*So? How about that game? holy crap! it is good to have our boy back! 4 points in his first game! Hopefully him being back will wipe away my momentary writers block on my other story! Merry Sid-mas everybody!

Chapter Three

Dear Diary,

I am going to punch that bitch in the face. I don't think this is what the therapist had in mind when he told me to write down what I am feeling but fuck it! He should be happy I am not pummelling her with rocks. Consider it progress! You wouldn't believe the budget she gave me for groceries! How am I supposed to feed 60 grown men for a week on this kind of money? I don't even want to tell Lucy because the old bat is going to go ape and I am sure I am going to get blamed for it… Angie says, 'don't fuck up!' but then she doesn't exactly give me a chance to succeed here! Any chance these guys could be sustained on hash browns and Kraft dinner for the whole week? The protein shakes alone cost more then the budget she gave me! Does she have any idea what organic chicken costs? It's not cheap! AHHHHH! I am going to have to take money out of my savings account to cover this… how fair is that? Shit.

Maybe I should just give in and cash Richie's cheque…

I slam my journal closed and feel a tear run down my cheek.

"NO! STOP IT!" I yell at myself, looking up and facing my reflection in the computer screen in front of me. I have never cashed a single cheque from him and I don't want to start now. I don't need his money. I won't take it.

I turn down to my menu plan and grocery list. I want to run it past Lucy, the school's cook and make sure she is okay with everything. She won't say boo but it's a professional courtesy I like to extend. The recipes she follows are all mine and she trusts that I know more about nutrition and the needs of hockey players then she does. 'In my day, steak and potatoes – that's what the boys ate! And they didn't complain unless the beer ran out!' I can't imagine how the guys managed to skate down the ice, never mind score any goals back then. No, today its all about omega threes and super foods, organic high protein meals and the starch of choice – quinoa. Lucy doesn't even know what it is. "Looks like little sperms to me," she shakes her head and I laugh every time. She just follows instructions and makes sure food is ready when the boys want it. She has worked here for over thirty years. She comes in, cooks, cleans up and leaves. She stays out of the family gossip and drama but is always there to listen. She held it together like a rock through the black days and made sure we all remembered to eat. I don't know what I would do without her. For one, I'd probably end up being the cook too.

I grab my grocery list and menu and head down the hall to the kitchen. Lucy is prepping chicken stock, a staple in all her meals. She refuses to use pre-packaged stock. I stand and watch for a couple minutes as she methodically chops veggies, humming to herself. It calms me. As long as she is still here in this kitchen cooking, something just seems so stable, so doable. Like nothing has really changed, even thought I know everything has.

"I can do this," I whisper to myself and head up to Lucy.

"Hello darlin'," She greets me with her friendly smile. "I hope you got something good for me…"

"Just the menu for the upcoming session. Did you want to take a look at it?" I ask.

"Nope," She shakes her head, as she always does. "But while you are in town, I was hoping you could pick me up a new wooden spoon…"

"Oh, I dunno… that might break the bank…" I laugh. A $2 investment in our cook's happiness is quite worth it. She could ask for a lot more, as I survey the old kitchen which, like most areas of the school, could use some TLC. She just smiles and contently stirs her pot. "I am heading to the city now and should be back around one o'clock. I think some of the boys are arriving this morning, so maybe check with Angie and see about the numbers for the lunch service."

"Will do…"

"And if you think of anything else while I am out, don't hesitate to call," I remind her. She won't call. Never does but I still offer. "Oh and the grocery order that I placed on Wednesday is supposed to be here at two, but if he's early or I'm late just have him put it on the back counter and I can put it away when I get back."

I try and order whatever I can wholesale because it's cheaper but they don't have the best selection. Not that the grocery store in town does either but I don't often feel like driving to the city so I have learned to make do. When I do go down, I stock up. I have learned to keep meticulous inventory so I can better plan. When I first got suckered into this job, I ordered whilly nilly, not really caring what happened in the long run but now I have developed systems and it's actually a lot easier. And I am very proud of my systems. Yey me!

I head back to my office and grab my purse and keys and head out to my truck. I plop my purse down on the seat beside me and notice a little spot on the side of the leather. I stick my thumb in my mouth and go to work at vigorously rubbing out the spot. Charlie bought me this purse when he got his signing bonus after being drafted. I am a little protective of it. He said there would be many more designer purses in my future and what can I say? I was a vain 17 year old girl and that sounded damn near perfect to me. Now, it looks like it will be my first and last designer anything, as I look at the cheque Angie gave me for groceries and run a quick calculation of my savings account balance. Oh well… there are more important things in life.

I put the truck in gear and head down out of the school's parking lot and towards the highway. It's about a thirty minute drive to Kenora – and our closest grocery store. I don't need much. It's more about getting a break and maybe a Starbucks. I like to feel human from time to time and not just a drone at someone else's beck and call. Holding a grande skinny caramel macchiato in my hands makes me think that I am back in University in Montreal, with a professional athlete boyfriend who has a multi-million dollar contract, on my way to being something great. The feeling doesn't last long but I embrace every fleeting second.

Oh well… it was a nice dream.

I turn off the road to town and pass the Tim Horton's, debating for a second on taking the fiscally responsible path of the $1.50 coffee over driving out of my way for the $5.00 coffee. Fuck it. I will enjoy the $5.00 coffee, five times as much and make the decision to continue my drive. I drive down the main road, past all the folks up from Winnipeg for the weekend. Most will be heading back to the city, as it's Sunday and that's just the way of life for these happy cottagers. I follow the lake and turn up the road towards the Safeway and Starbucks, passing the hockey rink that I spent so much of my childhood at. Happy times. I make a note to concentrate on those for the next week and then, if I so choose, I can go back to being a miserable bitch when the guys all leave and forget about me for another year.

I park and wander into the grocery store. I pick up the things that I need and find Lucy her requested wooden spoon. I deliver the bags to the back of the truck and head back inside to order my coffee. The barista hands it to me and tells me to have a good day and I almost burst out laughing. A good day is far from likely.

Instead of climbing into the truck and heading home, I take a little stroll and plop myself on a bench along the shore. I take short, little sips of my coffee, trying to desperately extend my 'me-time' as long as possible. The M.S. Kenora sails past on her regular schedule, sending waves from her wake, crashing to the shore. I watch as they splash on the rocks lining the banks of the lake, sending a pack of seagulls up into the sky. I laugh out loud as one stubborn seagull takes a full splash, refusing to move from his rock. He seems perfectly content, spreading his wings to take the shower – surely a refreshing treat on this warm summer day. All the other seagulls eventually return to their rocks but the stubborn seagull never moved. He could have drowned but he didn't seem to care. Must be nice to not care.

Wow… now I am envious of a fucking seagull. They eat garbage off of the side of the Trans Canada for Christ sake. I bury my hands in my face and choke back tears. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will NOT cry.

"You are so predictable…" I feel the hands on my shoulder before I hear the words and jump off the bench, ready to attack.

"Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!" I wind up and punch Mike in the shoulder. He has been sneaking up on me since we were kids. You'd think the guy would get the point that I'm not a fan when I punch him every time.

"Well if I didn't know exactly where you would be…" He points out, rubbing his shoulder.

"That is kinda creepy… you stalking me now Richie?"

"Just pickin' up some groceries for my grandma and thought I saw your truck…" He points towards the grocery store parking lot. "You know, if you cashed those cheques I sent you, you could probably drive something a bit more inconspicuous…"

"I love that truck!" I pout. Charlie and I bought that truck together when we were in high school, combining the money from our shitty summer jobs. We put about ten times more into it in repairs then we paid for it but I still think it's worth it.

"I think you might have missed the point there…" Mike laughs. "The money?"

"I don't need your money…" I lie. I know he's just trying to help but I have never cashed a single cheque from him. It started off in anger but now it's more on principal. You can't buy forgiveness.

"Yes you do…" He argues with an I-know-it-all smile that frustrates the shit out of me. Just because he's right, doesn't mean he has to be an ass about it.

"Fine but I don't want it..." I protest, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You might as well just use it. I'm not gonna stop sending it to you," He insists with a smirk.

"Send away, your just wasting money on cheques."

"I get free cheques - a perk of being a millionaire." Rub it in Richards. Rub. It. In. That should have been me.

"Whatever…. I'm not in the mood to argue with you…"

"Fine but you better get over it… I'm comin' to camp today," He laughs.

"Are you? Well then I guess I'll see you later…" I suck back the last sip of my very worth while $5 coffee and pry myself up off of my bench. Mike nods and looks up at me. I smile and head to my car but I can feel his eyes on me as I walk away.

-.-

"Ahhhhh!" Liz comes running up the drive way and jumps at me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I wrap my arms around her and fling her around in a circle. She looks good. Happy. I assume it's fake but I am not about to get into it right now…

"Shit, it's good to see you!" I plop her down and look into her face.

"You too!" She beams and then there's an awkward silence between us. I don't really know what to say. It's still painful. But what's worse is that I can't help but notice how god damn beautiful she is. No wonder Charlie kept her away from everyone – he probably didn't trust anyone not to try and steal her away from him.

*cough*

I snap out of it hearing Sid clear his throat. Looking back at him, he gives me a scolding look. It's the same look my grandma would give me when I dragged my feet as a child or put my elbows on the dinner table. Manners, manners…

"Sorry, um, Liz this is my team mate, um, Sidney Crosby."

"Hi, how are you?" Liz extends her small delicate hand and I watch it slip into his huge paw. Her skin looks like one of my great aunt's porcelain dolls - smooth, creamy, almost iridescent. The dolls used to scare the crap out of me. I always thought they were going to come to life and stab me in the eye or something.

"I'll get Lucas to show you to your rooms," Liz says, pulling out her phone and sending a text. "If you guys need anything, James, you know where I am, please don't hesitate. Angie of course, will have a package for you guys later but we'll just get you settled in first."

"Great, are we in the main building or cabins?"

"I'm not sure… I think the main building. Actually I think she gave you guys the suites in the left wing but we can check inside…" Liz nods to the front door and begins walking towards it.

"Wow… we must be moving up in the world!" I laugh. Suites in the left wing… wow. I've always been banished to the back cabins.

"I think Angie might be trying to impress someone…" Liz offers with a wink.

"I didn't want any special attention or anything…" Sid interjects.

"Yeah, well… I'm sure you're used to it by now…" She smiles but I think I saw an eye roll. I won't lie, I'm a little relieved. I was a little nervous about bringing Sid here. I don't think I could handle Liz being all doe-eyed around him. Not that she is like that but a lot of girls change when they get near him and I would have been more then a little pissy. Not that I don't want her to be happy with the right guy, just maybe not with someone I couldn't beat up if I had too.

"Ang! James and Sidney are here!" She called down the admin hall to the offices and within seconds Angie appeared with the familiar fake smile. God, I hate that woman! And not just cause she treats Liz like a fucking slave but because she's a huge bitch too.

"James, I am so glad you could make it and the golden boy, Sidney Crosby… welcome to our humble hockey school. We are so happy to have you here. If you need anything, please don't hesitate –"

"Wow Ang, why don't you just suck them off in the lobby?" I hear behind me and turn to see Mike Richards, the captain of my new rival team, standing behind me. Or should I say ex-captain? I heard he got traded to L.A. 'That's a shame,' I think sarcastically to myself.

"Mike!" Liz gasps but then presses her lips together to contain her laughter. Angie looks like someone slapped her first born child in the face – which of course is entirely impossible because it means someone would have to fuck the nasty bitch… and as far as I am concerned there aren't enough drugs or alcohol - or any combination of - in the world.

"Richards," Sid extends his arm, attempting the diplomatic approach.

"Crosby? What the fuck are you doing here?" Richards barks. It's been my experience that the diplomatic approach is wasted on him…

"He is a guest of this school!" Angie snaps. "And if you would like to be, you would keep in mind that we have a zero tolerance policy!"

"She's right Mikey –" Liz tries to step in between them.

"Mikey?" Sid repeats his name in a child like voice and laughs.

"Yeah? What are you saying?" Richards barks, pushing out his chest like a baboon about to attack.

"Nothin' man… just… never heard anyone call you Mikey before," Sid shrugs with a cocky smile. "It's so cute," Sid reaches out and pinches Mike's cheeks like he's a baby. I see Mike clench his fists and I guess Liz does too, as she forces herself in between them. I debate stepping in but I think Sid could take him.

"Okay boys, no pissing in the lobby," Liz says, laying her hands flat on Mike's chest and directing him back a couple paces. It was almost a really short camp.

"Lucas! Perfect timing!" Liz greets the youngest Ross boy. "Please take James and Sidney to their rooms – "

"Whoa! You're Sidney Crosby!" Lucas stops in his tracks, his eyes round like plates.

"Hey, nice to meet you," Sid responds with a modest smile. That's more of the Sid we know.

"No! He can take Mike and I will personally escort James and Sidney to their rooms," Angie interrupts. Liz looks up at me and mouths an apology but I just shrug and nudge Sid towards his bags. It's probably better to get these two out of the lobby and away from each other anyway. As we gather our bags, a couple guys I don't recognize come in and Liz busies herself helping them. I'll look forward to catching up with her later.

-.-

"And the common room is just down there but your suite is one of the few that has its own sitting area," Angie informs me. "And of course the kitchen, dining hall and break-out rooms are just past that. There is a map of the grounds in your info package but there is always someone in the reception area… I'm usually there... if you need anything… anything at all…"

"Right, well… um… thanks for that," I shift uncomfortably. I doubt she makes that same offer to all her clients. I kinda want to gag as she licks her lips in what I am guessing is her trying to be seductive. Ugh. 'Where did James go?' i think to myself, glancing past her and into the hall.

"Actually there is something that you could help me out with…" I remember, stepping back from her.

"Anything…" she purrs.

"Um… my, ah, nutritionist sent me with a meal plan… so if it's possible to, um, pass it on to your chef… maybe they could incorporate some of these elements."

"Absolutely, that's no problem at all!"

"I would appreciate it but only if it's not too much trouble…"

"No trouble at all… I'll pass it on right away!"

"Great. Thanks," I nod.

"So, you read through the info and if feel free to ask any questions. We want to make sure that your stay here is as comfortable as possible," She rambles on. I am really ready for this girl to be gone.

"Okay, will do… thanks…"

"Okay. Well I guess I'll see you at dinner then?" She makes her way towards the door.

"Great…bye," I offer with a nod. I hope she doesn't think I'm rude but I'm not in the mood to continue some meaningless conversation. She seems to get the point and slowly backs out of the room batting her eyelashes at me, like all the other girls do. I'm not sure who they think that works on.

"Hey!" James pops his head around the corner of my door, checking over his shoulder.

"Hey! Shit, I never thought she would leave!" I laugh with relief and he nods understandingly.

"Yeah, sorry for leaving you alone with her but... she annoys the crap out me. Literally. I had to drop a huge deuce!" James shakes his head and waves his hand in front of his face. "I hope you don't have to go for awhile..."

-.-

"Sidney Crosby just gave me a meal plan from his nutritionist. Here - " Angie shoves some papers into my hands.

"What do you want me to do with them?" I ask looking down at the complex notes.

"Make it happen," She barks.

"But… but I've already made the meal plans and bought the groceries…" I shuffle through the papers. Not a single thing in common with our current menu.

"So? Change it…" Do I look like a genie in a lamp?

"Lucy has already started prepping..."

"I don't give a rat's ass about that old bag. We pay her to do what we want!"

"I don't even know if I can get some of this stuff… I mean I guess I could go down to Winnipeg but there's not a lot of time… and we don't have the money to do a whole new menu!"

"We will find the money! We'll make cuts somewhere…" Angie informs me, as if that's easy to do.

"Where?" If there were cuts that could be made, they have already been made. We are running on fumes.

"Keep mouthing off and it'll be out of your pay!" Angie threatens me, something that doesn't exactly work anymore.

"You barely pay me as it is!" I laugh and she just glares at me.

"Make the changes!"