Punk spoke softly his voice breaking at several times, yet he continued on even when Randy wished he would stop. He told him the truth behind his childhood, the abuse, the neglect, the pain he experienced and he left no detail out. By the end of his confession Randy wanted to find Punk's dad and kill him slowly but knew that you do no good for either one of them so instead he pulled Punk as close as he could and tried to sooth his soul. "I love you Phillip and I want you to promise me something when you feel like the darkness is over taking come to me I'll be your light, hell if you've given up faith and feel lost I will help you believe and find your way home, but I need you to trust in us completely. No lying, no hiding trust me the way I trust you. Always meet me in the middle and promise to never leave." Punk smiled wiping at his eyes trying not to cry over the mushy words.
"I promise Randy, you and me forever. I trust you, I do more than anyone I have ever let in my life I trust you and with my past that's pretty incredible." Randy smirked and kissed him lightly.
One more question and then I promise I will stop bringing up your past. Paul mentioned that you had a drug issue when you were younger." Punk actually laughed snuggled into Randy's arm with a yawn.
"No, not a problem I experimented before I found straight edge, I was a nerdy child and hung out with older kids when I was thirteen, fourteen, they had bad habits and I wanted to fit into the mold I guess. Didn't work for me though, then I found my lifestyle and wrestling and everything changed. I was a very shy person for a long time very introverted, hell if it wasn't for me riding Colt's coattails when we first met I wouldn't have had any bookings. He helped me a lot along the way." Randy nodded seeing that this would easily be true Punk hid his emotions a lot until they all spilled out in some unhealthy ways that was something they were going to work on together.
"Colt's been a really good friend to you through the years. Have you two ever thought that there was something more their." Punk laughed loudly and for a long time tears coming to his eyes and grabbing his side.
"No" he finally answered "never Colt is like my obnoxious brother the very idea is just ew. Though I will have to tell him you asked that he will get a kick out of it." Punk kissed Randy lightly standing and finding his clothes he began to get dressed.
"Where ya going?" Punk looked at Randy sprawled across the bed in all his naked glory muscle on display and he almost returned to the bed.
"To face the firing squad, though if you don't stop looking at me like I'm your next meal I may not leave this room." He picked up Randy's pants and chucked them at him. "Get dressed I want to get this over with I dread hearing everyone's speech as it is. Plus the sooner this is done the sooner I get my life back on track." Randy pulled on his own clothing follow Punk from the room, noticing the crowd hadn't shrunk and the doctors had stayed. He turned red at what they probably heard but shrugged he warned all of them.
"Alright who's first" asked Punk looking around the room three of his friends stood and pointed to the balcony, he just followed Joe, Hero, and Ace outside breathing in the cool evening air. He sat and faced his three friends. "alright hit me with it, your disappointed in me, I'm better than this shit and need help." All three nodded and looked at each other.
"What I want to say is simple, when you first came to get trained you were this skinny, dirty, brat. Through the years I have watched you grow into a man who I respect and never thought would run from the hard stuff. I started as your mentor, now I consider us friends and hate when you shut down on all of us. So in the future if we reach out answer us, and if you need to reach out know we are here for you. I am concerned with the relationship you find yourself in right now Chez has told us some pretty horrific things so I would like that to be cleared up if you wouldn't mind." Ace spoke and Punk realized he was running lately and needed to deal with something right now he stood walking into his living room and looking at Chez.
"You, I love you but that man right there" he stated pointing at Randy "he is the love of my life, my soul mate and I am so tired of hearing you put him down, and tell everyone how horrible he is. You don't have to like him, but respect my relationship, and respect me to know what is good for me. HE has helped me, and saved me in ways you can never comprehend. Is he an ass absolutely, does he usually have an agenda yeah, but if I recall I'm kind of exactly like that. Has he been the best boyfriend in the world no, but neither have I. Does he treat me bad, or try to control me, absolutely not. He knows our boundaries and respects them and just so everyone knows, when he seems to be speaking down to me it's because we are in a relationship that's alternative, in other words he's my dom and I happen to really love being his sub. Also we are engaged I am going to marry him. So anyone here who can not accept our relationship, who insisted on badmouthing him is not my family. So Chez keep your fucking mouth shut or the door is right fucking there use it." He walked over to Randy and laid a scorching kiss on the amused man. Then went back to the balcony shutting the door looking at his friends.
"I'm okay guys, I know I've been distant and shut down but it's going to be better, we are moving back to Chicago and I'm taking some time off of wrestling for a while. So I'll be around more and hopefully we can all spend some time together when I get out of my not rehab stint." They spoke for several minutes about nothing and everything before they exchanged hugs and returned to the living room, Punk waited for the next person, or persons. The door opened and John and Bryan walked out taking a seat. No one spoke for a few minutes taking in the city sounds and lights. "Thank you guys, you two have done a lot for Randy and I lately and don't think it goes unappreciated I know you've put your life on hold to help take care of me, and support Randy. I know I have to get my shit together or we won't make it and I promise that after today things are going to get better." Bryan moved and sat beside of him on the couch giving Punk a hug.
"Hey you two are our best friends and we understand what you've been going through more than anyone else in that room. We all have bad shit in our past and at the start John and I struggled with our own demons. Trust me you two are going to make it. I'm glad you know you need help, and I'm happy to be there when you need me. We have a long history I've known you longer than Randy, or John we had some great matched back in the day. Also don't worry I'm going to make sure your presence is felt every night I'm on TV. Maybe I'll start screaming it's clobbering time, or GTS people, oh or I could just shave my beard like wolverine and start mouthing off to everyone. Who knows I will think of something Johnny will help me." Punk laughed and pushed the smaller man lightly.
"Thank you for defending Randy, it may seem like a small thing to you but he hasn't had a lot of that in his life. I'm pretty sure he teared up in there, Chez left I think it was more from embarrassment I'm sure she will call you in a few days." John spoke as he moved to the other side of Punk throwing an arm over his shoulder. "We didn't put our life completely on hold, he bought a house together its a few blocks from here hope you don't mind. Also seeing you guys with Alanna made us realize that its time for us to have our own little prince or princess. The surrogate is already pregnant so you will be Uncle Punk soon. Now I'm going to hug you quickly since Randy is glaring this way, think he is ever going to get over our little thing?" Punk laughed hugging John and looking into the living room sticking his tongue out at Randy who just winked at him.
"He is over it, just trying to terrorize you. Let him have his fun he needs to laugh a little its been a long time since we've been happy. Congrats you two I'm happy for you both. I look forward to spoiling the little one as I'm sure you will do when Randy and I are ready for that step." He pulled them both into a group hug and laugh as John tickled him, smiling when he heard Randy clearing his throat from the door. He looked up at him innocently "What babe, problem." Randy growled and walked over to John dragging him back into the house. Punk laughed as did Bryan "Seriously Daniel I'm glad I have you in my life to talk to about the stuff I'm sure Randy is going to want to do to me in the future now that we are being intimate again." Daniel laughed and stood.
"Good luck with that and know there will be growing pains, and testing limits in that area just remember if you don't like something tell him I didn't at first with John and we went through a lot of shit because I wouldn't be vocal, or use my safe word. Don't forget he loves you way more then he loves dominating you and would never go out of his way to torture you its all about pleasure for both of you." Punk chuckled stretching as he stood. "Colt is going to come out here next and be prepared you may not realizing everything he is going to say to you. Just let him get it all of his chest, he's been holding some stuff inside for a long time and came to John and I about it. We told him to be honest so let him be." Punk looked confused but nodding watching as Daniel returned back inside. He saw Colt stand and wiped his hands on his jeans, Punk wondered what he could be so nervous about but knew he was about to get his answers.
Colt came out and sat beside of Punk staring at the ground and Punk waited a serious Colt meant whatever they were about to talk about was deadly important. "I love you Phil"
"I love you to Colt, whats going on." Colt shook his head no and Punk swallowed hard hoping this was not going the way he thought.
"No you don't understand I'm in love with you, have been for years just never told you. Never thought you were gay or that I would have a chance with you. I know you love Randy and I'm happy for you I just needed you to know, see if maybe there was even a glimmer of hope. I know there is not, I get that but ever since the early days when you use to cuddle into me while we slept in cars, or hotels, or on floors I've been head over heels in love with you. I'm sorry I don't want to mess up our friendship, I need you in my life and I will take you anyway I can have you but I needed to get this off my chest before you married him and I lost any right to tell you the truth." Punk was stunned and trying to find the right words to tell Colt he leaned his head back on the couch looking at the stars, thinking of Colt's words and felt blind how had he never seen this coming. In truth he probably had known for a long time but it was Colt and he wasn't any good at relationships and never wanted to hurt Colt that way. He blinked back tears, no matter what this was going to change things between the two he knew that and Colt had to know that also.
"Damn it, god damn it Colt" he whispered. He pulled out his cell phone and texted Randy requesting he go into the bedroom and stop watching the two of them needed to deal with this without Randy's eyes on him. He saw Randy look at his phone confused but he stood and walked to the hallway motioning for John to go with him. Punk reached out and took Colt's hand taking a very deep breath. "I can't say it never cross my mind Scott, hell I don't. . ." he paused trying to figure out his own emotions at that moment. "I'm in love with you too" he whispered softly and Colt looked up at him for the first time. Colt reached out and wiped the tears from Punk's face cupping his cheek
"It's too late isn't it" Colt's voice broke as he asked the question and Punk nodded.
"In the past maybe we could have had something that would have exploded in our faces, because until Randy I have never been ready for a serious relationship. But now it's always going to Randy Scott. I'm sorry there is no chance of us ever, Randy is my other half and you are going to find yours too it just isn't me. We've been so entangled in each others lives and you've been the person I've turned to for so long I don't want to lose you but I will always chose him. You're too late, you came along one promise too late. I want you as my best friend always, but I understand if you need time or space. I'm so sorry" Punk tried to stem the tears wanting to comfort Colt the other man now crying himself. He hugged him tightly and felt Colt stiffen knowing already their relationship had changed.
"I knew this, I've known since the first time you looked at Randy that he was it for you, I guess I was just hoping that maybe I could change your mind. I guess I should have spoken up a long time ago. I'm still here Punk not going anywhere, we will always be best friends lets just forget this conversation ever happened. Can I ask you one small favor, well maybe two." Punk knew this conversation couldn't be shoved under the proverbial rug but if Colt was willing to try so would he. He nodded and waited to find out what the favors were that Colt wanted. "Can you not mention this to Randy and could I kiss you just once so that I'm not curious any longer." Punk wiped his eyes and sniffed very child like wiping his nose on his hoodie.
"I can't do one of those, I have to tell Randy we have had too many secrets lately and I promised him no more. One kiss that's it, it is all I can give you." Colt took a deep breath and placed his hand on Punks face leaning forward. Punk felt him hesitantly touch his lips to his own, and wanted to roll his eyes. He put his arms around Colts neck and pushed his lips firmly to Colt's if he wanted one kiss they were going to do this right Randy wasn't going to kick his ass over a peck. Colt still hesitated but Punk parted his lips when Colt's tongue wanted entrance and soon all hesitancy was gone and Colt's tongue was tangling with Punk's. Punk felt a spark one he wasn't expecting, not as intense as the one with Randy but still there. He didn't stop Colt as his hands began exploring, nor when Colt pulled him onto his lap. He just let the kiss continue despite the fact he should pull away if this was going to be there swan song he wanted to memorize Colt. 'Scott" he moaned against his lip as his friend groped his crotch. Punk finally pulled his mouth away new tears falling down his face. Colt had his eyes closed and continued to grope Punk not wanting the moment to end. Punk's breathing was heavy and he fought with himself Colt's hands on him felt good and he knew that if it continued he would get off but this was just encouraged Colt and setting him up to be let down harder. He reached down and grabbed Colt's hand pulling it up he slid further onto his lap wrapping his arms around him in a hug. Colt did the same he felt Colt's erection against his own he felt Colt grind against him and allowed it for a moment. "I'm sorry Scott, so sorry" he whispered kissing the side of Colt's neck and standing rushing across to the other side of the balcony with his back turned away trying to gather himself before he spoke again. He heard the balcony door open and close and quickly turned Colt was gone he headed for the door and saw Colt run out of the apartment, he went inside quickly going to rush after him. "Colt please wait, Colt" he called and the front door just slammed in his face. Punk leaned against the door in frustration, wanting to give chase but having a feeling that it would make things worse he saw Cody come out of the kitchen with Daniel and grabbed his arm shoving Cody out the door "go after him, he needs you" he snapped at the clueless man "Colt go after him he just ran out of here" Cody raised an eyebrow but hurried off.
Punk turned to Daniel "You couldn't have warned me a little bit better Bryan? I just got fucking blindsided" He slid down to the floor his back against the door.
"It wasn't my place to tell you. I take it that didn't go well." Punk laughed tiredly a weary exhaustion taking over he just put his head in his hands and sobbed. Not just for Colt but for everything that may have been the one thing that could break the dam on his emotions and now he felt out of control again. Punk felt arms wrap around him and lifted his head to bury his face into the shirt of the man he loved. His arms and smell bringing comfort. "I just broke his heart, I lost my best friend what am I going to do now?" Randy's arms tightened around him and he was lifted from the floor Randy settled them on the couch Punk in his lap just letting the smaller man cry it out. Every time the tears seemed to be stopping they came back harder, Randy was worried about Punk hyperventilating but just whispered words of comfort. "I am so fucking stupid, how could I not see what was right in front of my face. Why did I let it get as far as it did, how I am so stupid. How can you still love me after what he did. I pretend it doesn't matter but it does he was inside of me. He touched me and I fucking enjoyed it. Why do I do this to myself, why does life do this to me. I thought if there was a fucking god he only gave you what he could handle well I can't handle this shit. I can't handle anymore sometimes I wish he had just killed me it would have been easier." It took a second for Randy to switch gears and for his mind to go from Colt to Paul. "I hate myself, I never noticed he was stalking me, how do you not realize that. My own fucking best friend is in love with me and I never noticed, I am such a stupid idiot I don't know how to fix any of this. How do I stop wanting to curl up and die, how do I get my best friend back. I let him kiss me, I should have known better but he asked and I didn't want to hurt him anymore but I did alls I ever do is hurt people. I am so miserable I just want to take a bunch of pills and go to sleep and never wake up. I hate my fucking life." Randy was overwhelmed John had given him a heads up a few days ago about Colt's feelings which is why he had asked Punk earlier but he had a feeling the smaller man had been truthful with his answer. Yet he didn't expect this conversation to break Punk down this bad. He finally took a deep breath looking towards his friends and the doctors. Not sure exactly how to comfort Punk or handle the words he was sobbing out. He finally lifted his chin and made Punk look at him.
"Stop it, you don't get to give up, if you give up on yourself you give up on us. I know there doesn't seem to be a silver lining right now but that is why you are going to get help. Killing yourself is not an option ever. Do you understand me ever" Punk nodded the sobs lessening "What Paul did is not your fault and you will have to learn to accept that, therapy is going to help you do that. I love you because I couldn't fathom not, Life without you is not a possibility now for me, don't ever for a second doubt that if you want to be with Colt I would fight for you but also understand. You and Colt will fix this I promise right now you both need a good night sleep and tomorrow you will reach out and start trying to mend things. I have no fear that in a few months when we get married he will be standing at your side as your best man whether or not I have to chain him in place he will be there. As far as kissing him I don't want to know, but I don't think you met to cause him anymore pain. You are not stupid or blind you just believe that there is good in everyone and chose to see that. You need to stop trying to be strong all the time, and put on a façade its okay for you not to handle everything on your own, that's why you have me now. You also have people who will support you in every way imaginable. I love you and it was not your fault do you understand me it was not your fault" Punk took a deep breath chewing on his lip ring wanting to believe Randy but it was difficult. Randy stood scooping up Punk "We are going to bed its been a long day, the doc can pick out a place and arrange for your admission, we are going to sleep and when we get up you will call or text Colt. Until then you are not going to think about it because if you stay away all night worrying about this it will drive you further insane. I may dig crazy guys but insanity is a little harder to find hot." Punk chuckled and looked over to the doctors his tears finally having stopped.
"My only request is that the place has a gym or someplace I can run." They both nodded and Punk looked at Cena and Bryan "You guys can stay in the guest room if you want I'm sorry for once again screwing up your day." Randy scoffed and headed up the hallway
"There day was fine, not like they were going to do anything but fuck like bunnies which is just gross. We made sure they didn't have the chance of go us. They are staying in the guest room have to help me finish unpacking in the morning" he informed Punk as he laid him down in their bedroom, he stripped the man down to his boxers and removed his own clothing. He laid down beside him pulling the blankets up over the two.
"Unpacking?" Punk inquired his eyelids already getting heavy.
"Yes what did you think all those boxes were? I brought my shit and was organizing yours. Though you now get the honor of taking Alanna to make me a new mug vase type thing at a pottery shop since you threw it at my head." Punk lifted his head and looked around the room seeing all kinds of Randy's stuff mixed with his own and mouthed oh. A warm feeling of home taking over and he smiled. "You kissed Colt?" Punk nodded tiredly and Randy leaned down claiming Punk's lips he kissed him and Punk swore he saw fireworks. This was where he belonged and he was going to fight to keep this feeling for the rest of his life.
The next morning Randy was making coffee while Punk played with his phone, debating on if he should text or call Colt. He was heading out that afternoon to the facility in Florida and wanted to at least talk to Colt before he left. He wrote out a text Hey can we meet up? his finger hovering over send when Randy walked over and hit the button. Punk frowned at him but jumped when a text came back quickly. Hi yourself, I guess where? Punk tried to think of a neutral place and smiled he and Colt usually worked out there shit best in a ring Meet me at domain you still have a key? Punk placed a quick call to make sure the building would be empty and while he was on the phone felt it vibrate. Of course I'll see you there in 45 bring your gear. Your ass is getting back in the ring before you get too rusty. Punk smiled and went to his bedroom gathering his gear he headed out to the kitchen giving Randy a kiss and letting him know where he would be. Punk was early and stood outside the training facility hoping Colt would show. He braced himself against the cold and watched the street smiling when he saw Colt's car here we go hope I can make this right he thought.
Thank you for reading I feel bad for Colt in this chapter but hopefully Punk can make it up to him in the next one. If my Punk muse had his way there would be some good Punk/Colt smut lol I'm not letting him win on that though. Please review and tell me your thoughts.