Short chapter…I know but I'll update again soon

EPOV

I knew I had to confront Bella. We had gone 2 years without talking and the fact that it was my fault struck up a pain in my stomach.

I hadn't been the same person I had known myself to be that day. The frustration of wanting Bella and straying from my originally plan had confused me to no end and I took a wrong turn. A fatal turn.

I was a monster, a sick, sadistic, monster that ruined the life I had built for myself. Tanya was the equivalent to a security blanket. I needed her when the times got tough but it was obviously evident that she couldn't last forever. We didn't need each other, I just held on to her because she was all I had.

I knew I was wrong, my siblings had tried to smack some sense into me that first year but I kept trying to convince them that I didn't know what I was doing. During that time, I became an excellent liar.

There was no turning back once I had said those words. I couldn't turn back the clock and switch myself back to normal Edward. Heck during that year my mother had thought be bipolar but the doctors told her different. The only conclusion was that her son was a jackass.

Jasper was probably the hardest on me. Where he didn't scream or yell like Rosalie did, he wouldn't even talk to me. The occasional word when it came to manners but besides that he was too disgusted with me as to have verbal contact.

My first conclusion was that because Alice was Bella's best friend at the time he was obliged to join her, but even when Alice gave up on me and Bella's relationship and was decent to me he didn't change. Jasper had his reasons and I could think of a few.

The look on Bella's face was also enough.

She refused to look at me anymore and when our eyes met this aged pain would come out and stab me in the chest. She had changed and I couldn't tell if it was me or her mother. I wasn't conceited enough to believe it was all me and not the loss of her mother but I'm sure as hell I didn't help.

So that's what brought me here. I had just driven up to Bella's house and ready to plead at that door for her to listen. I didn't deserve her forgiveness and didn't think twice about asking for it. I simply wanted to give her what she deserved, and that was an explanation and a long overdue apology.

Tanya leaving had me realize that I not only wanted her back in my life, but I needed a best friend. And I was holding out for the one girl who could ever hold that position. I didn't care about having anything more; I just needed her in my life.

BPOV
The day went by rather uneventfully. My grades were decent and lunch was…lunch. I went through that staring at my tray not making eye contact with anyone and doing a little homework. I knew I needed to get out of this town. My family had more or less abandoned me and my friends gave up.

I couldn't blame them for giving up on me. I was a shell and as much as I tried to resurface the current continued to pull me back down. No one cared enough to help anymore and they didn't deserve to be bothered with a burden like me.

I had come to the realization that my grades were the only thing I had and a scholarship would help me escape, a loveless home, a dead mother, a lost best friend, and a life that seemed pointless.

I had dreams for the future and in my opinion they were reachable. I wanted to become a novelist. I didn't care what I did between now and then as long as that was the outcome. I already had a draft and it was just a matter of editing it with the help of some literature courses and sending the manuscript to numerous publishing companies.

My draft was actually a re-run of the past few years of my life. I used inspirations from my diary to write it and someday when I was ready to burst out of my shell the world would know my story. It wasn't because I needed pity but because I needed people to know. Someone had to know the internal battle I was suffering and my true feelings, not the Bella I presented. They needed to know the subtle feeling of lack of appreciation at home and the abandonment of my friends. I didn't care who 'they' was as long as it was someone.

As I was dreaming about my published novel I realized Jake had pulled in the driveway and I grabbed my bags.

Jake was going out with a few friends after school so he was simply dropping me off at home and was going to be home around 9.

'I guess I'm cooking dinner for one tonight' I said to myself. But as soon as I stepped out of the car I noticed Charlie's police cruiser was in the driveway which was strikingly odd.

Charlie never left work early but I shrugged it off, there was a virus going around and he was probably sick. As I walked up the steps I noticed a crushed beer can on the top step and the door was unlocked. Cautiously I opened the door and stepped in; bracing myself for what came next….

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?

Okay so this song has some relevance but personally I just really wanted to put some cheap trick on here because…well….cheap trick is the shiz-nit!

So yeah this was basically a filler chapter to give you some more insight on each character and their intentions. Bella's novelist dream is a huge part of the story so I thought better to introduce it earlier so I can maneuver it into everything!

As for my last authors note and my whole 'at least 20 before I re-post' thing. I gave in. Reviews were slow and I only got one suggestion out of all the people who favored, alerted, and reviewed the story. This leads me to believe you al didn't read it and I get that, it's fanfiction not English class. But still if you didn't read it or you didn't give me input I'd really appreciate it. Otherwise I won't get all dramatic on you and I'll survive.