Check it out...the long awaited third chapter! And you all only had to wait years and years....don't hit me!
He walked into the factory, his duster swirling in the air behind him, faint traces of smokes rising from his undead flesh where the sun's light hit it. He cursed repeatedly until he made it inside. He looked around and saw that while his home was a safe haven from the sun, it was also terribly burned. What was going on here? This was just….bizarre.
"What the bloody hell going on?" he queried.
And with that he pulled a cigarette from his coat and lit it. He needed to kill something.
Amanda was far from a normal girl. She was after all a Potential Slayer; born with the abilities to be a successful Slayer should she ever be called. She was smarter than she gave herself credit for and a little tougher as well. She had the instincts needed to be an effective Slayer one day. Hell she had helped save the world and maybe the universe from the First Evil a few months back! If only she wasn't flunking English….
Her thoughts were soon drawn away from her latest woes by the strange message that just came over the intercom. Her English teacher and the rest of the students were panicking. Not Amanda though. No she was calm. She was collected. Hell she wasn't in fucking denial. This HAD to have a supernatural bent to it. Stuff always did. So being a Potential Slayer, she decided to do the most logical thing in the wake of a supernatural attack a Potential could do: she looked around for her number 2 pencil.
Smirking she found it and brandished it like Buffy and Faith had taught her.
"Buffy and Principal Wood can probably handle this, but just in case they can't…" Amanda said, watching her teacher and some students were exiting the classroom by the windows.
She used the moment to slip out of the room into the hallway unnoticed.
"…I'll be back up."
Robin Wood crawled for the hollow space on the wall in his office. He always kept a cache of demon-killing weapons behind it, just in case of such an event. Still he wished he was moving a little faster.
Maybe if he were capable of it, the stiletto heel of Willow Rosenberg wouldn't have come down on his hand. She smiled as she ground it in, making his hand bleed. He gritted his teeth hard, but did not scream.
"Aww, Puppy's not being very fun. He's not barking or anything." She pouted.
Robin held the pain in as the heel ground deeper. How Willow and Xander had been turned he had no idea (well he knew how), but he would end their stint on the Hellmouth as demons even if it took every fiber of his being.
When he went flying through the glass window back into the outer office, he quickly realized that perhaps he didn't have the constitution he once had.
"Puppy is pretty fun to punish though." Vamp Willow giggled.
Vamp Xander just laughed and strode over to where Wood had been crawling. He knocked on the wall and listened.
"Watcha doin?" Vamp Willow asked.
"Checking this wall."
"Why?"
"Cause I think there might be something here."
"Why?"
"Cause he was crawling over here like he was looking for something."
"Why?"
Vamp Xander merely punched the wall, making it splinter and crack open. He quickly gripped the now obviously false cover and ripped it from the wall.
"OH!" Vamp Willow said in amazement.
Vamp Xander chuckled and pulled out two daggers.
"TOYS!" Vamp Willow giggled, "Can I have one?"
Vamp Xander gave her an angry look.
"PLEEEEEEEEEEASE?" she whined.
He chuckled and tossed her a dagger.
"I just gave you that look so you'd pout. You do such a cute pouty thing." Vamp Xander sighed, adoringly.
"That's cause I'm all hot and fuckable." Vamp Willow said, licking the blade.
"We'd better go get your puppy before the dogcatcher gets him." Vamp Xander said, exiting the office.
Robin lunged at him with the broken leg off a chair. Xander quickly brought the knife up and blocked the makeshift stake before smiling through his game face.
"Nice. You almost had me, but my Master taught me better than that." Vamp Xander said releasing the dagger and delivering a spinning backhand to Robin that sent him on top of Buffy's desk.
Vamp Willow sighed.
"My baby's so hot and studly." She said before giving Vamp Xander a violent kiss.
"I've worked up an appetite. I'm gonna see if there's anything worth eating around here." Vamp Xander said, picking up his dagger and heading for the door, "Don't forget to play nice."
Vamp Willow leapt upon Principal Wood, straddling him, and ripped open his button-up shirt.
"No such thing." She said in a singsong little girl voice.
Vamp Xander merely laughed and walked out the door, "Come out come out wherever you are!"
Vamp Willow smiled evilly. She traced the tip of her dagger across Robin's chest eliciting weak groans and barely breaking the skin. She bit her own lip.
"Bad Puppy. No treat."
Buffy immediately knew something was wrong because of the police cars and frantic students and faculty fleeing the building. Still she wasn't very concerned. This was what she used to after all. She HAD gone to school here after all. She felt for her chakram deep in the bottom of her purse and smiled when her fingertips touched the cool metal circle.
"Okay, getting in won't be a problem. I have all the entrances and exits mapped out in my head." She began to plan mentally, "I just have to wait for the chance to get by the cops, but that's no big. I've been doing that since I was fifteen. The only thing is what I'm dealing with. Invisible people, angry spirits, zombie ghosts, maybe another disgruntled lunch lady."
"OH MY GOD! I THINK IT WAS A GANG ON PCP!" a teacher exclaimed to a police officer only a few feet away.
"Vampires it is. They're getting bold." Buffy thought, "And making me unprepared. I never carry Mr. Pointy in the day. Though, I can improvise."
Buffy smirked and felt her chakram again before looking for an opening to get inside. She was ready to kick some vampire ass…after counseling them of course. She was on the clock after all.
"Okay, I think we're ready." Willow said, sprinkling the last of the herbs in a circle around the still bound Mary.
"Do you have the chicken feet?" Tara asked, Poe mounted on her shoulder.
Willow smiled and waved them.
"Don't I always?" she asked.
"How utterly barbarous." Poe cawed in crow speak.
"He's kind of bristling at the bird feet huh?" Kennedy asked lying on the couch covered up to her neck in a blanket, trying to recover her strength.
"How'd you guess?" Tara asked.
"You live with someone long enough you get a pretty good idea what they're thinking." Kennedy replied.
"That is so true. I can tell whenever Spike wants some. He has this little far away look that he gets." Mary smirked.
"Ew. TMI." Dawn gagged.
"Oh come off it Bit. You like him." Mary sighed in an accusatory tone.
"Yeah like when I was fourteen maybe." Dawn replied.
"Can we please move off this subject? Not really caring about the Spike talk." Xander stated.
"Agreed." Kennedy added.
"Oh don't knock him till you've tried him." Mary said.
"I'm straight." Xander defended.
"I'm gay." Kennedy replied.
"I'm bi, so let's have a three-way." Mary smirked.
"We kind of walked into that one didn't we?" Xander remarked at a shrugging Kennedy.
"ANYWAY." Willow said, getting everyone's attention, "We're going to try and send you back now."
"Aw, but I wanted to take T and K out to find Giles and molest him horribly so they can see what they're missing. You too Strawberry. I know you crushed on him." Mary laughed.
Willow blushed.
"ANYWAY!" Willow said again, "We're going to make a temporal field and get you back to your universe at about the same time you left. If everything goes smoothly it should be a pretty easy trip."
"Are you sure we can do this?" Tara asked.
"Eh. I was able to do it in high school. I'm way more powerful now. Plus I have you helping me." Willow smiled, taking Tara's hand, "Now let's start waving the chicken feet and getting her back to where she belongs."
"Cool. Sooner I get back the sooner I can hunt down my Giles. I'm kinda jonesing for him now." Mary said with a lick of her lips, "And if this doesn't work I'm kinda hoping I'm saying his name enough to get you guys to have an orgy with me and him here."
"This is where you say anyway." Tara told Willow.
"Let's just get her back." Willow said, frustrated.
She waved the chicken feet and began to speak in Latin to perform the spell.
"This should be pretty cool." Xander said, sitting on the arm of the couch, "I saw Willow do this to Vamp her a few years ago. It's like one minute they're here and the next they're just gone!"
"She just fades out?" Kennedy asked.
"Yeah. She'll be all poof, gone." Xander smiled, remembering, "Any second now she'll be out of here."
Willow waved the chicken feet again.
"Any second now." Xander repeated.
Willow's eyebrow arched when she waved the chicken feet yet again.
"Yes sir, any second now." Xander nodded.
Another wave.
"Any—"
"Stop saying that." Kennedy ordered.
"Something's wrong." Willow said, "I should be able to do a spell like this in my sleep. I mean I could barely levitate a pencil when I did this before but I'm not making any process at all."
"Really?" Mary asked, almost delighted.
"Really." Willow replied.
"In that case, Giles Giles Giles Giles Giles." Mary giggled.
"You know that's not going to work." Willow said.
"Even if Mr. Giles is an attractive man." Tara added before getting looks, "That just came out wrong. I swear."
"Please. I bet you call him "muffin" the next time you see him." Mary laughed.
"What's the problem Wills?" Xander asked, trying to draw any attention away from Giles being seen as a sexual object.
"Yeah. I mean sure your spells used to go haywire all the time, but not since you went Big Wicca." Dawn replied.
"I don't know. It's like something's blocking me only there's no real resistance. It's like the spell just won't work." Willow said standing, "Maybe I should go see Stephen about this."
"You think that will help?" Tara asked.
"Yeah. If nothing else I can get him to do it for me." Willow shrugged, "Yeah I know that's not really good to say but whatever."
"A girl's gotta know her limits." Mary nodded.
"Yeah…okay it's getting really eerie that we're talking like this." Willow added.
"Isn't it though?" Mary said.
"Okay, I'm hopping a portal to New York." Willow said as she walked into a less populated area of the living room.
"Be careful baby." Kennedy said, smiling at Willow.
"I'll be good. You just be careful here and get some rest." Willow smiled back.
"Maybe I should come too." Tara began, "I mean I have some mystical knowledge. Plus I've never seen where a Sorcerer Supreme lives. There must be all sorts of neat tomes lying around I could study and start flexing my Wicca muscles again. Also he may get my insect reflection joke."
Everyone but Willow looked at Tara.
"Well you see your insect reflection is you inner—"
"Tara, honey, sweetie…I didn't get it three years ago so I won't now." Xander stopped her.
Tara pouted and Poe cawed.
"I can peck his eyes out you know. I'm sure no one will notice." Poe said to Tara.
"He's talking about me isn't he?" Xander said, "I know that little runt talks about me!"
Tara looked like she was about to say something before Willow took her hand.
"Come away from the bad man sweetie." Willow said, her hand lighting up and creating a swirling vortex in the center of the room, "We'll see you guys a little later okay?"
"Take care. Try not to get focused on by supervillains like when I'm there!" Dawn said waving.
A moment later, the portal was closed and the two Wicca were gone.
"I'll never get over how cool that looks." Kennedy said.
"Eh, you see one mystic portal opening you see them all." Mary shrugged.
"You've just seen it all haven't you?" Kennedy exuded bad attitude towards Mary.
Mary just smirked.
"I've seen my Willow in a tight red corset, so yeah, I guess I have." Mary replied.
"…Tell me more?" Kennedy asked.
"Yes…do go on." Xander said, immediately curious.
"Xander!" Dawn said accusingly.
"What?!" Xander shot back.
Mary shook her head. Same old gang. Then her ears caught something.
"You might want to answer the door." She said.
"Why's that?" Xander asked, before the doorbell rang.
"Vampire hearing." Mary said.
Xander sighed and trudged for the door with a grumble. He opened it and found an odd sight on the other side. A very eerily smiling Buffy on the other side.
"What's up Buff? School canceled?" he asked.
Buffy just looked at him for a second before speaking.
"Alexander Harris?" Buffy asked.
"Uh, last I checked Buff." Xander nodded.
Buffy's fist impacted his face and sent him sprawling down past the stairway.
"You have been targeted for extermination by Emperor Warren the First. All hail Emperor Warren!" Buffy said walking into the house and looking around.
She focused on Dawn.
"Dawn Summers? You have been targeted for extermination by Emperor Warren the First. All hail Emperor Warren!" Buffy said again before examining Kennedy and Mary, "Unknown accessories. Eliminate."
"Robot?" Mary asked, raising an eyebrow.
Dawn focused her energies, making her eyes and hands glow green. Green energy issued outwards at "Buffy" as she walked towards them. She spasmed and stopped dead in her tracks. Dawn examined the hole in the statue-like form of her sister.
"Yep. Robot." Dawn replied.
"You guys fight robots?" Kennedy asked, standing up.
"I hate robots." Xander said from the floor in a broken, pain-filled voice.
"Buffy" spasmed again and suddenly backhanded Dawn to the floor, damaging her already injured nose further. Kennedy threw a Judo chop at "Buffy", but had she even been at full strength it would have done nothing. "Buffy" merely absorbed the blow and picked up Kennedy by the throat, choking her.
Mary sighed and went into her game face. She tensed and roared as the ropes about her began to snap. She sighed again. Like ropes could really hold her if she wanted out. Chains, yeah. Handcuffs, maybe. But not ropes.
"Hey there Buff," she said standing, "You're going to have to put her down cause if you kill her on my watch it kinda makes it hard for me to get into her Willow's pants."
"Buffy" regarded Mary and dropped Kennedy on the couch.
"Identification: unknown. Species: vampire. Plan of action: eliminate." The Buffy-Bot said throwing a kick.
Mary jumped backwards and threw a left, which was just a feint for her right hand to crash into the Buffy-Bot's face. She went stumbling back.
"First thing dad ever told me was to always keep 'em guessing." Mary said popping her knuckles.
"Sounds like something I'd say." Spike said leaning against the stairway.
"Hey. Wanna help?" Mary asked.
"You have to tag me in first." Spike replied, with a slight smile.
"Eh. Not yet. Help Harris out though." Mary replied, as she tackled the Buffy-Bot into the dining room table.
"I fail to see as to why." Spike replied.
Mary headbutted the Buffy-Bot before getting thrown back out in front of Spike.
"He might be hurt." Mary replied on her back, flipping the Buffy-Bot as it came forward.
"Again, I fail to see your logic." Spike half-laughed.
"You guys really are different here." Mary said.
"Guess so. Ten o'clock by the way."
Mary moved out of the way of a thrust kick and threw a spinning kick of her own. The Buffy-Bot caught it however and twisted her ankle sickeningly. Mary howled in pain before the Buffy-Bot pushed her backwards at Spike's feet. Its eyes then settled on him.
"Spike. AKA William the Bloody? You have been targeted for extermination by Emperor—"
Spike just punched the machine with a smile.
"Yeah, yeah. Let's just go you stupid chit. This is the best way to take out frustration on Buffy since trying to kill the real thing is out of the question now."
"Or laying her." Mary added, sitting up.
"Or laying her." Spike replied.
"Less sex…more fight." A still dazed Xander said as Mary tried to drag him away from the action.
Spike lured the Buffy-Bot forward and nailed it. Immediately he began to run his pros and cons in this battle. On the one hand it was easily as fast and strong as his Buffy, maybe stronger since it was a robot. Seemed to have pretty well programmed fighting skills too. It was hard to hurt and wouldn't tire either. Spike was also in a sort of a bind. He didn't have a lot of room to maneuver and it was day outside.
On the other hand, Robo-Bint here was already damaged and may stop working at any moment. She also lacked the imagination that the real Buffy had. He'd beaten tough Slayers before. This one shouldn't be any different.
Spike dodged a right, then a left, and backed away, grabbing a picture from the wall as a shield. The next punch came through the picture of Buffy's father and Spike imagined his Buffy wouldn't much care. Bleedin' low life. Anywho, Spike backed into the kitchen finally getting some freedom of movement. He threw a kick at the Buffy-Bot that sent it into the counter. It backhanded him as he tried to follow up and flipped him on top of the counter. Spike barely dodged the fist that came down, leaving a broken indent into the tile. The vampire thought quickly and grabbed a frying pan and nailed the Buffy-Bot in the head again and again and again, sending it reeling. Spike leapt off the counter and looked at his weapon.
"No wonder Anya used this in fights. It's not a sword, but it'll do." Spike mused before smashing the Buffy-Bot in the head again.
Rubbery skin broke and parted, showing the metal components underneath and Spike just smirked.
"Lots of iron in your diet I see." Spike said, before closing his eyes and growling, "I have been living with the Slayer for entirely too long."
The Buffy-Bot took that time to headbutt Spike and slam him into the wall by the backdoor. Spike's hand went beneath the blinds on the door in the impact, rays of light hitting his bare hand. Growling in pain, Spike brought his hand up and struck the Buffy-Bot in the head over and over again.
"That! Bloody! Hurt!" he said, throwing a hard punch with every word.
The Buffy-Bot stumbled back slightly and seemed to be processing something.
"Searching for vampire weaknesses. Searching. Found: sunlight." It said cheerily as it reached for the doorknob.
Spike's eyes went wide with fright and he dove for the doorknob. The Buffy-Bot opened it before he could and slammed the door into his face before kicking him outside onto the back porch. Spike roared in agony as his flesh began to smoke and catch fire. He tried to shield himself from the damned light with his duster, but he just received a kick to the ribs each time. Not that it mattered. He'd be ash in a moment or two anyway. Well by God, he'd go out with a fight.
Spike stood and went into his game face, burning and smoking before punching the Buffy-Bot weakly. She nailed him with a punch that put him on the ground. Spike's world was spinning. He was soaked in pain and hadn't the strength to move. This could suck quite a lot.
That's when he heard the roar. That's when he barely saw the Buffy-Bot fly forward and roll to the ground. That's when he was lifted into the air. That's when he looked up into the golden eyes of a fanged goddess and suddenly felt very randy despite the mind numbing pain and burning.
"I got you! Just hang on baby!" Mary growled as she ran with him and burned herself. They made it up the steps and just barely stumbled inside onto the kitchen floor. Mary collapsed with her load.
"You…saved me…" Spike said weakly.
"Duh." She said, kissing him full on the lips.
Spike sank into the coolness of her lips and enjoyed before jerking away suddenly.
"She's back!" he shouted as the Buffy-Bot began to walk into the doorway.
The Buffy-Bot looked at them and actually growled before preparing to advance on the wounded vampires. Then it stopped suddenly and sputtered. It could have been because of the axe Xander just buried in the back of its head. The Buffy-Bot turned and looked ready to strike at Xander. Then it just fell flat on its face. Xander looked relieved.
"Way to go bro!" Mary laughed as she lay back, going to her human features.
"Well, I just thought I'd get it in a pincer attack ya know. So I grabbed one of Buffy's spare axes and went out the front door and came around back. Pretty clever if I do say so myself." Xander said proudly, "I'm just glad it worked."
"See….now that's why my Dru turned him." Mary laughed again.
Spike laughed weakly.
"Yeah, she does seem to have a history of turning little wankers into badasses." Spike replied.
"I'll ignore that comment and move onto how and why you got a new sex-bot built." Xander replied, closing the backdoor.
"I didn't do it!" Spike shouted, crawling to the fridge to get some fresh blood.
"Sex-bot?" Mary asked, still lying there.
"Never ask." Spike replied.
"Well if you didn't have it built where did it come from?" Xander asked.
"No clue. Go check on the Bit and the bitch." Spike said, pulling a large pitcher from the fridge.
Xander sighed and walked out of the room.
"Vampires. I swear to God." He sighed.
"Thirsty?" Spike asked Mary.
"You kidding? Haven't had any blood all day. That and I'm kind of injured now so yeah…I'll have a drink." Mary said, sitting up.
"Alright. I'll get us some glasses. I think this is pig." Spike said, standing weakly.
"Pig? Ew." Mary said.
"Yeah I know, I know. But I'm past the killing."
"You should try blood banks. That's where we get a lot of ours."
"Ah. May give that a go."
"Yeah because human blood tastes a lot better."
"More addictive though. Makes it harder to keep from killing."
"Eh. I walk the edge."
Mary smirked.
"You want me to fix us some drinks?"
"Like what?" Spike asked, eyebrow raised.
"A Bloody Me."
"A Bloody you……ohhhhh I got ya." Spike smirked.
"And then maybe we could slip some liquor to Dawnie in there too." Mary smirked back.
"You're evil."
"I am."
"Think she'd like vodka or rum better?"
"Rum. Definitely rum."
Deep within his Sanctum Sanctorum, Dr. Stephen Strange meditated. He was currently floating on the air, his eyes closed, and engaging in the most strenuous mental activity a Sorcerer Supreme could ever hope to be involved in. Slowly, he thought his strategy through and immediately smiled knowing success was only a few seconds away. He began to speak, powerful words respected throughout the myriad dimensions.
"Got any threes?"
"Go fish." Wong replied.
Dr. Strange opened his eyes and sighed.
"I fear my expertise at this game may have faded." He said.
"I still don't have any threes so go fish."
"Maybe you should try for Uno." Willow said as she entered the room, with Tara and Poe behind her.
Dr. Strange turned.
"Willow, Tara, good morning. To what do I owe this visit?" Dr. Strange asked, as he stood on the ground.
"Well, we have a situation." Willow answered.
"Dire?"
"Potentially."
"Ah. Tell it to me mentally. We'll save some time that way." Dr. Strange stated.
Willow just put on her resolve face and began to sum up the whole issue with Mary in her thoughts.
"I see. That is interesting." He began, stroking his goatee, "Wong would you prepare us some tea?"
"Of course. Perhaps the ladies or even the bird would like something to eat with it assuming they haven't had breakfast. Some toast perhaps?" Wong asked, politely.
"I'm fine." Willow replied.
"Some toast for me please. And maybe another slice for Poe?" Tara replied, petting her crow.
"I'll be a few moments then." Wong said, bowing before he walked out of the room.
"So do you have any idea what it may be Stephen?" Willow asked.
"I have a few theories but none I'm concrete upon. It could be another potential crossover." Strange said as he levitated a book to himself.
"A crossover?" Willow asked confused.
"Yes. It's all rather clockwork actually. There are certain times when the strata of reality are weaker than usual. In those times it is very possible for beings from other universes or dimensions to cross over from one to another. It's even possible at times for entire realities to merge and for the universe to repair itself by making the inhabitants of those universes see nothing as being out of the ordinary. It's all very hypothetical I assure you, but I have had some experiences with other dimensions." Strange said as he through the book, "That's a Feldwar Stone by the way Tara."
Tara looked up suddenly.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to snoop around." She said, drawing her hand back from the large stone.
"It's quite alright. You're as welcome here as Willow is. And please feel free to touch anything here that you wish to. I keep all my less than safe artifacts under lock and key." Strange smiled at the girl.
"So do you have any other ideas?" Willow asked, hopeful.
Dr. Strange closed the book.
"This may call for using the Orb of Agamotto." Dr. Strange replied.
"I thought it was called the Eye of Agamotto?" Tara asked.
"Well the Eye is merely my medallion. I use that for when I'm in a place in person. The Orb is more a long distanced device. Considering your town is on a dimensional portal of a certain nature, Sunnydale itself may have brought this…Mary from an alternate dimension and may indeed be blocking you from sending her back, at least from the method you were trying." Dr. Strange said, walking to a simply gigantic crystal ball in the center of the room, "Ladies, please have a seat. It may be a few moments before I can ascertain what the problem is here. Also I believe Wong is back with the tea."
"An astute observation sir. If only your card playing abilities were as keen." Wong replied, sitting a tray down on a coffee table.
"Uno's a good game though." Tara said, somewhat shyly.
"Come on. Somebody join in the fun here. You can't have all been evacuated." Vamp Xander said, walking down the halls kicking a door in and moving on when he saw no one was inside the room, "Everybody now. School's out for the summer! School's out forever! School's been blown to pieces! Or at least it will be once I get bored."
"Maybe you should get a hobby then." Buffy said rounding a corner, "Pick up collecting stamps or comics or maybe even start some Tae Bo. Fun stuff that Tae—"
Vamp Xander turned.
"Bo-oh my God you're Xander." Buffy blurted out.
"Slayer." Vamp Xander growled.
"Okay, we've been friends for about eight years now, I think you can call me Buffy." Buffy said, wondering what the hell was going on.
"Not my friend. You killed me!" Vamp Xander growled.
"Tell me about it. She has a thing about doing that." A new figure said, coming from around the corner at the opposite end of the hallway.
Buffy's eyes went wide for the second time in five minutes.
"Angel?" Buffy asked.
"Oh look. It's Willow's puppy." Vamp Xander sneered.
Angel pulled a small crossbow from his coat.
"Careful. I bite." Angel replied.
"Angel what's going on?" Buffy asked.
"Not really sure. I came in early and then all this stuff broke out." Angel replied, "I'm still struggling with the why Xander's an evil vampire."
Vamp Xander made a move and Angel moved with it keeping careful aim at the heart.
"Ah ah ah Harris. Let's not be making any sudden moves." Angel replied.
Buffy stood there and shook her head.
"Angel, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked puzzled.
Angel glanced at Buffy oddly.
"I work here. Remember?" Angel replied.
"Uh…no." Buffy said
"Honey are you alright?" Angel asked, taking his eyes away from Xander for just an instant.
It was all he needed. Vamp Xander slugged Buffy quickly as she was nearer. Then he turned and managed to catch the crossbow bolt out of the air.
"Ya know puppy, your bark's a lot worse than your bite." Vamp Xander said before moving forward.
Angel stood ready to meet him and threw a punch. It struck Vamp Xander in the head, making him take a step back. He looked confused, and quickly dodged the stake Angel had pulled at him before grabbing Angel by the arm and twisting. Angel groaned in pain. Vamp Xander smiled and then released Angel. Angel turned and punched Vamp Xander again. Vamp Xander laughed.
"You're not hitting half as hard as I'd expect." Vamp Xander said before sniffing the air, "Though it's still pretty hard…for a human."
Vamp Xander punched Angel hard, sending him sliding across the floor. Before he could move forward something metal whizzed between he and Angel and ricocheted off of a locker. It nailed him in the chest making him stumble back. He looked down at the metal ring half-imbedded in his chest. He turned to see Buffy.
"Let's see how hard I hit." Buffy said, before pulling her fist back.
Xander flew down the hall into a roll and growled as he barely regained his footing.
"Pretty hard for a human. And a girl." Buffy smirked.
Xander reached down and pulled the chakram from his chest. He growled.
"Catch!"
The chakram came whizzing at Buffy who merely stood there impassively. Her hand shot up at the last possible second and she caught the spinning disk.
"I'm pretty good at Frisbee huh?" Buffy smirked, "Now then, let's stop playing games and get down to—"
Vamp Xander took off running.
"HEY! You're not supposed to run away!" Buffy shouted, before looking down at a groaning Angel, "Angel? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Angel said sitting up slowly, "You should go after him."
"You're hurt. Since when are you…well…human?" Buffy asked.
"What are you talking about? I have been for four years."
Buffy looked at him like he had grown another head.
"Riiiiight." She said.
"Look I'm fine. I've had worse like when Dracula almost killed me. So you need to go after that guy with Xander's face and kick his ass for me." Angel said, standing.
"Yeah. Yeah, we'll talk later. Maybe you should go to the office. See if Principal Wood is alright. I haven't seen him in all this so he might be hurt." Buffy stated.
"Yeah, good idea. Go after the faux-Xander. And Buffy?" Angel said.
"Yeah?"
She was surprised by a deep, warm kiss on the lips.
"Be careful baby." Angel replied.
Buffy's eyes went wide again.
"Yeah. I'll be careful. Careful Buffy. Um…you too." Buffy said before racing down the halls wondering if this day could get any weirder.
"So then your insect reflection is really your inner self." Tara recited, expecting bizarre looks.
Wong did indeed look at her, before completely breaking down and guffawing like a madman. Tara was somewhat taken back by all this and looked to Willow, who was suppressing a smirk. Dr. Strange looked back at the laughing Wong and the others with a surprised look on his face. Then he started laughing so hard he fell off of his perch on the air.
"Even I didn't think it was that funny." Tara stated.
"It's cute." Willow replied, giggling a little, "I mean I always got it."
Dr. Strange and Wong continued to laugh loudly before finally stopping. Then starting again.
"Guys?" Willow asked.
"Yes, yes, sorry. It's just that….that….that's the funniest thing I've heard in weeks." Dr. Strange said before laughing again.
"Yes…we have no lives." Wong said, laughing again.
"Maybe we should stay on task?" Willow asked again.
"Yes. You're right. I'm sorry." Dr. Strange stated, stoically.
He regained his seat on thin air and began looking into the Orb of Agamotto. Then he started laughing again.
"Insect reflection!" he went wild again.
"STEPHEN!" Willow shouted.
"Alright, I'm done. Sorry again." Strange said before getting back to business, "Hmm interesting. The dimensional vibrations are out of synch."
"That would fall into the bad category wouldn't it?" Willow asked, as she and Tara walked to Dr. Strange's side.
"Potentially. You see any dimensional portal has its own frequency. That's what dictates when it opens and closes. The Hellmouth has a particular frequency of its own which is fairly straight forward. It opens to Hell and in return a portion of Hell opens to it as well. And it has simply enormous energy as a result. Energy that when acted upon by an outside force could pry open holes to other Sunnydale's across infinity. Matter or beings for that matter could be brought across and stranded here. As a result that could cause great problems."
"Things wouldn't be properly aligned here or in their other universes." Tara spoke up.
"How did you know that?" Dr. Strange asked.
"Nature is all about balance."
"Okay, we know what's going on, but why?" Willow asked, "What's causing that?"
"I can focus in on the source with the Orb and then I can go to Sunnydale with you and repair the damage that has been done. In the meantime, you should call your friends and have them take care of things. New ruptures into this reality will occur from time to time and to keep the process from speeding up things need to be kept exactly as they are." Dr. Strange ordered.
"No killing Mary then. I got ya." Willow replied, before digging into her purse to get her cell phone.
Buffy didn't know where Xander had gone. She had chased him down into the bowels of the school, into the absolutely labyrinth-like basement. She often wondered exactly what her Xander's reasoning was for building the foundation like this. Did he want her to go chasing monsters in the dark? Her Slayer senses were working overtime, trying to pinpoint exactly where the demon with her friend's face was. It would take all her skill and stealth if she wanted to sneak up on him. As a vampire he could smell the pheromones she gave off. He could feel the vibrations her footfalls made on the concrete. He could hear her slightest breath….or her really loud cell phone. Cursing, Buffy pulled it out and answered it very quietly.
"Hello?" Buffy said in a whisper.
"Buffy, it's Willow. We're coming up with an idea of what's going on. There's something up with the Hellmouth and its making other universes cross over with ours. That's why Mary's here." Willow's voice said on the other end.
"Yeah, I figure that's why the human Angel and vampire Xander are here too." Buffy replied.
"Vampire Xander?"
"Yeah. Remember skanky ho you? Well I think her boyfriend just came to town." Buffy whispered into the phone, "I'm hunting him in the school basement now."
"You can't dust him!" Willow shouted through the phone, "You might screw up whatever's going on and make it worse."
"Oh great. So he can try to kill me but I can't hurt him?" Buffy asked, before instantly ducking.
The piece of pipe slammed into the concrete wall behind her.
"That works for me." Vamp Xander snarled.
"Wills? I'll call you back okay?" Buffy said, hanging up her cel phone and dodging another swing of the pipe.
"Okay, I think Buffy's going to need our help." Willow said to Tara as she put her phone back into her purse.
"You think we should head back already?" Tara asked.
"I think it would be imperative. We need to go to Sunnydale immediately." Dr. Strange said, floating away from the Orb of Agamotto, "I believe I can undo the damage done there because I've found its source."
Willow and Tara looked to the Orb and each one took a gasp.
"Is that—is that?" Willow started.
"It is." Tara added, "Man this is just one of those days huh?"
"Awwww, Puppy's not getting sleepy already is he?" Vamp Willow asked as she lapped the blood from Principal Wood's bleeding chest, "Mmmm once you go black…"
Principal Wood's coughing cut her off. She cooed and pet his head.
"Awww. Puppy's not feeling very good is he?" Vamp Willow asked, "He's not even fighting anymore. I love it when they fight though. It's so much more fun when they fight. My old puppy fought for a long time. He was so brave at first. He would snarl and roar and growl and fight back. But after a year he just started to lose his fight. I'll tell you a secret too."
Vamp Willow bent down by his ear.
"It was because of that nasty old human soul. If he didn't have it…mmmm he could have shown me things. The way Master talked about him….he was so evil and yummy. He could have taught me and Xander so much." Vamp Willow said sighing, "He could have taught us how to hunt, how to hurt, how to hear little kittens that try to sneak up on us."
Amanda froze in mid-stride when Vamp Willow said that. She jumped back when Vamp Willow turned to her.
"Oh wait. Master taught us those things already." Vamp Willow said leaping off of Principal Wood.
"Willow stop! You don't want to do this!" Amanda said, holding her pencil for dear life.
"Then why do I feel like I want to?" Vamp Willow laughed, regarding Amanda's pencil, "What are you going to do? Erase me?"
Willow stepped closer and Amanda's hand shot out, catching Vamp Willow in the chest with her pencil. Vamp Willow's face turned to horror and she gasped loudly, screaming before laughing and pulling the pencil out with a smile.
"You didn't get that in deep enough, retard." Vamp Willow said, "But my teeth go in deep. Wanna find out?"
Principal Wood tackled her from behind as hard as he could and Vamp Willow snarled. She pulled him off her back and growled. He spit in her face and punched her as hard as he could. Willow's head turned and she growled violently punching Robin. He fell like a sack of bricks. She snarled when she saw Amanda run out of the office.
"Now look what you did. I have to go catch my kitten. But that's okay. It'll just make her taster yummier." Vamp Willow said, exiting the office, "Stay. Stay. Good dog."
Vamp Willow easily began to catch up to Amanda, even with heels on. Amanda to her credit turned and delivered a kick to Vamp Willow's gut, just like Buffy and Faith had taught her. Still, it didn't slow her down that much. Which is why Amanda went for the fire extinguisher and bashed Vamp Willow in the head. Vamp Willow just roared in rage and kneed Amanda in the mid section before turning around, to get a good view of her neck. She licked it.
"Mmm. You ARE yummy." Vamp Willow smiled.
"Get away from her." Angel's voice boomed.
Vamp Willow's vampire features melted away before she turned and dropped Amanda.
"Puppy." She said in child-like glee, "You're alive."
Angel stood there, holding a cross out from him like a weapon.
"You touch her again and I'll have to kill you." Angel stated, holding his cross aloft like a shield.
Vamp Willow just smiled and walked towards him.
"I'd rather touch you. All over."
"I mean it Willow." Angel said bravely.
"Yeah, well, here's the thing puppy." Willow said as she walked up and knocked the cross from his hand, "I was Jewish."
Then she spasmed as Angel got her with the stun gun. The old cross fake out worked again. Vamp Willow roared in rage and stepped back and was ready to come at Angel again when a bright light opened in the hall. Angel shielded his eyes and stepped back. Vamp Willow just growled as she looked at the light.
"Okay all I have to do now is wipe the memories of anyone who saw us come in like this and we'll be….fine." standard issue Willow said, stepping out of the portal.
Vamp Willow smiled evilly.
"Hey. It's me. And I'm not pink and fuzzy anymore." Vamp Willow said, before looking over at Tara, "MMM yummy. I want."
"Is this the evil you?" Tara asked, "Okay that was a stupid question."
"Yeah….that's her. I thought we sent you back." Willow remembered.
"What can I say? I wanted another me to be naughty with." Vamp Willow reasoned, "And now I really want to be naughty."
"Uh…well…I don't know what to tell you." Willow replied to her doppelganger.
"Wild freaky sex that starts with me draining you sounds good."
"Sorry. I may have gone through some changes since we last saw each other," Willow began, "but not ready to go evil…again."
"Aww. But it's so fun." Vamp Willow said, lunging forward.
She was very disappointed when she stopped and floated in the air. Vamp Willow pouted while the real Willow just smiled.
"Like I said, I've gone through some changes." Willow said.
"Good timing you guys, though I'm wondering where Tara got her new wardrobe." Angel stated.
"Angel's here?" Tara asked.
"Human Angel. And yeah. Tara, check on Amanda over there. Angel, I need you to help me with Robin. We should get them to a hospital." Willow ordered.
"Was just about to suggest that." Angel replied, "There are ambulances outside. And squad cars, but I figure you can Wicca away any problems they have with us leaving the scene and coming back in."
"Stephen, can you—"
"Locate Buffy and the vampire Xander she spoke of on the phone and imprison him in the Crimson Bands of Cyttorrak? Yes, I already have." Dr. Strange replied.
"Wow. This guy's good." Angel replied.
"I'll begin to arrange for transport. The sooner we get to Buffy's house the sooner we can eliminate this problem." Dr. Strange stated.
And with that, Vamp Willow just sighed. She never got to have any fun.
Needless to say the large group teleporting into Buffy's living room was quite the shock for Kennedy and Xander. They both immediately did double takes when they saw the vampire Xander and Willow.
"Is that—" Xander began.
"Yes." Buffy interrupted, "Wills go put them in the basement. Bind them there or something."
"Oh man, is it ever good to be home. Even if this isn't home" Angel said, plopping down into a chair.
"What's Dead Boy doing here?" Xander asked.
"Dead Bo…Angel is here because of the same wacky nuttiness that brought those two here." Buffy sighed.
"Wow. Dead Boy. I haven't heard that in forever." Angel mused.
"I guess since he's here things have taken a turn for the shitty huh?" Kennedy asked, pointing at Dr. Strange.
Buffy nodded.
"Apparently we have dimensions bleeding into each other and so on and so forth. Hence the Bizarro Scoobies." Buffy replied.
"That may explain the revenge of the Buffy-Bot. We kind of had a little run in with your titanium twin here. I axed her." Xander explained proudly.
"At least you didn't totally destroy it. That could get ugly for our universe and…why isn't Mary tied up in the chair?" Buffy asked.
"Oh. That. Well she kinda broke loose on her own when the Buffy-Bot came charging in here and helped us take care of it." Xander smiled to hide his overwhelming fear.
"Where is she now?" Buffy demanded.
"Well, she, Spike, and Dawn are kind of upstairs listening to music." Xander replied.
Then he could swear he saw Buffy outrun the Flash as she went up the stairs.
"-kind of prefer the Sex Pistols myself, but yeah, Billy Idol's good. Swiped my look." Spike stated as Buffy exploded into the room.
The look they gave her was basically the look that kids give when their mom catches them smoking, or drinking as it were. Spike and Mary were sitting there, still a little burned from earlier with shot glasses, a pitcher of blood, and a bottle of Castillo Gold brand rum. Dawn was also there, holding a bag of ice on her nose as she was getting ready to take a shot.
"What the hell is going on?" Buffy asked.
Spike just stared at her, before looking at Mary and Dawn.
"And don't let me ever catch you getting into my drinks again." Spike said, with hopes of sleeping with Buffy in the near future.
"Don't even, Spike. Boy you just keep pushing it." Buffy growled.
"Chill out Buffy. If she didn't get a drink here she'd get it somewhere else. It's what kids do." Mary said as she took Dawn's shot and downed it.
"Shut the hell up. If I wanted what appears to be the opinion of the revenge of Faith, I would have asked for it. Right now I'm thinking of throwing you both in the basement with my other blood drinking houseguests and hoping you rip each other all to Hell." Buffy said to them before turning to Dawn, "And broken nose or not you are in SO much trouble. I turn my back for five seconds and you're drinking. Lose the booze and get downstairs, all of you because we've got trouble on a level you would not believe."
"What's going on?" Spike asked.
"Oh nothing, the universe is about to come unraveled because of the Hellmouth." Buffy replied.
"What's causing it?" Dawn questioned.
"Funny you should ask." Buffy replied, "You are."
Mary looked at Dawn and Spike's shocked looks. She the grabbed the bottle of rum.
"Here Bit. You're gonna need the whole bottle."