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Previously: Kate Beckett has just suffered the loss of her captain and then has her boyfriend, Josh, attempt to rape her later that evening.
II
There was only blinding rage, heartbreaking pain and then nothing. Numbness had struck its chord, winding its way through every crevice of her body. Kate Beckett stumbled blindly through the streets of New York City, only her feet knowing exactly where she was heading.
Kate remained oblivious to the frequent number of startled stares from passersby, taking in her battered appearance. Her hair was plastered to the sides of her face from the rain lashing against her pale skin. The buttons on her t-shirt no longer did their job as the top hung in tatters over her body. Red marks lined various surfaces of her skin, the lasting evidence of a violent attack. Many people had tried to stop her as she raced in and out of the crowd but none of them succeeded.
Her bare feet finally came to a halt outside a large, prestigious building. It glowered over her like an omen. It only took her a few moments for her to realise where she had arrived and the significance was huge. Kate felt as though she was on the edge of a precipice - her only options were to fall over the edge and topple into the waiting darkness or go ahead with this meeting. She chose the latter, walking swiftly into the building.
She silenced the doorman with a stare as he tried to make his way towards her. He knew who she was; he'd seen her here plenty of times before. Now was no different, unless you took in the fact that she looked like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. Kate made her way towards the elevator and before she knew it, she was standing outside Richard Castle's apartment.
Suddenly this didn't seem like a good idea. What if Martha was home? Even worse, what if Alexis was home? Before she could even contemplate about turning around and heading somewhere else, the door opened.
Kate heard a sharp intake of breath as the face of Richard Castle loomed in front of her own. He stumbled forwards, raising his hand towards her face before stopping suddenly as if remembering with whom and where he was. A flurry of emotions swept over his face so fast Kate wasn't sure what he was feeling, or thinking for that matter. He seemed to disregard whatever conflicted emotions he had been feeling and inched forwards, wrapping his arms firmly around Kate before she could object. Emotion swelled within her; gently breaking the dam she'd worked so hard to build up around herself on the way over to his house.
They stood like that for a long while - Kate enveloped in the warmth of Castle's arms as the tears leaked slowly down her cheeks. It was Castle who made the first move, drawing away from their embrace. Kate missed the warmth and comfort that such a small and simple thing could bring her. He trailed his hand down her arm, grabbing her hand, pulling her inside as he shut the door.
No one had spoken a word and the silence was deafening. Castle left Kate to her own devices in the living room as he ventured off towards the kitchen. When he returned a few moments later with a bottle of wine and two glasses, Kate stood firmly in the same position he had left her in, staring after him looking slightly lost. He beckoned her to sit opposite him on the sofa, handing her a glass of wine.
It seemed as though an age had passed before anyone broke the silence.
'Kate,' said Castle, staring at her earnestly. His eyes roving over her body helplessly, not sure of what exactly he was supposed to do.
'Castle-'
'Kate… what happened? You can talk to me, you know… Kate… please.'
'Don't Castle… just,' Kate admonished, trying to look anywhere that wasn't at Castle. 'Not right now.'
'No,' Castle said, shocking them both. 'You came to me. I know it's hard for you to open up to someone – anyone – and talk about how you feel but dammit I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I know you hate it when I push and prod into your life but god help me I'll do it.' Castle took a deep breath before continuing, 'Is this about Montgomery? Has someone hurt you?'
He faltered there fearing that he'd hit the mark. He wanted to be wrong. He wanted to be so badly wrong, Kate could see it written all over his face. She was hurt more than she even wanted to admit. This wasn't her. This wasn't Kate Beckett. She never ran away from a fight, she took it head on and tried her darn hardest to make sure she won and came out the other side. The woman who had fled her own apartment instead of kicking the piece of shit that had caused her pain to the kerb was not the woman she was. Kate never sought for help if she could help it and yet here she was, in Castle's living room.
'Don't shut me out, Kate. I want to help you. Please, just let me help you.'
Kate felt angry and she hadn't the slightest inclination as to why. Before she knew what she was doing, she was on her feet and heading towards the door but she never made it that far. Castle grabbed her by the shoulders, swirling her around until she faced him.
'Kate.'
'You don't know how I'm feeling, Castle,' Kate said.
'Then tell me. I was there too, you know.'
'Oh shut up, Castle. You think you know everything but you don't! I have had to watch my Captain sacrifice his life. His life, Castle,' Kate emphasised. 'He had a wife and kids. A family and I took that from him.'
'Kate, you never-'
'Castle,' Kate replied sharply. She felt the anger rear its ugly head within her, her tears desperate for release. 'Just let me finish.'
'S-s-s-sorry,' he stammered.
'He had a family. I know what it's like to lose a parent and those poor kids are going to have to go through that,' Kate said, her tears once again falling freely. 'and... and he knew. He had known the whole time.'
Kate was treading on fragile territory, 'Montgomery had taken me in. He watched as I slaved over my mother's case file, night and die trying to fit the pieces together. To find out why someone had murdered her.'
The remaining threads holding her intact became loose, her pain evident in her face, her voice and her actions. Kate's body shook with the intensity of her sobs, her walls crumbling around her. Castle tried to drag her closer to his body but she fought him off. Her fists pounded against his chest as she allowed the anger to flood out of her body.
'Kate... Kate,' Castle said trying to still her attack.
Her fist connected with his chest one last time before she collapsed in on him, causing Castle to slide down the wall - he hadn't realised he was up against – to the floor. Kate lay curled up in Castle's arms as the tears continued to overwhelm her body. He wrapped his arms around her, drawing Kate closer to his body as though he was trying to take away her pain.
'H-he tried to r-rape me,' Kate murmured in between sobs.
She felt Castle stiffen beneath her, his arms suddenly felt like manacles around her body holding her in place.
'Who, Kate? Who?'
'Josh'
'That bastard,' Castle murmured to no one in particular, drawing Kate even closer to his body that if anyone had passed by it would have been hard to differentiate between whose body parts where whose. Kate's head now rested in the crook of Castle's neck as his hand gently combed through her knotted hair. He murmured nonsense words into her ear which only propelled her further into despair.
'Look at me, Kate,' Castle said, placing his finger gently under her chin, lifting her head. 'You did nothing wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Do you understand me?'
She nodded once avoiding his gaze. This wasn't who she was; Kate chided herself for the millionth time that evening. Kate Beckett showed no signs of weakness to anyone. She prized herself as being a figure of strength and respect and that was an image she wanted to maintain. And yet, she just couldn't do it. Castle had managed to break through those walls and see her in her most vulnerable state. She needn't cared nor had the strength to rectify that. For now, she would enjoy his comfort and build back each brick, one by one.
Movement beneath her shifted Kate out of her reverie. Castle hauled her to her feet making sure she was steady before casting some distance between them. He was hesitant, Kate could tell. He didn't know what to do but she knew he'd do whatever it took. Castle grabbed the coat hanging on the back of the sofa and slung it over Kate's shoulders.
'I'm going to take you home and I'm going to get you cleaned up,' Castle said. 'I'll stay with you for as long as you need me. Okay?'
'Thank you, Rick,' Kate said, staring at him earnestly, leaning ever so slightly into his chest.
Before Castle could say anything in response there was a disturbance on the staircase behind them.
'Dad?'
Castle stiffened a moment before turning around to face his daughter.
'Hey, Pumpkin.'
'Is that Detective Beckett? Is she alright? Do you want me to do something?' Alexis asked.
Castle ran his hands up and down the upper arms of his daughter in a comforting gesture, 'Everything's fine, sweetie. Kate and I just have to sort a few things to out, okay?' Castle said. 'Do you have a spare pair of flip flops that Kate can borrow?'
Before the sudden change of events fully registered in Kate's mind, Alexis was once again bounding down the stairs with a pair of flip flops in hand. Confusion and fear were etched over the young girls face. Whether it was worry for herself of Castle, she wasn't sure.
As if on cue, Martha marched through the door, halting as she took in her surroundings. She cast a curt glance at her son and granddaughter hovering by the stairs but her gaze was caught by the fragile being a few feet away from the door. Everyone stared as she walked over to Kate Beckett and wrapped her arms around her.
'I hope you get whoever did this to you, Kid. Talk to me anytime,' Martha said, releasing Kate from her grasp.
'Martha?'
'Yes, Detective.'
'Thank you.'
'Anytime,' Martha replied, with a smile.
A/N: Super, super sorry that this chapter took so long to be posted but I will make sure that the next chapter is up next week. If not, harass me until it is.