[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer
**Hershey Kisses**
For the very first time in my life I don't feel like eating anything at all. My nerves are too tensed, tensed because of her.
Since the kiss between us Bella has barely spoken one personal word to me and that is so incredibly painful to me. She comes here daily, checking my weight and instructing me to do more of these crappy exercises. Only good thing about them is that she needs to touch me now and then when I don't get them right myself.
Each time her fingertips touch a small glimpse of my skin…on my wrist or on my back; I feel tingles all over me.
I am so in desperately in love with her and she doesn't return my feelings at all.
Fuck. My. Life.
Why would she want to be with someone like me? I am fat and she's like the queen of fitness or something pretty close to that.
Maybe, maybe if my weight were closer to normal, maybe than I would somehow have the hint of a chance with her.
That hope is everything I have and so I'm setting my whole heart on it. During the last week I have managed to eat even less than my meal plan provides me with.
I am so very proud of myself and try to ignore the constant rumbling in my stomach or the unpleasant dizziness that overcomes me during our work out sessions. It's worst when I'm running. My body is so not meant for this jogging crap, but I keep going, forcing myself to set one foot in front of the other again and again while sweat pours down my forehead.
For a split second everything around me turns black and the next moment my head makes painful contact with the grass underneath me.
"Alice! Oh Alice, are you okay?"
A whimper escapes my throat and when I blink again, Bella is kneeling next to me, carefully cradling my head on her lap. The touch of her dainty fingertips against my temples feels so amazingly pleasant and I hope she won't stop touching me now.
"Are you feeling dizzy?"
I swallow hard and my voice cracks hoarsely when I speak up.
"A bit,"
"You're a very bad liar. For heaven's sake, Alice, if you are feeling dizzy during our run you have to tell me. You have to tell me when you need us to slow down. I don't want you to get hurt."
"Doesn't matter," I mumble before taking a small sip from the bottle of water she's lifting to my dry lips.
"What do you mean? You could have injured yourself severely, broken a bone or got a concussion. Please, you have to tell me the next time you feel bad."
"Like you cared!" I snarl, sitting up so abruptly that another wave of dizziness washes all over me. It makes my entire body tremble and when she wraps first her jacket, then her arm around my shoulder I start sobbing like a stupid baby.
"Like you cared! You are probably just worried that my father will fire you, if I twist an ankle or something under your watch. But he hired you mainly to get my weight down and that's working pretty fine, so don't pretend you care about my well-being."
She doesn't speak for a very long time but remains sitting next to me, caressing my back by stroking up and down with her fingertips.
I gulp down the entire content of both our bottles and eventually I start feeling a tiny bit better again.
"Do you honestly think that to be true? That I don't care about you being okay?"
I nod my head and pull a tissue out to clean my running nose. Right now, I probably look like crap with my reddish face and my teary eyes.
"Yes,"
"Well, it's not. I care about you. I care a lot. I care way more than it is good for both of us."
"But you haven't spoken one single private word to me since the kiss. Well, you have probably already forgotten about that completely, has been over a month now. "
"Alice…,"
"I'm going home now. I think I'm done with doing sports for today. Don't worry— my father is still going to pay you the entire fucking day."
"Alice, please…don't be like that."
"Like what?"
I try to stand up from the ground but my knees are still too shaky to steady me.
"You're acting as if I had another choice in this, when I so clearly don't have one."
She takes my hand between both of hers and starts rubbing my knuckles with her thumbs.
"I have not forgotten about the kiss. I think about it all the time although I keep telling myself how wrong it was."
"You regret it, don't you? Why? Because I'm a girl or because I'm a fat meatball? Stupid little Belly-Ali."
"For the hundredth time now, Alice, stop using such ugly words for yourself."
"Everyone does, so what does it matter?"
"It matters to me. It matters to me because you are so completely blind to see how amazingly beautiful you are. You are smart and kind and you make me laugh. Your hair is lovely and your mouth…God, your mouth is gorgeous and it felt so goddamn good against my own."
"You liked kissing me?"
She nods her head and a beautiful veil of bright pink tints her cheeks a moment later.
"It was still wrong to do it. Look, I wish so very much that things could be different for us. That I could not be depending on the money your father pays me for coaching you or that you could be older."
"It's not like torturing other people to run through the park is the only available job in this town."
"You make me feel like a tyrant. I'm helping people to get fit, that's a bit different from torturing them."
"For you…,"
She starts searching for something in the pockets of her jacket and eventually pulls out two little silver foiled Hershey Kisses.
"It's milk chocolate. They are my favorite."
"You should eat both of them. I don't need any extra calories."
"You need a bit of sugar right now."
"Do you give treats like that to all of your clients?"
"No. Just to you. That's just another proof that things are getting too complicated between us."
"I already told you they are just complicated because that's what you want them to be. I like you…you're kind of admitting that you like me too. Perhaps not as much as I like you but still enough to keep you thinking about the kiss. I want to do it again."
"No, Alice, we can't."
"Why?"
"Do you have any clue how hard it is for me right now not to pull you in my arms? Any clue how very much I want to kiss you until our mouths are all red and swollen? We can't be together like that. It's impossible."
I cup her face in my right hand and circle my forefinger over her lower lip, feeling it quiver underneath my fingertip.
"I want you and you want me. How can there be anything wrong with that?"
"Do you want the long or the short list of reasons?"
I raise one eyebrow, slowly standing up to walk towards the bench a few steps away from us. She nods her head and sits down next to me, crossing her legs underneath her backside.
"I like lists. They help me to focus."
"Well, then I would like to hear the long list of your reasons."
"Well, firstly, you are a minor and that…,"
"Jeez, I am seventeen and not twelve."
"Minor is still minor. You are at a completely different point in your life than I am."
I wouldn't exactly call High School a point in life, more like a current purgatory I have to endure Monday to Friday for the next two years.
"You should go out…date girls your own age. You'd find someone nice."
"I don't get along too well with people my age and the only person I want to date is sitting next to me."
XXXX
Back home I take a long, refreshing shower and even take the time to blow dry my hair afterwards. She told me that she likes it and so I'm planning on making it look as pretty as possible. When I'm just about to braid a wisp of it, the angry voices of Dad and Emmett reach my ears. Mom is out today, visiting a gallery with her Art class and the air that has been painfully thick between my father and Em is obviously about to explode any second.
I don't understand why my brother is acting like a complete asshole to Dad. What the hell is wrong with him?
"If I were you, I'd yell a bit louder. Then the neighbors will probably call the cops and we'll finally get some action happening around." I state, walking down the stairs. In the living room, both of them are standing across from each other, their arms crossed in front of their chest. Dad is pale, like really pale and Emmett looks as if he's close to punching something.
"Alice, go to your room and stay there."
"Oh, you don't want her to know, do you? Fucking coward…"
"Emmett, I told you not to speak to me like that. Whatever was between…well, it doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't matter one tiny bit."
"Dad, why is he so angry at you?"
"Please, sweetie. Go to your room, just do it. "
"No, I want to know what happened. Emmett?"
He swallows hard and takes several deep breaths before he speaks up again, his voice trembling with anger.
"Rose."
"Rose? This is about your ex-girlfriend?"
"Emmett…,"
A completely sick thought enters my mind. Rosalie is pretty, like really pretty. What if Dad…crap, like he would do something as horribly as that to Mom…
"You knew what she meant to me…you, fucking knew. God, this is so disgustingly sick."
"Emmett, calm down, son."
"Don't tell me what to do. You're not even my real father."
"Emmett! Please, don't say things like that." I whisper, feeling the tears starting to burn in my eyes. God, I hate ugly scenes like that more than anything.
"Alice, baby, I'm sorry. You know, I love you but I can't spend just one more day under the same roof than he."
"You can't move out. Mom would freak."
"Sweetie, I'm over eighteen. I'm free to go wherever it pleases me."
"Please, stay…please…for me? Tell me what Dad did that makes you so angry."
"Maybe you should ask him yourself. Ask him how it is like living as the hypocritical asshole he is."
"I'm sorry, son. I never meant to hurt anyone. I never meant for this to happen. I couldn't know the two of you would like each other. I'm so very sorry."
"Does her father know?"
Dad sighs deeply and fists his hands through the blond curls of his hair, a nervous habit he always tends to have when he's agitated.
"No, he doesn't. Her mother and I agreed it would be better not to tell him about things. "
"Could you please talk about whatever you are talking about right now in a way that I can follow your conversation? It's like nothing of what you're saying makes any sense to me at all."
Emmett nods his head and sits down on the edge of our couch, keeping his eyes focused on the carpet underneath his feet. His voice is husky when he speaks up again, as if he's trying very hard to hold back tears.
"Have you ever wondered…how Rosalie looks nothing like her siblings? No one in her family is a blond; even that Bella cousin who is living with them at the moment is dark-haired like the fucking rest of them. "
XOXXOXXOXXOXXXOXOXOXX
[A/N] Well, in theory you should have seen that coming, at least those of you who have been reading some of my other AH stuff. Carlisle needs to have a love child in each of them because otherwise…well, it's just one of my personal fic-laws, like Bella and Alice having incredible hot sex with each other or the whole hair-touching issue I have.
In case you are interested in reading some vampire Bellice, please check out my new story, Blood or Honey that's based upon that Halloween One-Shot I did a few months ago.
Until next time, take care