Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

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Chapter 3

"Thank you so much for doing this Martha. I shouldn't be too long... I-"

"Are you sure you want to do this Mi?" Having known Martha for years I'm used to her worries. We've been friends since I first moved to study at the Salem Academy - my escape from England. A transfer student, she came back to Britain around the same time that I did and now lives only a block away. She is a good person... my best friend I guess. She is the one person in my life who knows about my relationship with Sirius and my reasons for leaving him. "He really hurt you. Are you sure that putting yourself out there like this is good for you."

"I'm not doing this for him... or for me. I'm doing this for Lyra. She saw him Martha. He's not just another face in a photograph any more. He's real. She needs this... and it was wrong of me to keep her from having it for so long."

Pursing her lips a little she concedes. A second later Lyra herself is bounding into the room yelling in typical Lyra fashion. "Aunt Marty! Can we bake brownies again? Pleeeassee!"

I quirk my eyebrow. "Brownies?"

"Kid that was meant to be a secret. Now your mum will be wanting some!" Martha says giving me a wink.

Taking that as my cue to leave the two of them alone I grab my bag and kiss my daughter goodbye. "I'll be home later." I call heading out the door. Heading to the closest disapparating point I once again begin to doubt my outfit choice. I changed three times before I was happy with this one. In the end I just threw on a pair of jeans. Pulling on my navy blue jacket over my white tank, I tie my curls up in a pony tail (of course half of them spring free before the band is fixed). No you look good! I tell myself. Casual but still good. You're a mother now. Of course you're going to look different!

Before I know it I'm at my destination and feeling the familiar squeezing sensation. When I open my eyes I'm at the back entrance to the leaky cauldron. Taking a deep breath I walk inside. He's not there. Scanning the room once more I take a look at my watch. It's three o'clock... afternoon. Maybe he's not coming...

At this thought the door swings open and there he is. And there I am standing like an idiot in the centre of the room. His eyes lock with mine and he begins to walk toward me. Neither of us speaks for a few seconds.

"We should sit" I finally say.

He doesn't appear to have taken in what I have said. Then before I know it he's gesturing over to the bar. "Tom. A private room." he calls out to the familiar man behind the counter. With a quick nod to one of the barmaids, we are lead into one of the many back rooms of the pub. As soon as we are alone Sirius silences the room. "I don't like people knowing my business." he says in answer to my questioning expression.

"Yeah I remember." I say with the slightest bit of an edge. He catches it though and his face contorts slightly.

"What you heard that day-" he begins.

"Don't! I can't! I don't want to think about it alright? And the last thing I want to do is talk about it." I say

He nods his head but I can see the anger in his eyes. "For today alright. But we will discuss it."

For a moment there is silence. I realise that I should bring up the topic that I came here to discuss - our daughter. He obviously reads my thoughts. "She knew who I was!" he states with a frown.

"Of course Sirius. I told you in the letter that I didn't keep you a secret from her... she's so perceptive, she probably would have figured it out sooner or later anyway." My voice is shaking. My hands are shaking. Being alone with him is bringing back all sorts of memories. I can't concentrate on his face for too long.

His voice drops with his next words. "She called me Daddy!" His face holds so much pain. My stomach is twisting with guilt. I can hardly stand to stay seated.

"I'm sorry." I all but whisper.

"You're sorry?" His tone is disbelieving. "You're sorry?" He practically yells. I'm out of my chair before his next breath. Tears are streaming down my face as I move swiftly for the door. He is faster than me though. His hand wraps around my arm as he pulls me around to face him. I'm openly sobbing now. "I don't know my own daughter Hermione... and you're SORRY! You heartless bitch!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY SIRIUS?" I scream at him. "I am a heartless bitch! Is that what you want to hear? That I hate myself? WELL NOW YOU KNOW!" His arms tighten around me and he shakes me a little. Then without warning he pushes me away from him. I stumble backwards and he makes his way back to his chair. "I can't forgive you for this." He says.

My chest clenches but I say what I've known since the moment I laid eyes on our daughter. "I know." I remain standing near the door, hiccuping slightly. I watch his shoulders slump.

"When can I see her?"

I want to say never. I don't want to have to see the pain I've caused him ever again. I want to run like last time. "Whenever you like - tomorrow?"

He stands quickly and is standing before me in a second. "Tomorrow then." He mutters. With that said he is out the door, leaving me alone. I slump to my knees and lean my head back against the wall as I let a sob overcome me. I'm so sorry...

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