Hey guys! I'm back again haha! so much thanks for all your lovely reviews keep up that good work. They really motivate me, as you see that i upload so soon!

Next of all i wanted to ask you something. several months ago i read a fanfic. I absolutly adored it! but i got a problem i can't remember the name of the Fanfic and i can't find it anywhere! :( My question is if someone recognizes this thing.

- Tony well he runs away, but i can't remember why...
- He stays at a motel or apartment building and Gibbs goed looking for him and even gets there, but the woman who Gibbs speaks with tells him he isn't there. when Gibbs goes back to his car, Tony watches him from his window...
- After some time, Tony runs into Fornell, by accident on... but runs off, but ofcourse Fornell calls Gibbs.
- Tony has a girlfriend/bootycall girl that stays with him sometimes.
- Tony ends of a overdose of alcohol or drugs.. i can't remember, but he survives!

Does anybody knows anything about this FanFic. I've been looking weeks for this one and i can't seem to find it! it's driving me INSANE, i can't believe that i didn't favorited it! If you know something, please sent me a PM or say something about it in your revies! you would make my YEAR. i'm telling ya!

Anyhow... back to this story!

(Warning: No Beta! all typo's and grammar mistakes are mine, just please to comment on it, i know it! Thank you!)

Enjoy your reading! :)

Tony turned and smile at the person, like he always did to people who passed by. His smile on his lips and in eyes dropped though and the one in his eyes was placed by fear and shock when he recognized the person, who stopped a couple of feet away.

''What the hell are you doing here, Tony?'' Gibbs asked, shocked and a little angry. But wasn't sure he had meant it that way.

''Gibbs!'' Tony all but jumped onto his feet, wide eyes. ''Shit!'' This was so not how he wanted Gibbs to find out. Wait? Since when was he even considering the fact that Gibbs should know? He had been a coward for years, knowing that Gibbs was Shannon's husband or Kelly's father

''Do I have to repeat the question?'' Gibbs all but growled.

''No.. I.. I.. you... uhm...'' Tony didn't know what to say. How to explain it. He couldn't talk, he just looked down.

Gibbs shoulder slumped down as he saw the difficulty in Tony's eyes and he realized, that this wasn't the way to talk on a graveyard or to Tony and certainly not in front of his girls.

He took a deep breath to calm the anger that Tony didn't deserve at all. He looked over Tony's shoulder noticing the flowers, that were in the same vases as the last time he was here and the garland. He decided to get answers from Tony, but only about the flowers, the rest could wait.

''You bought the flowers and Garland?'' He asked. Tony nodded hesitantly. ''And last week?'' Another nod. They were silent for a moment and Tony looked up to see Gibbs eyes. Trying to read him, but as for so many times Gibbs was unreadable, again. He wanted to speak, but Gibbs was faster.

''About 3 months ago, when I was still in Mexico, a friend of mine, the gardener here, called me saying that a man was bringing flowers. He called because this man was bringing them every week, thought it was maybe family. But I nor Shannon, have family around here. And even though that sometime, they come from Stillwater, to visit them, I doubt they would do that every week for so long. You've been coming here every week?'' He asked in disbelieve.

Tony didn't look away, but still didn't find his tongue. He nodded again.

Gibbs sighed and rubbed his forehead. ''Okay, Tony, this is already a bad day for me, don't make me head-slap you in front of them''

''I know'' Tony whispered looking away again. Then added. ''Kelly's birthday''

''Yeah'' Gibbs said softly. He didn't understand, why Tony did this. Tony was obviously talking to them, laughing about whatever. Didn't look awkward, like he knew them. He had so many questions.

Suddenly Tony found his tongue. ''Look Gibbs, I'm sorry that I came here, but I just wanted to visit and I didn't know why, but I promised to bring flowers to them every week. And I can't break a promise, even if they are dead...'' His eyes went wide as he realized how that sounded. ''Sorry I didn't mean it that way! But you know what I mean. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go into you're private life. I.. I shouldn't have done it. I will stop if you want. No.. I should just stop and go now. Leave you alone''

He made his way passed Gibbs, but a hand caught his wrist. He looked around and still had the fear in his eyes. He just waited. Gibbs sighed. ''Go to my house. Put on the oven and put a pizza in it. I think I still have one in the fridge. Wait for me to get home. I won't take long'' Tony nodded. Gibbs let go of his wrist. ''And this is a public place Tony, you can come here every time you want, I can't stop you for doing so'' Tony nodded again. ''Now go''

''Yes, boss'' Tony said, even though the order didn't sound like an order. Hell, Gibbs didn't sound like the normal grumpy guy, since that first sigh period and Tony thought it probably had something to do with the fact that they were in front of Shannon and Kelly. He walked away slowly and he could feel Gibbs eyes on him, but he didn't dare to turn back around.

When Tony was out of sight, Gibbs turned to the headstones. He looked over the photo's and couldn't help but smile when he saw their faces. The close-ups were beautiful. But his attention was pulled to the vases. ''Their favorites'' He whispered. Then he looked at the Garland. He had to smile. It would be a nice birthday present. Kelly would have loved it. Both his girls loved flowers. Almost obsessed. His house was always full of flowers... well until he thought it was too much that is then.

''Flowers let you see how life can be even in their little shape. Sometimes flowers live short but are beautiful, welcome and blessed, while other flowers or plants, live long, but are always unwelcome or misplaced''

Shannon had said that and Gibbs could only relate that to their deaths. Their live was pretty much the most beautiful thing that happened to him/them. While in the meantime some lives are much longer but the person lives in hurt and pain or are unwelcome, because of both a good reason or no reason at all.

Unlike Tony, Gibbs sat down on the bench that was just on the other side of the path, nearly 2,5 meters away. Why Tony didn't sit down on the bench. Gibbs thought it was just Tony being... Tony. He shook his head. Of all the people he could think of, Tony didn't came once into his thoughts of who bought the flowers for his girls.

The relaxed state Tony was clearly in, talking to them, laughing. The flowers, their favorites and the garland Tony bought extra on Kelly's birthday. And then the totally halve unexpected turn of state Tony was in, when Gibbs spoke up. Okay he had to admit, that the way he spoke up, was probably some of what made Tony so nervous.

But why would Tony decline going out with Abby to go out, for them? Had Tony really came every single week? Even when they had a case?

That's what made Gibbs realize, that since he came back, that Tony really did go every Friday. If it became late, Tony would always make a excuse to go home early or to go and come back an hour later.

He just hadn't connected it that Tony maybe went somewhere else then to get something to eat or coffee or to go to his apartment and change and sleep. He was too busy to settle back into the life and to get back some of the forgotten memories, mostly unimportant but parts of his life, that he just didn't read into it.

But why would Tony promise to complete strangers to him, to come every week? It just didn't make any sense to him. He realized he still had the plastic bag in his other hand. He grabbed the candles and the lighter out of it and stood up. He knelled down in front of the graves and put the candles down. He was glad that it was twilight outside, just dark enough to see the little flames dance in the reflection of the glass of the the pictures.

Softly he began to sing ''Hush little baby'' It was Kelly's favorite song. He was glad that no one was around anymore, he didn't anyone to hear him sing or to see silent tears that began to fall from his eyes.

…

Tony mentally head-slapped himself as he sat down in his car. ''You are a damned idiot, DiNozzo!'' He cursed himself. ''You couldn't just say something. Just nodded and then flap that out? Stupid!'' He slammed his hand against the steering wheel, making the horn to go off and him to jump a little.

''Well no turning back now. Gibbs gave you an order to go to his house and make pizza'' He thought. Wait was it even an order? It didn't sound like one, really. But still he knew that he had to go, out of respect. Gibbs deserved an explanation. And even though his stomach twisted in how this could turn out. He made his mind up not to just nod when Gibbs asks something.

With that in mind, Tony drove off the parking lot and to the oh so familiar house, that in the past was like a home to him, for two whole weeks.

20 minutes later, Tony parked his car on Gibbs' drive way. He didn't get out, just simply stared at the house as a memory came back in his mind.

..Flashback..

Shannon stopped the car on the drive way and looked over to her passenger. She couldn't help but smile at the peaceful young man, that had fallen asleep while she drove. He reminded her a little of her husband. Stubborn, polite, the jokes, problems with so called friends... Jethro would like him, she was sure of that.

''Tony?'' She asked softly, shaking his shoulder. ''Come on, wake up we're here''

Slowly Tony's eyes opened and looked at the house in front of him. The garden was green/brown. Perfect fall garden, except of the what he thought hundreds kinds of different colored flowers, that blossomed in the fall. The house itself just had the image that screamed ''Home!'' something that he didn't saw nor felt in the years he didn't have a mother anymore. ''Nice house'' He commented.

''I know, I chose it myself. My Marine, hadn't had a choice, he may had to move here for his work, but I picked the house'' She said and got out of the car. Tony followed suit.

She opened the door (Which was actually locked) ''I'll give you a tour, first we eat something'' She walked to the kitchen.

''Where's Little Lady Kelly?'' Tony asked, sitting awkwardly on the couch, winching ever so slightly in pain when his ribs protested at the change of position.

Shannon smiled at the nickname. ''She's playing at her best friends house, she couldn't stop saying that she was going to tell Maddie all about you'' She explained as she made some sandwiches. ''She'll be home later this afternoon.

Tony took in his surroundings. Seeing that the house, lived. It was cleaned up, occasionally a doll or a stuffed animal here and there. A painting. Or a shirt over a dining room chair. And of course the flowers, like they were fresh out of the garden.

...

''Tony! Tony! Wake up!'' Kelly squealed as she shook his shoulder.

Tony turned on his back and opened his eyes. He smiled at Kelly, then looked at the clock and groaned. ''Kelly it's just 6:45 am, on a vacation day, why are you already up?''

It had been 3 nights since he came here and even though he was still a little stiff, his bruises were almost gone and he was more awake then asleep.

''Daddy says it's a waste of your day just to sleep all day and do nothing'' She excused. Tony rolled his eyes, had to be a Marine to say that. ''Plus I don't want mommy to wake up, she's working hard around here and mommy's need to sleep, so she can be happy''

''And I don't need to be happy?'' Tony asked chuckling, sitting up and rubbing his hands over his face, trying to get rid of the sleep.

''Of course you do, but you have slept so much this weekend, that you be happy for a few days with little sleep'' Kelly deadpanned. ''Now come on!'' She said and she pulled at his arm.

''Okay, note to myself: ''Kelly 7 years old, wise kid, stubborn. Pleading blue eyes'' He said in his mind.

Tony let her drag him out of bed, with a little help of himself of course... And followed her downstairs to the kitchen. He yawned and scratched the back of his head. ''Okay. Do you know where all the stuff is?'' He asked. Kelly nodded, with a big smile. ''Where's the stuff to make pancakes?''

She pointed at the cabinets as Tony said the ingredients. Tony made the batter and put on the cooker, placing the frying pan on the fire. He looked around and found what he was looking for. ''Can you shove that stool over here?''

''Okay'' Kelly said and did what she was asked. ''Now what?''

Tony grinned and picked her up. Feeling surprised as how light she was. He didn't pick up kids. He didn't even think he liked kids, but Kelly was just a joy to be around. Even if you felt bad or sore. You couldn't keep a smile off your face for 4 minutes, when she was around. And the squealing noise of joy she made when he picked her up, made his heart melt. He placed her on the stool. He placed some butter into the pan, lowering the fire so the butter didn't spat out of the pan. ''Now Little Lady, Pick up the ladle''

''You want me to do it myself?'' She asked hesitantly.

''Did you do that before?'' Tony asked. She shook her head. No. ''Okay, we'll do it together then'' He said. He grabbed the ladle and scooped some batter in it, a little less then normal so it would flow over. Kelly held the ladle too and slowly they brought the ladle above the frying pan. ''One... two... three..'' Tony counting and then turned the ladle making the batter fall into the pan. Kelly squealed.

''This is easy!'' She stated.

''It is. Now we just wait until the upper side is dry and you can turn it. I learn you how to do that too, okay?'' Tony explained.

''Okay!'' She said with a grin.

And with gaining that grin Tony knew, he didn't want to go back to Ohio today, like he planned three nights ago.

..End Flashback..

Tony shook his head to get the memory out of his mind and stepped out of the car. He walked inside and went straight to the kitchen. He thought of how the house had changed since Shannon and Kelly weren't around anymore. Paintings were gone, no flowers, no toys or paper with scrabbles on the dining table. When he stayed here 17 years ago, this house was a home, now it was a house, just a house. Just like before and after his mom died.

He grabbed the pizza out of the freezer, placing it on the kitchen counter and then walked to the oven and turning it on, to preheat it to the right degree.

He walked to the fridge again, this time opening the upper half of it and grabbing a beer. It wasn't like he asked any other time he was here. But he so needed that little bit of alcohol. He plopped down on the couch and waited for the inevitable.

…

It was forty-five minutes later, when Gibbs came into his house. He heard persons talking and knew it was the TV. He took in the smell of a warm oven with pizza inside. He knew that Tony knew he was home, but he need a couple of seconds to decide how to approach this. He took his time to take his coat off and even his shoes, then he slowly walked into the living room.

He glanced at Tony who had a beer in a beer in his hand and empty beer bottle on the table. He didn't say anything other then a quiet, ''Hey boss''

Gibbs didn't respond and walked into the kitchen to check on the pizza and to pull a beer for himself out of the fridge. He walked back into the living room and sat down next to Tony, taking a long swig from his beer. He just waited.

Tony was also waiting. He didn't know how Gibbs would be now they were at home. After a couple of minutes he was the one to break. ''I'm sorry— and before you say that's a sign of weakness, just accept this one okay? I shouldn't have done it, bringing all those flowers''

''Why did you?'' Gibbs asked, placing his half empty beer on the coffee table. He turned to look at Tony and Tony knew he had to look back.

He took a deep breath and turned towards Gibbs. Gibbs didn't know what he what to think of it.

''I came there to thank them for what they did for me'' Tony said so quietly that Gibbs almost missed it.

Gibbs frowned at that, confused. ''Thank them? For what?''

''Okay here it goes'' Tony thought. ''When I was eighteen, I was in my first year of college. I played basketball, had a scholarship and my major was Physical Education. Everything was fine, until I told my coach I wanted to do another major and there for I would miss some games and trainings'' Tony started to explain, but he was cut off.

This didn't make any sense. ''Tony, what are you talking about?''

Tony noticed that since the graveyard, Gibbs hadn't called him 'DiNozzo' once. ''Just listen, it will make sense once I get it out''

Gibbs wanted to just say 'get to the point', but he stopped, when he heard the pleading sound. Clearly this was really important to Tony. He nodded for him to continue.

''The coach, didn't like that idea, said he didn't want one of his best players to be there only for 70%. my teammates didn't like it either, and we got a bit estranged. it was the fall of 1990 that we went to D.C. For a trainings camp. Meeting some other coach that our coach had contact with, to drill us some new tactics or something... I don't know''

''Friday night, was the last night here in D.C. So the coach and the team and I went out for something to drink, just to celebrate the good training we had here. I thought it would be a good idea to bring myself back into the bond with the team. It helped for a little while, but when it turned 10 pm I said I had to go back to the hotel to study for a preliminary exam..'' Tony paused, rubbed a hand over his face and took a swig of his almost forgotten beer.

''I bet they didn't like that idea, either'' Gibbs said encouraging him to continue.

''That's a little a understatement'' Tony chuckled nervously. ''I was walking to the hotel when out of nowhere I was pulled into a alley, it didn't even took five seconds for me to get my first hit in my stomach. They got me off guard. I recognized them, it were two of my teammates. I fought them, but they were with two and I already was in pain. I don't know how he got it, but one of them had a brick all of the sudden and he hit me over the head. I fell and he was out of control and about to hit me again, when they were interrupted''

''Lucky call'' Gibbs said. Tony grew quiet and looked away. Gibbs frowned. ''What happened then? The guy started a fight with them?'' He was guessing. He had no clue where Tony was going with this story.

''It wasn't a guy that interrupted them...'' Tony whispered, looking up to see in Gibbs eyes, the older man was thinking of every detail, but couldn't quite place it yet. Gibbs gut twisted, but he didn't know why. ''My teammates argued with each other when they heard her. But they ran fled instead of bringing her into the fight. I was still fussy when she approached me. She called for an ambulance and talked to me... and I remember a little girl coming into the alley...''

''Tony what are you trying to say?'' Gibbs asked. He didn't feel so well, he had a sick feeling, but somehow his mind refused to connect the dots.

Tony didn't know how to explain it anymore so he just rambled, like he did with witness statements. ''Woman was late 20's/ early 30's, straight red hair, light brown eyes, cute freckles, birthmark under her left eye. Girl around seven, also red-head, although darker and not always straight, she had two long braids. Steely blue eyes...''

Suddenly Gibbs thoughts made all the connections as if some made a world record was made from putting a puzzle together. ''No...''

''Names...'' Tony took a deep breath, seeing the hurt in Gibbs' eyes, but knew he had to say them. ''Shannon and Kelly''

Gibbs eyes went wide in shock. He felt like he was hit by a bus. ''No...'' He just repeated.

That's it for today! Please review if you liked it! remember Positive Thoughts.

Also if you know what story i was talking about in the A/N on top of the chapter, PM me or say it in a review, Anything you think that helps! i tried google, things of scenes i remember... but i don't get the right story... :(

Hopefully next chapter will be up tomorrow!

Seen ya then!

-X- Leonie