Another time and space - Part four; never again

a Final Fantasy IV fanfiction (Edge x Cecil)

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"Please stay.."

Edge looked at the young man's hand, holding his own. Somewhere in his heart he felt something stir and he blinked as he wondered why he felt so calm. His eyes were fixed on their hands, Cecil's on top of his own. It felt like it was the most normal thing to do.

Slowly, his eyes traveled to Cecil's face and he told him in a whisper he'd collapsed of a fever. He took the other man's hand off his own and pulled away. Edge simply walked out of the room with a cold nod, ignoring the pain in Cecil's eyes.

Why would he feel in pain? It's not like he understood any of the things Edge felt or thought. 'why did you get so angry?' Wasn't that obvious? The girl had joyfully said he should kiss him… she told him to do something that he hadn't even thought of. 'It's not like she said anything offending.' Yeah, right! It might not have offended him, because he was always in for a joke, as long as it stayed a joke. But the prince? How dare she suggest something like THAT to a prince?

Edge stood in front of his own door, his hand on the wood. He'd known his reasoning was wrong, but he just couldn't help it. It had hurt him so much to hear that suggestion out loud. It hurt so much to stand there and not knowing what to reply, how to brush it off as a joke. The girl had just sounded way too serious for it.

And as he had tried to think of something, anything at all, he'd imagined the touch of those lips on his. He had imagined how it would feel like to touch him, taste him. And he'd gotten angry. He'd gotten angry at himself for imagining something so wrong. He'd gotten angry at Rydia for suggesting it, even if she was drunk. And he got angry at Cecil for not even noticing how nervous he suddenly became. He got angry at Cecil because he never noticed, because he always stayed calm and never showed him a face of nervousness, uncomfort. The only faces he ever showed him were those of worry or determination. It was infuriating.

He made a fist of his hand and thrust it against the wooden door. Why did he have to get so angry? Why was Cecil always so ready to forgive him, even if there shouldn't be any forgiveness? He just didn't get it!

Cecil just lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling as he wondered why Edge had suddenly acted so cold towards him. Okay the prince was, angry, he was furious about something, why couldn't they just talk it out?

Slowly, the young man closed his eyes and placed his arm over his eyes. It was so hard to just be near him, unable to touch him like he wanted to. It was just so difficult to not be near him, even if Edge was still angry at him. Why hadn't he stayed?

Edge just stood there, his eyes tightly shut, his chaotic thoughts racing through his mind. He didn't want to be angry at his friend. He just couldn't help it. It just wasn't fair that even though he would give his kingdom for him, the man didn't even know. He never told him. He never showed him…

Slowly the young man opened his eyes and realized it was the same as with his parents. He loved them and loved them and loved them even more, but in the end they had died without him ever clearly telling them what he felt.

His eyes filled with determination as he looked up and his gaze searched for Cecil's door. He bit his lip as he slowly, but full confidence pushed himself away from his own room. He didn't notice the soft footsteps behind him. He didn't notice the soft voicing calling out his name. He just thought one thing over and over again:

"I can't let this end this way. I can't let him think I don't care, because I do. Why did I snap at him for not seeing the truth? I never intended him to see it, I never wanted him to know…"

Rydia called Edge once again, but the young prince didn't react to her in any way. As he turned his back at her, she could feel how lost in thought he was and for a moment, she wondered if maybe she should call for him a bit louder.

The girl nervously entwined her fingers as she stared at the young man's back. Before she could decide what to do, he started to walk away from her. She turned away and started to go back to her room when she suddenly heard his voice in the dark. A soft smile graced her face as she understood there would be no place for her tonight.

Softly she walked down the stairs as she heard her friend repeating that one sentence over and over again, as if he were chanting a spell.

"Never again"

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