Belphegor was known for holding a grudge and he always got his own back because he was the prince and princes' can do what they like. ~Ushishishishi~ Bel laughed in his head as he put luminous pink hair dye in his commanders shampoo, he enjoyed the mental images of his commander with pink hair trying to do his job with such stupid hair. He heard footsteps approaching so he swiftly left the bathroom and walked down to the kitchen with a smirk on his face. His Froggy walked down the corridor facing him having just left the kitchen "Sempai what did you do?" Fran asked straight faced "Ushishishishi, wait and find out un cute kohai" with 3 knifes plunged deep into Fran's back Bel left completely satisfied with a smirk on his royal face. "Bel chan I made breakfast" Lussuria cooed when Bel walked through the door, he wore a pink apron which made his gayness even more obvious than his damn hair did. "Ushishishishi thanks fag" Bel replied taking the breakfast, in return Lussuria turned to him hands on hips "That is no way to speak to big sis Luss, Bel chan" "Ushishishishi the prince wasn't aware that big sis' molested their brothers" Lussuria opened his mouth to say something but just then the Boss stormed in having just woke up from his sleep probably due to too many 'VOOOOOOOI'S" "Get me some damn meat and booze Trash" He demanded sitting in his chair "Coming right up Xan chan" Lussuria sung as he grabbed the already prepared meat and a bottle of wine with a glass. Bel and Xanxus both tucked into their meal, Xanxus sporting his usual scold and Bel had his normal Cheshire cat grin. "Why are you smirking scum" Xanxus asked (demanded) Bel after a while as the happiness pissed off the boss to no end "Ushishishishi wait and see Boss" Before Xanxus could question it further, Bel was again saved by the kitchen door opening, and in came the bosses stalker (A.K.A Levi) "Bossu I found you! I was so worried" Levi began but Xanxus cut him off "Shut it scum" and threw the glass at his Levi's head, the wine dripping from his head. "Scum clean that up" Boss ordered Levi and then demanded more booze and meat of big sis Luss. During this whole argument Bel did not hear the shower on in the room above and thus did not expect a bright pink long haired commander to come storming in more pissed than he was at the newspaper thing. "VVVVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS YOU PIECES OF SHIT WHO THE FUCK PUT THIS DAMN DYE IN MY GODDAMN SHAMPOO" Squalo boomed and Bel swore his ears were bleeding from the sheer noise also he swore he was pushed back due to the huge amount of force. Bel couldn't hold his laughter in anymore and just let it all out "Ushishishishishishishishishishishishishishishishi" he wasn't the only one because Xanxus was now pissing himself laughing and after seeing his boss laughing Levi felt it was okay to do so and continued laughing. Even when Fran came downstairs to find out what happened, upon seeing the commander, the Froggy fell on the floor rolling in laughter. Luss was the only one who didn't laugh instead he hugged the commander and said "Squ chan looks so adorable in his new hair, big sis Luss could just eat him all up" In reply the giant vein almost at bursting point earlier managed to grow almost the size of Squalo's head, he then threw Luss off him who fell on the floor near a still laughing Fran and jumped on the large table threatening all members with his sword hand. "VVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIII! STOP LAUGHING YOU BASTARDS WHO DID IT?!" He screamed beyond angry, hell he was beyond livid and whoever did it was going to be sliced by his sword into a million pieces. "Get down Trash I'm trying to eat" Xanxus said tipping the table over making Squalo fall on his ass and both Bel's and Xanxus' breakfasts fell on the commander making him dirty. "VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Squalo screamed the bowl of cereal which Bel loved fell on his head covering his pink hair in milk. "Don't be mad stupid long haired commander. It's an improvement as now at least woman won't hit on you as your hair screams gay" Fran spoke in his usual monotone voice. "SHUT UP YOU DAMN BRAT! IT WAS YOU WASN'T IT I SWEAR I WILL DISECT YOU DAMN FROG" Squalo screamed about to pounce from his spot on the floor when Bel put both arms on the surface of the table and rested his head in them, his Cheshire cat grin larger than usual "Ushishishishi, only the prince can call the un cute kohai a Frog and it wasn't my Froggy it was the prince" Squalo almost blew up and would've sliced the stupid Princes' head off if he hadn't of moved and Xanxus didn't grab his hair stopping him "VVVVVOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIII! WHAT THE HELL BASTARD BOSS!" In reply the boss just said "Shut up scum you're giving me a headache! Trash go to the supermarket to get me more meat and booze with those two piece of scum" Xanxus yelled referring to Fran and Belphegor and with that left the room, however, not before throwing the while bottle at Squalo's head for good measure. Squalo stormed out of the room using the opposite doors to Xanxus growling and screaming about how he would murder the whole Varia to the bathroom where he could clean up all the crap the trashes threw on him. Half an hour later Bel, Fran and Squalo were all the mansions very own garage, Bel smirked his creepy cynical smile holding back his 'Ushishishishi's' because Froggy had told him that the commander would probably explode if he was angered even more. Bel never usually listened to his Froggy as he was a prince and did whatever he liked but Fran said he'd let him murder the hostages on the next mission instead of stopping him as Fran usually did. So just this once the prince listened. "VOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIII GET IN TRASH WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY!" The pink haired commander yelled at Fran and Bel from the driver's seat of his Ferrari. So the two assassins got in forgetting about the most important thing about letting Squalo drive. Road rage. Squalo was known far and wide for his road rage and most who drove with him end up dead. He'd nearly been banned every time he got behind the wheel and the only reason I say nearly is because he decapitated the officer as soon as he was told his driving was shit. He was in complete and utter denial about his driving. When Fran first came to the Varia he learnt every possible swear word and hand gesture there was from a 5 minute trip to Wal-Mart with Squalo. He's still traumatised from that one trip he didn't want to suffer an ever longer one. Please have no traffic! Fran begged and both him and Bel gipped their seats and tried to stop their screams as the maniac drove. Someone really hated Fran upstairs because just two minutes into the journey when they ended up stuck in the biggest traffic jam Fran had seen in years. Oh no. he thought seconds before Squalo screamed "VVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WHAT THE FUCK! MOVE YOU BASTARDS SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GET THE GOD DAMN SHOP!" His speech followed by lots of slamming of the cars horn. Fran felt that he would go deaf if Squalo managed to increase the volume, which knowing him was entirely possible. Belphegor, being the genius he was, put the ear plugs he had in his pants pocket into his ear and offered the spare pair to Froggy who looked like he was about to explode. Fran had never loved his sempai as much as he did in that very second. Both of the boy's bodies relaxed again the soft leather seat happy that the screams of their damn commander were muffled. Apparently they weren't the only ones being affected by the noise because someone got out of their car roughly 3 places in front of where Squalo's car was and marched down and yelled at Squalo for the noise. Bel and Fran couldn't hear him through the ear plugs as he didn't shout nearly as loud as the assassin in the front seat. This only pissed Squalo off even further, as he felt some more of his precious hair fall out form all the stress of today and with that he exploded. "VVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIII! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU'RE SPEAKING TO BASTARD I'LL CUT YOU UP!" Belphegor and his Froggy heard this scream loud and clear thankfully neither of their ears bled from the sheer volume. However, the poor stranger didn't have ear plugs and fell to the floor screaming as his ears bled. Bel loved blood more than anything else in the world, well maybe he loved Froggy a tincey wincey bit more but that was beside the point, so he watched happily as the man bled on the floor. He was especially interested when Squalo slashed his chest and the thick substance oozed out the torn skin. Fran rolled his eyes at his easily excited fake-prince, he needed counselling or therapy sessions for his problem at the very least, and it made Fran a bit uncomfortable. His sempai liked blood a bit too much. Squalo now just wanted to get to the supermarket and back as soon as possible so his did the only thing he believed was rational. So he stepped out the car and stood in front of it and then made one clean precise cut down and cut all the cars in his way. People were terrified of the crazy loudmouth now and just stared at him in complete and utter shock from their cars. What the fuck is he? Most people asked not believing their eyes. Squalo then casually walked into the car and sat in the driver's seat, he then sped off seconds later. Once he got passed all the cars in the traffic jam he then swerved from lane to lane narrowly avoiding cars as he drove. In the back two seat Fran clung to Bel for dear life and even the prince was terrified for his life as he held onto the Froggy not that he would admit it as he was far too prideful. After what felt like hours of screaming and near death experiences they finally arrived at the shop. 'NEVER AGAIN!' Was the only thing Fran thought as he wobbled out the car trying to not throw up. Bel helped support his Froggy as they entered the supermarket following Squalo who was pushing the shopping trolley. Shoichi Irie's POV Shoichi wasn't having the best of days, but let's face it he never was. His stomach had particularly hurt today due to a visit from Tsuna and all his guardians. In the space of their hour long visit Gokudera had destroyed his kitchen with dynamite, he had multiple holes through his walls where Yamamato had decided to play baseball with the kids. Ryohei had forced him to join the boxing club 'to the EXTREME!' and had punched more holes through his walls. Man why was the mafia such a pain. At least Tsuna felt really bad for all the damage caused by his sub coordinates. Ryohei offered to fix his whole house to the Extreme but last time he agreed to that he had no house what so ever as the boxer had turned it to dust with his EXTEME punches, so Shoichi turned down his offer which was really hard because Ryohei did not understand the word no. So now that they had all left he headed to the store in his car. Shoichi honestly couldn't imagine how his day could get worse but he was about to see. He got stuck in traffic on the way to the supermarket; he could hear the sound of a VERY VERY VERY loud man behind him yelling out a string of curse words. To stop the agonising sound he stuck in his head phones and looked in the review mirror only to see the man in the car behind him, scream at another man waving around his arm which had a sword on it. Shoichi's stomach began to clench in fear of the terrifying man behind him, apparently his fear instincts were very good because not a second later the man that approached the guy in the Ferrari behind him ended on the floor, his ear beading and a big slash on his chest which oozed with blood. Great! Now Shoichi was going to have to go back to therapy after just having left it. His therapist had tried to stick him in an asylum when he spoke about the Vongola mafia family, she said he was delusional and made him take 10 pills a day. He would've thrown up if the long pink haired man had not cut his car all the other's ahead in half and drove past them like the wind; he just stared at them in horror. What was wrong with the world first the Vongola guardians, then the goddamn paedophile pineapple and the marshmallow pervert. Where were they coming from? Was it an asylum? Shoichi didn't have the slightest clue he just hoped he could avoid them at all costs. Sighing he got out of his car and began to walk the rest of the way seeing as his car was completely useless now. Back to the Varia 'Ushishishishi, the prince want to get some strawberry's' Bel announced/ demanded to Squalo. The commander just sighed knowing it would shut the damn trash up if they got them. Turning the cart around the three boys headed for the fruit section. Apparently Strawberries were quite popular as there was only one carton left so Bel grabbed it but at the same time so did someone else. Bel turned his head to the person that dared to touch the princes' strawberries only to see Mukuro, the pineapple paedophile otherwise known as Fran's illusion master. "Kufufufufufu" Mukuro laughed "it seems I have a stupid prince on my strawberries". "Ushishishishi, I think you'll find there's a baka pineapple on the end of the Princes Strawberries! Hand them over" Bel laughed as he pulled out three of his odd looking knifes. "Pineapple head give Bel-senpai his strawberries" Fran said in his normal monotone voice staring blankly at his master. "Kufufufufufu, oya, is that anyway to speak to your master little one" Mukuro smirked darkly "Shut up pineapple pervert, shouldn't you be buying pineapples or are you cheating on them master" Fran replied his voice the same as before. Fran could see the anger build up in his master and he enjoyed every bit of it. "Oya little one I've told you a million times that I am not a pervert and I am not cheating on Pineapples" With that said Mukuro stabbed his trident through Fran's hat making 2 holes in it. "Master you are a pervert look you call me little one, face the facts. You're even perverted to poor innocent Chrome you even made her have the same perverted pineapple haircut, that's just cruel. You even possessed her which means you practically raped her' Mukuro was extremely angered at the mention of his dear Chrome "Kufufufufufu, I am not a pervert for the last time and I would never do such a thing to Chrome I would never rape her!" Fran now had 9 holes in his frog hat; Sempai was going to be mad. Just then Chrome appeared, her owl on her shoulder carrying a shopping basket full of snacks. "Mukuro-sama, I got the stuff you asked for" Mukuro smiled sweetly at his Chrome and thanked, he then took her distraction as his advantage and stole the strawberries before disappearing into thin air with Chrome. Shoichi's POV After arriving at the store he went straight to the fruit section looking for some nice strawberries, sadly when he got there all he saw was the pineapple hair guy fighting with the 3 people that were in the car behind him. His stomach pains were back again and so he fell on the floor clutching his stomach. No one seemed to notice him as usual as he stared at the scene. Whilst the teal haired boy teased the pineapple guy (Shoichi thought his name was Mukuro) he saw the Vongola's mist guardian Chrome approach the group, Personally, Shoichi liked Chrome she was a sweet shy girl who didn't cause him any stress or stomach-aches like Tsuna. Why would a sweet girl like that hang out with such scary odd people? He thought staring at the scene. Suddenly, Mukuro and Chrome disappeared with the Strawberries they were apparently fighting over. Shoichi blinked for a second freaking out until he remembered it was a mist illusion. He always forgot that when scary things like this happened. The boy with teal hair turned to the other boy who had blonde wavy hair covering his eyes and a tiara on the right side of his head, the kid then turned the orange he had in his hand into strawberries as he spoke "I stole them whilst Mukuro was distracted, he'll notice his are fake soon so we better hurry Bel-Sempai" so the blondes name was Bel. Bel began to laugh his creepy cynical laugh 'Ushishishishi, thanks Froggy' it made Shoichi's stomach hurt more, he decided that it was best if he avoided the fruit isle for now. So he headed over to where the wines were hoping find a decent one for his mum's upcoming birthday or for him to at least forget this crazy world for a while. Turns out he couldn't have a moment of piece as he then bumped into Byakuran A.K.A Creepy Marshmallow pervert. Behind him were 3 shopping carts full of his Marshmallow's, probably the whole stores supply knowing him. "Sho-Chan!" He greeted happily smiling his pure yet dark smile. "B-B-Byakuran!" Shoichi exclaimed completely terrified, this was the man that almost destroyed the world and loved Marshmallow's far too much. Shoichi had even sent him to an Asylum but he apparently murdered everyone when he was told Marshmallows were not allowed. This man was insane and thought that they were best friends. Before any more words could be exchanged the loud voice of the scary pink haired man approached the isle. "VVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIII! WHERE'S THAT DAMN WINE!" The Bel guy followed behind happily holding his Strawberries in one hand and the teal haired boys hand with his other. Apparently someone had it out for Shoichi. The Pink haired guy approached Shoichi and Byakuran looking pissed, this cause Shoichi to gulp in fear, today must be the day he died he thought sadly regretting that he never managed to get further on that video game with Spanner. He was going to miss Spanner when he was gone. "VVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII BRAT GIVE ME THAT WINE XANXUS NEEDS IT!" He yelled (well it was taking for Squalo) Byakuran just smiled at him "No it's mine, I'm going to down all my Marshmallows in it!" at his reply Shoichi just sweat dropped 'how can he be so fearless in front of that pink haired guy?' "VVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! YOU WANNA FIGHT THE SECOND SWORD EMPROR BASTARD!" Squalo replied raising his voice a little more than before. Byakuran just laughed and brought out his wings further, "Okay Squ-Chan" 'now he's starting to sound like fucking Lussuria' Squalo thought and rolled his eyes. Due to Byakuran ruling all the parallel words he had become overconfident in battles and assumed he could take everyone, usually this was the case as Byakuran was very powerful. However he'd never fought with an elite assassin and sword emperor like Squalo so Byakuran lost the fight. Even though he lost he still kept his smile as he said 'That was fun Squ-Chan! We should do it again sometime!" Shoichi just stared in complete shock slipping away whilst the fight was on going. Bel threw his knifes and pinned Byakuran down by his wings, shoichi noticed and he turned the corner quickly. When he was across the other side of the store he let out a sigh of relief and decided that he deserved chocolate pudding for his hard day. Much like the rest of the store they were low on stock so he managed to get the last 12 packet of chocolate puddings. Maybe his day would go better? This wasn't the case as the next thing Shoichi knew, he was on the floor being pinned by the teal haired boy that Bel called Froggy. The boy snatched the puddings out of his hand and growled "My pudding!" and held them possessively. Shoichi nearly died there on the sport from a heart attack and sheer fear of the Frog. "I-I-I'm sorry I didn't know! H-have them!" he stuttered hoping to avoid all violence. The boy stared at him overjoyed and hugged him "Thank you random ginger haired kid!" Did this kid have bipolar or something? He wasn't quite sure. "VVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! FRAN GET OFF THAT FUCKING KID WE'RE GOING TO PAY!" And with that the boy jumped up and the 3 men left to the checkout, phew no more crazy people! Back to the Varia After they paid and loaded the shopping in the car two very pissed off men came out running at them, Mukuro and Byakuran, "Kufufufufufu, I see you're illusions are getting stronger but I still must punish you for taking my Strawberries" "Hey let's go another round, ne?" Just then both Mukuro and Byakuran turned to each other in sync and said "I was here first!" Mukuro and Byakuran then smiled at each other almost daring the other to speak first. "Hehe I see the pineapple pervert want to kill them too!" "Kufufufufufu and I see the Marshmallow freak wants to same thing also!" Bel, Fran and Squalo completely ignored the squabbling angry people and left without being noticed whilst the greatest war of all time went on in the supermarket car park; the great battle of the Marshmallows and the Pineapples!" Fran left an illusion of himself and began to narrate his story of the great battle. 'Once not too long ago there was a great war; one in which many innocent marshmallows and pineapples lost their lives. The battle was led by two evil perverts each with their own weird fetish, the leader of the Pineapples was called Mukuro he had a very awesome apprentice called Fran who was the best thing ever and the leader of the Marshmallows was called Byakuran a man with wings who looked as pure as an Angel. The war went on for many hours until one became victorious. When the battle ended both leaders looked at all of their fallen soldiers it was now only them, however, very unexpectedly it was neither of them that won the war. The winner was in fact the awesome Frog named Fran…" The illusion was annoying Mukuro and Byakuran to no end so they stabbed it and watched as it died, thank god! They both thought. Just then the two leaders decided they would team up and get revenge on those three brats and with that they went to a café and plotted their revenge. Shoichi's POV *Weeks later* Shoichi was still recovering from his shopping trip, he still had nightmares but he was almost over the trauma. Just then he got a phone call from Tsuna "Shoichi-kun, I need to ask you a favour" he heard the voice of the serious Vongola boss over the phone "O-Okay Tsuna-kun!" "I need you to go to the mansion in the forest about a mile from where you live and fix their computer systems" "Sure thing Tsuna I'll head over now!" "Arigatou Shoichi-kun!" "It's fine" Shoichi said and headed out to where Tsuna asked him to go *at the mansion* Shoichi knocked a little nervous as to who would answer. He was surprised to see a very happy looking man with half his hair blonde and the other half green and falling over his face. The man also had an orange Mohawk in the middle, what a strange guy and he just screamed gay. "Well aren't you a cutie! I'm Lussuria!" He sung hugging Shoichi, I think I may have to press sexual harassment charges by the end of the day, he sighed in his head. "I-I'm Shoichi Irie" he stuttered "Awwwww he's shy" Lussuria cooed "You must be here to fix the computers I'll show you the way!" Shoichi then followed the flamboyant man keeping a bit of distance because he didn't think molesting would be underneath this insane man. "Here you are! I'll go make you a snack!" and with that he left. Shoichi was very relieved at this and smiled getting on to work, he'd almost done all his work when he heard two people run into the room and a shark pain in his arm. Shoichi cried out in pain as his arm bled from the oddly shaped knife, suddenly he recognised it and his blood went cold, no! please god no! When he turned around he saw Bel and the teal haired kid, "Ushishishishi the prince has a new target!" Bel said getting more knifes out of his pocket. He'd never been so happy to see the loud mouth ever. The said man came in waving his sword around like a maniac. "VVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIII! BRAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Shoichi never thought anyone could top these guys in their scariness, it turns out he was wrong again and a very mad looking guy came in a threw a wine bottle and the loudmouth "Keep your voice down Trash!" "VVVVVVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIII! YOU BASTARD!" the loudmouth yelled but he was ignored. "Hey, scum what are you doing in my mansion?" Shoichi would give anything to go to hell right now as it seemed much more appealing that his current position. Instead of answering he just jumped out the window screaming all the way home until he locked himself in his bedroom and didn't come out for a whole year, the only reason he survived was because Spanner kept dropping off food. Shoichi swore he'd never be anything to do with the Vongola again. Back at the mansion "Shoichi I finished your cookies!" Lussuria sang as he entered the room but to his surprise he saw a broken window, all his assassination group(minus Levi) and no Shoichi. Quickly he put 2 and 2 together and told off the others "I told you to stop scaring all the new guys!" "We were saving him from being molested by you, Ushishishishi" Bel replied walking out the door with Fran. "Whatever gay Trash" Xanxus said taking the plate of cookies as he left with his right hand and dragged Squalo out using his left hand. Lussuria just sighed knowing none of them would ever change as he went to make dinner.