[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.
**Skittles**
The ugly scene Mom makes Dad when Emmett shoves the truth into her face together with the paternity test he has found in our parents' bedroom is so horrible that I can't stand staying inside the house any longer. Our family is going to break apart and I 'm so angry at Dad for this stupid affair and at Emmett for finding the stupid test, although it's so very clearly not his fault.
I first walk, then run without even noticing where I am going until it is dark around me and I sink completely exhausted against a tree.
Trying to catch my breath again, I lean forward and wrap my hands around my knees. The tears come and once I start with the crying I am unable to stop. Mom is going to get a divorce, I'm sure about that and what is going to become out of me than? Will she even allow me to see Dad then?
I think about how much Rosalie resembles Dad. She's so pretty and I understand that he would probably prefer her to me any time. Maybe that's the reason why he wants me to lose the weight anyway? So that I look a tiny bit more like his beautiful real child than the overweight adopted one that I am.
"Alice, is that you?"
Very hesitantly I raise my head and wipe my running nose at the back of my hand while Bella kneels down next to me, checking my legs for injuries.
The chubby, middle-aged woman who is dressed in an expensive sport outfit snarls angrily.
"I have paid you for an entire hour, Bella."
"This is kind of an emergency, Mrs. Newton. Why don't you go home and do some more of the Yoga exercises I showed you?"
"Impossible person…you are not the only trainer in this stupid town. Do you know that?"
With that she walks off angrily and Bella makes some puking noises.
"I'm sorry, if I ruined that job for you. She seemed angry."
"Just for the record…I can't stand that stupid woman at all. Please, don't worry about her."
"But she's going to fire you."
"That doesn't matter. What's wrong with you? You should not be out here on your own this late."
"I don't want to go home. " I whisper, searching for a tissue in the pockets of my jeans.
"What happened?"
"Nothing," I whisper, trying hard to hold back more tears from falling down my face.
"Oh come on, Alice. You can tell me." She tries to encourage me.
No, I can't, I think nervously. Rosalie is your cousin. Well, technically she's not really your cousin but still. You care about her and it's worse enough that my father's affair is going to ruin one family.
"Alice?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Please, stop asking."
"Kay. But if you need to talk, I'm here for you."
I nod my head and then I close my eyes while she pulls me even closer against her chest. She's so warm and the flowery scent on her neck is so heavenly. Before she can pull back, I lean forward and press my lips against her soft skin. A deep sigh escapes her throat and I kiss her a second time, letting my tongue glide over her pale flesh this time.
"Alice, please stop this. We can't. I already told you, why."
"Your reasons are stupid. I like you and if you wouldn't like me too, you would not be here with me right now."
"You are impossible. Do you think I have some hidden wish to get arrested for statutory rape? Your father is not paying me for being your girlfriend."
My girlfriend? She has spoken of herself as my girlfriend. My heartbeat increases so much that it makes me feel dizzy.
"If he'd know about the kiss, he'd be furious, I'm sure about that. I would try to get another job but that's difficult."
"I don't care what my father does! He hired you because he thinks me ugly and he's right about that."
"You are not ugly."
"But I'm fat and that's basically the same thing."
She shakes her head and cups my face between both of her dainty hands, caressing my cheekbones with her fingertips before circling them slowly over my mouth.
"Why do you think you are ugly? Is it just because of your weight or is there something more behind it?"
"My mother didn't want to keep me because I was such an ugly baby. My birth mother, I mean."
"What? Who told you that?"
"No one, I figured that out myself. " I mumble towards the ground.
"I don't think that's true. Maybe she was too young to take care of you. I'm sure she was sorry that she couldn't keep you herself. Who wouldn't love you?"
A lot of people…
"Let's get you home now. Your parents are probably already worried sick about you."
She takes my hand in hers and doesn't let go of it until we reach her car. Here she presses me suddenly against the rusty hood of her truck and touches her mouth against mine very softly.
"I care about you. Don't forget that." she whispers against my lips, letting the tip of her tongue circle over my lower lip until every cell in my body seems to be vibrating in me.
I kiss her again, feeling the skin on her bare forearms breaking out in goose flesh under my hands when I slip my tongue gently between her lips.
Heat spreads through me and as soon as we are inside the car, she climbs on my lap, rubbing her hips against me. I have never been that close to someone before and I want nothing more than to stay with my arms wrapped tightly around her so that I can feel her heartbeat against my chest.
"Just kissing, ok?" she mutters against my neck while I circle my thumb over her pulse point before lifting her hand to my mouth and kiss it over and over again.
"Kay," I whisper, stroking over the silkiness of her hair. My mouth finds hers again in the darkness of her car and I almost faint when she starts exploring my mouth with her tongue. Something close to electric impulses starts rushing through my body, and instinctively I move my hips upwards against hers in an attempt to get some more friction.
XXXXX
"Where have you been?" Mom asks me, sounding more worried than angry. Her eyes are red and puffy. It's obvious that she has been crying. My poor Mom…
"Mary Alice, are you going to tell me where you have been. It's past midnight."
"I went for a run to get off some steam and then I lost my way."
"Oh sweetie, please don't run after dark. It's too dangerous."
I frown and grab a bottle of water from the fridge, pouring some crystal light into it before taking a thirsty sip. Bella has made me throw out all of the artificial sugar we had but I have talked my mother into getting us new stuff. I can't always drink water. Water tastes like nothing.
"Where are Emmett and Dad?" I ask her, the silence in the house seeming almost unbearable to me.
"Your brother is staying at a friend's place for a few days and your father is pretending to be working at the hospital so that he doesn't need to argue with me anymore."
"Are you getting a divorce?" I ask her, sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs. She puts a plate with apple slices in front of me dipping them into a bit of Peanut butter before stuffing them between my lips. My mouth is still warm and tender from the kisses Bella and I have shared. She kissed me again and again. That hopefully means she likes me too. It has to mean she likes me too.
"Mom?"
"I don't know yet, baby. It's complicated. He insists that it was only one time and that both of them regret it deeply."
"But there is still Rose."
"Yeah, the girl is still there. I actually feel sorry for her. All this mess is not her fault."
"Emmett is pretty pissed at Dad."
"Your brother is too emotional sometimes. That comes from always pretending so very hard that he's a tough guy."
"Most likely,"
She plants a kiss on my head and sighs deeply.
"Go to bed now, it's too late."
"I will. Can I ask you something?"
"Of course, sweetie, what do you want to know?"
I want to ask her about the adoption. About my birth mother that is never mentioned but for some reason I decide against it. Mom has enough crap to deal with right now.
"It's nothing. I'll have a quick shower now before I got to bed. Good night, Mom."
Stepping into the shower, I enjoy how the hot water pours down my body. I splash some vanilla scented body wash into my hands and start rubbing it all over my upper body. When my fingertips move over my breasts a pleasant tingling makes me bite my lower lip in order to suppress a moan.
My right hand moves lower, down my belly until my fingers eventually reach the bare outer lips of my sex. I am wet, and not only because of the shower and slowly, I circle two fingers up and down between my folds. God that feels so amazing…fuck…
I think about the way Bella's mouth has felt against my lips, her tongue toying against mine over and over again until both of us were completely breathless.
Faster and faster I roll my fingertips over my clit, feeling it pulsate against them while I try very hard not to breathe too loudly.
When I come, I almost fall over, unable to keep standing from the intensity of the sensations that float through me. I didn't even know it was possible to feel so very much.
Towel drying my hair I enter my room and see there are several unread new texts on my cell.
First one is from Emmett. He's at Jasper's house and asks me to bring his shit to school tomorrow. I roll my eyes at that-like he'll need that after smoking whatever kind of crap with his new bestie.
The other two are from Bella and I climb under my blankets, cuddling against the pillow before I read through them.
I can't stop thinking about you and I can still taste you on my lips. Call me if you are still awake. B.
The second one is a drawing of a cloud with the words, Sweet Dreams, written inside of it.
I smile and dial the number of her cell. She picks up after the second ring.
"Hey,"
"Did I wake you up?"
"I can't sleep, Alice, there is too much on my mind."
"Can't you sleep because of me?"
"Maybe,"
"Just maybe?"
"Not really. Look, I don't know how to tell you this. It seems so very wrong to me."
My heart cramps painfully in my chest because I have a certain feeling of what she's about to tell me now. That she doesn't want to be with me…because I'm too fat…because I'm too young…because I'm a girl and all the other reasons why I am wrong for her. Crap, now I'm going to cry again.
"Alice, are you still there?"
"Yes, " I croak, barely audible.
"I like you." She starts and I can hear her, taking a deep breathe at the other side of the line. "I like you a lot."
"I like you too. I like you more than anyone else."
"You are sweet. Look, I know that what I'm going to ask you is wrong. It's too much to ask of you."
"What are you talking about?"
"You can't tell anyone about us. Whatever it is that is between me and you…it has to be a secret."