Annie's POV

Every day was the same. I had been in the hospital for over one week and yet nothing seemed to be different. The days blurred together, the ticking clock echoed in my head. Wake up. Eat breakfast. Therapy. Lunch. Group activities. More therapy. Eat Dinner. Go to Sleep. Repeat.

I hated that I was there. I hated that I had to keep retelling my story and reliving those memories. I hated that people kept trying to help me when I knew that they couldn't because I was mad. I hated staring at the same blue walls and eating the same horrible meals. I hated that my parents were dead and I was not. I hated Finnick Odair. But most of all, I hated that I didn't really hate Finnick, despite everything that had happened.

It was strange, that I found talking about my parents' deaths easier than talking about Finnick. I supposed it was because it was my fault that I let Finnick in and that I trusted him and believed that maybe he would like me. Because why would someone like Finnick want someone like me, who was broken beyond repair? He had made me forget for a while, the terrible thoughts that constantly screamed through my mind, and had given me hope that maybe things would get better. He was charming but sweet, so full of energy and full of life, and he made me enjoy being alive too.

But I knew it was too good to be true. When I turned into his street that day, I saw him walking some blonde girl towards a limousine. He was smiling and laughing, and she leant up and whispered something in his ear to which he winked in reply. It felt like everything was going dark around me as I watched him help her into the back of the vehicle. To make it worse, he still had my string bracelet around his wrist.

It was too much. Like I had feared, his betrayal was too much for me to handle. I couldn't take the nightmares and the flashbacks and the thoughts running through my head anymore, and it made me sick to think that I had come to depend on Finnick so much. Since my parent's deaths I had tried not to need anyone, because they would all leave in the end. But I had opened up to Finnick and it turned out to be a terrible mistake. I was so full of self loathing and despair and finally it was just all too much. The last thing I remember before I passed out from the pain was my aunt running into my bedroom screaming at the blood streaming from my wrists.

Now I was stuck in a place where everything was the same, day in day out. Listening to other patients tell their stories, trying to concentrate while psychologists asked me how I was feeling, taking the medication they handed to me in little plastic cups and trying not to think about Finnick. Honestly, the monotony of each day was making me feel even madder than before.

It was time for my session with Dr Aurelius, and I slowly walked down the hall to his office, dreading the appointment.

"Annie." Dr Aurelius greeted me with a smile. "Come on in."

I took a seat in the armchair opposite him, and looked at him for a moment. I suddenly realised how tired I was. Tired of speaking about myself, tired of bringing up all those memories again.

"Would you like to keep talking about your relationship with Finnick today?" he asked gently.

I sighed. No, of course I didn't. But Dr Aurelius thought it was key to my current situation, and I supposed that was true. To be honest, I was angry at myself for letting Finnick be the person to bring me undone. I had survived for so long already, held on despite how much I desperately wanted to be with my parents again, but I kept going. In the end, it was seeing Finnick Odair with another girl that made me snap. It made me realise how unimportant I was to the world, how meaningless everything was. My parents were gone, and there was no one else to truly love me.

"Okay." I answered.

"I get the impression that you still like Finnick, despite seeing him with another girl." Dr Aurelius observed.

"I guess I do." I said, biting my lip. "He hurt me, really bad, but up until then he made me the happiest I had been for a long time. Do you think I should forgive him?"

"That's up to you, Annie." Dr Aurelius told me. "You have to decide whether Finnick would have a positive impact on your recovery, or if you need to have a fresh start."

A fresh start? I could leave this place and forget all about Finnick and that blonde girl. Maybe the only person I needed to get through this was myself, because I didn't need to depend some guy to make me feel less broken. I didn't need Finnick to try and make me better, I could only do that on my own. At the same time however, my relationship with Finnick was something that kept me going, one good thing in amongst all the bad.

"I need to do some more thinking." I said.

I returned to my room confused and disheartened. Of course I was still angry at Finnick and it was only making me feel worse about myself to miss him. But no matter what, the truth was that I really, truly did miss him.

I was late to dinner, I knew that, but I couldn't bring myself to move off of my bed.

"Annie?" A gentle voice said. It was my nurse, Octavia. "Are you coming to dinner?"

"Soon." I said softly, but I didn't move.

Octavia gave me a sad smile and crossed to me, coming to sit down at the end of the bed. "How are you doing, honey?"

"Not good today." I said.

"Why is that?"

"I was supposed to go to the Christmas Ball with Finnick tonight." I said sadly.

It was strange. A Christmas Ball had never been an event I wanted to attend, but the fact that Finnick had asked me to join him in his world made me feel as though he really did want me, and that was a wonderful feeling.

"Ah." Octavia sighed. "Don't worry Cinderella. You'll get your ball one day- and with a prince, not a toad."

I laughed. Finnick was far from a toad, but it was funny all the same. "Thanks, Octavia."

"Now come and get something to eat, Annie." Octavia gave me a comforting smile.

Sighing, I followed Octavia out into the dinning hall. All the patients on the ward ate together, but I hardly spoke to anyone as I sipped slowly on my soup. Instead, I imagined I was by the ocean with my parents once again. It was nice while it lasted.

At eight o'clock I got into bed. Even though it was ridiculously early, sleeping was the only way to pass the time quickly. Plus, I couldn't stand being awake any longer knowing that Finnick was probably getting ready for the ball with that blonde girl at that very moment. I had only just turned the light off when I heard someone enter my room.

"Annie?" Finnick's voice called out. Finnick?

"Finnick, what are you doing here?" I whispered, sitting up in the bed.

"I'm here to bust you out." he replied, and even in the dark his eyes were sparkling.

I switched on the light, "What?"

I saw him for the first time since that day, and even though I was supposed to hate him I couldn't. He sat down on the bed and just stared at me for a moment.

"You're my date for the Christmas Ball, remember?"

"Finnick, are you serious?" I said angrily. After everything that had happened, that is what he said to me?

"I've missed you so much, Annie." Finnick said endearingly, and I almost believed him.

"No you didn't." I said, but it hurt to be so harsh.

A pained expression crossed his face. "Annie, please let me explain...It wasn't what it looked like."

"Oh, how original." I shot back.

"Please." Finnick begged, "Just hear me out."

I looked at him closely. He really did look upset. Even though his hair was perfectly styled and he was wearing a crisp black suit, there were dark circles under his eyes, which suggested he hadn't had much sleep. He looked genuinely desperate to explain himself to me, and I supposed it wouldn't hurt to listen to him, seeing as I wasn't very cooperative when he tried to call me.

"Okay." I said finally.

"My father set me up on that date." Finnick began. "The girl's father is a client. He wanted me to keep her father happy, and at the same time…spend time with the 'right' type of girl."

"But you didn't have to go." I pointed out.

"I know, Annie." He sighed. "He threatened to send me back to reform school. He's done it once before. I was going to loose you one way or another."

I could feel my heart softening towards him. I knew all along in the back of my mind that there must have been some reason for what I saw, but it was easier just to hate him and try to move on. Now though, I was caught. I'd tried to lock away the feelings I had for Finnick, but they were too strong. Now that he was sitting on my bed, they all came rushing back so fast I felt dizzy. It made me confused though, because I still hadn't made up my mind about whether to forgive him or not.

"Annie…" Finnick said sadly."I am so sorry. You have to believe me."

This was the longest Finnick had ever gone with making some kind of joke, and I really believed that he was being sincere. Still, I was scared to trust him again.

"Why should I believe you?"

Finnick reached into his pocket and handed me another candy heart. This one was pink, and had the words 'I Love You' printed on it. I looked up at him questioningly.

"Because I love you, Annie Cresta." he said, and the sweetest smile formed on his lips.

This was all too much for me to handle. One minute I was trying to forget all about Finnick Odair, and the next minute I was ready to declare that I loved him too. I knew in my heart that it was true and that absolutely terrified me.

"I'm not going to say it back, Finnick." I replied. Even though I felt it, I couldn't say the words because if I did then it would be real. I couldn't take it back and that would drive me even more mad if something like this happened again. "I need some time."

"I get it, Annie." Finnick said. "I'll be waiting though." Finnick's smile widened and he leant in to kiss me, but I pulled away.

"Finnick..." I trailed off. "I don't know if I can do this."

His eyes searched my face, and I could see he was starting to panic. It looked like he really was terrified of loosing me.

"When I was with you, I was happy." I tried to explain. "But maybe I'm better off by myself."

"When I was with you, I was happy too. Don't you see, we make each other better!" Finnick looked at me. "I know I'm not good enough for you, but I promise, nothing like this will happen again. You're all I want, Annie."

"You promise?" I whispered, and he nodded. "You have to mean it this time."

"Annie, I do." Finnick said, and this time I really believed him.

My head was telling me to make him leave, and to have a fresh start like Dr Aurelius suggested. However, my heart was telling me that despite everything that had happened, Finnick was good for me, and I knew he would try and make this work. So, when he leant in to kiss me again, I didn't move away. One kiss was not enough, and I realised just how much I had missed him. How could I ever forget this boy? It was impossible.

"So how about you come to the Christmas Ball with me?" he asked way too sweetly.

"Finnick, I can't…" I looked down at my arms, covered in scars and bandages around my wrists.

"Please, Annie." he said, almost pleading. "I need you." For a moment he was serious, before he broke out into a smile. "Besides, there is no way that I could show up without a date, I have a reputation to uphold, you know."

I rolled me eyes, "Whatever."

"Please?"

"But there's no way you can get me out of here." I protested. "How did you even get in here?"

"Oh you know, I may have charmed the girls at reception." He winked. "I am Finnick Odair of course."

"How could I forget?" I smiled despite myself. Once again, his lively nature had gotten the better of me. It was hard not to smile when he was smiling at me. "Well did Finnick Odair bring me something to wear?"

"He did!" Finnick reached into his bag and pulled out the most beautiful sea green dress I had ever seen.

"Finnick…it's beautiful." I breathed.

"So you'll come?" he asked hopefully.

I rolled my eyes again, biting down on my lip as I tried not to smile.

"Is that a yes?" he asked cheekily.

I couldn't help but smile then. "Well it's not a no."

Finnick looked almost giddy as he pressed a kiss to my lips. "That's good enough for me."

"Ok ok, I'll put this on." I stood up from the bed. "You can wait outside."

"Can't I just turn around?" he whined.

"Fine, but no looking." I said stubbornly.

As I slipped off my pyjamas and put on the beautiful dress, I turned my head slightly and saw Finnick quickly look away from me, a blush growing on his cheeks.

"Hey, I said no looking." I contended.

"I think your knight in shining armour is allowed one free look, don't you?" he joked.

I sighed, "Whatever, will you zip me up?"

Finnick crossed the room and slowly pulled the zip up the dress. As he stood behind me, I could feel his breath warm and slow on his neck. Quickly I turned, desperate to bridge the gap between us, but instead Finnick stepped back. The way he looked at me, made me feel like he was really did love me, and I was beginning to think that this was a good idea after all.

"So knight in shining armour, do you happen to have any shoes in that bag?" I joked.

Finnick's eyes widened, "I forgot about shoes!" He looked genuinely upset as he cursed under his breath. "Sorry, Annie."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm no good in heels anyway." I told him. Instead I slipped on my worn pair of black Converse Hi-Tops.

Finnick sat on the bed, as I brushed through my tangled hair.

"I had no idea it was going to take you this long to get ready." he moaned.

"As if you didn't spend hours in front of the mirror to get your hair like that." I replied.

"What, this is all natural." he joked. "So do you like it then?" he asked more seriously.

I shrugged, "It's ok." A lie of course, he looked amazing, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of telling him that.

When I was ready, Finnick took my hand in his and gave me a reassuring smile as we prepared ourselves to run for it. As we sprinted down the dark corridors, laughing and smiling, it was the first time I had felt properly alive in weeks. When we made it safely into the foyer of the hospital, flushed and breathless, we collapsed into each other arms, laughing and trying to regain our breath. Still holding my hand, Finnick led me outside, where a limousine was parked.

"Your chariot awaits." he said, opening the door for me.

As I slid inside, I realised I had never been in a limousine before. I suddenly started to panic when I thought about where we were headed. I didn't belong on the Upper East Side, Finnick's parents were absolutely right. I was about to enter a completely different world and I wasn't sure I was ready.

"Finnick, I don't think I can do this." I said quietly.

"Yes you can." Finnick took both of my hands in his.

"Maybe we should just go back." I tried desperately to fight back the panic that was rising in me, but it wasn't working.

"Annie, I was serious before. I need you to be there." He looked into my eyes. "You're the only one that can keep my sane in a place like that."

"If I'm the one keeping you sane, then I think you have a problem." I said sarcastically.

"You will be fine, Annie, I promise." he said honestly, "I won't let go of your hand."

"Well then, maybe it will be ok." I laughed, resting my head on his chest.

I smiled as he kissed the top of my head, and slowly the panic began to subside.

The ball was held in the grand hall at The Capitol School. Already, girls in beautiful dresses with elaborate hair and makeup were entwined around guys in expensive suits, and classical music played from inside. I started to feel the panic again, as I realised I was way out of my depth. This whole situation was totally overwhelming, and considering I hadn't been out of the hospital in over a week, I was starting to feel a little dizzy. It was hard to comprehend that only hours ago I was in a psychiatric ward trying to forget about Finnick, and now I was holding his hand about to enter the Christmas Ball. I was beginning to wonder if any of this was even real.

Of all the things rushing through my mind, however, only one thought really stuck. "Finnick." I said, stopping suddenly. "I don't know how to dance."

"Well lucky for you, I've training for occasions such as these my whole life." he smiled.

"What if they laugh at me?" I said quietly.

"Why would they laugh at you?" Finnick looked into my eyes. "You're beautiful."

That was a lie of course. I looked silly, in a ballroom dress and sneakers, with bandages and a hospital bracelet around my wrists. Everyone was going to make fun of me. This was a mistake. I should leave Finnick and run away now. Go back to Brooklyn for my fresh start. Forget all about this place.

Stop.

I knew that I was doing this to myself- talking myself out of situations and making myself feel worse. Dr Aurelius said I needed to 'outsmart my mind' by thinking positively about myself and the world, but was so hard not to doubt myself in a place like that.

I realised Finnick was staring at me, and a strange thing happened. It started with his eyes, those green eyes that took away all the bad thoughts from my mind. His smile pulled me back to the reality of the moment and made me sure that this was one hundred percent real. The way his hand squeezed mine reminded me that we were in this together. As we took the first steps towards the ball, I thought that maybe Finnick would be the one to keep me sane, too.

A/N: This was part one of the ball, more to come next chapter!