I'm sure there are loads of spelling errors but try not to concentrate too much on those!

And I know I haven't updated on my other story in awhile but I'm just not so inspired right now, don't worry though, I will update soon you just have to give me some time!

BPOV

When I woke up things were a lot quieter than they had been the day before.

That's because I chased everyone out of here with my screaming

I heaved a sigh, I probably shouldn't have exploded at Jake and Edward but I couldn't be blamed. I wasn't a weak girl and I was done with acting like a pushover. It had taken everything I had not to go further in my rant, I wanted to mention everyone else's abandonment but I was too tired. Hopefully they could figure it out themselves.

I was extremely confused still. Edward looked so pained when I lashed out on him. Like I had actually struck a nerve and hurt his new ego that had taken over the old Edward. The one Tanya stole from me.

In those few seconds before they all left I saw that boy I used to know, the boy that would have cam running to the hospital had he known what was going home that day, and the same boy who saved me from my drunken father. I truly hoped he would come back, but even if he did I couldn't promise my full forgiveness. Not after the past 2 years.

Jake was going to take some time too. If I blamed anyone for this accident besides my stupid weak self, it was him. He was my brother and I needed him to have been there yesterday. I've needed him to have been there these past two years! And even if he had chanced a glance at me once in awhile he would have noticed the very dark bruise still residing a on my cheek. Or the other cuts and bruises that were scattered across my body.

I knew Charlie loved me and after all he's done I loved him too. He had a drinking problem and he didn't need jail to fix that, he needed rehab. He needed to get well and become my father again. He hadn't attacked me out of callousness, it was out of pain and I was pretty sure his stable side wasn't aware.

But he had ignored me as well. I haven't felt love in quite awhile now and all of a sudden I was a burden.

I felt my plastered leg beneath the sheets and knew it was broken. I could also feel the tightness in the back of my head where the lacerations from the glass had been mended. This healing process was going to take quite awhile and I was going to need help.

There was also the matter of money. We had enough to get by with but the medical bill to follow this wasn't going to be a light one. Great. There goes my college savings.

Just as I was worrying about all these things I heard the door peak open and there stood Alice.

She walked in slowly as if to test her boundaries. When I didn't flinch after she sat down in the chair next to my bed she met my gaze.

She didn't have that bubbly look on her face as she always did. Her eyes held grief, sadness, confusion, and remorse. There was something else but I couldn't figure it out yet.

"Hi Bella" she whispered. I brought my gaze to the bed and took a deep breath.

"What brings you here Alice?" I asked with a tinge of sarcasm in it. She hadn't exactly acted as my friend this past year so I wasn't about to treat her like everything was just fine and dandy.

"I-I wanted to see how you were feeling, the nurse told me she heard some movement in here and I thought I'd check on you."

I looked at her and she seemed sincere enough. "I'm fine" I said not really interested in going into detail about how I really felt.

"No you're not Bella; gosh any sane person wouldn't be after all you've been through!" Her voice rose a couple of octaves. "you're in the hospital recovering from an attack from your own father, Why didn't you tell any of us this was happening, we could have helped you…" that's where I drew the line.

"Alice you have to be aware of the fact that I haven't had any friends or figuratively any family these past couple of years. There wasn't one person who noticed the bruise that's been on my face the past 2 months!"

I was still surprised at all the anger I was feeling towards everyone. It seemed kind of ridiculous but I couldn't just pretend everything was okay. I was far from it. I had no friends, no willing family, what did she expect me to say?

She just looked at me with saddened eyes for a moment before she spoke. "I know Bella, I'm sorry I really am it's just, I don't know! You weren't talking to us and It felt like you were never going to be Bella again, I wanted to help but I didn't know how and I guess I just stopped along the way. I didn't stop caring I just didn't know what to do!"

Then her head fell in her hands and she began to sob. "Can y-you ever f-forgive me?"

I looked at her for a moment before I spoke. Alice was such a good friend to me and part of me had already given up on the hopes that she could one day become so again. I wanted her back into my life I just didn't know if things would be the same.

"I do Alice, but you're just going to have to give me time, everything is just a little overwhelming right now and I wouldn't put it past you to know that."

She stood up and gave me a sad smile. "I understand Bella and I'm sorry. You should also talk to Jake and Edward, they both practically spent the night all torn up in the waiting room when we all went home. They refused to leave. I know what they did, and I know what we all did but you should at least hear them out."

"They spent the night here?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, they're both a mess. Like I said you should talk to them. But I think the nurse said something about the doctor coming in soon so I'm going to go but I'll come back later, if you want me to that is." She added the last part sheepishly.

"Yeah sure, I'd like that." I gave her my best smile before she walked out.

A couple minutes later an older looking man in a long white coat walked in with a clipboard.

"Hello Bella, I'm Doctor Morrison. Sorry I didn't get a chance to stop by while you were conscious, you fell asleep pretty shortly after you woke up. The damage wasn't too bad but we will have to ask you to stay here for the next few days to keep an eye on you." He smiled warmly at me before continuing.

"You have a broken leg, 9 staples in your head, and a good deal of bruises and smaller cuts covering your body. I suppose the damage could have been much worse had your friend not found you when he did." I winced when he said 'friend' but he continued.

"I am confident you will make a full recovery, can you tell me what happened?"

I shuddered at the memory. I could remember everything crystal clear but it wasn't something I thought I could talk about without falling to pieces. The look on Charlie's face when he charged at me, the pain of the glass smashing into my head. All memories I didn't want to recap just yet.

"I remember everything I just don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet, can you come back tomorrow?" I really needed another day to sort out my emotions.

"I would say yes but tomorrow the social worker is coming to hear your full statement of the incident. No trial will be held because your father pleaded guilty. The social worker will give you more details tomorrow but I've found it's better for abuse victims to practice their explanations out on someone else before spilling it out to the one person who will be taking charge of everything." I heaved a sigh and he noticed the disappointment in my face.

"You don't necessarily have to tell me, you could always talk to your brother or one of your friends instead but I highly suggest you do so before tomorrow." With that he patted my shoulder and strolled out of the room.

I knew he was right, talking to someone would make everything easier but I was too worried. According to Alice, Jake and Edward had been in the worst shape over me and maybe they deserved an explanation first. Then again, they were the two who hurt me the most and it would be more difficult. It seemed I had some rough decisions to make.

EPOV

When the doctor walked out of Bella's room instead of walking back down the hallway he came over to us.

"I just spoke with Bella and she seems pretty reluctant to share the events of her accident. With the social worker coming tomorrow it's probably better that she tell you or at least talk about it sometime today so that tomorrow will be an easier day for her." He smiled at us before walking away.

I so badly wanted to know what had happened in those moments before I arrived but I didn't know how she would react if I walked in. When Alice had walked out she said that Bella was surprised to hear we had stayed here overnight and that it probably wouldn't do any harm to go talk to her.

Jake had been sitting across from me in the waiting area. We made good company seeing as though we both had that one terrible thing in common.

We had been the two people to hurt Bella the most yet at the same time we were remembering how much we truly did love her.

I watched now as Jake stood up and began walking to her room. He stopped halfway there and turned to face me. "You coming Edward?"

I nodded and stood up.

Slowly we walked into room to find a very awake and frustrated looking Bella. I hadn't gotten much of a good look at her yesterday so I was surprised at what I saw.

Her leg looked like a giant lump underneath her sheets. She had cuts and bruises covering both her arms and face and the bruise on her face had become even more prominent in the hospital gown. She was sitting up in the bed with her eyes locked on the far side wall before she turned to face us.

"Hi" she whispered. She looked so sad and I resisted the urge to hold her in my arms. Jake went over to her and for a moment they just looked at each other. Before he broke down.

I don't think anyone had really seen Jake cry before. For all the time I had known him he had seemed to be a pretty rock solid guy who hid his emotion well. Now I watched as sobs shook his body and he held one hand up to his face to try and stop himself but he couldn't.

If Bella had been correct in saying that Jake had more or less ignored her the past couple of years then it was definitely remorse and guilt that swept over him now.

Every wall of his had now torn itself down and he knew there was a lot to fix now. I knew what that was like

Bella had a couple of tears trickling down her cheeks now and it only took a few moments for her to grab onto his shirt and wrap her tiny arms around him as if holding on for dear life.

Another thing I loved about Bella, her forgiving nature. Even when you've done the unforgivable she manages to accept you back into her life. I could only hope she showed me the same mercy and if she didn't I would wait for it.

After a few minutes Jake pulled back and the two had a hushed conversation so I stood by the door and waited.

After a few minutes Jake walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. He just stood there for a moment before walking out.

I walked over to Bella who was looking at me with the oddest expression on her face.

"Bella I am so--" I began but she cut me off.

"I know you're sorry Edward, I can see it in your eyes." It was strange to see that she still knew me so well. We used to always read each other with our eyes.

"I'm trying not to recount the past couple of years but before anything else I just need to know what happened that day. Just for my mental health. You need to give me an explanation of why you decided that day to turn in to the anti-Edward you became."

I looked at her with what could only be read as a remorseful expression. I took a deep breath before looking into her eyes and beginning.

"I love you Bella. I know that's a lot to take in right now but I do and those feelings started awhile ago. That day, I had my first date with Tanya. The truth is, I never really liked her. Emmett had told me something about using her to make you jealous so that's why I did it. I ended up getting so caught up in the frustration of trying to get dumb-cheerleader Tanya to like me that I forgot the whole reason for me going out with her." I waited a moment to gauge her reaction before continuing.

She seemed pretty shocked and I wasn't sure she was buying my truthful explanation.

"She began teasing me about liking you and I became even more desperate for her to like me. It was like I felt if I wasn't even worth her time then why would you ever want anything more out of me? She was slowly destroying me. When you called she was in the middle of asking me about you and making fun of me so I was a bit aggravated and didn't even think about the fact that you were crying and needed me.

"After that she just said goodbye and left. I was so angry at myself for ruining everything that my anger overtook me and I went to your house and completely destroyed everything between us. When I found out what had happened I was overcome with guilt and sorrow. I was as monster, and the worse kind at that. I tried to talk to you that first day at school but Tanya had hung on to me like a favorite toy and you wouldn't acknowledge me. I deserved that but it made me frustrated.

"So I called you that Friday night and let that new Edward take over me. The one Tanya had taken control over. I was wrong Bella I know that. Tanya became my ego and I felt worthless if I wasn't around her. "

Bella looked pretty confused by my speech but I continued on.

"I found you yesterday because I was going to your house to talk to you. It's not right for you to forgive me but I was planning on giving you an explanation anyways. I was also worried about you. I never stopped loving you Bella. I just made a huge mistake and it went all downhill from there. You had changed and you lost the glow on your face. I had even noticed a purple shadow on your cheek a week or so prior."

I moved closer to her bed and looked straight into her eyes.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, you just have a right to know." I whispered the last part.

She looked at me with an expression that was hard to decipher. For a moment she looked right back at me before moving her gaze to the wall. She had a few tears rolling down her cheeks and it hurt me to know I put them there.

She laughed sourly for a moment before speaking. "I've never really known the feeling of 'what could have been 'until now."

I looked at her questioningly but she continued. "I loved you too Edward and part of me still does. I guess now understanding what happened to you helps a bit but I'm going to need some time before we can build up any sort of relationship again." She gave me a small smile and I returned it.

"That's all I can ask for."

Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its' so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today

So far away: Staind

Extra-long chapter

And though Bella said it I want to repeat that the Bella-Edward relationship is going to take some time to fix

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