I wake up shivering. I'm actually so cold that I'm physically shivering right now; of course that could be because I'm naked, lying in bed and without any covers. I'm so far to one side that I'm almost off the bed. I try to turn around but directly bump into Sid's hard body. I manage to turn onto my back without falling off the bed and can see that, even though it's a California King bed, Sid is taking up most of it and all of the covers. No wonder I'm shivering.

Holy shit! Last night all comes flooding back to me: Sid making me dinner; the fun and tenderness that followed; and then, I almost ruined it all. I made Sid stop after my orgasm and before he could put the condom on. It was on the tip of my tongue so much that I thought Sid could see it if I open my mouth. I love you. I rolled around my head unconsciously at first and then so that I could feel it in my heart. It almost came spilling out of my mouth. How could I possible feel love this quickly? Accept for Lizzy, I've never told anyone that I love them. I've definitely never felt it for a man. Would Sid believe me this quickly? Do I believe myself? I've never felt this before. Is it really love? Shit!

I have to pee so I slip out of bed. On my way to the bathroom, I pick up Sid's tee shirt off of the floor and slip it on. When I'm finished, I head back to the bedroom. There is a little more room on this side of the bed and, more importantly, there are available covers. I slip in and cuddle into the comforter.

I feel Sid shift, slide toward me and then behind me. I could almost sigh as his arms come around me; maybe because it's him and maybe because he's so warm.

"I could get used to this" Sid says behind me. I feel his breath on my neck and shiver.

The words 'I love you' keep rolling through my head. Ok, I need take a leap and trust him. Can there really be love if there isn't trust? Can I really love him if I don't trust him with my heart? My secrets? It's time to start.

"Sid?"

"Yeah babe."

My heart swells when he calls me babe.

"When I was young, really young like seven or eight, it was hard. My mother was either high or looking for her next high. She would bring guys home. I didn't realize at the time that she was hooking for money to buy drugs. I do remember being hungry, a lot. And cold. I only had a coat in the winter because my teachers would buy one for me. My regular attendance at school was to prevent Child Services from coming around to see why I wasn't at school. It was the only thing my mother made sure that I did which was good for me."

I pause now. I've never, ever told anyone about this before. I feel Sid hug me tighter. That support helps me go on.

"I remember she smacked me once because I told my teacher that I was hungry. The teacher had Child Services come by the apartment to talk to my mother. The first time they came by, my mother pretended that we weren't home. When they left, that's when she smacked me and asked what they wanted. I didn't even know who they were at the time. She cleaned up the place, stocked the fridge with food and told me to be good or she would do worse than the last smack.

I was terrified when the Worker came but made sure that I was good. My mother was a great actress pretending to be a devoted mother. She told the woman that I like to make up stories to get attention and that, while we didn't have much, everything that she had went to taking care of me.

The woman bought the whole act and even gave us coupons or something for free stuff. After she left, my mother turned on me, grabbed me by the shoulders and told me that if this ever happened again then I would be sorry I was every born. I didn't know what that meant but I could see the hate in her eyes and was truly scared."

I pause again. I really want Sid to understand me. He needs to know where I come from, not to feel sorry for me, but to understand the choices I made later; if he ever can of course.

After a deep breath, I continue. "She overdosed later that year. I came home from school and she was dead in the bathroom. I didn't know what to do. She always told me that the police were bad men and would take me away to lock me up. She said the same would happen if I ever told my teachers anything too. I didn't have anyone else to tell that she was dead. There was nobody. I shut the bathroom door and kept going to school so no one would 'lock' me up. The apartment started to smell both because I couldn't use the toilet since she was in the bathroom and from her decomposing body.

I came home from school on day three or four, I can't remember, and saw that our apartment door was open and there was a cop in front of it. I heard him say "is that her?" and point at me. I immediately turned and ran but they caught up with me of course. They didn't lock me up of course but that was when I went into my first foster home."

There's more of course but I feel emotionally spent having shared that much. It takes me back to that time which I always try to forget. I'm surprised that I've shared so much but glad that I did. This is the first step to a possible future with Sidney. This is my first step in truly trusting him.

Sid's quiet for the longest time. I wonder what he's thinking about but I can't bring myself to ask. Finally, Sid moves. I feel his lips at my ear. He kisses me first and then nuzzles my neck.

"Thank you" he whispers. "Thank you for trusting me."

I sigh and feel some of the weight lift off of my shoulders. Sid gets it; he understands and doesn't feel any less of me. At least I don't think so.

"It's hard Sid. I've never told that to anyone. I've never shared my past with anyone before."

"I'm so glad that you feel that you can trust me with this Cat. I care about you and only want to know you better."

I lean into his lips and sigh. I feel, well, content. For the first time in my life I feel content, cared for and accepted. It makes me optimistic for the future. We still have a long way to go but I feel good. As Sid slides his fingertips over my skin, I feel really good.

Sid kisses my neck again then settles into the pillow. It doesn't take him long to fall asleep, I hear his even and deep breathing, but it takes me much longer to settle. I can only hope that I don't see pity in Sid's eyes tomorrow. Maybe that's one of the things I feared but he would never hold it against me what happened to me as a child. It's just not in his nature. But, to see him feel pity would be bad too. He wants to understand me and my past; fine. He wants me to show him trust; I understand that too. For him to feel pity would ... I try to put that thought out of my mind. We'll deal with that if it happens.

With my body still sated from earlier in the evening and Sid's arms around me now, I fall asleep.

I wake up alone and have a bad feeling. Was it too much for Cat? Did she regret sharing her past with me? I listen and don't hear any noise in the apartment and the bathroom door is open. Fuck. I thought we were getting somewhere. Leaning back on the pillows, I consider going back to sleep to avoid the world.

"Damn, I wanted to get back before you woke up."

I look up and Cat silently walks into the bedroom wearing only my tee shirt and carrying a bowl and a plate. She hands them both to me and then climbs into bed.

"You don't have much in your fridge so we're having strawberries, sliced apples and cheese."

She leans in and kisses my lips softly.

"Hungry?" she whispers.

I see the flirting in her eyes and repeat how she answered me last night. "For?

"Let's try breakfast first" and she pops a berry in my mouth. "Then we'll see after that."

I look at the bedside clock and its 8am. I have lots of time before practice but "do you need to be home or at the diner?" I ask Cat.

She arches an eyebrow and asks "trying to get rid of me?"

I quickly push her back against the pillows and cover her body with mine.

After kissing her thoroughly, I say "never. Just wondering what we have time for."

Cat chuckles "I'm not working today and Lizzy knows that I'll be home later."

That definitely gives me ideas. I kiss her lips and then sink into the kiss. It quickly becomes heated.

"Let's forget about breakfast" I say into her lips.

"I'm not hungry anyway" Cat replies.

I get out of bed and pull Cat with me.

"Where are we going?" she asks.

"I like you wet" I reply heading to the shower.

"I'm always wet around you" she replies and I feel my dick respond. Oh yeah, I definitely love her wet.

After our shower, where we eventually did do some washing too, Cat is bundled in my robe and sitting on the bed while I dress.

"I guess I'll have to dress" she says on a sigh.

"I don't need you to but it might be a little chilly outside."

"Ha ha ha Crosby. Very funny."

I walk over and sit on the bed beside her. When I cup her cheek, Cat leans into my palm.

"Thank you" I say.

"Shouldn't I be thanking you? You cooked and hosted."

"No, I mean thank you for sharing your childhood with me last night. It couldn't have been easy and it means a lot. You trust me and I don't take that lightly."

Her eyes soften and then search mine. I don't know what she's looking for but she must be happy with what she sees because she smiles.

"I do trust you Sidney."

Now I smile and kiss her back. I sip from her lips a few more times than groan.

"I have to get to practice or else I wouldn't stop" I tell her.

"Likely story Crosby" she replies and gives me a last kiss before climbing off the bed.

When she drops the robe to get dress, I can't help myself but watch her. She is so beautiful; she's thin but has curves too and she's so tiny. It makes me wonder how I don't break her with some of the energetic things that we do. She sends me a saucy grin telling me that she knows I'm watching her.

I pull my shirt on and leave the room before I decide to do more than watch.

Cat joins me soon after, we dress in our outerwear and leave the apartment. As we drive to Cat's place we talk about our next date.

"I'd like to take you out" I tell her.

"You mean in public?" she asks.

"Yeah, in public" I reply.

"I thought you always said that would be a mistake."

I look at Cat and she looks quizzical but not angry or upset.

"When we first started dating but now" I shrug. Maybe she's not ready for that yet.

"Ok" she says.

"Ok?"

"Yeah Sid, ok. Let's go out."

I feel her hand cover mine. I guess she could feel my nerves. I didn't even know that I was nervous about this until now. I've never been 'out' with someone in Pittsburgh before. In Nova Scotia I have but the places I go to know me. In Pittsburgh, unless I go to a restaurant with a private room, I'm going to be seen and so will she.

"I want you prepared Cat. I'm not being arrogant. There are times when I get recognized and it takes me a while to sign autographs and take pictures with people. I don't know what will happen if they know that I'm out with a woman and that the woman is my girlfriend. It could be intense."

I wait to hear Cat's response. This is one of those times when I wish that I wasn't who I am and that I could go out with a girl like normal guys do. But I'm not and that can't be changed.

"Sid, are you sure you're not over reacting?"

Great, she doesn't believe me.

"Cat, do you remember when you came to the locker room with Lizzy? Do you remember who had most of the press around them? I couldn't even get down the hall. Or at the luncheon with all of the players?"

"Oh, yeah. You were mobbed, weren't you? It's like that out in public too?"

She's getting it now. "Yeah, it can be. It's not like that all of the time. There are places that we go where it's ok but then there are times when it is a mob scene too. You can't tell which it will be on any given night. I don't want to scare you; but, I think I owe it to you to be honest. My agent has always advised that I be cautious when dating openly in Pittsburgh."

She's quiet, very quiet. I start feeling uneasy about the whole thing. Maybe I've scared off myself rather than warning her.

"Cat, maybe we should wait" I tell her suddenly unsure.

"Sid, my hesitation is for Lizzy. Are you thinking there could be reporters and people stalking me and Lizzy? How crazy could this get?"

Shit, now I've too overboard and really worried her. "Cat, I don't think it would be like that, really. In fact, I think a reporter already knows that I'm dating you and he hasn't said or written anything. Shit, I don't know what I'm saying. Maybe I just want to keep you to myself."

She's quiet again until I pull up in front of her apartment. I stop the truck and turn to her. It takes her a few moments until she turns to me.

"Are you going to ask me out properly?" I see the sparkle back in her eyes. I guess she's decided.

"Cat, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow evening? I'm playing an afternoon game. I could pick you up after Lizzy goes to bed."

"I would like that very much Sidney."

I know I'm grinning at her now. The past twenty-four hours have been incredible. We had dinner, sex, she spent the night and told me more about her past. I'm still incredibly curious about Lizzy's father but Cat will tell me when she's ready. She's already letting me in more. I'm going to put away all concerns about the press and enjoy dating a beautiful, smart woman who I care a lot about.

"So I'll pick you up at 7:30?" I ask her.

"Sounds good" she replies and leans in.

I cup her face and linger over our kiss. We've been together for the longest time since dinner but I'm already missing her and don't want to see her go.

"You have to go to practice" she whispers against my lips.

"I know. I don't want to leave you."

"You'll see me tomorrow Sid."

"Ok, have a great day."

"I will. Thank you for a wonderful evening."

We linger again and finally Cat pulls away from me and dashes out the door. Once inside the door, she waves at me and then continues. I drive away and don't even realize that I'm whistling as I go.

It's a quick drive to Consol so I get to the rink on time. Heading into the change room, I say hi to guys as I go and then greet Duper.

"You got laid" Duper says to me.

"How do you know?" I ask him.

"You have a beautiful glow about you Sid."

"Fuck off" I tell him.

"Sid got laid?" I hear Geno ask.

This might be the right time to test the waters with my relationship.

"I've been seeing someone" I tell Geno and wait for his reaction.

I feel all activity in the room stop and all eyes turn to me. After a deep breath, I turn around and see all of the guys in the room are looking at me. What's that expression? In for a penny, in for a pound?

"Ok, let me have it" I say to them.

No one says anything for a while. There's no movement at all either.

Finally, Kuni says "that's great Sid."

I see the other guys nodding too.

"Thanks Kuni" I reply.

Everyone goes back to what they were doing and the chatter starts again.

"What were you expecting?" Duper asks me.

I guess that's a good question. I've never had a girl during the season so I really didn't know what to expect. The guys are always ragging on each other so I assumed they would be the same now.

"Is it that girl from the diner?" Neal asks me.

Wow, Nealer is actually being, sincere?

"Yeah, that's her" I reply.

"She's hot!" Now that's the Neal I know. "She's really hot Sid."

The guys slowly trickle out of the change room until I'm left with Geno.

"She's good girl?" Geno asks.

This is the most Geno has ever said to me about a girl; either someone he's dating or someone I'm dating.

"Yeah G. She's really great." Ok, time to take the next risk. "She has an adorable little girl."

Geno looks surprised. "Little girl?"

"Yeah, she has a three year old who is so great; sweet and beautiful."

Geno nods to me and asks "you like little girl?"

"Yeah. I never thought about finding a girl who has a kid but ..."

I leave it there and wait to see his reaction.

"You happy?" He asks.

Leave it to Geno to boil it all down to a simple idea.

"Yeah, G."

"Good" he says and then walks out the door.

I guess it's as simple as that.

I find myself humming all day. It really feels like Sid and I have passed a milestone. We feel in sync with each other. It was still scary as hell to tell Sid about my past but it went even better than I thought and makes me encouraged to tell him more. Maybe he'll respond well to the whole story.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy!"

"Yes sweetie" I reply.

"Look mommy" she demands.

I look over and see that she has been very busy while I've been making lunch. It looks like she's been trying on everything in my closet; everything that remotely fits anyway.

"Lizzy. What has mommy said about going into my closet?"

Lizzy starts to pout now. She still tries to pull the pout and wining to get out of trouble.

"Lizzy, I asked you a question. What has mommy said about her closet?"

"No go" she whispers.

"That's right. You're not supposed to go into mommy's closet. So what do you have to say?"

I wait for a few moments while she pouts and stares at her feet.

"Sorry" she whispers.

"Thank you. Now come here and give me a hug."

I bend down and she shuffles over. Lizzy stops in front of me and leans in not quite wanting to give in and offer a hug.

"Ok, Lizzy, now go to mommy's room and put everything on my bed. We can hang it all up after lunch."

Lizzy pouts even deeper but turns and shuffles off to the bedroom. I manage to wait until she's left before I chuckle. I grab my phone.

'You won't believe it, Lizzy just tried on most of my clothes, all at once' I text.

It takes a few minutes but Sid texts me back.

'That's funny'

'Sure it's funny to you. Not your clothes'

'True'

'How's practice?'

'It was good. Going to work out now'

'You work out as well as practice'

'Yeah, have to keep up'

'As someone who benefits from it, keep that body up'

'Any area in particular?'

He's so funny.

'I'm very fond of your shoulders' I tell him.

'Really? Ok'

'And your abs too'

'Ok'

'And you ass, of course, that fine ass'

'How long do you want me in the gym babe?'

'Ha ha ha, as long as it takes babe' I reply to him. I love when we flirt. It's so much fun.

'Ok, gotta go then'

'Bye'

I finish up lunch and put it on the table.

"Lizzy, lunch is ready."

She comes running out of the bedroom and to the table.

"Yay!" She says as she climbs up on her chair. It looks like she's put the last incident behind her. That's good because I'm in a great mood. Sid does that for me.