Author's note: so I got to thinking of how Sasuke's father was distant and aloof, and I started to think that Kimimaro would probably be the same way. This came from that. Was going to post this as a separate oneshot, but it makes more sense to be posted here.
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The canyon of the founders faces west, catching the light as the sun sets and casting shadows along the village at its periphery. Sometimes, Sayaka and her mother will walk along the forest's edge, tracking a deer or a rabbit or some other small animal, so that her earliest memories are of the green foliage or how the sunlight dapples the ground.
"This is how you track," her mama says, and Sayaka watches, wide-eyed and breathless, as her mama circles the rabbit and corners it, reaching one hand out to stroke its fur.
xXx
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"Sayaka, how was your day?" Her mama is smiling. She spoons out rice and meat and Sayaka pushes around her vegetables, chewing slowly.
"Iruka-sensei taught us hand signs," Sayaka says. She chews. "Tomorrow we'll make clones."
"Good," her mama says, and she smiles wide. "When your papa comes home, you'll have to show him."
"Papa?"
Her mama smiles. "He's been gone a long time, but he'll be glad to see us."
"Oh."
Sayaka stares at her bowl. Steam rises from the rice. She plays with her chopsticks, nervously.
Her mama's smile thins. "Sayaka? Won't you be glad to see your papa?"
The meat is cut up in big chunks. The vegetables are soggy. "Sayaka?"
"Mm," Sayaka says, and she shovels another bite of food in her mouth.
xXx
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Her papa comes home later that night.
It's dark in the house, but her mama's lit a candle in the living room when her papa finally comes home. Shadows and orange light bounce off the tatami mats and the rice paper screen, and Sayaka crouches in the darkness, holding her breath and watching as her papa slowly enters the room.
He's covered in shadows; candlelight backlights his face but otherwise everything is dark. He had been gone for almost a month.
"Sayaka," her papa says, and Sayaka jumps. He turns, green eyes staring straight at her. "Will you not say hello?"
"H-hello. Papa," Sayaka says. It's all she can manage. He straightens and reaches a hand. Sayaka winces. His mouth presses into a thin line.
xXx
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She never sees her papa. What she does see of him is terrifying: long white hair and the face of a ghost, the other shinobi men whispering furtively and giving him a wide berth. She is young, but even she understands that her papa is terrifying to them. He gives no warmth to her or her mama, who sits and waits for him as he goes out on his missions.
"Your papa is just quiet," her mama says. She plaits Sayaka's hair, strong hands holding the brush. "He doesn't mean to be. He seems scary but he's really just shy."
"Mama," Sayaka says, because her mama's using that same tone she uses when she's telling silly tales. Her papa is not someone shy.
"You hurt his feelings, you know," her mama says. She feels her mama tugging her hair into braids, working deftly like she would with her snakes or her potions. "Your papa loves you. He's just not very good at showing it."
"Papa doesn't like me," Sayaka says. Her mama stops.
"What?" her mama says. "Sayaka, that's not true."
"It is," Sayaka says. "He's never home, and when he's here, he stays in his room."
Her mama says nothing. She feels her finish the braid, tying the knot and rising.
"Sayaka," her mama says. "Sometimes when you've been lonely for a long time, it's hard to reach out to others. Even if they're your flesh and blood. I'll talk to him when he gets home. I promise."
"Mama," Sayaka says, but her mother smiles.
"Good girl," her mama says, and she ruffles her hair.
xXx
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Dinner again, except this time her papa is at the head of the table. "What did you learn today, Sayaka?" her mama asks, and Sayaka glances at her papa, who is watching her, silently.
"Clones," Sayaka says. She watches her mama glance at her papa, as if to silently prod him. "They also taught us hand seals."
"Have you trained?" her papa says. Sayaka sees her mama throw him a sharp glance, but he stares straight at her, anyway. "Have you worked on your exercises, like I've shown you?"
"No," Sayaka says. Her voice comes out very small.
"Why?" her papa says. Sayaka jumps.
"Because...because we're learning hand seals, and I need to learn the Kage Bunshin, and-"
Her father gives her a withering stare.
There is a long silence. Sayaka pushes the food around her plate. Her mama huffs and rolls her eyes.
"Anata, you're scaring her. Why don't you say something?"
"There is nothing to say," her papa says. "That fool of a teacher is teaching her parlor tricks, and you wish for me to make polite conversation?"
Sayaka stares at her hands.
"Mama taught me how to track," Sayaka says. Her papa says nothing. Her mama is staring daggers at him. Sayaka is scared.
"Finish your dinner," her mama says. Sayaka does, eating quickly and escaping to her room.
xXx
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That night, she hears them fighting. The sounds are muffled but she can just make out the words.
"You're too hard on her," her mama is saying.
Sayaka focuses on the noises, the sound of the crickets and the other night noises outside her room. "It hasn't happened," her mama was saying. "Whatever happened to you won't happen to her. She's fine. She's just a normal, happy kid."
"Normal," her papa says. Through the walls, Sayaka can almost picture the disgust on his face. "I too was normal before it manifested itself. She needs to learn to be in control. Otherwise-"
"Otherwise what? She'll gore her classmates to death? Are you serious?"
"She has to learn," her papa says. She hears her mama pacing. "Even if she hates me she has to learn."
Sayaka squeezes her eyes.
xXx
.
The kids in her class say her papa is evil. "He grows horns like the devil, that's what my daddy said!"
"He's from a cursed clan. That's why he's got those marks-it's from his enemies' blood."
The whispers. Rumors. Sayaka is used to them all, but one day she finds the kids huddled together, looking at Sayaka with hushed fear.
"I heard he raped your mama," one kid says. Sayaka's eyes widen.
"Who said that?" her mama says, and for the first time Sayaka sees her mama rage. "Where the hell is Iruka? I need to talk to him-"
"Mama, don't," Sayaka says, but her mother brushes her off, storming into the classroom and throwing open the door.
Sayaka sits miserably in the hallway, hands over her ears as her mother proceeds to threaten her teacher's livelihood, before storming out and grabbing Sayaka by the arm.
"C'mon," her mama says, and she pulls her back outside.
xXx
.
"Is it true?" Sayaka asks.
"Is what true?" Her mama is tracking. There is a deer just ahead of them. Sayaka frowns.
"That papa kidnapped you."
Her mama lets out a breath-something between exasperation and fatigue. She lowers her stance, letting the deer leap into the brush as she does. "Your papa was a prisoner before," her mama says, finally. "His group kidnapped one of our genin. I used him to track their camp."
"So he didn't kidnap you?"
"No," her mama says. Sayaka sags with relief. Her mama pulls out her pack, slowly unwrapping a package of crackers. "This village is not very tolerant to outsiders," her mama says. "Even heroes who save them, they don't like anyone who's different. And your papa is very different."
She hands Sayaka a cracker, chewing thoughtfully.
"Am I going to be like him?" Sayaka asks, finally. "Like papa?" Her mama looks at her for a long moment, then ruffles her hair.
"If you are, then you'll be very lucky," her mama says. She pulls Sayaka into her lap, pressing a kiss to her hair. "Your papa is very strong. He has a special ability no one else has. He's just afraid for you, is all."
"Will I have it, too?"
"I don't know," her mama says.
The sun sets. They sit for a moment, before standing and heading back to the house.