Annie's POV
Finnick had been on the phone to me for almost two hours, describing in detail everything that had happened with Cashmere at The Capitol School. It all sounded pretty exciting, but I was glad that neither Gale or Cashmere were in trouble.
"Oh Annie, I wish we went to school together." Finnick moaned. "I miss you too much during the day."
"Awwww." I laughed. "But I think there's already enough gossip about me at your school without me even being there. I wouldn't survive a day."
"Well you'd have me to protect you!" Finnick laughed. "How about I move to your school then?"
It was so cute that Finnick would even consider travelling to Brooklyn to go to school with me. "Your dad would kill you." I reminded him.
"It's worth the risk to be able to see you every day."
I laughed. "Finnick, you would be way too distracting. I would fail all my classes."
"Ugh, good point." Finnick groaned. "I guess we'll just have to stick to the weekends then."
"I suppose so." I said sadly.
It took nearly ten minutes of saying goodbye to each other before I finally hung up, even though I didn't want to at all. However, my aunt and uncle had left for a week long holiday, so I needed to cook my own dinner. They were hesitant about leaving me for so long, but really I was happy for the quiet. So I cooked a meal and fitted in some homework before going to bed just passed 11pm.
I had only just fallen asleep when my phone started to ring. It was Finnick again, and immediately I was concerned that something was wrong.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Annie…" Finnick's voice broke as he said my name.
"What is it? What's wrong?" I could feel the panic starting to rise in me as I sat up in bed.
"It's Mags." Finnick cried. "She had a stroke... I'm at the hospital now."
Oh no, oh no, oh no, I thought. Not Mags.
"I'm so scared Annie, I can't lose her." Finnick sounded close to tears, and I too thought that I was going to cry.
"Oh Finnick." I said, feeling miserable. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."
Finnick tried to tell me that I didn't have to come, but there was no way that I was going to let him wait alone at the hospital. I jumped out of bed and threw on whatever clothes I could find, and in less than 10 minutes I was in a cab on my way to the Upper East Side.
I found Finnick in the waiting room at the ER, sitting hunched over in one of the white plastic chairs, wearing his pyjamas.
"Finnick…" I said, rushing to him.
He looked so relieved when he stood up, and he threw his arms around me so fast I nearly lost my balance.
"Thank you so much for coming Annie." he said. He tried to say something else, but he started to sob into my shoulder, his whole body shaking. All I could do was hold him he struggled to regain his breath. "I can't lose her, Annie, I can't." He repeated.
"It's going to be okay, Finnick." I told him, and I wished desperately that I was right.
Finnick sat back down in his chair, and I went to sit beside him. Quickly his arms reached out and wrapped around my waist, pulling my onto his lap. He offer me one of his most charming smile, but it was laced with deep sadness. His eyes were red and puffy, dark circles under his eyes, and I could only imagine how awful he must have been feeling. I was so glad that I was with him, because I though that he really needed me to be there, and it was nice not being the one who needed taking care of. I rested my head on his chest and he played with my hair for a while, as if keeping his hands busy in my ever tangled hair was some what calming to him. We stayed silent, and at one point I must have dozed off, because I woke with a jolt as a doctor appeared in front of us. Finnick jumped up quickly, and I wrapped my arm around his waist to support him.
"Is Mags alright?" Finnick asked, desperate but terrified of the truth.
"Mags experienced a stoke, which effected the Broca's area of her brain. She is now suffering from a condition named Broca's Aphasia." The doctor said, completely expressionless.
"But what does that mean?" I asked, because I didn't think Finnick was able to speak.
"It means that she is going to experience great difficulty in producing clear, articulate speak, and will struggle with speaking in general."
"But she's going to be okay?" Finnick asked quickly.
"She is stable, and all other brain function appears normal." At last the doctor offer us a small smile.
I could feel Finnick relax beside me. "So can we see her?" he asked.
The doctor directed us down the hall where we found Mags sitting up in a hospital bed, looking worn out but smiling none the less.
"Oh Mags." Finnick said, hugging her tightly. "Don't ever do that again. I was so scared I was going to loose you."
"Not…going…any…where." Mags replied. Her speech was slow and drawn out, and very difficult to understand, but we still knew what she meant.
Finnick didn't miss a beat though. "Ah, now you can't tell me off for eating too much sugar!"
Mags rolled her eyes, but reached out to touch his cheek lovingly, as though she was just as scared to loose Finnick.
We stayed with Mags through the night, and we must have all fallen asleep because I was suddenly woken at 6am. Finnick looked exhausted, his hair a mess and his eyes having trouble focusing.
"I'll go get some coffee." I said, leaving Finnick and Mags alone while I went in search of the coffee machine.
When I returned, I opened my palm to show Finnick the sugar packets I had brought him. "I even got you extra sugar!" I laughed.
Before Finnick could take them, Mags quickly grabbed the packets, giving Finnick an unimpressed look. Oh Mags, there was not getting passed her.
Eventually, a nurse asked us to leave so that Mags could be moved to a new room. Finnick dragged himself from his chair and took my hand, looking relieved as we left the hospital in the early morning.
"Want to come back to mine for breakfast?" Finnick asked sleepily.
"I should get home, I've got an appointment with Dr Aurelius later." I told him.
"Okay." Finnick pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. "Thanks for being here, Annie. I really mean it."
"It's okay Finnick." I told him. "I'm glad Mags is alright."
"Me too."
We parted, both relieved that Mags was going to be okay. I had the feeling that Mags was going to be around for a long time yet.
I didn't like returning to the hospital for my appointments with Dr Aurelius, especially since I had been feeling so good recently. I still had the flashbacks and the nightmares, but the bad thoughts about myself that used to torment me were becoming less and less frequent. Finnick's love had made me start to like myself more and more, and I was beginning to think that maybe I wasn't such a bad person.
"So how are things with Finnick then?" Dr Aurelius asked, after he had asked the usual questions about my flashbacks or if I'd cut recently. Each week that passed that I answered "No" was a small victory in itself.
"Fine." I replied, trying to hold back my blush.
"You've spoken before about feeling insecure about yourself, compared to the other girls that Finnick has been with. How is that going?"
I gulped. "I guess I still kind of compare myself to them, but I know that Finnick loves me. Like, really loves me."
"I think Finnick has had a positive influence on how you think about yourself." Dr Aurelius observed.
"I think so too." I said. "I feel like a new Annie."
"I think I'm going to set you a little challenge for this week Annie, to help with your view of yourself even more."
"And what would that be?" I asked, a little concerned.
"Try something that the old Annie wouldn't have done. Something you would have told yourself you couldn't do. Let go, enjoy being yourself."
I left Dr Aurelius' office trying hard to think about what I could do to challenge myself. I still hadn't thought of anything when I returned home, so I lay down on my bed and decided to call Finnick.
He sounds groggy when he answered, as though he had been asleep.
"Did I just wake you?" I asked apologetically.
"No, no." Finnick laughed. "I was merely resting my eyes."
"Whatever you say." I laughed. "How are you?"
"Much better to be talking to you." He replied simply. "Can I remind you just how much of an amazing girlfriend you are?"
"I don't think I could ever get tired of that." I laughed.
"I know I must have looked absolutely irresistible in my pyjamas." He joked.
"Oh yeah, I wanted to rip that dressing gown right off you." I teased.
Flirting with Finnick had become second nature to me, I didn't even think about it anymore. I used to be so full of self hatred that I didn't think a guy would even want to look at me, but being with Finnick had brought out a new side to me that liked to be flirted with and kissed and looked at longingly.
I could hear Finnick sigh. "I love you so much, Annie." He said softly, as if in a dream.
It suddenly hit me just how much I loved Finnick too, and I realised how badly I wanted be able to show him just how good he had been for me. I was reminded of the day I told Finnick I loved him, and how I hadn't been ready to go any further with him then. Maybe, I thought, I was ready now. I didn't think that was exactly the challenge Dr Aurelius had in mind for me this week, and there was no way I wanted to tell him about it, but I knew that being with Finnick like that was something the old Annie could never have done. The old Annie would have been thinking too much about the other girls Finnick had been with, telling herself she wouldn't be good enough for him, feeling insecure about her body and her scars. But the new Annie wasn't like that. She was confident and bold and bursting with so much love for Finnick that I suddenly want to sleep with him right then and there.
"Finnick." I said quickly. I could hardly contain how excited I was. This was a massive step for me, and I couldn't believe how good it felt to finally start to let go of all the things I didn't like about myself. I was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming sense of freedom."Do you want to come over tonight?"
Finnick was quiet for a moment. "I thought your aunt gave you strict instructions not to invite me over." Finnick reminded me.
"Well she doesn't have to know, does she?" I replied, surprised by how confident I was feeling.
I could practically hear Finnick's smile on the other end of the line. "I suppose not." He said, "I'll see you later then, Miss Cresta."
My self doubting mind starting working in full force as I waited for Finnick to arrive. I decided to distract myself by getting started on dinner, and I was almost finished when Finnick rang the bell. I buzzed him up and nearly lost my breath when he stood in the doorway carrying a bunch of sweet smelling flowers.
"For you." He said, kissing me before handing them to me.
"What's this for?" I asked, surprised.
"For being with me today." He shrugged. "And not teasing me about the fact that I cried all over you."
I laughed, "It was cute." I told him honestly.
"It was very unmanly." He contended.
I shrugged. "I still love you."
I put the flowers in a little vase before serving him dinner, and he remarked that it was the best spaghetti he had ever tasted. I rolled my eyes, but inside my heart was bursting by how much I loved him.
We washed the dishes together, but it took way longer than it should have, because Finnick kept kissing me every few seconds. He was being adorable, but I was getting more and more anxious about what was to come, and I hoped he couldn't tell.
"Sooooo." Finnick said once we had washed the dishes. "What's next?"
I took a deep breath. "You can come with me."
I led him by the hand into my bedroom, and we sat down on the bed. We looked at each other for a moment, and I could tell that Finnick was holding back, making sure I was in control of the situation.
I kissed him hesitantly, but as he returned it with more passion, I felt my worries slip away as I became lost in how much I loved being with him.
"Annie." he said softly, breaking away. "Is this going where I think it's going?"
"Only if you want it to." I replied, reversing our previous conversation.
"Only if you want it to." He corrected.
"Well, I do." I said matter-of-factly.
"Are you sure?" He persisted, searching my face carefully.
"Yes!" I laughed, kissing him again. "Do you want to?"
"Oh yeah." He said slowly, kissing me again.
We fell back against my pillows, and I felt like I was flying. Being the new Annie was wonderful. Suddenly Finnick stopped and pulled his lips away from mine.
"What is it?" I asked, suddenly fearing that he didn't want me.
"I'm kind of scared." He said honestly, looking a little sheepish. He looked so adorable in his moment of insecurity, but I had no idea why he would be scared.
"Why? You've done this before." I asked, confused.
"Not with someone I love." He looked deep into my eyes. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
Oh Finnick. I wanted to say something to reassure him, but I was upset with how much distance there was between our lips. "Mmmhmmm." Was all I managed, reaching up to pull him closer.
Finnick's eyes kept drifting towards my lips, darkening with lust. "Your wish is my command." Finnick said slowly, dipping his head closer.
I was surprised by just how fun the build up was. We couldn't help but laugh as we tried to undress each other as quickly as possible, but at the same time trying not to let our lips part from each others for more than a second. Finnick's gentle chuckle rang in my ears, and it was almost all in slow motion as I watched the way he smiled. It seemed to me like he hadn't smiled like that in this situation before.
Finally our clothes were gone, and Finnick kissed every inch of my skin. The way he looked at me made any doubts I'd ever had about my body disappear instantly, and I'd never felt more confident in myself. Never had I felt more safe, more sure of myself and of my feelings, and I knew that I had made a good decision.
Finnick made me feel so loved, but I wanted to make sure he felt loved and not just used like he probably felt before. I loved feeling his breath hitch as I trailed kisses down his chest, and I was beginning to feel less and less shy about how little experience I had compared to him. I was letting go of my past, and it was wonderful.
While things started off light and fun, soon the air turned thick and heavy as the temperature seemed to sky rocket. I let Finnick guide me as finally we were together, and I almost couldn't believe that this was really happening. However, the way Finnick kept murmuring, "I love you", in my ear kept me grounded in reality and as I repeated it back to him like a mantra, I was sure once and for all that this was real. When we collapsed against each other, breathless but grinning, I'd never felt happier in my entire life.
Finnick was still asleep when I woke up in the early morning. We were facing each other, arms wrapped around each other as though we were clinging to each other for dear life. He looked peaceful, his eyelids gently closed and a small smile on his lips. I could have watched him forever, but I knew I should probably get up and make some breakfast. My aunt and uncle would be home in the afternoon, and there was no way they could find Finnick in my bed.
I was just so comfortable in his arms that I could barely bring myself to leave. Slowly, trying not to disturb Finnick, I untangled myself from him, but instinctively his arms reached for me again, pulling me back to him. I couldn't help but laugh, that even a half asleep Finnick still got exactly what he wanted.
"Where do you think you're going?" Finnick asked sleepily.
I suddenly fell in love with the way that Finnick woke up. Slowly his eyelids fluttered open, his green eyes glistening as they came into focus, locked with mine.
"Morning." he said, sounding a little more awake.
"Good morning." I smiled.
"How are you?" He asked, kissing my forehead.
"Wonderful." I told him happily. "How are you?"
"Fantastic!" Finnick laughed.
Lying on our sides facing each other, we didn't say anything for a moment. Finnick was searching my face, a smile growing on his lips.
"What are you smiling about?" I asked.
"I'm just trying to capture this moment to remember it always." He told me softly.
We were quiet again before Finnick spoke up, the first time I had ever heard him sound vulnerable. "Are you okay?"
"Never better." I replied, a smile growing on my face.
"Was it okay?"
I couldn't help but laugh, at the thought that Finnick was worried that I didn't enjoy it. "The best I've ever had." I joked, but looking at Finnick I knew he needed a serious answer. "It was perfect, Finnick." I told him honestly.
He was beaming, but suddenly I was overcome with my own insecurities. "Was it okay for you?" I asked timidly.
"The best I've ever had." Finnick said seriously.
"You're just saying that." I scrunched up my face.
"Am not." Finnick laughed, tapping my nose. "It was different, being with someone I love. Good different, the best kind of different." He smiled. "It was perfect for me too."
His words made me blush, but suddenly I was giggling and so was he, both overwhelmed by how happy we both were.
But I knew I should get up, so groaning, I dragged myself from under the covers. Finnick watched in amusement as I searched for my clothes, but my shirt was no where to be seen. I settled for Finnick's t-shirt, and even though it was way too big, it felt right.
I was just pouring the first batch of pancake mix into the pan when I felt Finnick's arms wrap around my waist. Even then, he still gave me butterflies when he kissed my neck.
"So you decided to get up then?" I laughed. I turned to face him and realised he was only wearing his underwear. "How about some clothes, Finnick?" I laughed.
"What, do you this distracting?" He joked.
"Very, I'm going to burn these pancakes!" I said.
"Hmm, well may I remind you that you are wearing my t-shirt." He replied.
"Hmph." I scrunched up my face. He had a point, so instead I turned back to the pancakes to flip them over.
Finnick couldn't keep his hands off me though, wrapping his arms around me again. I turned to face him, trying to act annoyed, but that was impossible. Instinctively, my hands moved up his bare chest and I sighed.
"Maybe you can stay like that then." I said, resting my head on his chest.
"Great, but what about those pancakes...?" He joked.
Gasping, I spun around quickly and flipped the pancakes onto a plate before they burnt. "Okay, maybe you should set the table then." I told him, "Plates are over there, cutlery in that drawer." I directed him.
We moved through the kitchen seamlessly, and by the time the pancakes were all cooked Finnick had set the table, complete with the small vase of flowers he had given me. As we sat down at the dining table, it was as if we had been doing that for years. It all felt so comfortable, and suddenly I could see my life in 10...15...20 years, and wanted it to be exactly like that.
"What are you thinking about?" Finnick asked curiously.
I bit down on my lip, thinking maybe I shouldn't tell him. But he looked just as comfortable sprinkling sugar on his pancakes that maybe he felt the same. "Just that if this is what the future is like, I wouldn't mind it." I said lightly.
Finnick beamed. "I wouldn't mind it either."
It didn't feel right, sitting so far away from him at breakfast, and I could tell by the way he was playing with my feet under the table he felt the same. His eyes kept darting towards my lips, a cheeky smile forming on his lips as I knew exactly what he was thinking. Dumping the dishes in the sink, was raced each other back to my bedroom, collapsing on the bed together laughing.
As Finnick moved over me, meeting his lips to mine, I was definitely sure that I wanted this to be my future. My hands found his hair and he was pulling the shirt over my stomach as we heard the sound of the front door open. We jumped apart, Finnick looking at me with wide eyes.
"Annie, we're home!" My aunt called from the hallway.
"They're early!" I hissed to Finnick, but he was already scrambling for his clothes.
I threw his shirt to him as he jumped into his pants, pulling on his socks on as he stumbled to the window. Quickly, I opened it for him and handed him his shoes. We were laughing silently as Finnick climbed out of the window onto the fire escape. He gave me one last kiss before he disappeared, just as my aunt knocked in the door.
Jumping back into bed, I called out and she entered, eyeing the room and myself suspiciously before asking how I was. As soon as she left, I fell back onto the pillows, breathless, with total disbelief that anything that good could really happen to me. But it had, and I was the best I had been in a long time.