SCREAMING BOOKS?
The next day when Harry woke he could hear a soft humming coming from his right and constant squeaking of a bed. He tried to rollover and cover his head with a pillow but the insistent squeaking of the bed just kept getting louder and louder. He opens one eye and glared at his sister that was jumping on her bed humming some random tune.
"Lizzy, do you have to wake up at an ungodly hour and wake everybody else as well?" Harry asks. She looks over with wide eyes continuing to jump on the bed.
"Of course dear brother! For I have a great plan of trouble that I am bring you into!" Alizabith said excitedly. Harry raises his eyebrows while he raises his body up on his elbows prompting for her to explain this great plan.
"you are going to go keep Snapers occupied while I go do some practical homework on some lovely books in someones grand office."Alizabith says while jumping off her bed and sliding to the door in her socks.
"And if I don't keep Snape occupied?" Harry asks while slowly getting out of his bed. Alizabith turns around frowning at him.
"I don't know I might just decide to poke you in the eye with a big fat rusty needle for not occupying Snapie." Alizabith states. She walks out of the room and down the hall to do her lovely plan while Harry is left to go find Snape.
He walks out of the room and looks around at all the other doors looking to see if he could find Snape easier by a light under the door for it was still quite early for the sun had not risen all the way. But alas none of the doors on this floor had any light under them. So he started opening doors at random. In one room there was just empty boxes stacked all around the floor, and the floor not occupied by boxes were an inch worth of dust. The door to the left of the box and dust room was a closet full of towels and towelettes. The door to left of that held big bed, with the blankets and quilts that were black. two dark tables on ether side of the bed one held a lamp while the other held a blood red book. "Well guess that answers if he sleeps in a coffin or not." Harry thought to himself. A wardrobe stood off to the side and next to the wardrobe stood a door with a light under it. he walks up to the door and puts his ear to the door. He could hear someone or something moving around in there so he slowly opens the in peaks in side. Their was Snape leaning over the sink, a towel rapped around his slim waste. In a brush in his right hand.
"GOOD MORNING PROFESSOR SNAPE!" Harry practically screams. Snape eyes widen and he whirls around giving a glare that meant you are so dead, but harry ignores the glare and goes on talking like it was an everyday thing walking in on his professor while said professor is half-naked. "how are you this fine morning I have great news to tell you the deadly morning snatchers is defeated so the sun will come up today without any worries." he states nodding his head vigorously.
"Potter what the bloody hell are you doing in here, GET OUT." Snape growls at him.
Harry covered his ears "Oh my virgin ears, I never heard such bad curse words in my whole entire life." Harry wailed. "And to think my professor is teaching me such language. We came here to learn the subtle art of speaking and here is my professor teaching such horrid words! What will Dumbledore say when he hears this cause im sooooo telling on you."
Snape sighs and asks in an exasperated tone. "What are you doing in here Potter."
Harry looks over at Snape with a haunted look in his eye. "I'm not Potter. I'm your nurse at the mental ward because you went crazy after you murdered your foreshore plant, and this is just an your imagination." Harry tells him. "And I was wondering if you know how to make a torture wheel." he shrugs at the end.
"A torture wheel for what." Snape asks while raising his eyebrows. Harry takes a big mouth full of air. "never mind just get..."
"Wait I can explain. I need this torture wheel so I can put a flying hippo on it to get its golden treasure for only the flying hippo knows where the golden treasure is." harry interrupts him while Snape glares at him.
"What golden treasure are you speaking of Potter?" Snape asks he looked very intrigued.
"The golden treasure of madam Boom-Boom. Didn't you know professor I thought everyone knew that." he asked frowning.
"JUST GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT." Snape yelled at him spittle flying at Harry's face.
Harry wipes the spit with his sleeve while saying. "Fine I'll leave. But you should know professor that you should say it not spray it." Then he calmly walked out of the room. He hears the door slam behind him and he smirks. "now to go find Lizzy and see if she's done her part." he thought to himself. He walks down the stairs to the very angry mans study to find his sister holding a crying book to put it back on the shelf. "All done Lizzy?" He asks her while looking around to see if there is anything for him to do.
"Yeah just finished actually. We should leave before he gets here, I do not want to be on the reviving end of one of his lectures." Alizabith states while walking out of the room. They both enter the kitchen and look around for something to make for breakfast. Once everything was found to make breakfast they start making omelets. With The food done and the table set Alizabith and Harry both sit down serving themselves some food. "Sooooo Harry whats was Snape doing this morning." she asks after awhile of silence
"Oh you know brushing his hair." Harry answered. She started to giggle and soon Harry joined into laughter as well they were so into their own world they did notice the professor enter the kitchen and sit at the head of the table sneering at them.
"And pray tell what is so halerious." Snape asks silkily. Both Harry and Alizabith eyes open wide and they start laughing even more almost falling out their chairs for laughing so hard.
"oh y-you know profess-professor the cape of giggling men have come to slay us for telling them that their coats look girly." Alizabith tells him while giggling and falling out of her chair.
Snape glares at her "Potter get off the floor and sit like a young lady this instant." he growls.
She gets up off the floor and slowly turns her head toward him and speaks in a spooky voice. "professor how do you know that I am a young lady. What if I am a young man in disguise looking for the legendary bouncy ball that cures all grumpy pants so that, I can wear my favorite pants any day of the week without it snapping at me and telling me that they just got out of the wash and would like a relaxing day without being stuffed with body parts." Snape glowers at her turns to serve him self, ignoring that she had said anything.
The breakfast goes on in an awkward silence, and soon Harry gets fed up with silence and asks "Snape what's we's doing today are we going to explode cauldrons. Or are we going to go to your office and learn nothing while you give us more books that we both know that Alizabith and I are not going to read them, and then your going to be mad at us for not doing what you want us to do." Snape looks up at him and glares a glare so powerful that if glares could kill people Harry would be six feet under already for disrupting the quietness.
"we are not doing anything. Now you two are going to go read the books I gave you yesterday until lunch. Then you Potter are going to eat. Then go do your summer homework that I know you have not even started." Snape answers him in a monotone.
"But fessor are you sure you really want that? I don't think the flying grandfather clocks will like that." Alizabith states while looking around fearfully.
"And why would I care about that?" Snape asks raising one eyebrow.
"Well professor the grandfather clocks are at war right now with the alarm clocks and they do not like children studying because it's against the alarm clocks religion to eat my homework while the grandfather clock has no problem eating it. but it's against the grandfather clocks religion to eat my books but not the alarm clocks." Alizabith states while taking another bite.
Snape rolled his eyes "Well you are going to do it any ways, and no more excuses." he tells them.
"But fessor you asked. If you did not want the answer you should not have asked." Alizabith tells him "oh I had a wired dream last night and you were in it. Do you want to hear it?" she asks changing the subject.
"NO." both Harry and Snape say together.
"Awwwwww you guys suck troll buts!" she tells them while shaking her head. "Well im going to tell you anyways so there. Anyways in my dream we were at this very table doing homework, and the wired part you were smiling Snape." She looks over at them and see's them both looking at her. Harry with his mouth open, and Snape with his hand holding his head, looking incredibly bored. "Then all of a sodden you stood out of your chair, your close changed from your usual black clothing to this pink frilly pink dress. Dancing the hookey pokey and trying to get us to join In that horrid dance. Then harry gets up and challenges you to a dance off. then the room changed suddenly we were in this big pool without any water in it. Harry starts doing a random impression of a fish swimming in water while you were doing the sprinkler." She gets and starts doing the impressions. "then I drop to the ground and started doing the worm and apparently I was so good at doing the worm I won. then I woke up." Alizabith tells them while getting up off the floor looking at them as if saying well.
"well as pleasant as it would be to hear you keep talking I would recommend you both go get started on the books I gave you yesterday." Snape tells them slowly as if talking to a bunch of small children.
They both get up and walk to their room "Hey, Lizzy do you think he will go to his study any time soon cause I would really like to know what you did." Harry asks when they were out of earshot of the professor.
"more than likely but we really should get to reading the books so we can hear them." Alizabith says mysteriously. An hour and a half goes by in complete silence before anything happened. A loud wailing noise coming from down stairs making Harry jump and Alizabith smirk. Both Harry and Alizabith jump off their beds and run towards the noise which was coming from Snape's study. In the study Snape stood there with a confused look on his face while holding a wailing and bleeding book while a small puddle of something that looked like blood surrounding his feet.
Alizabith rushes at him, and takes the book out of his out stretched hands. She closes the book, and starts talking to it. "Shh's its alright mama is here she wont let that mean old man break you open again." while rocking the book back and forth. Blood that was pouring out of the book and on the floor magically disappeared like it was not even there. The loud wailing changed to a low giggling.
"POTTER, what did you do to my book?" Snape shouts at her with his arms crossed over his chest.
"I did nothing! I just found that your porno books were having a baby, and I was there helping with the delivery of their beautiful baby boy book." She glares at him.
"And why were my books in labor." Snape glowers at her raising an eyebrow amusement in his eyes.
She looks over at him while raising her eyebrows. "Well, when a daddy book and a mommy book really love each other they... um you know they kind of collide with each other, than BAM the mommy book is pregnant sir." she tells him, looking really uncomfortable.
"What the hell did you really do to my books and Do. Not. Lie. To. Me." He says in a low threatening voice. Both Harry and Alizabith wince.
"Well professor you always said that if we put our minds to something that we could get in big trouble, and I always wanted to see if that really would happen. so my plan of attack today is to see how much trouble I can get into before you decide enough is enough, and just string me up by my pinkie toes, put duck tape on my mouth just so you have peace and quiet." Harry tells him in a philosophical voice. When Harry looks around he could not see his sister or the book. He looks back at Snape and the professor was looking beyond angry. The professor looked like he could spit fire right about now. "Well as lovely as it is to stay in here. I have um some reading to do." Harry says while slowly backing out of the room.
"Oh no you don't Potter." Snape says while grabbing the back of Harry's t-shirt. "you are not getting away that easily you and your sister are going to my lab, and are going to do whatever I put you to. Now where is your trouble making sister?" Snape asks while looking around.
"she might have left while I decided that you were most likely going to murder us." Harry tells him while looking sheepish.
"And how would she hear that you decided your murder?" Snape asks with an evil smirk on his face.
"well you see sir. Lizzy can hear my thoughts when she's not blocking me out of her crazed mind. Shes very wired in that aspect. You should hear some of her thoughts, she can be just as sarcastic as you at times." Harry tells him while praying to what ever god would help him get out of his enraged professors grasp. "sir do you think if I learned occlumency that I would not be able to hear her thoughts any more cause that would have many cons then pros in this situation?" Harry asks while looking at Snape.
Snape raises his eyebrow. "And why would learning occlumency have abundance of cons?" He asks.
"First I wouldn't be able to hear her thoughts any more which I been able to do sense I could remember and I think I would go bonkers without her constant thought process. Second I would get lonely in side my head." Harry tells him while wondering if they were going to leave the study any time soon.
"Potter as much as I want to listen to preposterous tales." Snape smirks at him. "It would be wise for you to follow me so you can get to work on your detention." he moves past Harry his robes billowing behind him.
Harry glares at his back. "But sir..."
Snape whirls around and glares at Harry. "Potter im through listening with you prattle on telling irrational story's. Now get moving." Snape snaps at him. Harry drops his shoulders in defeat, and slowly follows the professor to the living room. There the professor leads him to a door behind a bookcase that when opened it had narrow, rickety stairs leading down to a cellar of sorts. The walk down the stairs proved challenging for the stairs were so old, and rotted that a wrong placed step and you would fall straight through. When Harry and the professor made it to the bottom of the stairs there was another door. Snape starts going through his pockets to get a silver key for the silver lock. Once the door was unlocked the roomed showed to be a small personal potion lab. Potion ingredients were on shelves. To the right a small sink with many dirty cauldrons are haphazardly. Next to the sink was a door leading to a small room with a toilet. On the wall in front of them were five cauldrons all softly simmering.
"Now Potter I want you to wash the cauldrons in the sink the muggle way." He points to the sink "Do you understand the directions im giving you" Snape glower's at him
"Of course sir." Harry answers while walking to the sink. Snape sweeps out of the room to go to find Alizabith where ever she ran off to. A few minuets go by and harry hears stomping and a somewhat high voice arguing about something or other. The door burst open and Snape walks in with a deep glower on his face.
"but sir I just had to put the sir Charles to sleep he was getting very cranky after you ripped him open like that." Alizabith states with her eyes as round as saucers. Alizabith looks over at Harry and winks. "you can't expect a new-born not to take naps all baby's take naps." Alizabith tilts her head to the side thinking. "I think you might need a nap because your glower has yet to come off your stoney face this morning." Alizabith goes on.
"Potter shut your trap and get to work cleaning the cauldrons with Mr. potter." Snape snaps at her rubbing the bridge of his nose. Alizabith pouts and walks over to the sink to start drying the cauldron Harry just finished washing.
"Sir do you gotsta headache, if so I know how you get rid of it." Alizabith tells him while looking over her shoulder, putting the now dry cauldron on a rack. Harry looks to her and raises his eyebrow.
"Potter why can't you just be quite and do what I ask of you." Snape asked looking exasperated.
"I am doing what you ask to do just not all of it, because if I was doing all of it I would not be talking and asking you questions I would most likely be asking harry questions like why aren't you going faster. I don't plan to be washing cauldrons all day but I'm not." Alizabith tells him rolling her eyes. Snape glares at her and walks out of the lab to get some quite.
"Lizzy do you have to make him even more angrier?" Harry asked her when her heard the door slam.
"of course I don' have to but I do it to keep him on his toes." she looks over at him deep in thought. "and I am getting back at him for giving me all that crap while at school if he wants trouble making brats who only gets by fame alone. He'll get it. It's not my fault people only see what they want. I'm just helping concrete their beliefs. in this aspect I'm helping Snape's belief on this." Alizabith tells him while shaking her head.
"I don't think it's such a good Idea by doing that Lizzy." harry looks over at her with a frown.
"It does not matter if it is a good idea or not it help's protect us in the long run." Alizabith tells him. Harry nods his head and went to finish the cauldron's. Soon all the cauldron's were finished and put away.
"Hey Harry do you know where a broom and dust pan is?" she asks him while looking around.
"I think I seen one in that room over there why what are you planning to do now." Harry tells her while giving her a stern look.
"I'm not going do anything just sweep the floor and give it a good mop job. I thought it could be a peace-offering gift for now if we cleaned the lab." Alizabith tells him shrugging her shoulders while getting the broom and dust pan.
"well that's nice of you but why the sudden gesture?" Harry asks while raising his eyebrows. She shrugs her shoulders again and starts sweep the floor while giving Harry the dust pan. When Snape walks back in a few hours later to bring them to the table for lunch the first thing he saw was Alizabith and Harry sitting on the floor surrounded by cleaning supplies and a few clothes. He looks around and notices that the floor was swept and mopped. The walls washed, shelves dusted, and vials cleaned. He looks at the Potters with a frown on his face.
"what are you doing on the floor Mr. and Ms. Potter?" He asks with an inquisitive look on his face.
"Well you see sir we just had to fight dust bunnies and grime workers because they just did not want to leave." Alizabith tells him.
"And the dirt men were on their side but we held them off as long as we could before they over powered us and tied us up. Me and Lizzy just finished getting out of the ropes when you walked in. but the funny thing about that is now the ropes disappeared." Harry tells him. Snape raises his eyebrow and motioned with his hand to go on.
"It all started when we were finished washing the cauldron's. We heard a small yell saying attack so pulled out are trusty clothes, and looked around. We didn't see anything at eye level so looked up and saw dusty bunnies jumping off the shelves. so we had to battle them with our great old cleaning supplies. When we got up there they were on the vials as well so we had to fight on their grounds" Alizabith obliged him. Snape was smirking with an amused look in his eye.
"Soon the fight on the dust bunnies were over, but then the grime workers on the walls got into the fight so we had to get new cloths and bring more cleaning supplies into this fight. The fight was fought long and hard but we won in the end." Harry tells him.
"Once that was done the dirt men had started beating us up so we go get the magical broom of destiny and the oh powerful dustpan of doom to sweep up the dirt men but it was not enough so we had to bring the mop of all things clean and pure to finish the long war. We finished but not before they tied us up." Alizabith tells him nodding her head vigorously at him.
"Let me get try to understand your long prattle, you cleaned my shelves and vials because they were dusty. You cleaned the walls because they were grime all over them, and you cleaned the floors because they were dirty. Who are you trying to fool sucking up to me is not going to win me over I will not soften my demands of you." Snape glares at them.
"Fine lets just call it an annoying way to put you off your axis's so you do not know what is coming next." Alizabith smiles sweetly at him. Snape glared daggers at them.
"I do not care what you call it. Now follow me launch is ready." They both get up off the floor and follow him up the stairs while glaring at his back.
Just want to thank lilyflower101 for the review and apologize for the longish wait. please keep reviewing it would help with some creative ideas.