"How can something so wrong feel so right all along?"
Catch Me I'm Fallin' by Toni Gonzaga
"Wow, I haven't been to your place for like ever!" Miley said as she stepped into Alex's house. They dropped their backpacks next to the door and threw their jackets on the couch, like they've always had since they were little. Alex laughed as they made their way upstairs into her room. "Hey, does your brother still have that creepy crush on me?" Miley giggled as they passed by Max's room. Alex rolled her eyes.
"Shhh, don't make a sound. He'll leave us alone if he doesn't know that you're here." She whispered, and they quietly walked into Alex's bedroom. Miley giggled again and followed Alex into her mess of a room. "Okay, welcome back to Alex's amazing room!" Alex said, throwing her hands up in the air like she was presenting the world's greatest thing. Miley laughed and stepped over the many items lying around on Alex's floor.
"I see that you haven't cleaned your room yet." Miley said, finally sitting down on Alex's bed.
"Yeah, like I would clean." Alex scoffed. Miley laughed and looked around the room.
"So should we start our homework now?" she asked, looking back at Alex. Alex gave Miley a look.
"When you say we, you mean you right?" Alex asked. Miley laughed.
"Yes, I mean me."
"Then be my guest." Miley laughed again and got up, trying to maneuver around Alex's room. "Having trouble finding the door?" Alex asked, laughing a little as she watched Miley trip seven times already.
"No, but I can't find your floor." Miley answered back. She tripped again, landing hard on a mountain of Alex's clothes. She and Alex ended up laughing as Miley tried to stand up again. Her laughter ended when something familiar caught her eye. Miley bent down in front of it and picked it up. She raised an eyebrow with confusion. "What's Nate's jacket doing here?" she asked, looking at Alex. Alex bit her lip as she stared blankly at Miley and the black leather jacket in her hands. She felt like her heart was going overdrive and that her body was incapable of moving. Alex shook her nervousness away quickly, trying to find another answer to this.
Dammit! Why didn't you give the freaking jacket back to him?! Alex mentally screamed. She frowned, realizing that the only reason why she didn't give it back to Nate was because she wanted a piece of him all to herself. Miley had all the pictures, all the jewelry, and all the flowers. Alex just wanted Nate's simple black leather jacket just to remind herself that she belongs to Nate as well, that he's hers too. Alex wanted to punch herself for being so selfish.
"It's, umm, sitting there." Alex said matter-of-factly, trying to sound innocent. Miley gave Alex a weird look. She looked back at the jacket, looking hurt and so confused. Alex bit her lip even harder. So much guilt was entering inside of her that she actually wanted to tell Miley the truth. She shook that feeling away from her though, knowing what a big mistake that would have been. "I stole it from Nate's locker one day. He was pissing me off so I decided to take his stupid little jacket." Alex said, rolling her eyes. Miley's sad look wore off, and she gave Alex the look that she always gave her when it came to playing pranks Nate.
"Oh, that figures. I'll just give it back to him." Miley said, folding the jacket in her arms. Alex wanted to protest, tell Miley no. She didn't want her to take the last remaining thing - the only thing – that she has from Nate. Alex watched Miley as she continued to walk toward the door, Nate's jacket in her hands. What could Alex say when there was nothing to say? Alex sighed and hugged her knees, knowing that she had to let Miley win again.
Alex felt embarrassed for a moment. Why would be so devastated over losing a jacket? She sighed, knowing that it was something more. Losing that jacket was like the same thing as a woman losing her husband to Alex. It was one of the few signs that Nate had feelings for her. Nate gave her that jacket because he cared, because he wanted Alex to be safe. He would have immediately asked for the jacket back if he didn't care about Alex. But he didn't. It was like Nate wanted Alex to remember him whenever she needed a sweater. He wanted her to remember him when she was cold, knowing that he could provide that warmth for her.
Alex sighed, knowing that at least Nate cares for her a little even without the jacket. She was the only one who got to hear part of his songs, and that was a huge privilege for anyone. His music was another sign. It was his way of expression, like a diary. It was like Nate just allowed Alex to read his diary. A smile hopped onto Alex's face, realizing that Nate trusted her. And that he really did like her.
Her smile wore off as Miley returned with both their backpacks. "Okay, time to do our homework!" she cheered, pretending to be enthusiastic. Alex groaned and buried her face into the blankets of her bed. Miley's phone began to ring. Her face illuminated as she read the caller ID. "Oh, it's Natey. This will be quick." She said, stepping outside of the room.
Alex grimaced. Natey. Miley's pet name for Nate. Alex thought that she was used to the stupid nickname since Miley would almost always call Nate 'Natey', but now it just felt different. It was more annoying, more aggravating, more hurtful. Alex nuzzled her nose into the cloth of her sleeve, thinking – knowing – that Miley and Nate's relationship was stronger, better, amazing. They were Niley, Nate and Miley. And they were better than Nalex.
Alex knew what she had to do. She's never felt so much adrenaline, so much determination in her life. She wanted to beat Miley and keep Nate all to herself. The guilt wore off and was quickly replaced by jealousy. Alex wanted Nate, she loved Nate. And no one was going to stand in her way for him.
Not even her only best friend.
OMJ
"Hey, Nate, Miley." Alex said as she walked up to her best friend and her boyfriend. She leaned against the lockers as she stared at the two innocently, smiling perfectly, and looking beautiful as usual. Nate's breath hitched in his throat as he looked at her. It was like she was doing this on purpose. She was seducing him in the most innocent way possible.
Miley knew there was something different from the way Alex arrived. She smiled at Alex quickly before turning back to her locker to get her books, thinking deeply about what just happened. The way Alex greeted them. Nate then Miley. Miley couldn't help but think about something as little as that. Miley knew that Alex never even acknowledged Nate unless it was in some form of insult. Now she's putting Nate's name before her own?
Miley stared at Nate, instantly noticing his turned-on look. She looked at him, confused. Nate was a gentleman, a good person with morals, a teenage boy who knew how to control his hormones. Miley grew even more confused once she realized that Nate wasn't even looking at her, his girlfriend. Instead he was staring at Alex, his mouth hanging open slightly, and his eyes never leaving her. Miley's eyes widened as she looked at Nate and Alex, back and forth. She knew for sure that something was different.
Alex smirked at her victory. Nate was paying attention to her, his eyes were glued to her, he even seemed like he's never even heard of the name Miley Stewart. She then realized the alarmed but puzzled look on Miley's face. Alex grew a little worried, knowing that Miley would start throwing accusing questions at one of them anytime soon. Alex knew that she needed to start a fight with Nate soon or else Miley would suspect something. She wanted to win Nate, but she didn't want to make it that she was the reason for the Niley breakup. She wanted to just simply prove to Miley that Alex Russo is still number one at everything and everyone.
"So, Nate did your mom pick out your clothes today or was it your grandma?" Alex asked, faking an enthusiastic voice. Nate snapped out of his teenage boy dreamland and glared at Alex.
"A matter of fact, my mom did pick my clothes today and she did a whole lot better than you did." Nate retorted, smirking at her. Alex narrowed her eyes at him then looked back at Miley. She smiled a little once she saw the relieved look on Miley's face.
"For once in my life, I'm so glad that you two are arguing." Miley muttered under her breath as she closed her locker. Nate frowned, hearing everything that she whispered. The stupid guilt was back, biting him in the ass again. Nate had the urge to kiss Miley right there, remind her that he still loves her. But Alex was here also, and he loves her too. How could he love both of them without hurting the other?
Ugh. Shane was right. Loving two girls is really hard. Nate thought as the three began to walk to their homerooms.
"Bye, Nate." Alex and Miley said simultaneously as they were about to turn. Miley gave Alex another confused look while Alex just kept her eyes on Nate, smiling brightly at him. Nate awkwardly smiled back at both of them, waving slightly as he began to run towards his class.
"Alex, I need a word." Miley said as she grabbed Alex's wrist and dragged her to the bathroom. Alex bit her lip, knowing that she made things a little too obvious. She mentally kicked herself for having lack of self-control. She blamed Nate for being too cute.
"Yes?" Alex asked as they stepped into the empty bathroom. The two girls looked in the mirror, seeing each other from their reflections. Alex fixed her hair, looking normal, pretending as if she did nothing wrong. Miley sighed and let her bangs fall to her eyes as she looked down.
"You and Nate are…getting a little…friendly." She said, but it was like a question, like a hint of fear in her voice. Alex wanted to rub it in Miley's face, gloat that she won and that she deserved Nate. But this was her best friend. If it was another straight A, goody-goody, innocent fifteen-year-old girl then Alex would have definitely laughed in her face, acting obnoxious and victorious.
"Is that a bad thing?" Alex asked, pretending to sound shocked. Miley opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't dare to answer. She didn't know what the answer even was. "I mean, you're always complaining about how me and Nate are enemies. Maybe I'm just attempting to be nice to him, so I wouldn't have to annoy you. 'Cause honestly, I'm starting to feel really bad that Nate and I piss you off with our fights." Miley felt like she was shrinking in size as Alex's words ran through her ears. All the pros and cons to this new nicer Alex and Nate were jumbling around her brain, and she didn't know what to look at.
Of course if Alex and Nate were friends then Miley would live an easier life. No more hearing insults and comebacks being fired after each other every five seconds, no more kicking the hallways, and more importantly, she wouldn't be caught up in the middle. She wouldn't need to take sides between Nate and Alex and feeling bad when the other was mad because she didn't agree with him or her.
Then there were the bad things. Nate and Alex could be something more. Miley thanked God everyday that Nate was hers. She knew that if Nate and Alex didn't hate each other, they would have been going out for a long time. They're almost exactly alike that it was scary. Sometimes when Alex would say something, Miley would think that it was Nate talking to her, just in a high pitch and obnoxious voice. Or when Nate was doing something, Miley could seriously imagine Alex doing the same thing. She could see Alex in Nate and Nate in Alex. She knew that they were meant for each other.
And that's what scared her the most.
"Miley?" Alex whispered, getting worried about the sad look on Miley's face. Miley snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Alex, trying to look cheerful and happy as she always does. Alex bit her lip, knowing that she couldn't do this to her best friend. But she just had to. It was like Nate went from number a million to priorities list to number one, replacing Miley's place. "I don't have to be nice to Nate if you don't want me to." Alex blurted out. Miley's face lit up again, true joy showering over her face. She then relaxed herself, trying to look normal and laidback.
"Uh…I think we should go back to homeroom. You know how much our teacher hates it when we miss the morning announcements." Miley said, not answering to Alex's offer. Alex nodded her head and suppressed a sigh, knowing that Miley did want her to stop being kind to Nate though.
The two girls walked back to their homerooms. They had two options being thrown at them.
Should I let Alex be friends with Nate or still enemies?
Should I betray Miley but still get to love Nate or be a true friend and stay loyal Miley but love Nate without him even knowing anymore?
OMJ
"Hey," Shane greeted Nate as he walked through the front door. Nate nodded his head in response. Then Alex followed behind him, looking more comfortable than she did last time she entered the Gray house. Shane smirked and shook his head. Nate glared at him.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing." Shane said, shrugging. "Anyways, you guys have some 'project' to do upstairs in Nate's room." Alex gave Shane a confused look while Nate steamed up.
"Come on, Alex." Nate muttered, grabbing her arm and leading her upstairs to his room. Nate sighed once the door was closed and the knob was locked. He walked towards his bed and laid down on it, his face looking miserable and uneasy. Alex made her way and sat next to Nate, not knowing what to do. She couldn't handle the depressed look on his face. That fact that she's the one who's causing him to feel like this. Alex placed a hand on top of his, looking at him warmly.
"Sorry." She mumbled, looking so apologetically into his eyes.
"You didn't do anything." Nate muttered back, turning his head to meet the other direction.
"Really? Because it seems like I did do something." Nate just stared at the opposite side, not meeting his eyes with Alex. Alex sighed and released her hands from his, standing up.
"I guess I should go home then…" she whispered, picking up her backpack. Nate immediately stood up, beating her to the door.
"No, don't go." He said, almost sounding as if he was begging. He placed his hands on Alex's shoulders, giving her an earnest look. "I'm just so confused and…guilty all the time. This whole thing is eating me alive, and I don't think that I could take it anymore." Nate said. Alex looked down, her stomach dropping, her heart beating slower, and tears coming close to her eyes.
I should have known. She thought.
"So you want to stop?" Alex asked, her voice almost sounding like a cry. Nate's eyes widened.
"What? Why? I love you!" Alex instantly looked up at Nate, shocked. Nate closed his mouth quickly, regretting what he said. The two stared at each other, dumbfounded. "I-I uh, mean, that I-" Alex didn't let Nate finish.
"I love you too." She said, smiling at him. Nate froze. He felt like angels from heaven above just told him the greatest news ever. Alex pulled him in and kissed him as passionately as she has ever done. Nate smiled into the kiss and placed his hands on her hips, adding more lust into it. Alex pulled away to the point where Nate was desperately begging her for entrance. Nate looked at her, surprised once again.
"Why did we stop? Did I do something?" Nate asked. Alex turned red, feeling embarrassed. She didn't want to tell Nate that something as simple as a peck on the lips was all she's gone through with any boy, let alone, anyone else that goes to their school.
"No, you didn't do anything wrong." Alex said.
"Then why-"
"Hey, you said that you wanted to see my art right?" Alex blurted out. Nate looked like he completely forgotten their subject. His eyes glossed as Alex said those words and a smile formed on his lips. He nodded his head, looking eager. "Well why don't I show you right now? I mean, it's not like I was actually going to do my homework anyways." Alex said. She took Nate's hand and they walked downstairs
"Hey, Nate and Miley…wait…Alex?" Jason said as he stared at the intertwined hands in front of very own eyes. Nate and Alex looked at themselves and quickly pulled their hands away. "Oh sorry…I thought you were Miley." Jason said. He gave Nate a disappointed look before he continued to strum his guitar. "You know, Nate, Miley's my favorite girl that you've ever dated." Jason added, sounding more cold and bold. Alex looked down, thinking that Shane and Jason hated her. They loved Miley. Miley was the perfect girlfriend. Alex was just the other woman, the secret lover, the dessert behind the dinner, the home wrecker. She wished that they thought of her as Nate's enemy again instead of…all of those other things.
"Well she does sort of look like Miley, doesn't she?" Nate quickly said as he noticed the hurt look on Alex's face. Alex walked right through the front door, not daring to stop. Nate sighed and sent a quick glare at Jason before running after Alex. He grabbed her arm to stop her. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked.
"You're brothers hate me, don't they?" Alex said, her voice trembling.
"I don't know. And if they did, they wouldn't have a reason to." Nate said. Alex sighed, pushing back the unwanted tears that were about to fall down.
"Come on, let's go to my place." She said, pulling away from Nate's grasp. She led the way back to her house, not uttering a single word or making eye-contact with Nate the whole way there.
As the two entered the house, Nate met Alex's younger brother, Max. "Hey, Maxi." Alex said, ruffling his hair as she set her backpack down in front of the coat hanger. "This is…Nate." Alex said, sounding worried and frightened as she introduced him. Max turned his attention from the television and looked at Nate.
"He's Miley's boyfriend who you're secretly dating right?" Max asked, looking at him. Nate raised his eyebrows as fury rose up in Alex.
"You read my diary again?!" she yelled, running after him. Max got up and started sprinting around the house, trying to dodge Alex as much as possible. "You little-"
"Justin!" Max yelped, hiding behind his older brother. Alex halted abruptly in front of Justin, trying to reach out for Max behind him.
"What the heck are you guys doing?" Justin asked as Max and Alex circled around him.
"The twerp read my diary!" Alex yelled.
"I just wanted to see if you had anything about Miley in there!" Max yelled back.
"Stop your stupid little crush on her because she has a boyfriend!"
"Yeah, he's Miley's boyfriend but that doesn't stop you from-"
Alex jumped around Justin and tackled Max to the floor, clasping a hand on his mouth before he could go on. "Alex?" Nate asked, looking awkward. The Russo children looked at Nate, completely forgetting that he was even there. "Uh, you wanted to show me your art." He said, reminding Alex why he was even there in the first place. "But if this is the wrong time I could come back next time."
"No!" Alex said, pushing Max away. She made her way towards Nate and panted slightly. "I'm done. Come on. Let me show you my room." Alex led the way upstairs into her room with Nate trailing behind her. She forced the door open with her all of her strength until it swung all the way open. Nate looked around Alex's room, surprised that a girl like her could be so messy. "Yeah, sorry, I don't clean my room." Alex laughed when she saw Nate's reaction. Nate smiled back at her.
"I think you beat Shane for most messiest room." He said as he stepped inside, trying to dodge any objects. He had to jump to Alex's bed to keep him from tripping. Alex laughed as she just simply stepped over her stuff as if they weren't even there. Nate patted the space besides him on Alex's bed and Alex sat there. "So your art?" he asked, imitating Alex's words from the other day. Alex smiled at him. She turned around and laid on her stomach, fishing out for something on the other side of the bed. She quickly pulled out a sketchpad.
"It's nothing really." Alex said as she handed it to Nate. Nate took it and slowly pulled it out to the first page. His eyes widened, and he gasped. He stared at the lifelike images Alex had drawn and painted. They were so real and so beautiful. Nate turned from every page, taking in every single drawn-to-life art Alex created with just with her hands.
"It's nothing? This is amazing, Alex!" Nate exclaimed. He smiled at her. "You're really good." He said softly, looking at her sincerely. Alex blushed, feeling butterflies inside of her stomach again. Nate turned to the last page and his smile wore off. He looked serious as he stared at this page. It was a picture of Alex and Miley (though it looked like it could have been a photograph) hugging each other and laughing. Nate wanted this picture. He didn't know why, but he really wanted it. The way how Alex and Miley looked both so happy, so giggly, so loving. He just wanted to see that everyday.
"That's my favorite one." Alex whispered as she played around with her hair, twirling it awkwardly.
"Can I…have it?" Nate asked. Alex stared at him, puzzled. "I mean…it's just so…beautiful." Nate stared back at the picture, mesmerized. "You're so beautiful." He whispered, talking to both Miley and Alex. Alex blushed again, making her smile. Nate dropped the sketchpad and looked at Alex. "Really beautiful." He said, looking so amazed and sounding so sincere. He felt like some strange feeling came upon him. He just wanted to kiss Alex right here, right now. He could care less that the door was wide open and that Alex's brothers are downstairs or the fact that he's cheating on his girlfriend with her best friend. Nate pushed all of those feelings to the side and pulled Alex into a spontaneous kiss, expressing all of his love for her.
Alex surprised herself when she allowed Nate to kiss her like that. She closed her eyes, taking in the moment. This was the first time she's ever made out with anyone. Nate kissed her hungrily, just trying his best to make her happy. Anyways, that's what he wanted. To make Alex happy…to make Miley happy.
Alex squirmed a little as they kissed. Now Nate knew why she didn't want to make out with him earlier. She didn't even know how. She was kissing him tenderly but feeling so cautious, timid, and inexperienced. Though by the way Alex was kissing him back right now, Nate could have been fooled.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Justin yelled as he walked through into Alex's room. Nate quickly pulled away, looking worriedly at Alex's older brother. Alex didn't dare to make eye contact with Justin. She just looked down at her bed and touched her lips, feeling a tremendous amount of wonder but guilt like none other before. "You, out." Justin said sternly at Nate, pointing out of the door. Nate nodded his head and ran as fast as he could out of the house. "And for you," he said, staring at Alex. Alex still looked unfazed, her fingers slightly touching her lips. "I can't believe that you would do this. I mean, he's your best friend's boyfriend!" Alex glared at Justin, furrowing her eyebrows at him.
"I love him, and he loves me." She stated, sounding so confident. "And you can't change that." She continued, standing up so that she was facing him. "You can't do anything about this. This isn't even your business actually!"
"Yes it is! If it concerns you then it concerns me. What you're doing is wrong, Alex. W-R-O-N-G wrong! You can't do this to Miley." Alex tried not to show any signs of guilt. She needed to be strong and tough. "And so what if you love him? What about Miley?"
"He just…happens to…love Miley too." Alex forced out. She felt like a hole burned through her throat as she finished her sentence. "Why would you care, huh?! Just go away and pretend like you don't even know anything! None of this concerns you!" Alex screamed at him, feeling rage. She attempted to shove Justin out of the door, but he held onto the doorframe tightly.
"Alex, what you're doing is wrong, and you'll regret it!" Justin said as he couldn't hold onto the doorframe any longer. Alex kicked him out and slammed the door on his face. "Don't say that I told you so when Miley finds out!" Justin yelled from behind the door. She heard him sigh in frustration before walking away. Alex frowned and slid down her door, trying not to cry again. She hugged her stomach as she stared into the open space, taking slow breaths to stop her from tearing. She stared at her drawing of her and Miley that Nate adored. Alex bit her lip, not knowing if she could control her tears any longer.
Alex knew that she and Miley would never look as happy like that anymore.
A/N: And the drama begins! I can't believe that I went through five chapters with barely any drama! Ah! That's so weird for me! lol. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! It took me at least forever to update since my uncle got my laptop fixed! And guess what - Fanfiction is safe on my internet again!