I'm Just me.

I kept replaying the moment in my head. He kissed her! They then had the cheek to hold hands. So what? Were they a couple now? Did they just think I would magically disappear from their lives? Well they could have their wish, I was never going to speak to them again. As far as I was concerned, I hadn't never known them ; they had never been a part of my life before. Dirt was worth more to me than they were. I didn't care anymore. But if I didn't care, why was I sitting asking myself these questions? Why did I waste precious time, moaning about what they had done to me? Why? Because I did care.

School was hard. Everywhere I went they were there, holding hands! I couldn't look at them because I knew the tears would come. I think what angered me most was, they never even tried to apologize. Not that I would accept it but still, they could of tried.

The worse class of the day came, chemistry. Oliver was my lab partner. I hoped and prayed that today we would be doing a test. A nice, quiet, sit by ourselves in silence test. No, experiment day. We got our assignment and were meant to beging working. Neither of us moved or said a word. Desperately, this class to be over. Our teacher, Miss McArthur, came over to us.
"I don't see any work being done, is there a reason?" she said in her calm but angry teacher voice. At first neither of us spoke.
"Yeah," I replied eventually, "Beacuse Oliver is a cheating, backstabbing freak who hates me so much desides to date my best friend before he even dumped me!"
The class fell silent. I hadn't realised the volume of my voice. Everyone stared at me.
"Miss Truscott, I think you should take a visit to the principals office," Miss McAurthur balled. I hesitated. "Now!" she yelled.
Reluctantly, I turned around and headed for the door. I turned around to have one last climse of the class and there he was, smirking. I blew up. I walked over to Oliver and slapped him. Any punishment was worth doing that.

3 weeks of lunchtime and after school detention. My mom would kill me but at least it meant seeing less of Miley and Oliver. That, I was pleased about. I couldn't stand seeing them every lunchtime, kissing and holding hands and just generally being in love. The thought sickened me, imagine the sight! I had a few other friends in my year, after my 3 weeks of detention were up, i could sit with them, turning my back to the gruesome twosome who used to be my best friends.

As I came home from school I was greeted by my mom.
"I had a phone call from your school today..." she moaned "I know," I replied, rudely "Lilly, I'm not happy."
"You never are," I dumped my stuff onto the couch and ran upstairs. I heard her shouting after me but I didn't care about her, or anyone.

Last year, my dad installed a lock to my room door so I could have some privacy. This was the perfect time to use it. I locked door and turned about my music full blast. Through the loud music I could slightly hear my mom banging on my door. Like that would have made me come out.

Songs played, some sad, some happy. And then a song by radio head came on : the one Oliver and I danced to at my party. I started to cry. I remembered the feeling of my head resting on his shoulder as we dance. I remember lying on my bed, in love. Why was I being so selfish? This wasn't my mom's fault. This was Oliver's. Why was I being cheeky to her and ignoring her when she hasn't done anything? I paused my music.

"Lilly, sweetheart, please listen to me," my mom said, quietly through the door.
I went to the door.
"Lilly. The school told me you called Oliver a cheating freak. What has he done?" she asked At first, I said nothing.
"Lilly, please talk to me."

I opened the door to let her in. Seeing that I had been crying she hugged me.
"He was kissing Miley, mom," I said through my tears, " Miley my best friend"
"Ohhh, sweetiee."
"And the worse thing is, he didn't even apologize. They're now dating."
Surprised, my mom could not answer.
"Have you spoke to him at all yet?" finally coming up with that.
"Apart from in the Science lab, no." I answered, "He hasn't even tried."
"Why didn't you talk to him?"
"I was too scared."
"What makes you think he isn't just as scared to talk to you?"

I attempted to smile. My mom kissed my forehead and walked out my room. I reached over to my music played and put the radio head song back on. I imagined back to my party again. I was happy. He made me happy. I remembered how it was like to kiss him. His soft lips gently touching mine. I, Lilly Truscott, was in love with Oliver Oken, no matter what. Was I really just going to give up on him now; forget about him? I had to at least find out if he loved me or not. I deserved that much. It was time to give Oliver a little visit.

I approached his house, he only lived two doors down. I slowly made my way up his garden path, taking on step at a time. I was scared and I didn't know why. I had known Oliver forever, it wasn't like he was going to eat me. I step infront of his door. What was wrong with me? It was only Oliver. My hand reached out to the door bell. Nope. I had to talk to him, maybe just not now. I returned home, annoyed with myself, why was I such a coward? Chemistry, first thing tomorrow. No way was I chickening out.

"Ok class, no funny business today," Miss McArthur said the next day, "Hear me Truscott?"
"Yes," I moaned "Good, now I'm leaving you to continue from yesterday."

Once again, neither of us moved. I finally broke the silence. "Oliver?" I asked "Yeah?" he looked up "Why?"
He looked down. I shook my head.
"Lilly," he said quietly "I know what I done was wrong but-"
"Oliver" I said hastely, "Do you want to know what hurt me most?"
He looked up looking me directly in the eyes. I looked back into his dark eyes of confusion.
"You haven't even said sorry yet-"
"Did I forget to mention you will have to stay meet with your partner here to finish the assignment this lunch time," Miss McArthur interupted I raised my hand, "Miss, I have lunch detention."
"Well you'll have to do it in your own time then wont you."
I heard Oliver sigh. Cheek! I turned around to him planning to say something rude and nasty but instead I said calmly, "My house around six? We need to talk anyway."
He nodded.

6 o'clock that night, I got ready. Nothing to fancy but nothing scabby either. The door bell rang. I found myself racing to the door, part of me wanted this night so badly. I opened the door and there he stood. I didn't even receive a Hi ; maybe it wasn't going to be as easy as i thought it would be. He followed me to my room. We both sat on my bed. I reached for my bad, getting out the work we need for our assignment.
"You never answered my question, " I said, breaking the silence.
"What question," he answered.
"Why?" He didn't answer me. "Why?!?!" I said raising my voice little.
"I don't know!" he said almost yelling. He stood up. "Lilly, I don't know, ok?"
"You didn't just do it because you felt like it did you? It's not a usual thing for a person to do," I said, also standing up. Tears formed in my eyes. "Three months ago you lay on that bed and told me if you were to have any girl in the world you would have me. What changed? Did I change? Did you?." I burst into tears.
"I, I, I..." "Oliver, why aren't you giving me a straight answer? Please, surely I deserve it."
He went silent. I was seriously getting annoyed. I sat back on the bed.
"Why was I so stupid?" I said weakly, "Of course you wouldn't pick me, I'm just me. I'm not internal super star Hannah Montana or super pretty and smart Miley Stewart. I'm just me."
"Lilly-"
"You told me you loved me! I loved you, I still do but you don't. You love Miley." I said angrily, "Miley Stewart who always got everything and now she even gets the guy..." I shook my head.
"Lilly!" he said, almost shouting, "Don't say that"
"It's true," I yelled.
He never spoke "Do you love her?" I asked.
"What does love matter?" he replied looking deeply into my eyes.

My jaw almost fell to the ground. What does love matter? "Oliver, why are you acting like I've hurt you."
"I never said you did."
"You're implying it!"
"All I'm saying is we're 16, who falls in love now?"
"Do you regret falling in love with me? is that it?"
"No!"
"You're not making any sense!" I was fuming mad.
"Nothing does...."
He started to walk out my room leaving my angry and extremely confused. He got to the door and hesitsted, turning around. He began walking towards me. I stood up unsure what he was planning to do. He suddenly begins to kiss me. For one short moment I kiss him back but then snap back into reality. My first reaction was to slap him. "You said you loved me!" he said, surprised.
"So did you, but if you couldn't take a risk for love, why should I?" I replied bitterly. His eyes were still as confused and filled with pain. He had no answer.

He turned around once again, ready to leave.
"Why?" I asked He shrugged his shoulders and left.

I sat down on my bed. What had just happened? I was so confused. Did he still love me? or did he love Miley? I was desperate for answers and Oliver was not giving me any? Miley was my only option.
I rang her doorbell to have her dad greet me.
"Lilly!" he beamed, "Miley's up in her room"
I ran upstairs and knocked her door before entering.
"Lilly!" Miley said shocked. She jumped up off her bed.
"Miley, please help me," I pleaded, " I just want answers." I started crying, again.
"I'm sorry, truely."
"Ok but Why? Why did you do it?"
"Because..." she hesitated, "Because I fell in love with him"
In my mind, I had a flashback for my previous conversation with Oliver.
*""Do you love her?" I asked.
"What does love matter?" he replied*
Miley loved Oliver, she had admitted it but Oliver didn't love her back. "Lilly?" she asked, taking me out of my day dream, "I really love him and I think he loves me back."
"So did I..." I said quietly.
"I'm sorry Lilly, please open your eyes to the truth. "

Was she being stupid? She stole my boyfriend, knowing he was my life. He had practically told me he didn't love her and she was telling me to open my eyes? I had two options, tell her he didn't love her or leave them be, let them suffer.

"Ok Miley," I said, "Ok" Miley smiled. "Our true love will always find us somehow and yours will come soon Lilly, I promise," she told me, pleased with herself.
Inside I knew she was right, our true love will always finds us but mine already came, she just stole him from me.
"Are you still angry?" she asked "No," I replied, "Just fed up. Fed up from being second best. Miley, you get everything you want, and now you get the guy. Ok, I'm jealous, I'm sorry, I always have been. You're the one everyone loves, and now Oliver loves you. Miley, he loved me, then he opened his eyes and there's me again, second best. Now I'm just fed up."
Quickly I turned and ran out of her room. I didn't want to hear Miley pathetic way of telling how what I said wasn't true. Of course It was true. She was Miley Stewart and I was just me.