Here's chapter 12. The longest yet. Funny, I had first planned it to be a small plotless chapter. But I guess I was inspired, so...
I'm not truly happy with it, but at least I'm not too unhappy with it. I don't like a few parts of it, but I guess the most important thing is that you, the readers, like it. And I hope you will.
I don't know why, but I couldn't help putting some philosophy into this chapter. Personally, I'm against violence, war and all that stupid propaganda trying to convince you that whatever you do - or more accurately whatever your leaders do on your behalf - is the good thing to do. I both hate and pity people who don't have the guts or simply don't want to see further than their own nose and realize how the world truly works and how everything isn't black and white, like in those american movies we've been fed up with since our childhood where the hero always win and is always right. And I hate even more people who realize that the whole world revolve around injustice and exploitation and don't give a damn about it because it benefits them. Of course, life is unfair and will always be, we need to accept this. But I like to think that's not a reason to close our eyes on it and take advantage of it.
Of course, you probably understood that I'm not too much of a fan of all those "we're killing those clueless dudes to protect our dear village", unrealistic happy endings and crappy motivations the whole Naruto series is so full of. When I started reading Naruto, I wasn't like I am right now, I wasn't so... I don't know if the right word would be utopian or realist. Then I changed - I grew up I guess, and I left behind many people who hadn't. And I left behind Naruto too, along with a lot of similar shounen manga where fighting and killing each others is always done for the "good reasons" and all that crap. But I couldn't leave behind those characters I had learned to love. Therefore here I am, writing a (very long) fanfiction about a manga I don't even like anymore simply because I like the fantasy world I have created for its characters in that twisted head of mine. And you're reading the result of it.
You can pretend you had not read this if you want. I wouldn't mind.
Enjoy the new chapter and leave me reviews and comments, I absolutely love to hear your opinion and you know it! :D
Chapter 12
Asuma's Marriage Issues
Iruka had thought that by now, people would have forgotten about him. That those aunts and brothers and grandmothers would have grown tired of playing cat and mouse with him and given up on trying to set him up with their friends or family members. He had thought – hoped- that after weeks of being avoided and having their offers continually turned down, they would have gotten the clue and left him alone. But nooooooo! They wouldn't leave him alone; it seemed to the brown-haired man that things were only getting worse as of late, as more people than ever were calling out his name and trying to lure him into secluded areas as he walked down the streets of Konoha on his way to the mission room. Before, the chuunin had avoided using main roads when walking through the village but in the past few days, he had started avoiding getting out of his house, period. It had reached that point.
When he thought about it, it was really ridiculous. Going as far as to avoid leaving his house because of that stupid date affair... Made him almost feel ashamed of his own lack of guts. But to his defense, it had really become creepy of late to walk through Konoha for him. His suitors and their acquaintances were getting more and more persistent and in the past few day, they had started using all kinds of twisted means to get a date out of him, random people offering him to help him carrying his grocery home, salemen and women offering him special discounts for no reason, women having all kind of fake accidents in front of him to draw his attention on them... There was even that fat-breasted red-haired jounin who had sneaked up behind him and started rubbing her body agaisnt his like a cat in heat in the middle of a crowded street, two blocks away from the Academy, in full daylight. He had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life! If Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei hadn't happened to pass by, he didn't know how he would have managed to get rid of her. Just thinking about it made Iruka shudder with disgust, feeling dirty all over again where she had touched him. He truly hoped he wouldn't run into that one again... That reminded him, he really needed to send Asuma and Kurenai a card or something to show his gratitude...
Iruka had stopped accepting dates for a whole week now and he had hoped that people would get the hint by now and leave him alone, but it seemed that it only increased their determination and tenacity. What would it take to convince them to leave him alone? A marriage? He couldn't believe he was even considering it... Somehow, Iruka had the distinct impression that there was an open competition going on about who would snatch up the nice, reliable marriageable chuunin before the others. The judges of the competition being the whole village of Konoha, if the way people kept on muttering on his way was any indication. At least, he tried to convince himself, nobody had started stalking him or menacing him yet, so things weren't so bad, right? He just had to... give them a few weeks and when the whole village would have forgotten about his existence again, he'd probably laugh of it all. Or at least he hoped so...
To some point, the chuunin was almost glad of being forced to take care of Hatake Kakashi because it allowed him to shut himself up in his house and ignore the rest of the world -and that whole freaking date affair - for a while. But unfortunately, he could not barricade himself in his apartment and never step a foot out of it again; he still had to buy food, after all. Plus, he had to deliver a C-class mission report to the mission room twice a week to report the "progress" of Kakashi's healing. Which was quite pointless since he was no healer or chakra channel specialist and, given the state of motionlessness the jounin was forced into by his medication, he had absolutely no clue how the man's treatment was progressing and found himself always writting the same useless bit of information on every damn report. As far as he was concerned, those reports were plain stupid and purposeless. A complete waste of time and paper that forced him to walk to the mission room twice a week and get hunted down by a crowd of wannabe marriagemakers and single women. Damn bureaucratic idioties... Iruka suspected the Hokage to be behind it. She probably had had his best interest at heart, thinking that it wouldn't do him any good to stay confined with the Copy nin all day long. Well she had thought wrong; at least, Kakashi didn't keep on harassing him to get a freaking date...!
To his displeasure, Iruka discovered as he was heading once again to the mission room on the 27th of December that people seemed to have found a new way to harass him. Now, people didn't just ask him out, they also invited him to their New Year Eve party. Which was, as the chuunin soon discovered, far worse to deal with than he could have imagined.
New Year Eves in Konoha were different than in the rest of the Fire Country. In Konoha, the New Year Eve was an occasion for friends, family members and commorades to celebrate in large, massive groups, just like everywhere else. But since the village was small and that everybody knew almost everybody because of work or marriage alliances, a solid competition had developped itself about the New Year Eve parties over the years. Every year, there was a competition going on between the different party-organizers concerning who would come to which party, since people usually received at least two or three invitations and had to choose where and with who they wanted to spend the last night of the year. Sometimes, it even caused small comotions, like six or seven years ago when Hayate had decided not to go to Kurenai's party like he usually did but instead to the Nimisha's one. Iruka had heard the Hokage himself had had to interfere at some point before it got too nasty... No, you didn't joke with New Year Eve in Konoha.
In the past few years, Iruka had received invitations but had never gone to any of those parties, feeling somewhat out of place celebrating with people he barely knew. He had never been one for such loud parties anyway. And people had long stopped expecting him to come. But now that he was the most wanted marriageable man of all Konoha, things were completely different. As he unpleasantly discovered when he headed for the mission room on the 27th, it seemed that every party-organizer in town wanted to invite him to their party. Was it because they wanted to use that occasion to introduce him to some of their single friends or because they thought that his presence would attract a lot of women hoping to seduce him, he didn't know and honestly, he didn't want to think too much about it. The idea of being used as an attraction disgusted him... In fact, the mere idea of being caught in a room full of intoxicated single women AND of random people trying to get him drunk made him want to barricade himself in his house and not get out of it before March. He shuddered again at the thought.
And unfortunately for the academy teacher, it seemed as well that those party-organizers wouldn't take no for an answer. They seemed to think they needed to convince him that their party was the best one in town and, to the brown-haired chuunin's annoyance, they were determined not to let him get away before they had persuaded him. And he couldn't excuse himself that he already had plans; everybody seemed to know he was alone for the New Year Eve...! Yet the chuunin had decided that he wouldn't get dragged into this and had managed to turn down every invitation so far, but not without great difficulty - and that was an understatement.
It was with a huge sigh of relief that the brown-haired man entered the mission room, glad to be at last arrived at his destination. He had received seven invitations for New Year Eve parties on his way there and it had not been easy to get rid of the party-organizers - it took him a solid 20 minutes to decline a total stranger named Yanajuma's invitation and another 10 minutes to loose him through the streets of Konoha since the guy just wouldn't let go. To Iruka's relief, the mission room was empty except for the two usual chuunin doing their mission desk duties and two bored nins - including Genma, of course. But most importantly, there seemed to be no party-organizer in sight.
Seeing his relieved expression, a few nins laughed softly.
"Not easy to be the most popular man in town, heh?" Genma teased him with an amused smirk on his lips.
"Shut up Genma," Iruka muttered darkly as he gave his mission report to the chuunin in duty and a few more people laughed.
"Come on Iruka-san, I'm sure it's not that bad," the deskman told him and Iruka gave him a sinister look that clearly indicated he could take his place anytime if he wanted.
"Hey, don't give us that look!" Genma said playfully, "You're not exactly to be pitied, you know. Getting chased around by a crowd of hot, single women... I could do with such a marthyrdom."
"What's happening?" Asuma asked as he entered the mission room, his hands nonchalantly put away in his pockets.
"Our little Iruka-kun's having trouble satisfying all those hot babes pursuing him," Genma answered before Iruka could say anything and the chuunin blushed at the crude understatement the senbon-user had just made before glaring at him.
"Yeah, I noticed," Asuma smiled as he joined them. "I hope that red-haired lunatic hadn't given you more problems?" Iruka's blush deepened and he shook his head, feeling suddenly a bit sheepish.
"No, I haven't, errr, run into her ever since - thank you again for your help, I truly appreciate it."
The bearded man waved his large hand in dismissal. "It was nothing, really. 'Couldn't leave you there getting groped in the middle of the street by that horny looney, couldn't I?"
"Groped, you say?" Genma asked incredulously, his eyebrows raised high. "In the middle of the street?"
"Yeah, by that red-haired weirdo, I think she works in the 5th division-"
"That'll do, thank you," Iruka warned them sternly, feeling abnormally touchy about being reminded of that unfortunate event and both men shut up at once. It was one thing Iruka really appreciated about his job - after teaching pre-genins for eight years, he could call even the fierciest man back to order with a simple glare. And it never stopped to amaze some, especially jounins who left the mission room with bemused expressions, wondering how some low-ranked and seemingly harmless chuunin had managed to make them accept a C-ranked mission with a simple glance.
"But honestly," Asuma spoke up as he gave in his own mission report, "why don't you just go out with one of them? That would solve the problem and they'd leave you alone."
Iruka grimaced and rubbed his neck with his hand, a mix of reluctance and embarrassment visible on his tanned face. The fact that he himself didn't even know the answer to that question seemed to make things even more difficult. "I don't know... I guess I'm just not interested," he answered weakly, inwardly cursing himself for coming up with such a miserable excuse. Why was he even bothering trying to answer it every time someone asked? Why couldn't he just tell them to get lost? At least, he wouldn't look like an indecisive jerk every time...!
"That's what I don't understand. How can you be not interested? There are dozens of hot babes at your feet and you're telling me you're not interested?" Genma ranted unbelievingly, as if the chuunin had won 10 million dollars and refused his prize.
"Genma, that's because Iruka-sensei is a gentleman, not a horny, insensitive male chauvinist like you," the brown-haired mission desk kunoichi explained flatly and a few people snorted with laughter.
"Now, now, I'm not an insensitive man. You should get to know me better…," the bandana-wearer eyed her suggestively and the woman rolled her eyes with exasperation.
"Well, I admit that if it'd be me, I'd probably be a bit put off," Asuma said thoughtfully, ignoring Genma's disappointed pouting. "All those women wanting to hitch you... Not really a turn on."
"I still think it's not normal he doesn't want to date all those hot chicks. No normal man could resist to that many beautiful women," the senbon user said nonchalantly. Then, he smiled and snorted with amusement. "He's got to be gay to be so damn perfect, that figures."
Iruka blinked. Once. Twice. Then, the words he had just heard sunk in and he felt an indescribable feeling swell inside of him, overwheming him. He couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. It wasn't anger. It wasn't disgust either... It was something else.
... Something giving him the irresistible desire to punch Genma and that stupid, mocking face of his. And the next thing Iruka knew, his fist collided hard with the jounin's left cheek and Genma was staggering backward gracelessly and unprofessionally to avoid falling hard on his ass. Iruka watched the stunned jounin as he regained his balance and if he hadn't been as angry, he would have found hilarious the man's flabbergasted expression. Obviously, some found it amusing as well because his fist had hardly landed on Genma's face that Asuma was bursting out laughing, his deafening laugh filling the room. The other nins joined him almost at once, laughing at the stunned jounin's priceless expression.
"Fuck, what was that for?" the senbon-user asked while massaging his bruised cheek, bewilderment written on his features. "Fuck! It freakin' hurts!" Asuma and the others only laughed louder at that comment, soon grasping for air.
"T-the c-chuunin taught y-you a lesson, d-didn't he?" the bearded man managed to say between two howls of laugher, "Put youu - back to your p-place, didn't heeee-?"
"C'mon Genma - don't make that face - you soooooooooooo had it comin'!"
Ignoring the whining jounin and his comrades' teasings, Iruka turned on his heels and walked to the exit, angry but strangely happy with himself to have shut up the loudmouth jounin. He was about to open the door and take his leave when his eyes fell on her. Just outside of the mission room, a few meters away from the door was standing Mitarashi Anko. Mitarashi Anko, one of the strangest, most disturbing and stubborn jounin of the whole village. Mitarashi Anko, well-known to be the the biggest party-organizer of all Konoha. Eyeing the road as if she was looking for something. Or someone.
Oh. Shit.
Iruka swore under his breath as he saw the jounin's head turn in his direction, ducking at once out of sight. "Hide me!" he barked to the rest of the room and people stoped laughing, staring at him with puzzlement. As quickly as he could, the brown-haired man made hand seals and he had barely finished a basic concealing jutsu that Anko was storming into the mission room, banging the door loudly behind her. Iruka hold his breath as he saw her eye the room sharply.
From up close, the purple-haired jounin looked like she had been rolled over by a bus: her hair was dirty, her skin was pale and she had shadows under her eyes the size of small plates. Obviously, she was still nursing a solid hangover from her last Christmas party. With narrowed, blood-shot eye, she gave the mission room a deep stare.
"Anybody's seen Umino Iruka?" she croaked to the quiet mission room and a few people looked up at her with mild curiosity, faking innocence.
"Umino Iruka?" Genma asked nonchalantly and Iruka felt his heart stop inside his chest; the jounin wouldn't betray him, wouldn't he? Even if he's just hit him, he wouldn't... Genma wasn't like that... right?
"Yeah, you know, that brown-haired chuunin everybody's fussed about. Ponytail," the woman grunted with impatience.
"Oh, him," the senbon user answered casually, "Nah, haven't seen him lately."
At those words, Iruka let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.
The jounin grunted with annoyance. Then, she raised an eyebrow at him, looking curious. "What the hell happened to your face, Genma?"
"There was that kinky babe... 'packed quite a punch," the jounin explained lazily and Asuma couldn't help but snigger.
Anko snorted and turned on her heels, storming out of the mission room as quickly and loudly as she had come. From the corner of his eyes, Iruka saw her walking away, eyeing the road ahead of her, probably looking for a brown ponytail. When she was out of sight, the chuunin sighed with relief and dropped his jutsu, mumbling words of gratitude to the other occupants of the room for their discretion.
"What was that?" Asuma asked straightforwardly, looking mildly puzzled as he took out of his pocket a cigarette.
"Yeah, what does Anko-san want with you?" a desk nin Iruka often worked with asked, frowning. Then, his features turned into a slightly disgusted expression. "Surely enough, she doesn't want to date you as well?" At those words, a few people grimaced; Mitarashi Anko was an extremely respected jounin, but her disturbing tastes and forceful ways were vastly known among Konoha's ninja community and the mere thought of going out with her was disturbing enough to give a few of them nightmares, at the very least.
Genma had a surprising reaction; at the chuunin's words, he choked on his saliva and burst out laughing. "Anko d-dating Iruka? Are you nuts?" Genma exclaimed loudly. "Come on, isn't it obvious? Our little Iruka-kun is the main attraction in town! I bet she wanted to invite him to her New Year Eve party~!"
Suddenly understanding Anko and the chuunin's previous behaviour, the mission room occupants's expression switched from disgust and confusion to mild interest. Iruka rubbed the bridge of his nose a bit akwardly, feeling like a 10 year-old who had been caught trying to steal cookies from the cookie jar for some unexplainable reason.
"It's probably open competiton to know who'll have him over for the New Year Eve!" a jounin chuckled with amusement.
"Yeah, a party with Iruka-sensei is sure to be a success. To have to most popular single man in town at your party... Imagine the prestige! He's sure to attract a lot of people."
"A lot of women, you mean!"
"A lot of hot, single women," Genma corrected playfully. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm definitely going to the party where Iruka'll be!" A few men sniggered at those words.
"Yeah, where will you spend the New Year Eve Iruka-sensei?"
"Hum..." the chuunin hesitated, starting to feel a bit awkward with the whole discussion. "Well, I think I'd rather stay home-" the academy teacher was booed at by a couple of playful nins, Genma at their head.
"You mean you won't come at all?"
"Come on Iruka-kun, it's gonna be fun!"
"I'd rather skip, thank you very much," Iruka answered a bit more firmly, eyeing the exit.
"Com'on Iruka, you don't intend to disappoint all those single women, don't you?" Genma teased him with a smirk. "The New Year Eve party is the perfect occasion for all those desperate women; they probably hope to get you drunk, make you believe you had an affair - or truly have an affair with you - pretend to be pregnant afterward and force you to take responsability and marry them. Now just how would they do that if you're not there?"
Iruka smiled a bit stiffly; he had to admit that although he had been joking, Genma was probably right about that. Which was actually quite scary when he thought about it... And he preferred not thinking too much about it, honestly. His life had become disturbing enough of late, thank you very much.
"From that point of view, I kinda understand you'd prefer to stay home," Asuma smiled sadly, "'Kinda scary..."
"Tell me, how come everytime we're talking about marriage you always end up finding things scary?" Genma asked the bearded man with that Chesmire cat smile of his and for a traitorous second, the cigarette-addict looked surprised. The next moment he was looking away, scowling, but it was too late - Genma had seen it and his grin widened.
"Hey, any cute, fine woman can get scarier than a drunk turned-on Anko when she starts thinking 'bout marriage and all that crap," the jounin grunted. "It's gotta affect their brain or something. Not that they aren't scary enough under normal circumstances..." Asuma trailed on and Genma's laugh filled the room. The senbon user tried to get closer to the jounin to pass his arm around his shoulder in a mock comforting way but Asuma pushed him away darkly, frowning to himself. Taking advantage of the group's newfound interest in Asuma's love life, Iruka subtly headed for the door, hoping nobody would notice him trying to sneak away: he'd rather skip the whole "convincing Iruka to go out on NYE" discussion if he could. But to his disappointment, Asuma called him back before he could even reach the door.
"Say, Iruka-sensei..."
"Yes?" he answered cautiously, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"Maybe you should, you know... take a detour on your way home." Iruka stared at Asuma, puzzled, and the jounin looked away gruffly, "Because, you know... there might be, hum, someone waiting for you near the flowershop to invite you for her New Year Eve party..."
"Oh," Iruka breathed softly, catching on. "Yes, that would be a good idea, thank you," he said back to the jounin. Indeed, he could do without Kurenai-sensei harrassing him as well about her New Year Eve party. Especially since he owned her one from the time she had rescued him from that crazy jounin in heat… He didn't see how he could possibly turn her down after that.
Without further ado, Iruka nodded goodbye to the few occupants of the room, turned on his heels and headed for the door before anyone could call him back again. He hoped he wouldn't run into too many party-organizers on his way home. At least, not into Anko or Kurenai …!
"I bet she asked you to convince him to come, didn't she?" Iruka distantly heard Genma tease the other man as he was opening the door to leave.
"Hn."
"You're a very bad future husband, you know that Asuma?"
"Shut up. You'd better never tell her about this," the jounin threatened the rest of the room quietly. "And I'll let you know that we're NOT engaged."
Iruka didn't know why, but he couldn't help but snickers as he walked away.
Deciding that he wouldn't let those damn party-organizers harrass him any more than they already had, the academy teacher quickly walked to the small streets of the residential area, which was located on the opposite way to his appartment. He planned on using those streets to go to the north district, where he would use the 18th avenue, a small and usually deserted street, to gain the West area and then go home. Luckily, that ridiculously long detour would only cost him over 40 minutes of walk, but then again, he was willing to loose 40 minutes of his life if it allowed him to avoid Kurenai and Anko. The two women wouldn't expect him to use those roads to go back home… Or at least he hoped so.
His chain of thoughts was broken when he ran into four giggling young women who recognized him and skilfully cornered him. Twenty minutes, a lot of coy looks, a few lies and far too many apologies later, Iruka finally managed to walk away from the insistent women, feeling completely drained out by the exchange. On the bright side, he had managed to refuse all their date proposals and remain collected and polite, which was quite an achievement by itself. But he was starting to feel the strain already and didn't know how he managed to not snap at them. Ibiki should consider hiring flirtatious, giggly women; they were a valid form of torture, he was sure of it.
To the chuunin's consternation, the sky and the streets were starting to darken. It couldn't be five o'clock already? He had left Kakashi home alone for far too long; what if the man needed his help? Feeling suddenly guilty and mildly worried, the chuunin walked faster, hoping that everything was alright.
The rest of his journey home went rather well - even if for a moment he had feared for his life when he had distantly heard Anko's distant voice cursing loudly, the woman too close for comfort. It was with a huge sight of relief that he reached his apartment at last, changing back into himself only after he had carefully locked and put several traps on his front door. He wanted nothing more than to let himself fall to the ground and stay there until his heart stopped to pound so hard in his chest, but he had more important things to do right then. Lighting up the now pitch-dark apartment, Iruka quickly went to the guest room.
"Kakashi?" he asked anxiously. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," came the slightly sleepy reply and Iruka let out a sight of relief, turning on the guestroom light to get a better view of the jounin and he saw him blink at the sudden brightness.
"Are you sure? Don't you need anything?"
"No, I'm fine," the Copy nin answered quietly, staring at the chuunin with his uncovered eye.
"Okay..." Iruka trailed on, rubbing his neck tiredly. Then, checking the time on his watch, the chuunin sighed again. "Okay. I'll start the dinner right away."
"Actually, I'm not that hungry," Kakashi cut him softly. "The dinner could wait a bit. Take a short break; you look tired."
Iruka blinked at him, surprised. "Oh," he muttered softly, feeling suddenly very stupid for some reason. Was he that obvious? Looking away, the chuunin scratched the bridge of his nose awkwardly.
"Yeah... I suppose so," the chuunin answered vaguely, feeling a bit at a loss for what to say, barely aware he had agreed with the jounin.
There was a strange silence between the two men, and then Iruka turned around to leave.
"Hum, do you want me to turn off the light?" he asked a bit hesitantly, feeling mildly ashamed to be thrown like that so easily by the man.
"Yeah, please do."
Iruka turned out the light and walked to the empty kitchen where he collapsed on the nearest chair, allowing himself a short break before he started to cook their Hokage-approved dinner. What a day... He felt like he just came back from a one week field mission. To think he had to go through all that shit because he needed to hand that supid mission report in. He guessed that normally, that thought would make him want to give the Godaime a piece of his mind about those pointless reports, but he was far too tired to feel even a bit of aggressiveness stiring inside of him at the thought. He couldn't quite believe that the few hours he had spent out of his house could have possibly left his so exhausted: he was used to deal with twenty-five excited pre-genins five days a week dammit, a few invitations and close-called puisuit through the village couldn't be that bad. He was tougher than that.
Recalling the events of the day in his silent kitchen, Iruka couldn't help but feel strangely empty and a bit confused when he remembered about what had happened inside the mission room.
He couldn't quite believe he had hit Genma.
The mere thought of it made him feel mildly guilty. Why had hit Genma...? Sure, he had a bad temper when he was angry, but he wasn't one to hit people like that. That wasn't him. When he was angry, he shouted at people, he glared... he didn't get physical. But then again, he hadn't been exactly angry at the man. Somehow he couldn't quite recall how he had felt when the man had insinuated that he was homosexual. What could have happened in his head back then...?
Why on earth did he hit him anyway? Genma liked a laugh, for God's sake. Everyone knew that. It was common knowledge. People usually didn't even take him seriously. Knowing him, he probably hadn't meant it in a mean way. He was just teasing him. And what he had told him hadn't been that mean either... Yet, he had hit him. And in the middle of the mission room too. God, he'd be lucky if he wasn't reprimanded for his lack of control in a public area.
What would people think of him? What would his students' parents think if they heard that he had knocked a jounin in the mission room because the man had made a joke about his sexual preferences? He was supposed to set an example... not to act like a ten year old to some higher-ranked officer's teasings. Besides, that was exactly the kind of reaction that would get people suspicious of his real sexual orientation.
Sighing, Iruka tried to see things under a brighter light: hopefully, people wouldn't focus too much on his immaturity and would focus on how a low-ranked chuunin had managed to land a hit so easily on Shiranui Genma. Not that it was really reassuring, but still. It was true that back then, people had been surprised he had managed to catch the jounin off guard so easily. They had found it funny, laughing of Genma's bemused face - or maybe his lack of skills, since he hadn't been able to dodge a chuunin's attack, which was in fact quite insulting. It wasn't because he had never passed his jounin exam that it meant he was a weakling who couldn't defend himself... He liked to think he wasn't appointed as a teacher for nothing.
In fact, the only thing truly positive about the whole fiasco was Genma's reaction; the man had seemed surprised by his attack, but hadn't seemed to hold a grudge against him for it. After Anko had left, the honey-haired man had talked to him as if nothing had happened, teasing him once again even though he had just been hit for it mere minutes ago. Now that he thought about it, the chuunin had never seen or heard of Genma holding a grudge against anybody; the man was always smooth and unconcerned about everything. Iruka guessed that he was used to get turned down violently by women he shamefully flirted with on daily basis. But still, there was a difference between getting slapped around the face by a furious woman one had been pursuing for three blocks or whispering obscene remarks to and having a man's fist slamed into one's face because of some inappropriate comment.
Mind you, if the jounin truly thought that he was gay, the difference probably seemed quite thin to him.
That thought made him feel uneasy for some reason. Did Genma really think that he was homosexual? Just because he had turned down all those women? Because he had not felt truly attracted by any of them? But just like Asuma-sensei had said, the whole dating affair was enough of a turn off to explain his lack of interest... right? That didn't mean he was homosexual. Of course.
...And since when had he even started caring about what Shiranui Genma thought of him anyway? He didn't give a shit about what that man thought! If he was stupid enough not to understand that even if you had a whole harem of cute single women at your feet, if the only thing they truly wanted was to marry you since you'd make a good father for the children they didn't want to take care of, it'd be normal not to feel turned on by any of them...! If Genma couldn't understand that then it was his problem and his alone!
But then a small, perfidious yet truthful voice inside Iruka's head reminded him that his lack of attirance for the fair sex wasn't anything new; well before that troublesome dating affair had started, he was already having that problem... Iruka frowned at that thought, suddenly feeling confused and mildly anxious.
True, he was not... particularly attracted to women, but didn't mean he was automatically gay. He refused to believe it. That didn't mean anything. He had never shown any... sing, any interest for males before. Never. So he couldn't be homo-
Then it hit him.
Hands.
Hands on his body. A man's hands. In that dream, that damn dream that had started everything...
Shaking his head violently, the chuunin tried to chase that stupid memory away; it didn't mean anything, it was just a dream...! A nightmare, even! It didn't mean anything at all. Really, he was being silly to fuss so much over it...!
Getting up, the chuunin walked to the fridge and busied himself cooking dinner, focusing acutely on his task to forget about those threasherous thoughts that had crossed his mind.
The rest of the evening went by smoothly. Iruka cooked the dinner and then silently hand-fed the jounin. After helping the man to swallow his cranberry juice, the chuunin went back to the kitchen and started to eat his own meal in silence, staring at the fridge tiredly. The silence and the stillness that prevailed inside his apartment was boring, Iruka decided as he hate his last mouthful of rice, getting up to start washing the dishes. But at the very least, he wasn't being harrassed, insulted or chased around, so he guessed that boring was good.
As he was washing the dishes, his mind drifted back to the bed-ridden man in the room next to his and before he even knew it, Iruka found himself musing about Hatake Kakashi. Recently, the academy teacher realized, they had been getting along better - well they were still tense around each other of course, but... But somehow Iruka didn't feel the urge to make the man die slowly and painfully in some way or another everytime he saw him. Which was definitely an improvement. And he didn't feel quite as much angry with himself for his weakness or for caring anymore, which was definitely a HUGE improvement.
Of course, he still wanted to strangle the jounin when he made a fuss about being shaved but that didn't count - Iruka had shaved the man everyday for over a week now, he should have gotten accustomed to it by now. Especially after the whole bathing affair; Iruka couldn't understand how Kakashi could still feel so uneasy about being simply shaved after that.
But on the whole, Iruka felt more... clement toward the silver-haired man. He didn't quite know how it had happened but... he knew that ever since the small Christmas party, it was as if... as if they had finally broken the ice. Or maybe it was because that party had helped him to realize that even though the Copy nin was a perverted werdo with strange social conceptions, he was still a human being. And a lonely one too. From that point of view, his situation was more pathetic than anything else.
Oh, he still resented the man for what he had done. No doubts about that. But he also understood. Understood that Hatake Kakashi was just another child who had grown far too fast, another soldier who had learned to fight before he had learned to express himself, and that he wasn't the one to blame for it. It wasn't his fault; he didn' know better. And although some part of him wouldn't admit, Iruka knew he had already started to forgive the man. But that bastard shouldn't be forgiven! He didn't deserve to be forgiven for wrecking his whole life during weeks only because he hadn't known better and felt sorry about it! It would be far too easy.
Sighing, Iruka put away the last plate and started to absent-mindely walk through his small apartment. His relationship with the silver-haired jounin was so complex... When he thought he finally understood Hatake Kakashi and how he felt toward him, something happened and his whole conception of the man was turned upside down, and he had to start from the beginning once again. Always wondering what the Copy nin could be thinking in that little head of his and what he, Umino Iruka, felt about it. Even after all what had happened and what he had learn about him, somehow Kakashi still managed to remain a mystery to him. The fact that he was probably a mystery even to himself was only a small comfort.
Sometimes he wished he could just not give a shit about how he felt and why he felt like that, like many others, who lacked maturity and self-confidence to analyse themselves and realize that the world was not revolving around them. That things were rarely black and white. That the line between good and bad was tinner than people cared to admit, especially in a village full of killers who were trained to obey without asking questions. Sometimes he wished he could be that simple-minded; maybe it would make things easier for him. Hell, it would without any doubts make things a lot easier for him! But he wasn't like that. He had never been able to obey blindly and kill, it had never been... him. Maybe that was why he had never tried to become a jounin before. It was not that he didn't have the potential, unlike many of his chuunin colleagues who dreamed of nothing else than becoming more than a middle-ranked chuunin doing paperwork and non-important missions. If he put his mind into it, he was pretty sure he'd be able to become a jounin. But he didn't feel the need to. People often thought that he was still only a chuunin because he was lazy. Because he loved children too much. Because he couldn't free himself of his emotions, his doubts and fears. Because he was weak. Iruka didn't know for sure why he had never become a jounin, but he liked to think that those things weren't weaknesses. He liked to think that he was a man before being a soldier.
Okay, a lonely, boring and overworked man, but a man nonetheless.
While he was musing, his feet had led him to the guest room, and Iruka found himself watching the silver-haired jounin thoughtfully from the threshold. He wondered if Kakashi sometimes doubted. If he could be scared. If he could love. On the facade, the man seemed to be just a bored, nonchalant person, but what was under that carefully planned mask of his? Was he a soldier whose emotions had been numbed by the blood, or just man who had grown far too fast and still tried to figure out what it meant to be an adult?
Maybe this was what being a jounin was about. Learning to shut all the doubts and fears in and act as if everything was fine.
Iruka shut his eyes, rubbing them tiredly. He had to be really tired to start getting so philosophic... He truly needed his bed. Opening his eyes again, his gaze fell on the jounin half-sitting, half-lying on his bed, staring silently at the wall in front of him. Waiting for sleep to come. And probably bored out of his mind. For some reason, the brown-haired man suddenly felt a bit bad for the jounin. After all, even though he was a social wreck and a complete jerk, Kakashi was still a man as well... And even if he was a complete moron, he didn't deserve to spend his whole days staring at the ceiling or the wall like that. To have nothing to look forward to except when he came to hand-feed him... It was just pathetic.
Inwardly wondering why he was bothering doing this to start with, Iruka walked to his bedroom and started to search through his small, overpacked wardrobe. He knew he hadn't thrown it away - he had bought it years ago because everybody had one, but had never really used it. It just wasn't his kind of thing. So in the end he had gotten tired of seeing it lying around in his living room and had decided to put it away. Moving a few dusty boxes, Iruka finally found what he had been looking for and without some difficulty, managed to get it out from the bottom of his wardrome. Carrying it to his kitchen table, he rapidly washed away the dust it was covered with, hoping it was still working after all these years. Hell, he had never used it; he didn't see how the damn thing couldn't work.
Going back to the guestroom, he gave the room a critical circular glance, wondering where he would put it. He had had that problem too when he had first wanted to install it in his living room; he had had to move around half of the furniture to finally find it a good place. One more reason why he had found the damn thing annoying.
Maybe if he moved the dresser to that wall... yes, that would work. He was lucky; it wouldn't be too complicated. He had feared he would be forced to move the bed...
Nodding to himself, Iruka rolled his sleeves and awkwardly took the large, empty dresser into his arms. Lifting it, he slowly moved it to the other opposite of the room, letting it fall to the ground loudly. Letting out a heavy breath, he backed down and eyed the dresser, happy with himself.
"Err, Iruka-sensei?" the jounin asked him hesitantly. "What are you doing?"
Ignoring the man's question, Iruka went to the kitchen to get it and brought it back into the guest room, putting it on top of the dresser. Plugging it in the nearby eletric plug, Iruka turned on the television and played with its small antenna to get a better reception. When he was satisfied with the image, the chuunin left the room, not even saying a word. The brown-haired man walked to his own bedroom and let himself fall into his bed heavilly, quite glad his day was over. In the darkness, he could hear the distant sound of the television playing in the guest room and sighed.
The jounin hadn't said a word as he had installed the television and quite honestly, he was glad for it. He hoped Kakashi wouldn't think he had forgiven him or something. Because he hadn't. It wasn't because he had lent him his television that it meant he wasn't angry with him anymore.
No, he was just... getting drifted away by the Holidays spirit, he guessed.
Sighing once again, Iruka suddenly felt very sleepy, and his bed seemed extremely comfy for some reason. And for once, he didn't care that some lights were still turned on, or that he was still fully dressed. He didn't even care that he hadn't brushed his teeth yet.
He just fell asleep.
To be continued.