Author's note: Blatant crack ahead. I don't even know D:
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Sometimes, when Kimimaro got too excited, his body would erupt into bones.
At first, Anko thought the whole thing was hilarious. "Eh, not the only hard thing on you, huh?" she said, and Kimimaro squirmed and blushed as she pressed against his lap. But then those bones would erupt at the most inopportune times; while he kissed her in the mornings; while he made love to her at night. "Goddamn it, Kimimaro, you cut my hand with your spine!"
"My apologies," Kimimaro said. His face was one huge blush.
The worst was when it happened mid-coitus, Anko's face flushed and buried into Kimimaro's shoulder as he thrust, gripping her hard and panting; at the moment of completion, bones would spring up from his shoulders, nearly impaling Anko in the process.
"You need to control yourself," Anko said. Kimimaro was hunched over the bed, shame-faced and letting the bones recede. "What if you kill me in the process?"
"Forgive me," Kimimaro said.
"Ugh," Anko said. "This is probably the reason why your bloodline limit is so fucking rare."
"I did not mean to hurt you."
"Uh huh." Anko draped her body over Kimimaro's shoulders, her bare breasts pressed against his back. "Maybe I should teach you a lesson," Anko said, and she let her fingertips trail across the line of his abdomen.
A shard of bone thrust sharply up from Kimimaro's chest. "Dammit!" Anko said.
"S-sorry!"
"You're going to kill me!"
"I am so ashamed."
It was Tsunade who came up with the solution. "Deplete his chakra," Tsunade said. "Make him good and tired first so that he can't make more bone. Except, you know. The one you want."
Anko's face reddened. "Oh!"
And so it was that Anko and Kimimaro took to midnight sparing; it was a strange kind of foreplay, but they were shinobi so they made it work.
A/N: I realize with the last drabble, he isn't *supposed* to use his chakra, etc. etc., but whatever. None of these are technically connected, so yeah.
...I can't believe I wrote this. *facepalm*