Disclaimer: Still don't own Harry Potter.

Chapter 2

"Mama?" her voice is timid as she walks into my room. "Are you better now?" I put my arms out for her to jump into my lap. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, my face tear stained from an hour of solid sobs. Holding her in my arms I wipe away the last of my tears.

"All better now, I promise." I say planting a kiss on her forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too." she says curling further into my hold. We sit like that for who knows how long. It is only then that I notice that she has attempted to change into her pyjamas. Her pyjama pants are on back to front and her top doesn't match. Still my baby I think to myself.

"What's this then?" I question, pulling at her odd attire. She gives a little shrug. "How about we go get you fixed up in a pair that match at least?" Giving a little giggle she runs ahead of me into her room. Following her down to the end of the hall I enter her bedroom. She is already pulling a new pair of flannelette pjs from her chest of drawers. After she is changed I jump into bed beside her and we read yet another chapter of her beloved Hogwarts a History. "Is it really like that mama? With the forest and quidditch? Can we go mama? Can we go and see it?"

"You'll see it when you're 11 and that is soon enough for me."

"I can't wait to go to school." she says in between a big yawn. "I'm... gon take... 'Rion... righ...ma...ma?" Her eyes are shut before she can finish her sentence. I pull the book from her grasp and place it on her small bedside table before pulling up her bedspread. My heart breaks at the thought of her going to Hogwarts... to be without her for so long... my baby girl. Looking at her so soundly asleep I remember wishing for this peace so many years ago when she was a baby. My thoughts are interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. Although it's not that late for visitors, we hardly ever have any. I didn't really feel the need to make friends when I first moved away. I'm therefore always wary of anyone who appears at my home.

It's been five years, six months and twelve days since I've laid eyes on him. He still looks the same as the day I left him... gorgeous. He's standing in front of me in a pair of black jeans and a white button down shirt, top four buttons undone of course. He hasn't changed.

"Sirius" I breathe.

"Mi... is it true?" His voice is like ice. I'm afraid to say anything. Do I play dumb? Pretend that Lyra isn't sleeping in the next room? I don't say anything. Instead I open the door a little wider and stand to the side to let him in. There is no escaping this conversation now and I really don't want to have it out in the hall of my apartment building.

He steps inside and walks a few steps to the centre of the room. I can see him taking in the room, or more importantly Lyra's many things that litter our small living space. His eyes are focused on a pile of children's books and a stuffed dragon on the sofa. He moves over to one of the many moving photographs on the walls. It was taken just a few months ago on her fifth birthday. She's scrambling over my back and into my lap, laughing the entire time. He just stands in front saying nothing. I don't know what to do. I'm getting more and more nervous the longer he is still.

"She looks so much like me."

My throat has closed up. I manage to choke out an "I know."

"Did you know you were pregnant when you left?"

"Yes." I can hardly hear my answers.

"Why?" At this he turns around to face me. "How could you? You leave one morning and never come back. I thought that - you could have been dead. Then you write one damn letter to Harry - not to me. TO HARRY! Telling him that your safe and need time away from everyone. What the hell did I ever do to make you hate me so much?"

"I didn't hate you. I was in love with you! You betrayed me. I was hurt!" I yell at him.

"You were naive." he yells back at me.

"Do not try and take the high road with me Sirius."

"YOU TOOK MY CHILD FROM ME!"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT YOU HAD A CHILD!"

"And I guess I still wouldn't know if Harry had not of said something. At first I didn't believe him - my own Godson. I didn't think you were capable... but as soon as I saw you, what you've become" he sneers, giving me a once over "I knew it was true - that you could have done it in a heartbeat."

"Harry should never have said anything. It wasn't his place."

"He cared Hermione! He cared enough to -" his voice halts automatically, as he stares over my shoulder. I turn around sharply when I hear her little voice behind me.

"Daddy?" She is in my arms before she can utter another syllable.

"Shh shh... back to sleep baby." My voice is shaking slightly as I carry her back to bed. Her eyes might be droopy now, but in the morning she'll realise that she wasn't dreaming. Why did he have to do this? Silencing her room to be sure she isn't woken again, I head back into the lounge. But there is no one there. He's already gone.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

It would seem that seeing Lyra in person had an unwanted effect on Sirius. I knew that he would never be able to handle this... that is part of the reason why I kept her a secret all this time. As much as I want him to stay away, Lyra has seen him. "Was my daddy here last night?" The question is so direct I don't know how to react. With the truth Hermione.

"Yes honey."

"Is he coming home now?" My breath catches in my throat. She is spooning cereal into her mouth, while still looking at me.

"He came to visit Lyra. You know that Daddy doesn't live with us."

"Will he visit with me next time? I want to show him Orion... and my Hogwarts book, and my hippogriff drawing. I think he would like that one."

"I don't know if he'll visit again, but I'm sure he'd like your drawing too."

"And Orion." she reminds me.

"And Orion." I repeat.

I know what I have to do now. She needs this. I can't keep him from her any longer. After breakfast I go directly to my bedroom intent on writing an owl to Sirius. But my hand just won't cooperate. It takes three hours before I get the correct wording.

Sirius,

I wish that this was easier to write, but we both know that there will never be enough words to explain why I did what I did, or how I felt at the time. I would however still like to try. I want you to understand. Not for my sake. I do not seek your forgiveness. I need this for Lyra. Your unexpected appearance last night has had an effect on her. As I'm sure you noticed last night she knew exactly who you were. I have never kept you a secret from her. I was not ashamed of you or our relationship. Not like you were of me. Please understand that I have moved on from how you hurt me all those years ago. But know that you did hurt me, whether you were aware of it or not. I'm not even sure if you will remember the event that shaped my life, but for me it still rings like yesterday.

I heard you Sirius. I heard what you said to half of the order - to Lupin, Harry, Kingsley, Bill, Charlie... I was scared to tell you I was pregnant. I didn't know what to say... how to say that I was going to have your child. That you were going to have to become a father. I didn't want you to think that I had planned it - that I was trying to change you. I came over that night like I did most nights, but you were in the lounge. I heard the laughing from the hall. And then I heard my name and a number of others. I don't even know if you will remember it but I do. I'll remember every word for the rest of my life. I truly loved you Sirius, as you were. I would have done anything for you. To you however, I was nothing more than... well you didn't feel the same way.

I don't know what else to write. All I know is that you are now a part of Lyra's life. She has seen you. You are more than just a photograph. So if you are willing, I would like to meet and talk. I would like you to meet Lyra again.

I'll be at The Leaky Cauldron tomorrow afternoon.

Hermione

I seal the letter in an envelope and hold it out to the tawny barn owl that is currently perched on the windowsill. "This letter needs to find Sirius Black." The look she gives me is definitely one of confusion. She hasn't flown this journey in years. "Do you still remember?" She gives me a withering stare before launching herself into the sky. Of course she would remember. Now all I need to do is psych myself up into actually going. Seeing him last night was enough.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~

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