacefully. While the Captain told her not to worry, that he would hold the group together before their release, she suspected a coup was waiting to happen. Perhaps she would be challenged for leadership before they would leave for Rhun, and if challenged should she heed the call and fight the challenger to the death, as expected of one in command. Should she spill more Rhunic blood on Western soil? If it comes to that, she thought darkly, narrowing her eyes. Dressing up for the Coronation seemed the least of her worries at this point.
Her eyes moved from the dark plum-colored fabric to the white linen wrapping tied around her cut left hand, causing her thoughts to shift endearingly of Legolas bandaging it for her earlier that morning. She was not accustomed to being cared for as such, or with so tender a touch as his that she felt smitten just thinking about it. The reminder gave some peace to her troubled thoughts. And instead of staying in her room, she headed to the kitchen hall, knowing the hobbits would be enjoying what they called a "second breakfast." For some reason, she enjoyed being around the hobbits, there was something about their carefree nature which calmed her so she made it a point to join them in the mornings for breakfast or second breakfast when she could.
Sam meticulously cut into his thick slice of ham, carving a perfect bite-sized piece, doing the same to his fried egg. He stacked each on his fork and brought it to his mouth with anticipation, "You know, I quite missed the taste of fried eggs and ham," he said elated, his mouth yet full.
Frodo rounded the table with an equally decked out plate, grabbing one of the blueberry scones piled high in a basket at the table's center, "After lembas almost everyday, anything tastes good," he said cheerfully, grateful to be out of the infirmary and back in the company of close friends.
Merry and Pippin were also seated at the table. Pippin was slathering a scone in clotted cream and raspberry preserves, while Merry was finishing his first glass of fresh squeezed orange juice. "Don't remind me of lembas," Merry warned playfully, after swallowing a big gulp and wiping his mouth off on his sleeve.
Pippin added, "Ya know, if you stretch your imagination, lembas almost taste like these scones, but without the blueberries, clotted cream, and preserves."
Frodo laughed slightly, "I think that's taking out the best parts."
Merry added, "Leaves you just with the dough."
Pippin shrugged before taking another bite of his loaded scone.
"Now we shouldn't be putting down lembas," Sam lectured them while slicing another piece of ham, "It did get us through some rough patches on our journey. We were lucky the Elves provided us with so much." They all nodded to agree, "And I for one will be thanking them again for it when they arrive in Minas Tirith."
"As we all should," Frodo added in support of Sam's suggestion with a small smile.
"I heard they will be here in a few days," Pippin stated with wide eyes, knowing it was news to discover they were close by.
"We should feel quite lucky to be in the company of Elves once again before we return home," Sam added optimistically.
Vez was at the kitchen counter, milling through a large basket of fruit overhearing their pleasant conversation. She decided on a red apple and went to sit on the edge of the long table where the four hobbits were conversing, "But you are in the company of Elves," Vez said casually with a smirk before taking a bite of her apple.
"No offense, Miss Vez," Sam started judiciously, "But you are quite different from the Elves we've spent time with in Rivendell and Lorien."
Vez knew this had to be true, but she was all too curious to hear his description of Elves, for she was curious herself. So she prodded him, "How so?" Her words were mumbled from still chewing on her first bite of apple.
"For one thing, Elves of Lorien and Rivendell do not sit on the edges of tables or speak with their mouths full," Sam spoke as a matter of fact, not implying it as a form of critique, however. Though the words did cause Vez to quickly swallow what she was chewing, smirk at him devilishly, and slide herself onto the bench to sit properly next to Frodo, who smiled at her amused by her reaction.
"And what else?" she asked hoping he'd continue.
"They all wear long robes and have long hair and they walk as if they are gliding on the air beneath them," a string of facts which caused Vez to nod in agreement, knowing she only wore trousers, her hair was uncannily short, and she walked no different than any man did. Then Sam added, "But they be a lot harder to talk frank with, if you know what I mean."
"I think Sam is implying you are easier to talk to," Frodo added a second later; an assertion Vez had not heard before.
"Yes, yes you are Miss Vez, which makes you quite a surprise for an Elf and all," Sam said defending himself against any possible incursion on disrespect.
"I have not been in the company of Elves so I wouldn't know what surprise I hold. But I suppose Elves are a bit removed from hobbits, dwarves, or men," Vez said considering.
"Hobbits are simple folk," Sam clarified.
"Boring is more like it," Merry added, noting he was both excited to return home, while at the same time disheartened that his adventure was at an end.
"You four are far from boring," Vez replied with a smile, before taking another bite of her apple.
"Can't say the same about my ol' gaffer," Sam stated bluntly, "He's about as interesting as watching paint dry on a wagon cart on a long summer afternoon."
"Those Elves aren't going to be staying here, are they?" Pippin interrupted, suddenly wondering.
"Well it is the guest villa Pip, unless Aragorn is letting them stay in the king's private quarters or out in town, I don't imagine they'd stay anyplace else," Merry replied, though none of them knew.
"From what I heard from Legolas, they'll be taking over the East Wing of the villa," Vez relayed this information.
"The whole East Wing?" Pippin queried.
"Not sure, but the dwarf ambassadors from Erebor were decidedly put in the West Wing. I suppose to avoid any difficulties," Vez said shrugging her shoulders.
"They'll flip when they find out about Gimli and Legolas's friendship," Merry added, knowing about the rivalry between Elves and Dwarves, having witnessed it at Rivendell at the council and between Legolas and Gimli at the start of their journey.
"There is that, isn't there?" Vez thought out loud appearing unconcerned, though secretly wishing this friendship would cause more of a stir than her own relationship with the Mirkwood heir. She did not want to openly show any discomfort of the approaching changes in the villa's population, but meeting other Elves, and all presumably High Elves considering their position as delegates, as well as Legolas's father, King Thranduil, unnerved her.
"Well, I just hope they don't eat all the scones," Pippin said grabbing another one quickly as if they would disappear if he didn't...
"Lady Vez," a house maid called, stirring Vez from her thoughts as she gazed out on the surrounding vista the terrace provided. "Lord Legolas has requested that you meet him in the East Wing, if you would kindly follow me."
Vezely followed closely behind the house maid as she led her through villa's corridors, not having expecting the invitation. The East Wing's spacious courtyard and hallways were decorated similarly to where she was staying, but the distance between the doors to each private room were set further apart, so she assumed each room was more spacious. The house maid led her to an open door, and she stepped into it suspecting to find Legolas inside, though she found an empty room, modestly adorned but with a prime focal point - a spacious open balcony.
"What do you think?" Legolas asked coming quietly in the door behind her, causing her to quickly turn around.
"Think of what?" she asked, smiling from just the sight of him, while also trying to hide the fact that she was caught unaware by his quiet entrance. Legolas amusingly acknowledged his ability to still sneak up on her.
"This will be my father's room," he said taking her by the hand and leading her to the open balcony upon which a perfect view in front of the city was laid out before them; a view not provided over on their wing. One could look out towards the mountains of Mordor, but no longer did fire and smoke occlude the blue skies above it; instead, it appeared as if Sauron never had his lair there. She then noticed a small table had been set with wine and two glasses upon it. "I figured we could enjoy this view before it is occupied."
She smiled widely, surprised by his slyness, being told his whole afternoon would be mired in meetings. "I like the sound of that," she replied, not removing her hand from his as she moved closer to the balcony's stone railing. She could see what was once a battlefield below, noting that the pyres her and Remi lit that morning were extinguished, the cedar ashes scattered by the winds across the mass grave they walked upon. She turned to him and took his other hand in hers, her eyes accidentally diving into his blue orbs, finding the feelings his returned gaze evoked surreal.
Being touched by her bandaged hand, reminded him of the wound she self-inflicted that morning, an act that still made him uncomfortable. He lifted it and turned her palm upward, peeking under the linen to inspect the wound.
"You do not need to tend to me," she said with a half smile.
"If I do not, who will?" he replied, noting she had not bothered to change his impromptu bandage from that morning.
She didn't reply immediately, not being one to accept the kindness of others easily. The Blue Wizards tended to her and she still did not know how to show appreciation. "I know well enough not to cut too deep," she finally added, politely removing her hand from his, "It will heal in a few days."
"You have done this often?" he asked, looking at her curiously.
"I have been in enough battles whose ends required it," she replied steadily, looking back to the view below, her eyes being drawn to the mass grave once more. "It is for the living," she stated in explanation to what she realized must have been a bizarre ritual to his eyes, "To reassure them of their charge as warriors, to not mourn the dead, but to respect them, to respect that they died with honor, with a sword in their hand as a warrior should," she then scoffed and narrowed her eyes, getting slightly angered believing such words herself, "But what honor is there in dying for Sauron? This whole war has been fought on a false promise. One I was once blinded by."
He placed a hand lightly on her shoulder, causing her to turn her head to him, "What choice did Rhun have?"
"None," the word finding her tongue quickly, knowing too well, "My sword has tasted the blood of many who believed otherwise." She turned around and leaned against the railing, and smiled slightly ashamed, "Apologies, I doubt you sought my company for more dark conversations of my past."
"On the contrary," Legolas said consolingly, noting that it comforted him to hear her admit to being wrong, for recently he heard her provide too many rationalizations to her past actions. "I desire nothing but you to speak to me from the heart."
She placed her hand on top of the one he yet had resting on her shoulder, "You are perhaps the only one who I would do so with," she then looked from the corner of her eye to the field below, as if it was a magnet to her thoughts, "But it surprised you, this ritual?"
"Perhaps," he said, slowly removing his hand from her shoulder and going over to the table to pour some wine, "But then again, it is always unexpected with you."
"A truism since we met," she replied holding her head a little higher to disallow her from sighing in despair, "But everyday we are closer to understanding each other, are we not?" Her voice wavered slightly.
Legolas handed her a filled glass, "We are," he confirmed, though uncertain himself with the questions he continued to mill through.
"To progress then," Vez stated with a brief smile, raising her wine glass to his in order to encourage a toast.
But before he mirrored her actions he added, "To love, that needs not be understood."
There was a pause before she brought the glass to her lips, as she thought as he did that perhaps for them, not understanding was truly the only solution to their differences. Once there, she immediately recognized the scent of the wine. The pungent fragrance brought back memories that forbid her to drink it at first, but she forced herself to tip the glass and allow some of the red liquid to enter her mouth; the sickly sweet taste all too familiar. "Dorwinion," she stated after swallowing, trying to appear unaffected by the thoughts the wine sent coursing through her, though she was sure her reaction elicited attention.
Legolas had taken a sip and recognized her hesitation, "It is my father's preference. I made sure several shipments were reserved for when he is in residence here. It is not of your liking?"
"On the contrary, I used to like it way too much." She took another sip, disallowing this part of her past to intrude her progress moving forward. "The Blue Wizards also hold preference for Dorwinion wine. It is of well-repute in Rhun."
"As it is in Mirkwood, or Eryn Lasgalen (Wood of Greenleaves) as it is now named," he corrected himself, a smile showing he was reflecting on the positive transition and re-growth his home forest would soon go through.
Vez put the glass down on the table, "Eryn Lasgalen," she repeated, tracing the glass's rim with her finger, not having heard the realms new name yet, "Perhaps I will see it when its leaves are truly green again," her words trailed slightly while starring at the red liquid inside.
"This wine has stirred memories?" Legolas queried softly.
She looked over at him, realizing she had drifted slightly away from the conversation. She breathed in the crisp air deeply, "It has, but more so a reflection on how far I have come. I have not talked much about my time in captivity or immediately after when Dorwinion wine was the only comfort I sought." Uncomfortable memories from this time had re-surfaced since being held prisoner for suspicion of murdering that man in the Dim Quarters. "I drank to forget that which the Blue Wizards forced back into my mind, to erase acknowledgement of what happened that put in that cell, of my defeat, the loss of my army, of my worthlessness," she then smiled slightly amused, "I remember thinking it was only a matter of time before they handed me over to the West, perhaps even to your father who'd have my head if he were kind."
"You believed you were saved from the dungeons of Dol Guldor only to be executed?" he asked confused.
"Saved by my enemies who would suddenly show me mercy?" She smirked, "Mercy was not an act I understood." He placed his glass down next to hers and moved beside her, her eyes getting caught in his as he did, "Would he?" she asked curiously, trying to address a new topic of interest, "Would your father have had my head?"
He looked at her as if he didn't understand the question, "Of course not," he stammered out, "He is not that kind of king."
"Then what kind of king is he?" she asked, desiring to know more about his father and about Elven rulers before his arrival.
"One that is fair, wise, and beloved by his people," Legolas listed his father's noble attributes; he was a good leader, a just king, as his grandfather Oropher, before him. "And he makes the right choices, even if they are difficult ones. He did once save your life, and release you despite your deeds," he reminded her of the incident in Mirkwood over 500 years ago.
"If not for Elrond's prescient request," Vez corrected him, knowing her kin held part in Thranduil showing her mercy.
"He would not have let an Elf perish on the ground in front of us," Legolas stated, noting her eyes showed skepticism after he did; and perhaps he didn't believe what he said either. Had he not also desired her death, as retribution for the deaths of his fellow guards whose blood stained the sword that lay beside her?
"It was the most irrational decision I made, attacking your Woodland Guard," she said raising an eyebrow, catching Legolas off-guard with the assertion. "You may not agree with my methods as a general, but they always involved putting the lives of my men first. That day in Mirkwood I did not do that. Anger lingered from my defeat at the Battle of the Wold and I overestimated the resolve of my troops against yours. A decision which led to their deaths, and then I was saved by the very people I ordered them to attack. It was a humbling moment for me, and I left Mirkwood vowing to never put my emotions before reason."
"Reason?" He repeated, unsure of her understanding of it; he started to ask, "Your reason rationalizes..."
"Deeds which would be questionable to Elvish ethics," she concluded what he was beginning to say, "I know. To kill one or a handful of men in cold blood order to save the lives of hundreds or possibily thousands, I would do so without hesitation."
"And you would still continue to boast about it," Legolas said concerned; desiring for her to explain her banter with Remi earlier that morning.
"You speak of what you heard this morning? Perhaps of the divinator I poisoned?" She felt as if she could read his mind, knowing remnants of that morning's conversation would linger to later become moments of contention. "It was not only out of contempt that I killed that man. It was winter, snow was beginning to fall and I knew if we did not leave our current location soon, we would not make it through the mountain pass of Kazakyun and my men would freeze to death. For two weeks the man's predictions convinced Öldür and half my army who placed weight in such omens that we should not march. But I would not wait any longer or take more unfounded advice from a man who I suspected had ulterior motives," she then added unconcerned, "And being resourceful, I tried out that poison on him."
Legolas shook his head, for he could sense she held little remorse for this act; that she could too easily excuse her actions via a skewed rationale. "Reasonable to you, but to an Elf it does not appear so. There are always other options besides killing without true provocation." She looked at him, her eyes in contemplation, uncertain if she believed this. He added carefully, "I confess, part of me desired your death upon seeing you, fallen from your horse with my kinsmens' blood staining your clothes and the blade of the sword you tried to grasp onto. You and your men killed ten Woodland guard, each one well-known to me. And then to discover that an Elf did this," he paused looking away, saying with regret, "There has not been Elves killing Elves since the First Age...The kinslayings are a black stain on our history, but by knowing about them we are reminded that one should not take life unnecessarily, especially not for trivial desires like gold or revenge. Even without Lord Elrond's plea for your protection, I do not believe my father would have let a Elf die in front of us. Only evil deserves to be extinguished, and that divinator you poisoned, perhaps he had ulterior motives, but I doubt he was truly evil, and you, you were not evil, only misguided."
"You would not say the same about Orcs," she smirked slightly, trying to appear unmoved, though feeling ashamed for not perfectly subscribing to similar ethics.
"Orcs are not the same. They are soulless creatures whose only intent is to destroy for the whims of their master," Legolas verified, for his kill count of Orcs far surpassed hers.
"And I destroyed for the same master's whims," she responded undeterred in making this connection, "I was evil, deserving of extinguishment. Perhaps not when I laid on the ground dying in Mirkwood. Then I was as you said before, only a child to Elvish eyes, and my crimes were yet meager. But your father was still kind to uphold his code for me."
Evil, yes, she would become truly evil, Legolas thought, and evil enough to warrant her death.
She continued, now worried her frankness made her appear to lack remorse when this was not the case. "I may rationalize some of my past deeds, because I believe many of the decisions I made as a general, however reprehensible to your eyes, were for the good of my men," she then admitted solemnly, "And of course, to the detriment of my enemies. Regardless, do not think I misunderstand why I cannot travel with you to the Undying Lands. I know what I did damaged my soul. And I would not boast of that fact."
He closed his eyes briefly, now feeling ashamed that he continued to misunderstand her. He placed his hand on the side of her cheek consolingly, "You are still young. The damage can be undone."
"That is my charge. Please trust me in this," she replied softly, pressing her cheek into his hand, needing his touch. He instinctively brought her towards him and rested his head aside hers.
"I do, Vezely," he said quietly, kissing her temple while holding her head, "I am sorry that my fears continue to cause doubt."
"And my words encourage it," she nuzzled against him, her eyes closed, breathing in his scent, "Perhaps I still hold ethics that make me a bad Elf."
"You have a higher purpose now, and you will make the right choices while fulfilling it," he said in her ear softly, afterwards she turned her head to rest on his shoulder as he embraced her. He knew she continued to have difficulties reconciling her two sides - an Easterling by culture, an Elf by blood; making him further realize her concern over the upcoming arrival of their kin, despite her effort to conceal it. "And do not worry about my father," he added a moment later.
"How can I not be worried?" she asked, pulling away to look upon him, "I have committed the most heinous crime of all. I have stolen his son's heart," words which cause a smile to crack through his serious demeanor.
"You have not stolen anything that I was not already willing to give," he said endearingly, taking her hand which rested on his shoulder and kissing the back of it, as if to apologize for not having a direct answer; that he could not provide her true reassurance. "While I honestly do not know how he will react," he said truthfully looking into her eyes, "I am his only son, his only kin in Middle Earth, and he has always cared about my happiness above all. He once gave me leave to not marry even though he knew marriage was a means to happiness. He allowed me to serve on the Woodland Guard instead of by his side in court, despite it being dangerous. He understood it gave me purpose and made me feel whole. I am sure he will remain reasonable, despite any feelings or disagreements he may have."
"Happiness," Vez stated back the word she knew was not the perfect description of their relationship. "I wish it could be a constant for us. That I did not have to return to Rhun, but could sail away with you to the Undying Lands, that we could truly be happy together."
"It will come to pass," Legolas said assuredly, "And everything will be as it should." He brought his hands on the side of her arms, "Let's go to Ithilien tomorrow, to the forest glen where we spent the afternoon lying in the sun together."
A smile lit her face, "I would like nothing more." The request sent butterflies to her stomach in anticipation - she longed to return to that place with him; one of the few places in Middle Earth that she would describe as perfect.
A/N: Thranduil will make a fabulous appearance in the next chapter!