--through heaven and hell--
A/N - Ello again! Well, as promised here's chapter two!! Whoo! Okay seriously got to stop having sugar before I write... anyways, here's the chapter! Oh and a HUGE thanks to my reviewers! ily guys!
Disclaimer - I do NOT own the twilight plot or any of its original characters. I do NOT claim anything that isn't mine.
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chapter two: an unexpected surprise
--Bella's pov--
I fussed with the edge of my hunters green sweater as my eyes bored an imaginary hole through the door to the hospital room I was in. Every moment that passed by just increased my anxiety and I wasn't sure how much more of this silent torture I could take. My eyes darted to the small clock above the doorframe for the thousandth time before my gaze returned to staring at the door. An hour had passed and Dr. Gerandy wasn't back yet. He had led me to this bland hospital room almost two and a half hours ago, and then had me describe every single thing that was wrong before he began the never-ending procession of tests. How long could it possibly take to confirm that I just had a bad case of the flu? I mean, it was just the flu, wasn't it? Well, if it wasn't the flu, what could it be? My mind searched and searched for another possibility but it came up blank. The only conclusion I could come up with was that I had a bad case of the flu.
I tore my gaze from the door and stared down at my hand that were clenching and unclenching repeatedly in my lap. My useless thoughts were frustrating me and it didn't help that Dr. Gerandy wasn't back yet to shed some light on what was going on. I lost track of time as my mind tried without to success to find an alternative for the flu, something that could leave me so sick and sore, that I almost didn't even notice when a knock sounded at the door. I barely looked up in time to see Dr. Gerandy slip silently into the room and close the door firmly behind him. I smiled gratefully towards him for releasing me from the agonizing silence, but he was to engrossed in the clipboard that he held in his hands to notice. So I just sat on the small hospital cot and clenched my hands into tight fists, trying to keep some kind of control over the panic that was quickly taking me over.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity Dr. Gerandy looked up from his clipboard to see the panicked frenzy I was spiraling into. He smiled softly, "Don't worry Isabella, nothing is wrong, absolutely nothing. Please calm down." I sighed, weak with relief, and leaned back against the wall while I slowly closed my eyes. Nothing was wrong, that was great, actually that was more than great. That was the best news I could get right now. At least that's what I thought before Dr. Gerandy continued speaking. "Actually something's incredibly right." I opened my eyes and stared at him, puzzled, what was he talking about? Dr. Gerandy sat across from me and clasped his hands together. "Isabella, we're almost positive that we know what's happening, but I need to ask a couple of questions first, just to make sure. Is that all right?"
I was still completely confused, and I had an odd feeling about this, but my curiosity got the better of me. "Uhm, a-all right?" Dr. Gerandy chuckled, "I'll try to make this as simple as possible Isabella," I simply nodded, motioning for him to continue, "Well, Isabella, have you been... physically intimate, with anyone?" It took a moment for his words to sink in but as soon as they did I felt the blood rush to my face, causing my face to blush a deep crimson red. I suppose he took that as a 'yes' because he continued with his questioning, "When was the last time you were with someone?" The blush that was slowly fading from my cheeks was overtaken by another. "I-is that really i-important?" My embarrassment had me stuttering helplessly over my words, and I internally groaned at the awkward turn this conversation had taken. Dr. Gerandy chuckled, "Yes its important Isabella." I took a deep breath, "If this is really important..." Dr. Gerandy nodded. "Uhm, i-it was only once, on my uhm, my eighteenth birthday." Dr. Gerandy's smile became more pronounced as he checked something on his charts, then he quickly jotted something down before returning his attention to me.
"Thank you Isabella, that's all i need to know." I stared at him, waiting for him to tell me what the hell was going on, but he just sat there smiling silently at me. Finally i had enough of the silence, "Aren't you going to tell me what's happening to me?!" Dr. Gerandy chuckled, "I guess we have made you wait long enough... Isabella, congratulations, you're going to be a mother." I tilted my head to one side, "I-i don't think I u-understand... what your... s-saying..." I was lying to him, and I was trying to lie to myself. I knew what he was trying to tell me, but I was desperately trying to tell myself that it was a lie... that it wasn't true, in order to save my mangled heart from more damage. Of course, Dr. Gerandy wasn't going to let that happen, "Isabella... you're pregnant. About a month pregnant to be exact."
I shook my head furiously, "No I'm not, it's... it's impossible. I cant be... I cant... I'm not... it's impossible... I cant..." I was ranting on like an idiot and I knew that, but my mind wasn't concentrated on what I was saying, it was attempting to deny the fact that I was pregnant with Edwards baby. Dr. Gerandy looked puzzled, his eyebrows raised in question. "What exactly do you mean Isabella?" I was on the edge of a breakdown, my arms were wrapped tightly around my chest and tears filled my eyes just waiting to be shed. "H-h-he... he cant have... h-he cant have children... he cant... and h-he was the only one... the only one... h-he cant have children... which means I cant be pregnant. I just can't be." I could tell Dr. Gerandy was starting to get worried, concern filling his eyes, and he stood at my side slowly patting my back. "Who can't have children Isabella?" At that the tears streaked silently down my cheeks, and the hole in my chest ripped itself open, the edges ragged. The pain left me breathless, but I managed to choke out his name before I broke down. "E-Edward... Edward C-cu-Cullen... Edward is the father... Oh god, he's the father, and he's gone... he's gone..." I was sobbing hysterically now as the truth planted itself in my heart, I was pregnant, and I was going to have Edwards baby.
I realized everything at once, the nausea in the mornings that was actually morning sickness, my sore muscles, everything made sense. Yet, I was too blind to see the obvious, frightened to death that I might be pregnant with the love of my life's baby... and he wasn't even here. He would never know that he was a father, he would never hold his child, and he wouldn't be there for me as I struggled with the trivial problems of pregnancy. I would never feel his stone cold arms wrap around me in a silent reassurance, I would never feel his marble lips against mine as he celebrated the thing that could only be described as a miracle, and I would never see his crooked grin that would spread across his perfect lips as he heard the news. I would never know what would have happened if he and his family were here with me, because they were gone.
Gone.
The word caused a surge of pain to shoot through me, and a pained cry escaped my lips. I was vaguely aware of Dr. Gerandy's useless attempts to comfort me, and finally he just sat there with me, letting me cry myself out.
I don't know how long it took, but finally my tears stopped, but I couldn't remove my arms from my chest, the aching hole in my chest just hurt too much. I sat up slowly, smiling brokenly towards Dr. Gernady, "I-i-im s-sorry, you s-shouldn't h-have seen t-that." He dismissed my apology quickly, "Isabella don't worry about it, do you want to stay here for awhile, or would you like to go home?" I stood up shakily, "I think i-i-i'm going t-to go home... I need to t-think about some t-things." I was starting to be able to control my voice, but it was still shaking a bit, and I knew that my pain was in display at the moment. I felt extremely vulnerable, and i needed the sanctuary of my home, my room, where I could go to pieces in silence.
Dr. Gerandy smiled softly at me, before helping me to the lobby, where my father jumped up and hurried over to us. I'm sure I scared him to death, my eyes red, my arms clutching my chest for dear life, my steps shaky, my breaths labored. He looked me over and then he pulled me into his arms, pressing a kiss into my hair. Wordlessly he led me to the car, and helped me into in the back seat, before he got in the drivers seat and drove home quickly. As soon as we were parked I opened my door and tried to get out, but Charlie was standing there, offering me a helping hand. I took it gratefully and we walked silently into the house, and when we were inside I stumbled over to the couch and sank into the cushions.
Charlie stared at me, worry in his eyes, "Bells, what's wrong baby?" I looked him in the eyes, my own tearing up again. "Dad... i-i'm sorry, b-but I'm... I'm pregnant Dad. I-i-i'm going to h-have a b-b-ba-baby." Charlie's eyes widened and he stood there in shock, before he fell to his knees in front of me." Bells, baby, please don't cry. Shush, its okay, I'm not mad baby, I'm not mad. Don't cry, please don't cry baby." I sobbed, "Dad, your not m-m-mad? B-but don't you k-know what i-i-i d-did?" He nodded, "Well, Bells baby, its sort of obvious. But no, I'm not mad, baby, you're hurt. Why would I be mad at you? When this is tearing you up?" I sobbed and threw myself into his arms, and I let myself cry in my father's arms.
He understood, and I was so relieved that I was sobbing like a baby, but I didn't care. My dad was there for me, and he wasn't mad at me, and I was so happy I couldn't describe it. I was slowly excepting the fact that soon, I was going to be a mother, and to tell the truth I was getting excited. I was always going to have a reminder that he, did in fact, exist. No matter how much he wished otherwise. He existed, and my baby was going to be proof of that. I smiled to myself as I thought of that, my baby, and my tears turned to tears of joy. I was going to make it through this, with the support of my father, and my baby was going to be my reason to live. My baby was going to be my miracle. Because that's exactly what it was, my miracle.
My beautiful miracle.
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kays, im so sorry for the short-ness of the first two chapters. the nect few will be longer, i promise. but its just that i had to get the plot going and everything, and these chapters explain alot. so, again, sorry for the length. and if anyone has any ideas or suggestions please send them to me, im open to anything! thanks a ton guys.
love abso-freaking-lutely always - kara marie hale