I walked into the gym in a huff. This day really had not turned out how I had planned it. As I entered the training room my breath caught. My attention immediately drawn to the back corner where Dimitri was effectively demolishing one of the training dummies with his bare hands. He pummeled away at it not seeming to realize I had come in. He kept pounding away and I was awe struck again at his beauty, strength, and speed. As he went to town on the dummy I realized just how much of a god he really was. I also realized I was completely right he was pissed, and he was likely pissed at me.
Here we go I thought as I walked closer to him. He didn't stop when I came closer; though I was sure he now knew I was there. I stood next to him a few minutes in silence, while he continued his beating. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I knew he was pissed but I needed to get this over with, I needed it done. I stepped in behind the practice dummy and placed my chin on its fake shoulder and said, "Ok Comrade let me have it."
He froze and shifted his gaze to my eyes; he looked at me with his devastatingly beautiful eyes and said, "Let you have what, Rose." His breathing was even but heavy, a telling sign of how much energy he had been exerting. It was kind of hot, it reminded me of the way he would get breathless after one of our heated make out sessions. He turned and started away from me towards the supply cabinet. He grabbed the first aid kit and started back towards the workout mat. "Sit down" he yelled to me and I immediately went to sit on the mat. He came over and sat across from me, leaving just a little space in between our legs. He met my eyes with his and we sat there for a moment just looking at each other. I felt my heat rate pick up the waiting was killing me. If Dimitri and I were going to have it out, if we were going to fight I wanted to get on with it. Waiting would just make the inevitable battle that much worse.
"Come on Dimitri can we do this already the wait is making me crazy." He raised his one eyebrow in that sexy little curve looking at me with disbelief written all over his face.
" I don't know what your talking about Rose", when he spoke his voice was calm and warm, but I knew he was still angry so why was he being so gentle with me. I was getting frustrated.
"Get on with the lecture, the Zen wisdom crap that is just bubbling inside you after what happened today, come on Dimitri let me have it." I looked him up at him with desperate eyes. He looked back at me threw calm and tender ones.
"No lecture, no Zen wisdom crap, how can I guide you Rose, when I don't even know what happened." He looked right at me with such tender caring eyes, I almost went into shock when I felt him take my hand in his. I had been expecting our normal combative back and forth. I expected Dimitri to be his wise guardian self, trying to encourage me to do the right thing, to tell the truth, to 'be all that I could be' as a guardian. Instead he said no more just sat there in silence as he put a salve on my hand finally granting comfort to the burns I had suffered earlier that day holding Christian back. So Dimitri had noticed the burns, I thought I did a fairly good job of hiding it, in fact I had almost forgotten that I had been burned at all. That was until I felt the relief that the salve offered, then I realized how much pain I had actually been in and how good Dimitri's hands felt lightly caressing my skin as he rubbed the salve in. I watched my hand in his as he worked. He mumbled something about waiting so long to treat it, and babbled a few Russian curse words, something I still hadn't been able to convince him to teach me. When he was finished he wrapped my hand in a white gauze dressing. He held my hand in one of his large warm hands and continued to gently caress my injury. His other hand lifted my chin so I would be staring directly into his deep brown eyes. They were so beautiful, so warm, and so focused on me. It was amazing, I could actually see how much he loved me right there in his eyes. I wanted to crawl into them and live there forever.
When he spoke his voice was soft and low, "I have this dream Rose, where you trust me one day. Trust me enough to tell me the truth, the real truth and without my begging for it. Where you look into my eyes and know I want nothing more than to protect you and your heart. Where I wouldn't have to sit here and wonder why your hand is burned. Why you either protected your stalker or lied and said you did for some reason that I am sure makes sense somewhere in Your head." He sighed as he tapped a finger against my temple "But that is just a dream Rose, I wonder if it will ever come true?" He raised his eyebrow to accentuate the fact that he meant it as a question. I didn't need the raised eyebrow… I got it. I knew it was a question, but I didn't have an answer for him; certainly not one that he would want to hear. I trusted Dimitri; truly I did, more than I ever trusted anyone in my life in fact. But that wasn't really saying all that much. I have never trusted anyone but myself. My instincts, my conscious and my subconscious were what guided me through life before Dimitri. That was a hard habit to break. So I said nothing because I had nothing to say. I didn't want to shut him out but I couldn't explain this, it was too risky. I didn't know what game Adrian was playing here but I knew it was one that he had Lissa involved in up to her neck. I knew how much being a guardian meant to Dimitri. I knew what he had sacrificed already by allowing himself to love me, and I knew what his honor meant to him. I wouldn't ask him to keep any more secrets for me then we already had to keep. He was already breaking all the rules because he loved me. I would protect him even if he didn't understand that is what I was doing. I would lie to him for his own good. I had to.
"Dimitri" I began " It really is nothing to worry about. Stupid high school crap that you don't care about"
He cut me off curtly grabbing both my wrists in his hands and pulling me up as he put them up into a stop right there type position so my palms were open facing him and I was now repositioned on my knees "Your injured, I care! Understand?" he said with fire in his eyes and his voice.
"Yes," I let out a long breath, I was able to sink back a little to rest my butt on my heals but Dimitri still hadn't released my wrists " I understand that I'm sorry" I said "It really wasn't a big deal, Christian had a little trouble controlling his fire, and I touched him at the wrong time. No big I swear." I looked at him with one of my killer pleading smiles. I saw the effect I had on him and again it made me feel powerful. It reminded me of the recent day we had spent in my bedroom. Dimitri's want for me his passion and his love, affected him a lot. I could see it trying to win over his guardian logic, my feminine wiles begging him to swallow the lies and halve truths that I was spewing, all the while his brain was screaming not to listen.
His brain won out, damn I must be slipping I thought. "Why don't you trust me Roza," his voice was filled with desperation. He stood up off the mat pulling me with him by the wrists he was still holding. He pulled me right against his chest. Maybe his brain was winning but he wasn't exactly in control.
" I do trust you Dimitri I do" I was breaking down it was so hard to keep things from him. "Dimitri please listen to me, I swear I have everything under control. Really it isn't a big deal if it was I would come to you. I will come to you, I promise. You ask me to trust you well I am asking the same of you. Trust me that I have learned to ask for help when I really need it. I won't make that mistake again." My eyes started filling with tears. Dimitri's glare softened and he put his arms around me in a tight bear hug. His strong arms made me feel so safe. If only I could live there forever.
"Rose, I know how much you've learned, I know what losing him cost you. I'm sorry I do trust you. Just please promise me, you will come to me if you need me for anything. There isn't anything I wouldn't do." Really what an interesting thought a slight smile came across my lips I pulled back from him and looked up at him with wanting eyes.
"Comrade there are lots of things I need you for and I would love for you to do any of those things to me right now." I reached up on my tiptoes and started tracing my tongue across the opening of his mouth. I needed to switch gears, my thoughts of Mason were too much too sad and I didn't want to go there. I am a big fan of denial, push it back and only deal with it when you have to. So I focused on the way Dimitri made me feel. He sighed and pulled me deeply into a full blazing kiss. His mouth was ferocious against mine. I had to break the kiss to get some air, his mouth immediately refocused on my neck. I was holding myself up to him using his shoulders for support while his arms were wrapped so tight around my back I could barely move. His mouth searched up my neck for my lips again and he went right back to his assault. After several more minutes of our heated kiss, Dimitri finally pulled back a little resting his chin against my forehead.
"I will trust you, like you asked Roza, but hear me on this, I find you hurt in any way again, there better be a reason, and a person who I can make pay. Do you understand? He pulled back holding me away from him by my upper arms so he could look me in the eyes. His eyes were still raging with passion from our kiss but there was more there. Anger, a need to protect. I was asking him to accept that I could be hurt and it tormented him. This was not good. Everything Dimitri feared was happening. He let himself love me and now I came first. The last guy who made that mistake is dead.