"Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...".
What if Scandal were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?
The text below is my script for the sit-com pilot. Have a look, and tell me if you think it should be optioned, or remain on the summer slush pile!
I don't own Scandal, which is the exclusive property and creative achievement of Shonda Rhimes and the talented writers of Shondaland.
As always, this author is grateful for all readers and comments, negative and positive.
SCENE FOUR: "It's Never Too Late"
Fitz's office.
Fitz is alone, now, surrounded by the papers on his desk, which include the files David Rosen left for him regarding Billy Chambers and Jake Ballard and the charges against them. Fitz picks up one and begins reading it as his phone rings.
FITZGERALD
Hello?
The camera slices to Gerald Fitzgerald II, otherwise known as Big Gerry—former Governor and four-time Senator from the State of California, and Fitz's father, from whom Fitz has mostly been estranged over the past sixteen years. Big Gerry is in the sunroom of the palatial California ranch house where Fitz grew up, siting, relaxed, on a floral sofa.
BIG GERRY
Son?
FITZGERALD
He is in shock. This may not exactly be a phone call from the dead, but Fitz and his father have spoken very little since his mother's funeral nine years ago—and few of their conversations have ever been particularly cordial.
Dad?
BIG GERRY
With exaggerated joviality
How are you, Fitz?
FITZGERALD
Warily
I'm just dandy, Sir.
He pauses and speaks smoothly to his father as his fingers tighten on the phone's receiver
It's been a long time, Dad. What can I do for you?
BIG GERRY
Genial and Devious
Oh nothing, nothing you can do for me, Son….I was just calling to hear how you would be taking care of Mellie Randolph….
FITZGERALD
Rolls his eyes
"Taking care of Mellie Randolph?"
Fitz's eyes narrow, even though his father cannot see his face
If you mean will the town of Hallingford make sure that Mellie is given something to eat and a place to sleep, the answer is yes. She's scheduled to be here in three weeks. The Chamber of Commerce is organizing a dinner in her honor and we've booked her a suite in Hallingford's Evergreen Inn.
BIG GERRY
In the same disingenuously genial tone
Well make sure the little lady is properly thanked for her time! You know all this was really my idea…and Bill's, of course! Couldn't help but notice that your town needed a little lift after that paper factory closed…
FITZGERALD
We can see the emotions play across his face; this is exactly what he suspected had happened, and it is principally the sense he had that his father is, as per habit, attempting to live his life for him, that is most upsetting
Dad, I appreciate that….
BIG GERRY
Cutting him off
Now there's no need to thank me, son….Bill and I just figured that this might be a fine way to solve the little cash-flow problems your town was having…and give you an opportunity to reconnect with an old friend…
FITZGERALD
Cutting in to address the other part of this plot that is worrisome
"Bill?"
BIG GERRY
With a continuation of his false, genial tone
Why, Bill Randolph, Mellie's Dad…you remember him, Fitz…why, he might have been your father-in-law…
FITZGERALD
His mouth tightening
Dad, Mellie isn't an "old friend."
BIG GERRY
Contradicting
Now, Son…
FITZGERALD
Firmly
Mellie is—was—my ex-fiancé. Emphasis upon "ex." I wish Mellie Randolph well, Dad-I really, truly, do; I wish her every happiness; but Mellie and I don't socialize. It upsets my wife.
BIG GERRY
Continuing the disingenuous, jovial, tone
Oh, come on, now, Fitzgerald. It's been over fifteen years….
Your wife can't possibly be so insecure….so clingy…..
And now his tone is more insinuating
Unless she's finally realized how poorly matched you always were….and is starting to feel a little uncertain about your future together?
FITZGERALD
With a grim smile
I guess I have to thank you, again, Dad, for putting your cards on the table.
Fitzgerald is angry, but he is keeping his temper
Dad, I can only hope you haven't shared your opinion of my marriage with Mellie. Because, as great as it is for all of us at Hallingford that she's building a factory here, that's *all* she's going to be doing.
BIG GERRY
Still disingenuous, but now solicitous
Son, it's never too late to undo a mistake…just think how much farther your political career could go with a different partner…
FITZGERALD
We can hear his temper snap as his voice goes low and lethal
I've never been interested in going anywhere I couldn't go with Olivia. Is that clear, Dad? And the only mistake I've made recently was taking your call!
Fitzgerald slams down the phone. Then, with an impulsive gesture of anger and frustration, we see Fitz sweep the papers off his desk.
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Once again, the author wishes to thank those readers who are keeping up with this piece, especially ScandalMania, as well as those readers who have been kind enough to look it over, despite the fact that they don't follow Scandal. I am grateful for everyone's kind attention.