Punk paced the living room nervous energy pulsing through his body, he wondered how a five year old could make him so off his game. He also wondered how he got in this situation. It had taken two weeks for Randy to truly convince Punk to meet Alanna and now he was regretting giving into the demands. It wasn't that he didn't want to meet the girl, she was a huge part of the man he loved it was more about Punk himself. He had been all over the place emotionally, he was never sure minute to minute if he was going to be angry, sad, happy, depressed or just exhausted. His new therapist said he was reacting normally, that he was not supposed to have control of his feelings He had been emotionally, physically, and mentally violated. His beliefs had been torn to shreds and on top of all that he was making life changing decisions. Not to mention Chris wouldn't let him wrestle yet, not until they made sure he could deal with the physical contact and not have a mental breakdown in front of the audience. Punk understood this, he knew he was unstable hell the first time Randy tried to leave him home with John after an hour Punk had lost it and no comforting from John had helped, Randy ended up flying immediately back home and calling in sick. This week Punk had forced himself to deal with it better, however he had still broken down in the shower when John wasn't around. His therapist wanted to deal with his dependency on Randy but Punk had told him that subject was off limits and he had no desire to change his relationship with Randy at all. HE may have also threatened to walk out of the office and never return if the therapist ever implied his relationship with Randy was unhealthy. He felt eyes on him, and turned to look at Colt who seemed to have moved into the guest bedroom permanently. "What are you staring at?" he growled immediately pissed off even though he had no real reason though it pushed the nervous energy down.
"Nothing I asked if you wanted anything and was waiting for an answer. Sorry for trying to be nice. You may want to tone down the pissiness though Randy will be back soon with Alanna. At least he didn't have Sam drop her off awkward first meeting with the ex-wife avoided for today anyways. Should we start an I hate Sam campaign now or later?" Punk rolled his eyes but forced a smile trying not to lash out further.
"Sam is fine with me and Randy, she is actually happy for them. Their relationship is odd but I need to get along with her she will always be part Of Randy's life due to Alanna, so no campaign's ever Colt. Though an occasional reminder that she is a bitch and ugly wouldn't hurt. I don't need anything thanks, and sorry I was in my head didn't hear the question. I'm going to go use the bathroom, Randy took Alanna out to eat to explain to her who I am to him, so he will be another thirty minutes or so. I'll be back down in a bit." With that Punk fled the living room to the safety of his bedroom, he had a massive headache so he went into the bathroom opening Randy's medicine cabinet and his eyes widened at the amount of pill bottles. He scanned the bottles seeing they were mostly over the counter medicine, Tylenol, ibuprofen, Advil, aleve, pretty much anything that was a non narcotic pain reliever. Though he saw a few prescription bottles and curiosity got the best of him. He read the labels seeing they were prescriptions from a few months ago, a muscle relaxer and percocet he remember Randy having a back issue and figured these were related to that injury. He shook the bottles and found they were pretty full, popping the caps off he could tell Randy had taken very few of the pills. He recapped the muscle relaxer and stared at the percocet, he dumped two of the pills into his hand and then put the bottle back. He cracked his neck and chewed on his lip ring, trying to decided what to do. In Punk's mind he was no longer straight edge, Paul and Randy had seen to that. Granted he had not taken the drugs willingly ever, yet he had taken more drugs in the past few months then ever before in his life. Besides he was in pain and if he had asked Chris he was sure he would give him a prescription. He had real pain and the bruising was still fading. His head was pounding and so was his heart, if he did this Paul had truly won because Punk was justifying in his mind taking pills that were addictive and not his own. He closed his hand around the pills unsure of what he wanted to do.
He jumped as an arm reached around him popping open the cabinet and grabbing the two bottles, he watched as Randy dumped both bottles into the toilet. He continue to clutch the pills in his fist watching as the viper turned towards him. "I'm not going to wrestle those pills out of your hand just won't give you the opportunity to take more. My daughter is downstairs waiting to meet you and I would like you to do that without anything in your system. I'm not going to tell you not to take them if you feel like you need the pills then that is your choice, however I thought you were stronger than that. If this is where you are at, if you feel this unhappy, depressed, and lost then perhaps maybe you need to be inpatient like Chris and your therapist want. I love you Phil Brooks and I'm going downstairs to spend time with my daughter I hope you join me soon." Randy kissed him lightly and left the bathroom, Punk stood there trying not to cry, he opened his hand and looked at the pills again and then looked towards the door after Randy, finally shoving the pills into his pocket and following him. He couldn't throw them out and that worried him, and a voice in the back of his head was whispering that the old Punk would have thrown them away. Punk tried to ignore the voice briefly thinking to himself that the old Punk was dead, Paul Heyman, and his allies had succeeded in killing him.
Punk wandered through the living room looking for Randy and Alanna, feeling the stare of Colt, John, and Bryan and knowing immediately Randy had told them what happened upstairs. Probably warning them if they had any prescriptions to hide them. That pissed Punk off but he pushed the feeling down, he had taken the pills and he wasn't an addict so that was just ridiculous. Another thing that was ridiculous was the fact that all three men were living here, along with a large security team staying in the guest house and Punk's body-guard following him everywhere. He could never be alone, he was always being watched and followed, by the time Punk reached the back porch he was fuming. Once again anger hitting him irrationally out of nowhere directed at the moment towards Randy. How dare the viper assuming that if he took pills once he'd be an addict, how the fucking dare he suggest Punk was depressed and needed more help then he was receiving. That thought stop Punk in his tracks, and the anger disappeared and a sadness over took, it was so deep it almost brought Punk to his knees. What if Randy had suggested that he go inpatient because he was sick of him. What if Randy wanted him out of his life and this was the way he wanted to do it. What if Punk's clingyness, and needing Randy was too much? What if the viper didn't really love him? Punks thoughts raced and he turned away from the deck where Randy was playing with his daughter and tried to get control of his mind. I'm broken, I'm so broken right now he briefly thought. I am meeting a five-year old girl and can not hold my thoughts and emotions together long enough to do this. He pushed open the basement door and descended to the basement walking into the gym. He sat on the weight bench and leaned forward trying to calm his heart and breathing, realizing that he was having a panic attack. He heard foot steps on the stairs and wanted to scream would have if he could have caught his breath. He just needed a few minutes alone to calm down, he needed to turn his mind off and focus not have someone staring at him while he freaked out.
He felt a hand on his knee and opened his eyes he had squeezed shut. He took in the pink nails and the petite fingers and glanced up then down to his left. He took in the red shirt and tutu and the blonde pigtail and quickly looked behind her at Randy shaking his head no. He was not stable right now and could lash out at Randy's daughter and that would hurt Randy. "Sweetie come on lets go see Uncle John and let Phil work out for a few minutes." Alanna shook her head and climb up into Punk's lap, not noticing the man tensing.
"Nope I want to stay with Phil, you said he was going to be my step-daddy soon so I'm staying right here." She turned and stared at Punk smiling. "Hi I'm Alanna, and Randy's my daddy he says he is going to marry you soon. SO you are going to be my daddy too. That is pretty cool I get to have two daddies. Are you going to buy me gifts, Daddy gets me gifts. I like princess stuff, and horses, and also barbies. So you can get me any of that stuff. You know when I breathe funny I use my inhaler, do you have an inhaler?" Punk was blinking at the girl but shook his head no. "Oh then you should breath into a paper bag. Daddy get a paper bag, don't just stand there go" she shooed her Randy from the room and Punk couldn't help but smirk at how whipped the little girl had her father.
"I'm better now" he told Alanna and the truth was his breathing had returned almost to normal and his heart had stopped trying to escape his chest. Alanna's rambling had made him focus and relax. "So hi, to you too. I'm Phil but everyone calls me Punk, you can call me Phil or Punk whatever you want. To answer your question yes I'm going to buy you gifts like your dad does. In fact I have a gift for you upstairs. I will keep your list of likes in mind for future presents though." She slid from his lap and grabbed his hand.
"Okay, I don't like Phil or Punk, and I call Daddy, daddy. So since Daddy says your going to be my daddy also I'm just going to call you dad. So dad why are we down here when my gift is upstairs, let's go!" She pulled on his hand and he followed in shock, was he really going to become a dad. He didn't want children, he never had. He so needed to evaluate his recent decisions and actions, also Randy needed to teach this girl not to be so trusting of strangers, how did she adapt to this situation so quickly. He followed her upstairs and through the kitchen seeing Randy pulling open cupboards muttering about finding a paper bag he had to chuckle and Randy looked over at him. "Dad where is my gift?"
"I already gave you your gift, I think you left it outside." Randy responded shaking his head at the blonde bottle of energy.
"Not you, Dad not Daddy learn the difference. Dad where is it?" She tugged on Punk's arm and he took a deep breath, Randy was beaming at how quickly she had accepted Punk while Punk was having a mental breakdown about it.
"Living room, its in the living room Alanna." She rushed to the living room pulling Punk along as Randy followed. She looked around and then looked expectantly at Punk. He pointed to the coffee table where a princess gift bag sat, he'd been made aware of Alanna's like and dislikes by her Uncle John. Punk watched as she ran to the bag and felt an arm wrap around his waist, he leaned back against Randy's body trying to finishing relaxing completely.
"She likes you, that is actually hard to accomplish. I wasn't sure how she was going to handle the whole situation." Randy whispered this into Punk's ear and he felt a small sense of satisfaction at the fact that Randy's daughter was accepting him. Punk watched as she ripped into the bag, opening the small box inside and squealing with delight.
"Look Uncle John, look what Dad Punk got me." She held out the charm bracelet that had a horse charm, a small crown, and her initials. There was space for more charms in the future that Punk planned to fill up once he got to know the girl and figured out her personality beyond what Randy had told him. Punk tensed at the word dad with his name following it.
"Fuck me" he whispered loud enough for Randy to hear but not Alanna.
"I will as soon as you are cleared for that kind of activity. For right now dry humping is all you get." Punk rolled his eyes and turned to slap the man behind him lightly.
"Not what I mean and behave yourself. Besides I was cleared three days ago, didn't I mention that to you?" Randy shook his head no and whispered again in Punk's ear.
"Nope but as soon as your ready and my daughter is not in the room I am going to show you exactly who the best in the world is." Punk blushed and shook his head at Randy to shut him up he leaned up and kissed him. Randy deepened the kiss, until he heard his daughter go ewww. HE pulled back and saw John covering Alanna's eyes and chuckling. Sh e pushed John away and ran over to Punk hugging his legs.
"Thank you it is very pretty. Come on Dad lets go play. She dragged Punk out towards the deck where he found himself participating in a princess tea party complete with boa's and play jewelry.
Randy walked into the kitchen several hours later after putting Alanna to bed and walked over to Punk. He glanced up tiredly from the table at the man he loved, he hated to admit it but meeting Alanna had been fun, and by the end of the day he was responding to dad naturally without hesitation. "She is adorable Randy, though it seems odd that I have a daughter, or will once we are married. Though don't worry I'll let you handle all the dad duties." Randy sat beside him and took Punk's hand.
"She is kind of cute except when she throws a tantrum, not so adorable. Yes you have a daughter who seems to adore you even over her Uncle John. I want you to be her father in every way and have already talk to Sam about this. You are allowed to put her in time out and teach her things. When she is older feel free to ground her, and kill her boyfriends. You will be her dad and I will not stand in your way of that. You look tired, so lets head up to bed. However want to tell me what happened earlier. You looked angry, then, sad, then panicked, so want to tell me why. Plus I don't think you did because they would have kicked your ass but did you take the pills Phil?" Pun closed his eyes briefly before looking back at Randy.
"Thank you for putting the trust of helping you raise your daughter in me. I may not be the best role model for a little girl though. I've been a bit wild in my life and there are shoot interviews to prove it. My own head was fucking with me earlier I'm over it right now and don't feel like bringing those emotions up. I'll talk to Conner about it at my next appointment. No I didn't take them, I'm straight edge so no drugs." Punk didn't tell Randy he still had the pills, he didn't know his plan for them yet. "I'm not ready for bed, being tired doesn't matter for me remember insomniac I will crash when my body lets me. I want to spend some time with Colt I feel like I may be neglecting and lashing out at my best friend a lot lately. Why don't you go hang with John for a while, have some guy time with somebody besides me. It's still early, I promise I will go to bed with you in a few hours." Randy shook his head slowly, standing he leaned down and kissed Punk.
"Fine go spend some time with Colt, but I'm at not spending time with John. Why would I want to do that, I don't even like him. You could sleep if you tried I bet." Punk stood and wrapped his arms around Randy.
"Stop being mean to John-Boy. I told you he helped us, so forgive him already. Beside you trust him to keep me safe, and he is your daughter's god father so suck it up. Go hang with him, have a few drinks and enjoy yourself. I'm going to g play video games with Colt and make some prank phone calls or something." Randy sighed but let Punk leave the room going to find John.
Punk stared at Colt shaking his head slowly his eyebrows raised. "What?" he questioned his best friend hoping he hadn't heard the question he just asked.
"How big is Randy's dick and does it hurt? It's a pretty simple question so spit out the answer Punk." Punk leaned back on the bed and focused on the TV ignoring Colt. He was not talking to Colt about his sex life ever. Colt waited staring at Punk knowing he would break eventually.
"Okay Randy's penis is off-limits, not talking about it. Does have a guy inside of you hurt" It depends on how well you've been prepped and if you use lube. It hurts the first time no matter what Colt. Haven't you ever bottomed before?" Colt laughed at Punk and he rolled his eyes.
"No I'm not gay Punk. I have never been with a guy and if I was I wouldn't be the one on the bottom."
"Oh so I shouldn't set you up with Cody then. Got it, but just FYI I am not always on the bottom. Randy likes when I ride him from the top sometimes." Colt groaned and shoved Punk gently.
"That is not what I meant, and wait who? Cody who?" Punk rolled his eyes at his friend shoving him back.
"Rhodes, you moron. Randy's ex, he is single and I thought you would be good together. But if you're not interested I will set him up with someone else." Colt seem to hesitate for a few minutes while Punk went back to the video game, though planning on returning to his room shortly he had seen Randy go by awhile ago and knew he would be waiting.
"So he dated Randy, that makes him like you. I mean it wouldn't hurt to see what it would be like and he is nice looking. I guess I could call him, maybe go out sometime. Do you have his number?" Punk wrinkled his nose thinking on if he wanted Colt to ask Cody out now but deciding it was none of his business if they went out pulled his cell phone from his pocket. He tossed it to Colt after unlocking the phone. Colt copy the number into his own phone going to toss it back to Punk and stopping he leaned over and ran his hand along Punks hip. Retrieving the pill that had slipped from his pocket as Punk pulled his phone out. He held it up for a moment and the n held it out to Punk. Punk took the pill back shoving it back into his pocket waiting for the lecture. When it didn't come he looked at his best friend. "What no lecture? You just giving it back and not saying a word?" Colt crossed his arms and but back the response he wanted to give.
"Nope, no lecture though I could give you one if you really want. Have a great one all prepared, it's about your beliefs and not letting Paul win. How you are stronger than taking pills. How you don't want to go down your father's path. Its pretty awesome but I'm gonna refrain because if you chose to take pills or do drugs I can't stop you. We work in an industry where you could make a phone call and have any drug you wanted brought to you on a silver platter. Though Vince's straight edge superstar, golden boy failing drug tests and getting suspended well I'm pretty sure it will ruin your career. Not to mention the position you put Randy in, a recovering addict living with a user not a pretty picture for either of you. So no no lecture just a gentle reminder that you have more to lose then you think, and thought it make not feel like it right now, you have a lot farther to fall. I hear a fall from grace bruises the soul and don't know how many more hits you can take." Punk didn't respond to colt for a few minutes finally glaring at the man.
"That felt like a lecture ya know. I don't need a lecture from you, after all the times I've taken care of your ass. Its two little pills doesn't make me an addict, maybe I've decided straight edge isn't for me. That its stupid and I'm tired of doing what everyone expects from me. There is no law that says I have to be straight edge you know. I'm going to fucking bed, call Cody and ask him out. I'll see you in the morning and also take your "non" lecture and shove it." Punk stood storming from the room knowing he would have to apologize to his best friend in the morning. That seemed to be his pattern lately, yell at Colt, apologize to Colt. He figured it was because lashing out at Colt was safe, he knew the man would always forgive him.
Punk went into his bedroom finding Randy flipping through channels. The younger man smiled at him as he headed to the bathroom. He pulled off his shirt planning on getting ready for bed, he examined the fading bruises in the mirror wondering if all the marks from Paul would ever leave his body, not just the visible wounds though. He heard a knock at the bedroom door and Randy yelling to come in. He walked over pressing his ear to the bathroom door ease dropping curious who would come at this time of night. He could hear Colt and the news he shared make Punk back away from the door. They found Paul, they knew where he was and the security team was moving in to take him into custody. Punk walked backwards until his back hit the wall, when he had not place left to go he slid to the floor bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He needed to make a decision and quickly, he knew Randy would go, he knew Randy would do anything to Paul he requested and never think if the consequences but Punk had. The only difference was Punk could probably kill the man and get away from it he was stalking him and had attacked him. Punk had to decided if he could face Paul himself or allow Randy to do it, or ask Randy to let it go. He remembered the pills and wondered if they would push back the panic and fear that was starting he needed to think. He pulled the pills from his pocket holding them flat in his hand. He ignored the opening of the bathroom door, didn't look up to see Randy leaning against the door jamb studying his every move. His only focus was on the pills and the relief they could give him. He lifted his hand to his mouth placing the pills on his tongue he hesitated to swallow. There was no turning back, he had to make a choice a decision, swallow and say goodbye to straight edge, or spit them out and prove he was stronger than Paul and all the hell he had been through. He looked up and steel-blue met pale green, one's eyes filled with resignation, one filled with determination. Both questioned the look in their lovers eyes.
Thank you so muck for all the love you have giving this story. Everyone who review motivates me to continue. You people are amazing and rock! Tell me what you think does Punk swallow the pills or spit them out. How does Randy react, what should happen to Paul? Review and let me know what you think.