Once again I want to say thanks for the reviews and reads I really appreciate the feedback. I do have a direction I am going with this, at least at this point I do. It changes daily though so bare with me :)
Disclaimer again: I do not own any of these characters, they are all owned by the talanted Richelle Mead.
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After my shower, I didn't feel better but I did sort of feel numb, and after today numb worked for me. I got to my room and ready for bed, crawled under the covers and instantly feel asleep.
I knew I was dreaming; I was running through a field full of red roses, so cliché I should have sensed his presence based on that fact alone. But I didn't realize, I was too lost in the feel of the roses against my bare ankles. I laid down in my navy blue negligee, surrounded by the roses, yes the dress code should have been my second clue, I am not big on dreaming of myself in sexy nighties unless I'm dreaming Dimitri is ripping them off of me. But even that didn't alert me no it was the never failing clove cigarette smell that announced my company.
"Nice costumes" I said, standing while turning to see him saunter up in his black silk pajama bottoms. He did look good in them; I'll give him that. No shoes, no shirt and his chest looked smooth and toned. Pale compared to Dimitri's more flushed colored skin, and well no ones chest was ripped quite like Dimitris', but its not fair to compare mere mortals to a god. But I could see how a girl could be attracted to him, maybe, I mean if he could learn not to speak, I wasn't that lucky though.
"I'm glad you like them Little Dhampir, I wanted to see a little bit more of that party girl side of you on display tonight, I heard a lot of rumors about you Rose and I wanted to test how much of it is true. Judging from the way your body commandeers that lingerie, I'm betting its all true and then some." The way he looked at me sent shivers down my spine not exactly in a way that made me hot, more in a way that made me scared to be alone with him, even if it was just a dream.
"Get on with it Ishkov, I am really not into playing games."
"Me, play games with you Rose, never I believe you are the game player! Aren't you the one who uses me anytime you want to tickle your "boyfriend's" inner green monster? He raised his eyebrow in that same sexy arc Dimitri could do, but on Adrian it was just irritating.
"I do not" I scoffed not quite a Rose Hathaway caliber witty comeback but then again he wasn't entirely wrong. Adrian had come in handy more then a few times with Dimitri, in fact from the start Dimitri had been bothered by my friendship with Adrian. Even on the infamous ski trip, when he was trying to force himself into a relationship with Tasha, he couldn't hide his jealousy of the time and attention I was receiving from our Mr. Ishkov. He caught me and Lissa in Adrian's room on the Ski trip, but it was me that Dimitri pulled to the side to lecture. He tried to pass it off as his job to watch me to make sure I was ok but we both knew it was more than that. We both knew what really bothered him was the thought of Adrian and I being together. I can't imagine what Dimitri would do if he found out about these little guest appearances that Adrian was making in my dreams. I enjoyed making Dimitri jealous a least a little. Hey when a girl is constantly being pushed away and told to control yourself, it starts to wear on the confidence a little. Nothing boosts the confidence as a quick little flicker of jealous out to the man denying your advances.
"Ohh but you do little dhampir, don't worry I don't mind. You can play games and use me anytime you like". He voice dripped with insinuation, my checks instantly flushed as I looked up to see his eyes taken in my body.
"Why are you here Ishkov, what is so important you needed to barge in on my beauty sleep". I went with simple indifference in my voice rather than threatening, I figured with the way he was acting threatening might turn him on more. And he was turned on I could sense it. He was emanating his feelings onto me, not like the bond that Lissa and I shared, but I still felt it. I could actually feel his desire pressing against my body. It was making me wish he would come closer to me though I couldn't understand why. Something was up.
"What are you doing to me?" I whispered struggling to find my voice in the midst of this spark filled atmosphere we seemed to be trapped in.
" You don't like the way you feel? It doesn't feel good, I don't feel good?" his voice coming to me like a whisper on the wind. A warmth started flowing through my body, he started slowly towards me and with each step closer he took I felt the heat spread. A part of my brain was screaming to back away yet all I could manage was to lift my hands up to catch his chest in my hands before his body could press against mine. My hands over his chest literally burned, I felt like they should be glowing from the heat it was so strange and yet completely captivating.
I asked him again " What are you doing to me", this time my voice was filled with intrigue; my chest was heaving up and down as I tried to keep my breath even. I knew I didn't want him, not really but I was enjoying him, enjoying this feeling whatever it was. He grabbed my hands and pulled them down to his sides. He placed my hands on his thighs and gripped me around the waist, pulling me tight, I was frozen. I tried to tell my brain to pull away but there was this cloud something else in my head keeping me still. When he pressed his lips against mine I let him kiss me I even kissed him back. I wanted to, this feeling he was forcing upon me made me curious, I wanted to know how it would feel, how he would feel. It actually felt amazing, there was so much heat between us and it swirled. It was swirling like we were incased in flames.
After the roller coaster through emotional ciaos I rode with Dimitri today, I started to wonder if I could move on, If I could find a way to want someone who wanted me. Adrian was an ass but an ass that worshiped me. I constantly berated him for the playboy image he had. But since we met I have not seen him even look at another. Even Dimitri considered Tasha, that was twice tonight that I thought of her and it was enough to start bring back the blackness in my soul. But the point is Dimitri looked to someone else, Adrian has only been looking at me since we met. I am Adrian's obsession, it was an over the top obsession, a dream-stalking full of sexual aggressiveness over the top obsession, but it was pure and raw. It was different with Adrian, it was pleasure with no angst, but it was also desire with no passion. Passion is what Dimitri and I had, passion devourers you whole, mind body and soul, passion rules you and you obey. Thinking of Dimitri and that passion, snapped me out of my haze. And as soon as I was back to being just Rose without Adrian's influence, I was Rose in my purest form. One pissed off chick!
I threw Adrian away from me. "You slime ball you have to comatose girls and feed them your emotions to get even a kiss nowadays."
He laughed that sly sleazy smile creeping across his lips. "Deny it all you want Little Dhampir, you loved it, it felt amazing and you wanted me, you still want me"
" Your pathetic, I don't want you! You just proved it. Proved you have to invade my dreams and force yourself on me to get anywhere near me" I grunted
" Your right it is pathetic to throw yourself at someone who keeps pushing you away." He turned to walk away, that punch landed right where he aimed it my heart; he was the one person besides Victor who knew about Dimitri and I. He was right I was pathetic; I wanted him to pay for that remark. I felt the blackness seep back and take hold of me. When my voice came out I barely recognized it. You come near me again, Moroi in my dreams or awake and the Strogoi will have once less royal to knock off their hit list." He turned slowly and met my eyes, and he looked scared. No smirk no evil little glint in his eyes, just fear. "Its so dark, so black, I don't know how to save you Rose." He slowly disappeared faded out of my sight; sad eyes boring into me as his image vanished.
I woke up in an even worse mood then when I had fallen asleep, wow the day was just beginning and already it sucked. And why did my room smell like his cigarettes how is that even possible. Oh I really hope I run into Ishkov today, that invasion had just upgraded him on my list as my new personal punching bag. He enjoyed my black eye, I had a feeling I would love him with two black eyes I was going to make him pay. I threw my pillows across the room and screamed, I was so angry I was literally shaking.
Get a grip Rose, I told myself. If this keeps up no one will want to be around me, hell lately I don't even want to be around myself. And I used to be my biggest fan. What was happening to me? Maybe I could just stay in bed maybe if I hid under the covers no one would find me, could I get away with it have one day to deny my reality? Cue knock on the door, of course not my luck sucks.