A/N: Hey, guys. Yesterday's chapter was certainly sad...and so is this one. Sorry. But, things do get better after a while, just not yet. After all, sometimes, things have to get worse before they get better. Part of this chapter, by the way, is based off the deleted funeral part in the anime, in case anyone's curious.

Disclaimer: Don't own Death Note. But, I still own V!

Chapter 14: Farewell

We resolved to hold the funeral the next day once we retrieved L's lifeless body, concealed by a white sheet, from the morgue. Of course, the coroner had to officially classify the results of the autopsy as a heart attack. What he didn't know, however, was that someone had written L's name down to give him said heart attack. The task force members (though not what I would have chosen) opted to not use the Death Note as evidence within a judicial system. The fact that shinigami were involved with these deadly black notebooks would be too much to handle for all present in a court of law. Not only that, but Rem had mysteriously vanished, though we discerned that the dust we discovered belonged to her.

Yes, the funeral, one of which I wished I had never lived long enough to witness—it was irrevocably miserable. Light, despite my feeble protests, was one of the pallbearers that carried L's casket to the burial site selected for the occasion. Aizawa, Matsuda, and Mr. Yagami also served as pallbearers with Ide (he had returned to the task force recently) and Mogi trailing after them. I attended my brother's funeral as well, wearing a short-sleeved black dress that I bought the day before, gray hose, and black high-heeled shoes that annoyingly clicked as I walked. Most of my weeping had ceased by the time we had set off for the cemetery; I steadfastly refused to cry in front of everyone, especially Light, L's destroyer.

After the casket had been cautiously set down in the hole, I extracted a rose from the black leather purse I still kept. The rose's crimson beauty touched me so deeply, I fretted that I would commence crying again. Crimson, the very color, represented so much blood that had been shed throughout this horrific investigation. I wondered if it was even worth it to continue it any further, considering that our strongest ally was dead. For me, I had lost a brother. For the members of the task force (except that thrice accursed Light Yagami), they had lost an admirable colleague.

As I separated myself from the cluster we formed around the elaborate tombstone that was a simple yet appropriate cross, I sensed that every step I took practically quavered. The trembling lessened, though, and I became strong. I had to be—now, more than ever, with L in the hands of God.

"Goodbye, big brother," I whispered my childhood nickname for him as a single tear managed to caress my cheek.

Fortunately, most of the others had barely heard me, if at all. But, what truly struck me as frightfully creepy was the predatory gleam I espied in Light's eyes. Behind his act of a grieving friend, he secretly rejoiced over his victory. As he saw it, he could do whatever he pleased now. The task force members settled on agreeing with his suggestion if adopting L's name to maintain blissful ignorance to the general public, as well as to not arouse the suspicions of the police. Unsure of what to do, they just handed it to him on a silver platter, metaphorically speaking. This compelled me to contemplate whether or not I wished to assist with the case. But, I couldn't save L, so I knew that I had to break free. Truthfully, I refused to accept the fact I would work under Light if I stayed on any more days.

I slowly walked backwards to blend back into the gathering, allowing the men to take turns shoveling the pile of dug-up dirt back in the ground. All of us permitted a moment of silence to elapse afterwards in honor of the world's greatest detective who fell to this harsh world. In this dreary silence, everyone preferred to avoid saying anything remotely close to a eulogy. I guess most of us were still dumbfounded that the leader of this investigation lay six feet under us now. After for what seemed like depressing decades, Mr. Yagami finally possessed the audacity to speak.

"Even though we didn't really know him as a person, L was a brilliant detective, the best out of anyone I have ever met," he eulogized. "We did question his thought processes sometimes, but he did everything he could to solve this case."

"Yes," Aizawa stated simply albeit stiffly, when he recollected all the times he argued with L.

"I think he was the best damn detective we'll ever find," Mogi agreed, despite the fact that it was rare for him to converse with us.

"Agreed," Ide said, nodding.

"There won't be anybody quite like him." Matsuda departed from his awkward self to say this with such ardor as to abet L's character.

"We have lost one of the greatest," I summarized what all the others uttered.

Surprisingly, Light contributed nothing to our praises regarding L, but stood mutely as the gentle late afternoon breeze brushed his hair into his eyes. Birds chirped their songs while the rest of us inspected his condition, trying to figure out why he remained silent. His father construed this deathly silence as a sign of inconceivable misery, for he patted his son's shoulder.

"It will be all right, son. You did say you would avenge L's death, didn't you?"

A gasp caught itself within my throat as I struggled to grasp what the former police chief just said. How could this dastardly villain avenge the death of someone he himself killed?

At last, the college student assured Mr. Yagami, "I did. And you can count on it, Dad. I will find out who L's killer is and bring him to justice that's deserved. That way, L can rest in peace."

Lies, lies, all disgusting, deplorable lies! Severely biting my lip to contain my seething fury, I trembled slightly like a leaf on a windy afternoon. Again, no one noticed my sign of obvious emotion. However, if Light had, I didn't care. He probably had all the pieces of the puzzle locked together by now. I wished to confront him urgently and allow him to hear what I truly thought of him, that low blob of slime.

The others, of course, bought Light's explanation for appearing so sad for a supposed lost friend. Ugh, that impelled me to want to vomit. I also wanted the task force to see the lies that came out of Light's mouth every time he opened it. That would be real justice. Better yet, he could confess his sins, though that surely wouldn't save him from the place he would go to after his death. Maybe then, he could experience an afterlife filled with eternal melancholy and pain. These bitterly angry thoughts swarmed within my head before I observed that most of the task force (except Light, who still remained at his spot) departed for headquarters. I was prepared to follow them, when I realized that I could stay behind along with boy I strongly suspected (more like knew) of being Kira. I could hide, so that I can hear rants he might say to himself—anything devious that would certainly grab my attention. Then, this confrontation would start as planned.

I pretended to be on my way toward another destination as I fluidly concealed myself behind a tree. True to me expectations, Light commenced talking to himself...after bouts of ludicrous yet bone-chilling, evil laughter.

"You've lost, L!" he shouted victoriously as he went down on hands and knees to gloat. "You should have known better than to trifle with the god of a new world! I will make this place even better than it is now...since you're not in it. You were always in my way, L. But, you're dead, so I don't even have that any more. It's smooth sailing now! Those idiots at the task force—they're eating up every word I say!"

Thoroughly incensed at his words I appeared in order to yell boldly, "You still have me to contend with, Light Yagami!"

His previously glowing red eyes reverted back to their original brown color as they cast their vile malice my way. However, I held my ground and looked him unabashedly in those now untrustworthy orbs. This was the time to give my talking-to to the one person who ruined my life by two murders. My dark eyes stared him down as I addressed him in the lowest, calmest, and most hateful tone I had ever used.

"I know who you really are," I began coldly, "and I know what you did...and still doing. You are a murderer by true profession; you just prefer to pull the wool over most of our eyes."

Light continued to gaze at me back, quietly declaring his loathing and disdain toward me. Likewise, I felt the same way toward him.

"Light...you damned liar. You killed L, my brother, my hero. And yet, you show absolutely no remorse. Now, I know why."

In two strides, he approached me, roughly grabbing hold of my shoulders. I could smell his rancid breath and sense his bangs brush the top of my head. Aware that I was gradually venturing into dangerous territory, I kept my cool. I refused to display signs of weakness in front of him.

Darkly, he replied, "I had an idea who you really were for quite some time. It was so obvious that I'm surprised the others didn't see it. And you know what? Seeing that sadness and resignation in your brother's eyes as he died...I enjoyed every second of it."

Despite the sheer unladylike indiscretion of it, I spat ruthlessly in Light's face. A cruel man like him deserved such disrespectful treatment.

"He was very close to exposing you!" I abruptly raised my voice then lowered it as I added, "But, you still have a threat in me. You might have caught my dying brother, but you'll never see me falling submissively to you. I will fight you until your eventual death. Rest assured, I will prove you guilty and ensure that you get the death penalty."

My enemy merely chuckled in my face. "It's too bad I don't know your real name. But, let me tell you this. The next time I see you, I'll tell Misa to use her eyes to find out your real name. There will be no saving you after that. You'll end up being buried next to your brother."

In his unique, demented manner, he erupted into that stupidly creepy laughter again while I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"You say you'll avenge L's death, too. Humph, it's ironic. After all, take into consideration that I will be the one to do just that—not you. So...let the chase begin. Light Yagami, you can try all you want, but you'll never catch me. A girl like me is very hard to come by; therefore, I was never one to become infatuated with you for fall for romantic clichés. Remember that when you decided you want to see me dead. I'm. Not. Easy."

With these rather cryptic parting words, I marched myself back to headquarters.

That night, when the task force members wandered toward their respective routs toward their homes, I quietly glared at Light through the glass of the window. I swore that even the normally kind stars sharpened their intensity tenfold, too. He seemed to know that I was watching him, for he bestowed a belligerent smirk as he stared upwards toward me.

"Smirk all you want," I muttered under my breath, "for when you die, you'll only show signs of defeat...I can only hope."

Before I retired to bed, I recollected my heated conversation with Light/Kira, especially when I informed him that I was not easy. I was no fool; I had observed the manner in which he treated Misa, as though she served as his puppet and he the puppeteer pulling the strings. It sickened me, and it only made me assume he used women in this aspect. And I assumed he would use that same method on me.

Despite my mood for sleeping, I could barely do so that night, mainly due to a hellish, agonizing nightmare I had.

I ran through the streets of Tokyo in this dream, carelessly pushing its citizens out of the way. Neon lights blended into the murk of the night, maneuverable motorbikes' engines revving along. Ignoring all these urban sights, I sprinted rather frantically toward something or someone. I discovered why I seemed so panicked when I stumbled upon L, his back facing me.

"L...but you're dead. You can't be here—it's just impossible," I told him, nearly dazed from my disbelief.

He said not a word, but instead turned around in order for me to register a horrific sight.

His ghastly white skin resembled that of a corpse, maggots crawling across his face. He proceeded to collapse as he did when a heart attack had claimed his life. I felt what little color I possessed draining from my face. An elderly male voice that contained a familiar, rich English accent proceeded to startle me.

"Victoria, you could have told us who Kira is," Watari informed sadly, "yet you held back. Why did you hold back?"

"I—I don't know, Watari."

With that weak reply, I staggered into a hard run again, searching for my two best friends. I needed to find them before they became victims, too. I was determined that they wouldn't share the same fates as my brother and Watari. I inanely stepped out into the street...

...And saw their lifeless corpses that contained tire tracks from busily passing cars. I barely believed that all this horror hardly existed when I woke up screaming frightfully.

"L! Watari! Matt! Mello!" I shouted their names anxiously before relaxing as I sensed the consoling pillow behind my back. Moonlight streamed in through the hotel windows, and safety gently washed over me.

"Damn it," I murmured sorrowfully, "why would I even dream such wretched things?"

No one answered my question, which allowed me time to blearily trudge toward the digital clock to examine the time: 2:45 in the morning. Heaving a long sigh that had rested within me for what felt like ages, I stared heatedly at the floor.

"I got to stop dreaming of dead parents and dead relatives and dead friends in the middle of the bloody night," I groaned, throwing the clock relentlessly on the floor. Though I endeavored to sleep again, I merely tossed and turned in my bedsheets until sunrise. The vivid shades that encased the sky brought no joy to me, no inspiration for songs like mornings usually did. Instead, pure, unadulterated wretchedness persisted with me, even when the meeting began two hours later. Here, I decided to announce my resignation from the case.

As anyone could see, it had taken a traumatizing toll on me, both physically and emotionally. But, it was more so that Light would head the task force that I opted to withdraw. I knew right away I would tire of his wrapping the members around his finger. Pointedly considering I saw him for who he really was (as Kira anyway), I would not, by any means, work under him. So, I managed to shock almost everyone when I unveiled my plans.

"I will no longer be a part of this task force," I spoke clearly, scarcely a quaver in my voice. "I find that I'm too attached to the case, with my colleague L dead."

"What?!? You can't quit!" Matsuda promptly protested, but Aizawa silenced him with a glare.

Sensing a pang of empathy when I noted the rookie cop's reaction, I continued as strongly as ever, "Believe it or not, I have been affected emotionally by this. I just can't continue any more."

This was partially a lie for two reasons—one: I wanted to avenge L's death as enthusiastically as before and two: if Light perceived me as a weak-hearted girl, he would lose interest. Of course, the young man in question backed my decision.

"I think it's a good choice if you leave, Utako," he said as he cupped his chin in a casual manner. His statement brought shock to the other members, though no one said nay when it came to this.

"Well, you were a fine addition to the team. We'll miss your presence," Mr. Yagami told me gravely.

Gulping down regret, I responded, "I will miss your company, as well. It was an honor to work with the finest task force I have ever encountered. Thank you, everyone."

The men stood up and exchanged goodbye handshakes with me, the last being Light Yagami.

"Arigato for your help, Utako," he stated, though an insincere glint in his brown orbs told me otherwise. I also told myself to buy anti-bacterial cream whenever I got the chance; touching Light's hand had never been an enjoyable prospect.

"Maybe you'll work with us again in the future," Aizawa stated optimistically.

"Bye, Miyazawa-san." Mogi waved casually as Matsuda joined, though the latter's wave was rather enthused.

Suppressing a smile, I carried my luggage to the lift alone and resolved to wave farewell back. Why not? I probably would never see them again.

"Sayonara!" I cheerily shouted, garnering wry smiles from the force.

And the doors closed, completing yet another important saga of my life. What always occurred to me, I asked myself as I strolled out the headquarter doors for the last time, when I said goodbye all the time? It never seemed to work out when it came to remaining firmly at one location. And, ruefully, that was another thing I shared with L.

"Number fifteen on my private list, don't you think so, L?" I asked the heavens above, presumably where he resided now. "If I find any more similarities between you and I, I will ask my creator to put in new parts!"

Perhaps I had picked up contagious optimism from my friend Matt, since I dared to joke like this at such an odd epoch in my life. But, maybe he had the right idea with his constant jokes. I missed him along with Mello....Wammy's. The spark had fired itself into a plan as I hailed a taxi cab to transport me to the airport. I would check on my two best friends who thankfully still lived in this world. Then, it could be like old times again, as though the Kira case had never started, Light had never come into the picture, L had never...

I sighed slightly, not bothering to finish that thought.

Familiar sights of the jolly city of London welcomed me as I departed the airplane. Vehicles followed the circular lay-out of the famous roundabouts, and when I wandered over to Piccadilly Circus, a double decker bus carried its passengers. Doves flew while the usual mist draped over the entire premises of the city, which truly was a beautiful place. Now that Christmas items that kept in theme with the tradition of being ridiculously early were set out at store displays, I concocted a cleverer plan than before. A fortnight prior to Christmas itself, I would drop by Wammy's to see Mello and Matt then. I liked that idea better than the first.

I suppose one could call this dilly-dallying, but the truth was that I felt somewhat apprehensive toward this. Sure, mere months had passed, but they seemed like years to me. And, during this span, my two dearest friends might have developed resentment against me for leaving, which was understandable. But, suppose I informed them of my participation in the Kira case? Would they harbor jealousy then?

Mainly speaking, as I took this all into account, I gave myself a London holiday. I needed a retreat to forget about the anxieties on my mind and also weighing on my conscience.

When I finally did come around to set my sights toward Wammy's House, it was the middle of December. Lush wreaths decked out for the season framed the bright bulbs of the street lights. Snow had fallen onto the ground by the inch, and the whole atmosphere screamed of Yuletide. Of course, the fact that my deceased brother would not send gifts from the heart this year depressed me. Christmas was totally themed regarding a celebration of family, as well as the Lord's birth. Why must the martyr of the Kira case, L, miss such a holiday? Only I answered this question bleakly: Kira had cruelly snatched him away from the world...

....Forever.

So, I did set off for the orphanage when I embarked on a train at King's Cross, in the hopes that maybe I could ensure Matt and Mello's happiness...despite my severe lack of the emotion.

In a stride that inevitably conveyed of forced gaiety, I bustled toward the door of my old abode. With an enthusiastic knock, I waited while bearing gifts: a recently released video game for Matt and chocolate for Mello. Hopefully, their preferences still remained the same. I had always doubted myself when it came to selecting presents for people I cared about.

Roger opened the door whilst I busied myself on wondering what the reunion would consist. His grim expression expelled all such whimsical thoughts.

"V Lawliet...it most certainly has been quite a while."

The caretaker reminded me of a certain animated dog with a saggy countenance and monotonous, almost whiny voice. He radiated of a grave air that frightened the youngest orphans...not a grandfatherly sort, so much unlike Watari in every possible way.

"Roger," I replied somewhat stiffly, unaccustomed to him responding to knocks, "I have just returned from an excursion. What, may I ask, is the problem?"

Yes, my accuracy for reading thoughts served me well in this case.

Roger sighed wearily, as though he carried ill news, which could serve as the issue. That was usually what he contributed; in fact, I could picture him as a coroner or a mortician instead of a guardian of orphans.

"Mello ran away from here two days ago. And...I was notified that Matt disappeared as well, most likely to follow him. That occurred yesterday."

"Oh."

That one-syllable word escaped my lips, the gifts promptly falling from my hands onto the stoop. So much for our reunion. So much for everything that might have turned out for the positive in my life. Yes, "oh" to that crushing disappointment that descended on my like a tsunami wave.

"I will...I will just be on my way now," I elaborated, subdued after these dead hopes. After this inept farewell, I started running, praying that it was just damp snowflakes in my eyes.

A/N: OK, the cartoon character that V is comparing Roger to is Droopy Dog, 1960's cartoon dog, in case anyone asks. And, ha, Light got spat in the face by V, oddly enough. How do you like that?!? He deserved that for killing L, I thought, though that definitely wasn't planned--the spitting, that is. I apologize for another crappy dream sequence, especially since this chapter was already morbid enough as it was. And for stuffing British references in one section. You're lucky I didn't mention fish and chips. XP

Anyway, OVER 1000 HITS TO DEALTHY, WOOOOOO! You guys are awesome! And over 100 hits yesterday, wow! Can't believe it, and I'm very excited. Thanks, you guys! This'll be updated...hm, possibly Monday.