[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to SM
**Reese's Peanut Butter Cupcake**
I hate School more than anything and the fact that I have to go there every week day is like pure torture for me. My attempts on convincing my parents to quit haven't brought the result I hoped for. Mom doesn't understand why I want to, for my grades are currently way better than Emmett's and of course it's way too humiliating to tell her that I'm being bullied by my classmates. I envy Emmett so much and I would very gladly change his crappy grades with him anytime if it meant me getting something comparably close to a social life. I want to be popular, even if it's just for one day, just to know how that feels like.
Everyone keeps making fun of me because I'm fat and I feel so much like punching all those shitheads into their stupid grinning faces. I don't do it though because I was raised better. I was raised to be a nice girl who smiles a lot. So, I swallow all the crap they throw at me and try to comfort myself by nibbling on a Reese's cupcake in the desperate hope that the delicious combination of peanut butter and chocolate will brighten up my mood.
It's not working, but I finish the package anyway and I take another sip from the bottle of water in front of me. I wonder if it's possible to pee out fat? Is that the reason why Bella wanted me to drink so much of this tasteless stuff? I miss my diet coke. Diet coke is like water, just with taste. Why did she forbid me to drink that?
Speak of the devil and…
"Morning, Alice. How's it going?" she asks me cheerfully, twisting around on the short excuse of a skirt she's wearing today. Her legs are toned and slim. I try not to look at them too long, it's too frustrating. She has the perfect body and I'm stuck in Fat-Assed-Land. It's so unfair.
What the fuck is she doing HERE?
"What are you doing here?" I stumble out trying to shove the empty foil back into the pockets of my jacket. It's too late. She's already seen it. How embarrassing.
"I'm here to bring Rosie some of her stuff that she's forgotten at home but the much more interesting question is; what are you doing here outside?"
"I'm having lunch break." I mumble towards the ground.
"Firstly, Reese's Peanut Buttercup's are not what I would consider an appropriate food for lunch and secondly…why are you eating here and not in the cafeteria like the rest of the students."
"I just don't want to and what I'm having for lunch is not your business! I'm having a shitty day, so leave me alone." I snarl at her, hoping that she will just piss off now. I can't handle her being here and shoving it into my face how wrong everything is that I'm doing. I know that for myself but there isn't anything I can do against it.
She sighs and sits down next to me. I don't look up at her though and bury my face against my thighs.
"What you eat is my business, Alice. Do you always stuff down sweet stuff when you are upset?"
"I'm not upset." I whisper, trying to keep on breathing in and out very deeply through my nose. The tears are in my eyes again and I blink desperately so that they don't fall. I don't want to cry in front of her. She wouldn't understand and think me weak. Let's face it Cullen—you are weak.
Then I feel her arm around my shoulder and a split second later I'm cradled against her chest and she starts rubbing my back and my hair. It feels nice and although I still feel like crying it's so incredibly comforting that she cares. I don't understand why she cares because, listening to my embarrassing problems is sure as hell not part of her job arrangement.
"It's okay to feel upset when they are mean to you. Trust me; half of these morons are going to end up in shitty part-time jobs cleaning the houses that you are going to design." She stats after a few minutes.
"Did my Dad tell you about the architecture stuff?"
"He seems to enjoy talking about you a lot. Now, have you ever tried something else when you were upset apart from comforting yourself with candy?"
"I don't know."
"We'll find something. Do you have shoes to run with? It could help you to let off a bit of steam."
I was just starting to like this woman a tiny bit and now she's suggesting the most horrible thing on earth to me. Me and running? Is this supposed to be a sick joke?
"Do, I have to?" I whisper anxiously.
"Alice, let's make this clear. Your father is paying me whether you lose the weight or not. I'm not forcing you to do anything. It's your choice."
"I want to lose weight but running is just so terribly awful for me and…," I stop midsentence when I see Rosalie's skinny body walking towards us. Crap, now she's going to find out that her cousin is working as my Fat Coach. Earth, please, open up and swallow me. Do it, just do it right now.
"Hi Bella, thanks for bringing me my books,"
"You are welcome, honey."
"What are talking here with her? That's Emmet's annoying sister Belly-Ali."
"Rose, stop calling her that name. It's just childish and rude."
"But it's funny."
"Does it look as if I'm laughing? Look, I want you to stop with this constant teasing. It's not fair."
"Are you her bodyguard now?" Rosalie mumbled, pulling another sugar-free gum out of her jeans. She's always chewing this stuff when she's not in class. I wonder how much weight I could lose if lived of nothing but water and this for a week. I bet the results would be fantastic.
"Bella, are you working for her or what?"
"No, I'm not, but I don't like it when you're being mean. I bet you're not too keen on letting your classmates see a picture of you with your braces and glasses on."
Miss Perfect wearing braces and glasses? Can, I have that picture please?
They talk to each other for a few minutes until the shrill sound of the bell makes me stand up again. On the way to our Chemistry class Rosalie places her manicured hand on my arm.
"Please don't mention the braces to anyone. I really don't want people to call me Rabbit Rosie to my face again. I had enough of that before we moved back here from Rochester three years ago."
"Your embarrassing secret is safe with me." I whisper, sitting down on my place in the last row. Instead of taking her seat next to Vera she drops her backpack on the seat next to me.
"Mind if sit here for this hour? I really need to improve my grades or my Mom is going to forbid me to see Emmett. She can't stand him anyway and insists that I'd better not broken up with Royce and…,"
"Miss Hale, Miss Cullen, would you like to share your conversation with the rest of the class?"
I bury my face in the book in front of me and somehow, in a wondrously way this day isn't as horrible as I expected it to be and when I sit down on the Dinner table a few hours later I'm almost happy. That is until my mother places the broccoli on my plate and we're not talking about that kind of broccoli underneath a thick layer of creamy cheese sauce. It's just awful, yucky, green broccoli.
Emmett rolls his eyes when Mom places some of it on his plate too.
"Why do I have to eat this crap just because she's fat? I don't need to lose weight."
"Right, son, what you need to do is to improve your grades and you better do that fast. I know you're not stupid just terribly lazy." Dad tells him, sipping on his wine.
"I'll get a Sport Scholarship anyway."
"Amen to that." Mom whispers, wiping her mouth on a napkin.
"Can Rosie come here for Dinner Saturday night?"
"Again? What's wrong with her eating at her own place? The two of you are spending too much time together." Dad stats, his face turning into a frown.
"Because we love each other,"
Because you like to dry hump each other and suck each other's faces whenever the opportunity presents itself; I wonder if they've already done it.
"Love, love, love, you don't even know what love is. Now, eat the broccoli and shut up."
Dad seems a bit tensed somehow and I bet that's because he's working too much. The trip to Paris is a wonderful idea, I wished they would allow me to come with them.
Somehow he doesn't like the fact that Emmett and Rosalie are dating. She's distracting him from School as he puts it but the truth is that my brother never had that much interest in studying even before he and the blonde cheerleader got together.
I wished I had someone to distract me from School…
Half-heartedly I nibble on the broccoli and when it is vanished from my plate I help Mom to load the dish washer before she walks up to her room to finish packing.
"No parties here while we are gone, are we clear about that, son?"
"But I'm still allowed to invite some friends over to hang out, am I?"
"Whatever hanging out means…," Dad mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.
"Just promise me that the furniture will be still intact when we come back from Europe."
I walk upstairs and take a shower, trying to avoid looking into the mirror on the wall. I don't want to look at myself naked. It's so soul-destroying. Everything is too round and too much and I hate my bloated stomach so badly I could pinch it.
Quickly, I change into a pair of comfy flannel pajamas and cuddle under my blanket. Then I pull out my beloved copy of Alice in Wonderland and start reading through the familiar pages. When I was a little girl I made Mom read the story to me every night before I went to sleep. I was obsessed with it and utterly convinced that I was the Alice from the book. Today, I know different of course but I still love the story and mostly the parts when Alice changes her size by drinking or eating something.
That's what I needed in real life—some sort of magic pill that will melt all my unnecessary body fat overnight. The thought makes me smile and with that smile on my face I drift into sleep.
The dream is weird, like all those kinds of dream when you exactly know that you are dreaming. I'm at School and everyone is cheering Belly-Ali and Wobble-Cullen after me and I'm sitting there and the tears are running down my face. It's a nightmare and I want so badly to wake up to end it but I can't. Then suddenly there is Bella and she pulls me out of the classroom. Her fingers wipe away the tears from my cheeks and when her mouth curls into a smile I can't help but smile back.
She leans forward very slowly and her lips touch against mine.
I wake up with my heart still racing in my chest and my skin covered in a thin layer of sweat. What in heaven's name was that supposed to be? I am not gay, so why am I dreaming about kissing her?
I replay the scene in my head over and over again and although I try very, very hard not to like it, I can't help it. She's so beautiful and I bet she knows how to kiss with tongue and all that stuff. Having my first kiss with her would surely be better than kissing any of the shitheads at school.