I like this one a lot. :D And I just love this story! I've never been so devoted to a fan fiction chapter story, usually updates become less frequent and I don't 'feel it' anymore. (Eyes of Fire anyone?) But this is different! Makes me happy! Enjoy!
The weekend after the incident was a total bust for Courtney. Originally she had planned to hang out at the movies with her only gal pal Alexia, but when Alexia's grandmother unexpectedly fell ill she rushed off to visit her instead. Courtney didn't blame her for holding family higher up then friends, but she certainly didn't enjoy being ditched on such short notice. It was one of those things that she had acquired from her mother in the aspect that every minuet detail of the week had to go according to plan or life was hell. As such her Saturday was just that, a living hell. "Shut up!" she screamed at the top of her lungs in return to her mother's demand that she 'get off her lazy ass and find a life.' "I can do whatever I damn well please!"
Her mother's nostrils flared, eyes ablaze, as she stood in the doorway to her daughter's room. "Watch your mouth!" she snapped. "You'll never get anywhere if you toss around such vulgar language." she sighed irritably, rolling her eyes as if to say this was common knowledge when in fact it was not to most ordinary people. "Now get outside!" she added harshly.
"I told you!" Courtney spat. "I was going to, but Alexia had other stuff to deal with." a pause. "Duh!" Courtney rolled her eyes in the same manner as her mother had previously.
Her mother moved her hands to her hips. "So." she hissed, eyes narrowing into slits. "Go make new friends! You can never have enough acquaintances." she nodded firmly.
Courtney licked her lips, an annoyed smile of the sorts making its way onto her lips. "Which is it mom?" she murmured with obvious contempt. "Do I need more friends or just acquaintances?" she breathed in deeply, trying to keep herself under control. "Because in case you didn't notice they aren't the freaking same thing!" she turned herself around in her bed so that she was facing the she-devil. "A friend actually takes time and effort to earn and keep! An acquaintance is someone you basically use to further yourself! So think hard about this mom. Which one am I supposed to have?" she smirked darkly, seething with anger stemming from both Alexia's absence and her mother's hardheadedness.
Her mother, unlike Courtney, did not attempt to hide her fury behind a mask, she let her words fly. "Stop being a smartass!" she spat, shaking from rage and totally overlooking the fact she had cussed.
"Ah!" Courtney raised a hand in the air to wag a finger at her mother for being hypocritical. "Language." she said in a mocking tone, vengeful smile spreading across her face.
"That's it!" she slammed her fist into the wall, finding nothing else within reach to hit. "I don't know where you got this arrogant behavior from, but it has to stop!" she breathed heavily in and out. "So the next time you even think of undermining me there will be consequences! You got that!" she barked.
Courtney snorted, twirling her hair in her fingers. "Whatever mom." she murmured, rolling her eyes in hopes that her mother would see and become further pissed. It was a bad habit, she knew, but as a release when things happened to go array she set to doing everything in her power to send her mother into a frenzy of her own. She realized that this put her in the same category as her mom as far as self-control went, but in this case she really didn't care all that much. Maybe she'd eventually break the habit, perhaps turning her rage onto that punk Duncan at school, but more then likely she wouldn't. After what happened Friday she honestly couldn't be sure of anything concerning him.
"Get out!" she bellowed. "Just get out!" she ran her fingers through her hair and closed her eyes tight as a way to soothe herself, it barely working.
Courtney scrunched up her face. "What?" she growled through clenched teeth. "This is my room! You can't tell me to stay out of it."
"Yeah?" she opened her eyes a sliver to stare down darkly at her daughter. "Well, guess what. This is my house. And I say that you aren't to step a foot in it until you accomplish something worthwhile!"
Courtney thought about it a minute, frowning as she weighed the cost of disobeying. She knew well she'd probably get smacked for her resistance, nothing new. She also knew that her mother was an instant away from slipping over the edge and quite literally spewing poison. It wasn't that she liked her mother's hurt feelings, she just couldn't help it considering her mother did everything in her power to make her miserable. She'd suffered through it for years, having to be that perfect little girl that everyone wanted to have, being an all-star student, dismissing those who were 'unworthy' or would only drag her down in the future, and basically doing everything that no normal person should be expected to do. And after a while it takes its toll. She was no exception to the rule. Yet in this moment she still found herself conforming to her mother's picture perfect vision. She sighed heavily, hanging her head. "Fine." she breathed, rolling over off the bed into a standing position a few arms lengths away from her mother. "I'll go."
Her mother's desperate, rage consumed face transformed. It was like a tremendous burden was lifted from her shoulders the way her brow lifted away from her eyes, mouth curving in to a pleasant smile, eyes round and gentle once more. "Good." she walked within arms reach of Courtney, ruffling her hair. "That's my girl." she sounded like any other mother in the instant, like the person Courtney yearned to have around every moment of the day, and the one thing that would never happen no matter how hard she tried or how perfect she was.
Courtney brightened instantly, loving the feel of her mother's gentle touch despite herself. It was one of those things she couldn't help but rejoice in no matter the circumstances and ultimately was what broke her in choosing whether to go along with her mother or vie against her wishes. For she so loved to bask in the occasional offering of affection her mother gave. It was her weakness, her true reason for trying her very hardest to appear perfect. Sad, isn't it? "Of course." she chirped, an edge of bitterness evident in her words following. "I live to serve…"
"Run along then." she said softly, ceasing her rubbing motion and turning away from Courtney as if to say 'the conversation is over.' Courtney knew this well.
Courtney sighed sadly, slowly exiting what was supposed to be her domain without a clue as to what she was supposed to do in the hours that followed. There was no one in this stupid town who she knew well enough to drop by unannounced, there was no place to seek refuge that would also prove to hold her attention, and there certainly wasn't a 'special spot'. She'd had one back in her old hometown. It was the fountain in the park. No matter what time of year it was she knew she could find solace in its presence.
She sighed again as she passed through the kitchen to float soundlessly out the back door to meet the harsh elements. It was only the beginning of September yet she could already feel the onset of winter. She liked to think it was some sort of God given talent. Although in this case she was pretty sure it was little more then the fact she was so sparsely dressed. She was still in her nightwear, a t-shirt with the picture of some pokemon or another, and shorts the color yellow. A breeze picked up and she shivered automatically, bringing her arms up around herself as a shield. As goose bumps formed on her skin she pondered whether she should go back in and grab a jacket, even going so far as to turn around toward the house before she mentally slapped herself for thinking up the stupid idea. She would have to be foolish to risk stepping a foot back on the threshold in such a short amount of time. On top of that she saw her mother rounding the corner in that instant.
Courtney let out a sharp squeak, ducking down below the window to conceal herself. She found it to be a pitiful excuse for cover, but she realized it really made little difference, especially when she heard something she hadn't heard in years float to her on the wind.
Her mother was humming a catchy yet simultaneously soothing tune to herself as she moved about the kitchen in an automated manner. First she went to the cabinets above the stove, drawing from it a bowl or two, then she swept toward the food cupboard to put a multitude of containers in the bowl to later mix together, and after she set it all down she clicked on the preheat option on the stove. The movements weren't what shocked Courtney though as she peeked over the sill of the window with innocent curiosity, it was the fact that her mother did all this with a smile. She hadn't seen her so happy since forever.
Courtney stared wide eyed onto the scene before her. What was wrong with her? She had been about to burst a minute before. Nothing on earth had the ability to change this woman so quickly, unless… "No…" Courtney hissed, eyes narrowing. Was it because she had won their argument? Was this the ultimate pleasure for her twisted mind? Courtney allowed a low growl to erupt from her throat as the thought crossed her mind. She'd never forgive her mother if this were the case. No one who garnered such amusement from something so nerve-wracking deserved to be pardoned. And with a final irritated sigh Courtney picked herself up and stomped off around her house and down the sidewalk into the mysterious town she refused to call home.
While Courtney had immediately thought the worst of the woman in the kitchen in reality her fears were not true. Her mother, to an extent, was pleased at still being able to reign supreme over her seventeen year old daughter, but the true reason to her happiness was that once she'd shoved Courtney out of her own room she had found a priceless picture of them all together. Courtney had been but eight and they'd been camping out in the forest just outside of their old home. They even did a fair amount of fishing too since it was Courtney's obsession at the time. This being the case the picture that she now held in her hand had Courtney up close with a fish in her hands and a wide grin plastered on her face. Her parents were farther back, her mother's sister taking the picture. It was one of the only pictures where they all managed to be in it and more importantly it was one of the last remnants of proof that there had in fact been a point in time when the fights were nonexistent. Her mother heaved a heavy sigh, pressing the photo close to her chest for a moment before tucking it into the pocket of her pants and continuing on with her planned recipe.
Courtney had walked a full hour before she came to the conclusion she could not go any further without risking some sort of cold mixed with exhaustion related illness. Really it was only in her head. So she found the nearest seat which just so happened to be a bench that, sadly to Courtney, was by a skate park of the sorts. She lifted her head to the sky, groaning miserably before raising her hands up and allowing her head to fall easily into them. I just can't win!" she moaned, shaking her head in her heads. "I'm doomed to fail." as she griped on and on about her life to herself she couldn't help but take in all the sounds around her. Despite it being nearly dark out there was a remarkable amount of noise coming from the confines of the park. There was laughter from teens and kids alike as they mingled, the grinding of metal on metal, the skidding crunch of a sudden halt or two, and the more frequent sound of a body crashing to the ground. The latter made her smirk slightly and even had her looking up. As she did so her eyes widened. She didn't know why but seeing all these faces and not a one being a girl somehow frightened her. It wasn't that she feared the brutality or even the unceremonious flirting that they loved to do, more so she was afraid to face their jeers. Girls were obviously more catty then guys and maybe that's why when guys acted as such it hurt ten times worse. Or maybe it was the simple fact that she was used to be being treated poorly by girls thanks to her mom. All she knew was that she no longer wished to be where she was.
As she mentally spazzed she swore she heard her name said between a pair of boys who where looking strangely over at her. She was frozen all the while. But it was nothing. After a moment they turned away from her and went back to skating the day away.
After they'd moved on she calmed in an instant. Only she ended up wishing she had not. The calmer she grew the more consumed she became with what her life was turning into and she hated it. She hated how life still went on while she sat here, nothing more then old worn clothes on, freezing her ass off. All she wanted was to know that somewhere beyond the ridges of her mind and fake perfect life someone else was hurting too. Not hurting for themselves, but because they knew the true her and only wanted to see her smile. She scoffed at the very notion of smiling now as she stared out at the setting sun. They'd all be leaving soon. Darkness would fall and they'd scatter like bugs because if there was one thing no one wanted to be in it was darkness. For within its depths lied uncertainties and horrible truths which humans were unwilling to face on their own, unless, of course, they had someone to fight with them. Unfortunately Courtney was not one who had the privilege of this advantage. She was utterly alone as the light disappeared.
Darkness had settled now, crickets feeling safe enough to come out and chirp, stars shining brightly alongside the full moon, wind gently blowing the leaves on the trees and grass beneath her feet as she remained motionless. No longer did the sounds of the skate park reach her, as she predicted, they'd vanished, only a street light nearby casting a glow enough to give her visible proof of this. Everything was at peace. Everything but the girl hidden in shadows.
Suddenly there was a stir of movement to her far right and her head shot up instantly. Her eyes were wide, but strangely void of any emotion. She had merely been startled, heart skipping a beat. All in all she was oddly composed to be all alone at night when creepers slunk about, especially after having heard an unnatural sound.
"If it isn't the princess herself." a voice said snidely from the same direction of the disturbance.
Courtney didn't even have to look up to know who she was speaking to, she just parted her lips and let the words fall into place, "Duncan. Not now." she ran her fingers through her matted hair, closing her eyes to him as if it would somehow make him vanish like all the other miscreants had.
He snorted. "Someone's in a bad mood." he chortled, happier then Courtney imagined a person could be only a day after a breakdown as he had had.
Courtney's jerked her gaze up from the ground over to the delinquent hidden by the same shadows as she was, sending daggers at him with the intensity in her eyes. "I. Said. Don't." she growled through clenched teeth, mimicking her mothers tactic of slicing through defenses by making each word its own sentence in hopes of getting the point across that this was no game.
Duncan frowned as he stepped out into the light of the lamp a few feet away. "Easy." he said like one would say to a horse who was going a little to fast.
His tone angered Courtney further, sparking a fire within her that she fought off on a daily basis. Only this time she didn't bother. "Don't talk to me like I'm a horse!" she snapped, face set in a mixture of fury and hurt as she burned a hole through Duncan. Her only weakness in the moment was her fragile state of mind and, more so, Duncan himself. The way his green mohawk and loose strands of jet black hair swayed gently in the wind, teal eyes shined in the light of the lamp, and face looked just dirty and ruffed up enough to be charming instead of revolting made her suck in a sharp breath.
Duncan narrowed his eyes slightly, not liking the tone she was taking with him. It wasn't that he wasn't used to her hating him, it was just that not being at school made him feel like it should be different between them for when he wasn't there he didn't feel an overwhelming need to show his dominance. When he was out away from the place where people were forced into cliques the moment they entered the God forsaken building he felt free. He wanted to believe that everyone else felt the same as well. Unfortunately, Courtney included, not a lot of others held this belief. He growled under his breath. "I wasn't." he grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets and moving closer.
Courtney watched him carefully, making sure to not let a single one of his moves escape her. He could not be trusted. "Bullshit." she hissed, venom dripping from her words.
He halted as he came over just behind her, drawing his hands from his pockets to place them firmly on the bench backrest on both sides of her. "I was just poking fun." he shrugged, knowing full well that she did not see the movement.
She didn't let on that she was watching him all the while, peering suspiciously out of the corner of her eye at the youth who she never believed would stand so close to her without putting her down.
He lifted his head up to the sky, closing his eyes and letting the rising wind blow through his hair and bring him the comfort he needed on a daily basis. He loved how nature could always do that. "Nothing personal." he said after a moment.
Courtney dared to tilt her head back a smidgen, catching a glint in his now slightly opened eyes. She liked that look. It was daring yet soothing all the while. She didn't se that often in a guy, they were either daring and evil or soothing and pathetic. The only other guy she'd seen such a spark in was Zane. Ironically the two were best friends. She visibly cringed at the thought. She missed him so. If only she could take back the words from a week ago so that they would still be close.
Duncan easily noticed her change in facial expression due to his uncanny ability to pick up on micro expressions. It was why he could win a fight with ease and he came out unscathed nine times out of ten. It was one thing he took pride in in and out of school, one of the few things. "What's wrong?" he said automatically, not liking the pained look playing across her flawless face.
Courtney started slightly, surprised by his concern, especially considering how genuine it sounded to her ears. "W-What…?" she murmured, lowering her head back down so that she no longer saw him hovering over her.
Duncan looked away from her, shifting slightly due to how uncomfortable openly showing emotion made him feel. "Something is upsetting you." he repeated in different words.
Courtney stiffened, gluing her eyes on a tree across the road which she really couldn't see all too well. It was just an easy excuse if he were to ask her what was more important than paying attention to him. "No." she muttered with an edge. "I'm fine." she lied through her teeth.
He rolled his eyes at her resistance. "Liar."
She cringed worse then before, clenching her hands into tight fists as she struggled to keep her cool as her lip trembled badly. She loathed being called a select number of things, one being a liar. It wracked her down to her very core no matter if it was true or false. "No." she shook her head in the negative, voice shaking. "No, it's not…"
Duncan being as perceptive as he was once again sensed that this was a lie. However this time he tried a different approach. It was something his mother used on him whenever he was feeling particularly stubborn to her concerns. Reverse psychology. "Fine." he shrugged slightly. "It doesn't matter."
Courtney's eyes widened considerably. "How can you say that?" she whispered weakly.
Duncan swallowed hard, thinking back to the day before when she had said something extremely similar to this about him and his episode. He didn't hold it against her, she didn't understand, but it still made him hold his breath and his heart ache. Just because you don't get something doesn't mean it's ok to say it is insignificant. "Why not?" he went on. "If nothing is wrong then why should it matter?" he watched her body language vigilantly then, not wanting to miss the slightest sign of her bending one way or the other.
Courtney bit down on her lip, holding back the pain that filled her as best she could. For how was she to say what was on her mind? She could not. Not to this delinquent. She didn't care that he had obvious problems as she did, they weren't the same and she was sure he'd end up spilling all her secrets to the school as some sick twisted form of revenge. She couldn't risk it. She shook her head violently from side to side. "You don't understand!" she cried.
Duncan moved a hand from the bench to rest gently on her shoulder. The contact was something he was not well versed in and as such he found himself holding his breath. The only physical contact he ever made was with Zane on those occasional off days and his mom whenever she felt like it. But never had he really had to initiate the contact when he was of good state of mind. "I'm sure I do more then you know." he said it with strife, recalling bitter memories that he quickly pushed back beneath the surface.
Courtney trembled beneath his touch, not sure that this was real or a part of her vivid imagination. The Duncan she knew would never act so considerate. There was no way this was happening! But…if it was…then, what was it that bound him to her in this moment? "No!" she screamed, jumping up from her place on the bench and swirling around to face him. She had a panicky look about her, eyes wide with tears lacing them, mouth curved sharply down as her lips trembled much like her hands. "I won't tell you anything! You'll laugh! Turn it against me somehow!" she choked back sobs as she ranted. "It's the way you are! The way you'll always be!"
Duncan was taken aback by her quickness to jump to conclusions. Was this her real reason behind being so resistant? Did it have nothing to do with the severity of her heartache? Only that he was him she refused to open up to him. It stung, rattling him deep down to the core. Typical. No one trusted him. Few had a valid reason either, they were all simply like her in believing he was bent on crushing them at any given moment. Did no one, not even her, see that there were some things he could be serious about and knew better then to use to screw them over? He grit his teeth hard, grinding them. "You know what?" he snapped. "Fine! Screw this!" his shook with a mixture of anger and hurt. "Why do I even bother?" he threw his hands into the air. "I should know by now nothing I do matters! No one wants my help no matter how willing I am to give it! So just screw you!" he hadn't meant to say all that out loud. It just happened. Yet he only regretted the last sentence. As such he turned himself around so that he didn't have to look at her devastated face for more then a fraction of a second. Still, despite his preventive measures he couldn't help but see, from the corner of his eye, her crumple.
Her knees shook for a moment before they buckled underneath her and she was on her knees on the wet grass. It soaked through her pants, sending a shiver up her spine which she tried to counter by wrapping her arms about herself. It did no good as she continued to shake, but not from the cold, it was due to her own pitiful emotions which she failed to control any more.
Duncan bit his lip, looking anywhere but at her. He could not ask for a better time to have a distraction. However, just like always, there was nothing good enough to keep him from listening to her choked sobs. He hated it, just like he'd hated it that day after he ruined her life. There was just something about her that ate away at his very being, something he didn't think he'd ever fully understand. The only thing clear to him at this point was that he wanted, no, needed, to get her to stop her incessant crying. "Courtney…" he said softly, rubbing his foot around in circles on the ground. Although all the while his expression remained stone cold, as if this fact alone would excuse his inexplicable weakness.
She didn't pay him any mind, wrapped up in her own world of agony. The only thought passing through her head of Duncan now was that she wanted him gone. Now! She couldn't take another torturous minute of his hate or, worst of all, his compassion. Kindness only heightened her pain seeing as she was unable to handle it without hurting him in return. And hurting him for doing good made her feel like the bad guy.
Duncan waited for her to say anything, even the tiniest of words. When she showed no signs of doing so he padded slowly over to her, lowering himself down to her height with unbelievable uncertainty, his heart pounding in his ears. "Don't…" he trailed off, moving a hand up in the air above her shoulder but not touching her. He preferred not to see her lash out as she'd instinctively done before.
Courtney felt the warmth spewing from his hand without him even touching her. It was a feeling she wished to feel on a daily basis, something she never had because she was no cheerleader. She did not wear layers of make-up or spend hours on her hair, and she most certainly didn't wear those skimpy skirts and shirts that revealed far too much. And perhaps the predominant factor in it all was her figure. Her waist wasn't thin enough, body didn't curve the right way, breasts weren't big enough, and butt didn't stand out either. The only thing she had was her smarts, and to most that was more of a turn off then anything, at least for the hot guys. It was this yearning to have someone to call her own, even for a moment, that kept her from shying away. Her only movement was her shaking from sadness.
Duncan saw that she was at least willing to remain still and pressed his luck further, much further. Although he did not know why. He wanted her to cease crying, that was a given, but there was more to it. Despite all the logic in the world he did not understand his intense desire to wrap his arms around the shattered image of this perfect girl. She looked cold though. He sensed she needed warmth, but not only that. He saw that she too desired the contact all of a sudden. So, he told himself, in order to fulfill her wish he would do it. He refused to accept the fact that just maybe he wanted to do it for himself, that he had connected with her due to her hidden turmoil that appeared so alike to his own. With that final thought he slowly scooted himself closer, wrapping his large arms around her tiny waist and let his head linger a few inches above her shoulder, his breath tickling her skin.
Courtney was made breathless by his bold move, unable to protest, unwilling to move away. For as much as she loathed his very being, here in this moment of time things were strangely different. He wasn't the same ruthless creep who was set on both making her miserable at every turn while shielding her from anyone else's wrath. He was almost human. "D-Duncan…" she whispered hoarsely.
He breathed in her scent, that of tangerines, the smell relaxing him. "Something wrong?" he murmured in her ear, nearly the same words as at the start of her bitterness.
She parted her lips to tell him the truth, all of it, about how her home life was hell, how she missed Zane and wished he'd look at her again, and even how Duncan himself made her miserable, but halfway through the action she froze. She was unable to ruin this, especially with her last gripe. She knew how hard it would hit him no matter his feelings toward her because right now things were, as she said before, different. They could easily pass as other people entirely. "No…" she finally managed, tears slowing dramatically and sobs dissipating. "Not anymore." she added without thinking, allowing her eyes to fall shut so she could better feel all the little things. As she predicted she felt it all ten times more then with her eyes open. She felt Duncan's warm hands squeeze her ever so slightly once and a while, his breath run down her neck with more intensity, she even realized that he had his head resting lightly up against the side of hers for some reason or another when before she was sure it hadn't been there. No matter how different all these little acts were from each other all completed the same role. Each brought her unimaginable comfort and warmth, so much that she completely forgot that mere moments before she had been freezing and choking out sobs. She didn't even remember her mother's betrayal. Her mind was a blank.
Duncan watched as her face lost its tenseness, eyes falling shut with ease. And he watched it closely. He saw what others wouldn't in a million years as well. He noticed the corners of her mouth turn up a smidgen, her tightened fists unfurl, body grow slack, breath even out, and overall demeanor grow less heated and bitter to turn into what he could only describe as bliss. The only problem with this scene for him was that he was the one causing the change and not just an innocent bystander. He created this sense of peace for the fragile girl, picked up the pieces of her heart so to speak, and she was in his arms. It was all him. And he didn't know how to handle it. All he could do was remain nearly motionless, holding Courtney loosely as the chill night air crept up on them, leaving him to fend it off, to keep her warm and secure. He didn't have to. He just did. And he didn't know why.
Aww, their first connection. Isn't it adorable? But does he love her? Or was it nothing more then a moment of weakness? You may never know! *evil laugh* Plz review! :D